Fashionably Dead and Wed Book 7

by Robyn Peterman

  “First of all, it wasn’t me. Let’s get that shit straight,” I snapped.

  The Kev nodded and began to glow. “Bottom line, we don’t know where Spike took Ethan.”

  “This is a freakin’ clusterfuck,” Martha yelled. She ripped weapons off the wall and shoved everything she could fit into the pockets of her camouflage jumpsuit.

  “We need to find that pecker head and rip his ass to shreds,” Jane grunted as she too grabbed whatever deadly device she could find.

  My dread increased as I imagined the worst happening to the man who was my reason for living, aside from my son. Ethan had to say I do on Saturday and then bang me until I couldn’t walk. Dying was not in the plans.

  “Gareth,” I yelled, scaring everyone in the room. “You can call your siblings to you, can’t you?”

  “Yes,” he said, limping toward me.

  He looked horrible, but I needed him.

  “When we were in Paris you were able to go to them because they were caged and couldn’t come to you. Right?”

  “Right,” he said as a triumphant smile began to pull at his still beautiful mouth. “How many of us do I have to transport? I can’t move all of us. I’m too weak and we could end up lodged in a black hole somewhere.”

  “That would suck ass,” Jane muttered to a nodding Martha.

  “How many can you handle?” I asked as I slid an extra katana into a sling and belted it on.

  “Five including you and me,” he said. “I hope… I need a minute or two to prepare.”

  “Five it is,” I said ignoring his doubt and scanning the room to figure out which three to take. “The Kev, Venus and Mary. You will come with us.”

  Gemma bowed her head in disappointment and stepped back.

  “I’m sorry, Gemma. Mary can turn to mist and move behind Spike if I need her to. Venus is a bloody Vampyre killing machine and The Kev is… well he’s The Kev,” I said as I took her face in my hands. “Plus the Fairies would love to have your head on a platter. Can you forgive me?”

  “I can do you one better,” she said with a small smile on her lovely face.

  She placed her delicate hands on my head and chanted a short haunting melody. A tingle shot through my body and settled low in my abdomen. My balance was off for a few seconds and my vision blurred to the point I had to reach out and hold onto Gemma for balance.

  “What did you do?” I whispered as I slowly came back to myself.

  “You have some immunity to the Fairies now. Your focus needs to be on Ethan. If the Dark Fairies are present you just need to blow on them,” she replied.

  “Will it kill them?” I asked, still a little confused from the new magic swirling inside my body.

  “How does it make you feel?” she asked, eying me with concern.

  “Dizzy, blurry—weird,” I replied.

  “Multiply that by a thousand and that’s what it will temporarily do to the Fairies,” she promised and then hugged me tight. “You will be careful. You have a wedding to go to on Saturday.”

  “I will,” I told her.

  “Ain’t you gonna tell us you’re sorry, Booby Boobmeister?” Jane demanded with her bony arms crossed over her sagging chest.

  “Um, am I supposed to?” I asked with raised brows.

  “I think it’s only fitting,” Martha said, squinting at me.

  I pretended to sigh dramatically even though breathing wasn’t in my repertoire. “Actually, I am sorry. You could have been an appallingly wonderful distraction, but now that the game has changed, I think you’re more valuable here protecting our boy.”

  “You hear that?” Jane crowed to the room. “She called him our boy!”

  “Bout motherhumpin’ time she realized how fucking important we are in that baby’s upbringing,” Martha grumbled with a delighted grin on her face.

  “It’s time,” Gareth said tersely.

  The magic was taking a toll on him, but no one would ever hear a complaint from the dying Vampyre. Even Venus looked worried, but his narrow-eyed glare made everyone swallow any words of concern we might have uttered.

  “Put your hands on me,” he instructed. “Venus, I’d like your hands on my ass please. Or if you feeling especially kind this fine evening, my dick is a little chilly.”

  “You’re a pig, Gareth,” Venus snapped, but without her usual rancor towards him.

  Maybe she was softening a bit toward the Vampyre…

  The Kev, Mary and I put our hands on Gareth and waited.

  “Hold on tight,” Gareth warned. “It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”

  And that was the biggest understatement I’d ever heard.

  Chapter 16

  “Holy shit, are we still alive?” Venus whispered, looking around the dark hallway as we tried to untangle ourselves from each other.

  “That was one Hell of a ride,” The Kev muttered, popping his neck and grinning. “Thought we were goners there for a minute or two.”

  “I did warn you,” Gareth shot back with an unapologetic shrug.

  “Where are we?” Venus asked.

  “No clue,” I said as I took in the décor. “It’s butt-ass ugly though.”

  “Word,” she said, gingerly touching an enormous golden lion statue.

  It was a castle of some sort. It fell short of grand due to the tacky nature of the wall treatments, furniture and zoo of shiny statues—kind of nouveau riche gross. Satan would have adored the place.

  “I don’t detect Fairies,” The Kev said quietly as he gently moved us all to the wall.

  Gareth looked like he was going to collapse. His pallor—usually pale as most Vamps were—was now ghostly.

  “You’ll stay here,” I instructed Gareth firmly. “I love you for transporting us, but you’re now a liability.”

  “While it hurts my pride tremendously to agree with you… I do. I will wait here in the shadows for you to come back. I expect my brother to be with you,” he said.

  “He will be,” I promised.

  “Should he be alone?” Venus asked as she stared at Gareth with concern.

  “Why Venus,” he purred. “Didn’t know you cared. What a lovely turn of events. I’m quite fine, but very horny…”

  “Enough,” I snapped. “If he can talk about his dick, he’s fine.”

  “I disagree,” The Kev said examining Gareth closely. “After the transport he needs blood. Venus are you willing to let him feed from you?”

  Venus hesitated for a moment and stared at the man who’d once been so vibrant. “Yes. I will feed him and then come find you.”

  “That works,” I said, realizing I was so focused on Ethan I wasn’t taking care of my people. I nodded in grateful respect to The Kev.

  “We’re in Spike’s home,” Mary said, speaking for the first time since we arrived. “I was here about fifty years ago. We’re on the outskirts of Chicago. Lake Michigan is a few miles away.”

  “He won’t be expecting us,” The Kev reminded us softly. “He’s probably in no hurry with whatever he has planned.”

  “Possibly,” I agreed. “But we can’t count on that. I want to find them now.”

  “Can you feel Ethan?” Mary asked.

  I was well aware that she wanted to be the one with the ability to find him, but she wasn’t—and never would be. I closed my eyes and nodded curtly. He was here, but our bond was weak.

  “He’s here, but he’s damaged,” I said as fire began to spit from my fingertips.

  “Tamp it down,” The Kev warned. “We don’t want to blow our cover by burning the bastard’s house to the ground.”

  I reined it in with difficulty. I’d burn his house down after I killed him.

  “Do you remember anything about where Spike might like to be in his house?” Venus asked Mary in a cold tone.

  She didn’t trust Mary. Hell, I didn’t trust Mary either, but Mary owed me and seemed to despise Spike more than all of us put together.

  “On the main level in the back of the house is a studio,�
� she said, and began to move down the hallway at a quick clip. “He always fancied himself a movie star and had a film studio built in the house.”

  “Seriously?” The Kev asked with a grunt of disbelief.

  “Quite,” she replied. “Follow me.”

  “If she leads us on a wild goose chase, I will kill her,” The Kev said as we jogged to catch up with Mary.

  “No,” I corrected my trusted friend. “If she does that, she’s all mine.”

  ***

  “Holy Hell,” I whispered as I took in the studio. It was an exact replica of the Buffy the Vampyre Slayer set. “I was joking about the Buffy thing with Spike and his name.”

  “He changes his name on a regular basis depending on which movie Vampyre he’s obsessed with,” Mary snipped derisively. “Last year he was Edward.”

  “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” I said with a humorless laugh. Spike was batshit crazy. How in the Hell did Ethan not know this?

  “I know what you’re thinking,” Mary said. “But even with Spike’s movie obsession, he’s somewhat stable, although he’s scum. Bad things happen when you live forever, Astrid. No one should have to be like us.”

  “Shhhh,” The Kev hushed us and pulled as behind the curtains. “Someone’s coming.”

  Ethan and Astrid slash Spike entered the room. Ethan was a bloody mess. Spike dragged him along the floor with total disregard for his head or any other part of him.

  “Ethan, if you had been a good boy and signed all the papers I wouldn’t have had to hurt you,” Spike whined in an exact replica of my voice.

  “Amazing,” The Kev said under his breath.

  “Over. This is over now,” I whispered and started to move out from behind the curtain.

  Mary’s vise like grip on my arm stopped me. She nodded her head toward the scene and I froze. There was a contraption strapped to Ethan that held a silver stake aimed at his heart and Spike held some sort of remote.

  “Now darling,” Spike purred. “You can’t go to sleep yet. There’s still so much to do before you die.”

  “Astrid, what the Hell are you doing?” Ethan choked out weakly as blood poured from his mouth. “What has happened to you?”

  “I’m tired, Ethan,” Spike said. “I’ve decided I don’t want to be a Vampyre anymore. Too many politics.”

  “What?” he mumbled, confused. “You can’t simply decide not to be a Vampyre.”

  “Really?” Spike asked in mock surprise as he kicked Ethan in the head. “That’s terrible news. However, you’re very wrong. Tell you what, you sign all of your immortal legal power to the Fairies and they’ll turn me human again. How about that? I know you want me to be happy.”

  “What the fuck is he talking about?” I whispered to The Kev. “Is that true?”

  “It’s a myth,” he said. “I wondered how the Fairies were finding the portals. It has to have been Spike.”

  “It’s an elaborate plan,” I said, not sure The Kev was on the right track.

  “It’s like a movie,” Mary whispered. “He’s starring in his own movie.”

  “Let’s get to the part where he dies,” I said. “Mary, mist and go behind him. You’re going to take the remote. I’m going to reveal myself and get him to monologue. He’s such a shitty, arrogant fuck that I know he won’t be able to help himself.”

  “I want to be the one to kill him,” Mary insisted with so much hatred in her voice I stopped and stared at her.

  “Nope, that’s my role and I’m very good at it,” I replied. “What did Spike do to you?”

  There was much more here than met the eye.

  “He turned me against my will. I have to live forever because of that bastard,” she hissed as her eyes glowed green with loathing. “Is it really a lie about the Dark Fairies making immortals human?” she questioned The Kev harshly.

  “It’s a lie,” he confirmed.

  “I’m still not following the whole plot here,” I said. “This is a shitty B movie at best, but I do know it’s time for the credits to roll.”

  “Let’s do it,” Mary said, as she disappeared before our eyes.

  “Can she be trusted?” The Kev asked as I felt her float away.

  “Yes,” I said with more certainty than I felt. “She has to be. I’m going to transport out and come through the door so he doesn’t realize I’ve heard everything.”

  “It’s a plan,” The Kev said as he squeezed my hand.

  “A good one?” I asked.

  “That remains to be seen.”

  Chapter 17

  “Tell me I’m not seeing things,” I yelled, doing my best to sound awestruck as I stood in the doorway of the studio. “This has to be the set of Buffy the Vampyre Slayer! But look at you! Are we playing Parent Trap? You look exactly like me.”

  Spike froze and then a slow, proud grin spread across his face. “I loved that movie,” he gushed. “I even liked the remake.”

  “Me too!” I squealed as I stepped farther into the room. “When I realized you’d left without me, I tapped into Ethan’s and my mate connection and followed. Oh my God, what happened to Ethan?”

  Spike didn’t miss one insane beat. “Oh Astrid,” he said sadly. “We tried to stop the Dark Fairies, but they beat him almost to death. I saved him.”

  “Really?” I asked as I took a few more tentative steps forward. “Are the Dark Fairies still here?”

  “No,” he replied. “I brought Ethan here to my home so they wouldn’t kill him.”

  “That was so kind of you, Spike. Thank you.” I almost choked on my words, but they came out sounding truthful. I would walk through the fires of Hell to save my mate. Lying would be easy.

  “You’re most welcome,” he said warmly, and then pressed his hands to his temples as if he had a headache. “Would you like a tour of the studio? I have the bed that Edward and Bella made love in from Twilight just over there.”

  He pointed to the far left side of the cavernous room with delight—head pain apparently forgotten by fictional sparkly Vampyre sex.

  “No. I think I’d like to check on Ethan. He doesn’t look so good.” Again I moved a little closer toward the love of my life.

  “No, Astrid,” Spike bellowed as I saw him slip the remote into his pocket. “The Fairies put a contraption on him, and if we touch him, it will trigger the silver spike to pierce his heart. Stay back.”

  Spike was getting nervous. He paced erratically clearly trying to find a way out of the Hellish mess he’d created.

  Good luck with that. It was getting very close to his final bow.

  I closed my eyes for a split second to find Mary. She was as good as her word. The mist was slipping into Spike’s pocket with the remote in it. I just prayed she could remove it without him knowing.

  As unsettling as it was to speak to myself, I had to keep Spike talking. Until the remote was gone, Ethan’s life was still in danger.

  “Are you an actor, Spike?” I asked, feigning great interest.

  “Oh Astrid, you flatter me, but yes I am. I’ve done a few movies,” he said a gleeful lack of humility.

  “As yourself?” I inquired, trying to keep my eyes on him instead letting them stray to Ethan.

  “Nooooooo.” He laughed like I’d made an outstanding joke. “I simply take on others’ forms and then do the film. Kind of like I took on your form.”

  “Amazing,” I said, attempting to sound like a fan-girl. “What movies have you been in?”

  “Did you ever see Debby Does Dallas?”

  “Um… the porno?” WTF? It was all I could do not to gag.

  “I prefer to call it adult entertainment,” he corrected me sternly.

  “Right. Sorry. Um, nope, I never saw that one.”

  “Ohhhh, you should. I was wonderful. Would you like to see it? I have a lovely in-home theater with surround sound.”

  Was he serious?

  He was.

  Mary needed to get the damned remote out now.

  “Maybe some o
ther time,” I told him with a smile that I hoped to Hell didn’t look like a grimace. “I really need to help Ethan now.”

  Spike stared at me for a long moment and then wiped a nonexistent tear from his eye. “No one can help Prince Ethan,” he said as he went for his pocket. “He’s going to die tonight. I’m so sorry.”