Behind Her Smile

by Rosemary Hines

  Ten minutes later, Michelle called again and told her that they’d decided Madison could stay there for a while. “But only under one condition,” her daughter said.

  “What’s that?” Sheila asked.

  “You’ve got to tell us if it gets to be too much for you, Mom. Or if it starts to interfere with you and Rick. Promise?”

  “I promise,” she replied. “When she gets back here from school, I’ll run her over to your house to get clothes and whatever else she needs.”

  “Okay. Thanks, Mom. I mean it. Really. She can stay for a few days. Maybe a week if you are up to it. But call me anytime.”

  “I will. And I’ll keep you posted on what’s going on over here with her. I want Maddie to feel safe with me. But she needs to know that I’ll be in communication with you, too.”

  “Great. I think this will be really good for her.” There was a brief pause, and then Michelle added, “I’ve gotta run, Mom. My next class is waiting outside the door.”

  After saying goodbye to her daughter, Sheila stood up and headed for the guest room. “I’d better make sure there are a few empty drawers in the dresser and some room for hanging clothes in the closet,” she said aloud to herself, as she pictured all the items she and Rick had stored in that room after they got married.

  Madison missed history class that morning and purposely hid in the library during lunch to avoid seeing Miles. But after school, as she walked out to meet Rick, she heard him calling out her name. “Hey, Madison! Wait up!”

  Looking over her shoulder, she could see him weaving through the masses exiting campus. A moment later, he was by her side, his arm draped over her shoulder. “Where were you this morning?” he asked.

  “I slept in.”

  “Nice,” he replied approvingly. “Want a ride home?” He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head.

  “I’m not going home. I’m staying with my grandmother for a while.”

  “Really? Are your parents out of town? Maybe we could go there first, and then I could drop you at your grandma’s house.”

  She felt herself bristle, knowing full well why he wanted to go to her house first. “I can’t. Rick’s picking me up.”

  “Rick?” he asked, with what sounded like a possible twinge of jealousy.

  Madison hesitated for a moment before answering, enjoying the fact that he might finally realize he didn’t own her. “Yeah. Rick.” She looked up at him and smiled. “He’s my grandmother’s new husband.”

  Relief written across his face, Miles replied, “Oh. Okay. No problem.”

  Madison thought about her dream and about what Grandma Sheila had shared about the difficulty of being married to someone outside of her faith. “Miles?” she began.

  “Yeah?”

  “I think I’m going to get more involved in the youth group at church again. Do you think you’d want to come with me Thursday for their pizza and game night?”

  Miles’ arm dropped from her shoulder. “I thought we already talked about all this. I’m not into the church thing, remember?”

  “Yeah. I remember. I just wondered if you might reconsider. I mean now that we’ve gotten so serious and everything. It’s really important to me,” she explained.

  He shook his head in what looked like frustration. “You do whatever you want, Madison. But honestly, I’m not into that. Don’t expect me to suddenly become some holy roller and start going to church with you all the time. Okay?”

  “Okay. Got it. No church for you.”

  “Well, I guess I’ll head home,” he said. “See you in the morning.”

  “Right.”

  Miles leaned down to kiss her, but she pulled away. “Bye,” she said, as she turned and walked toward Rick’s car, waiting at the curb.

  Madison looked pretty upset when she got into the car. “Everything okay?” Rick asked.

  “Why do guys have to be so impossible?” she replied.

  “Well…I’m not quite sure how to answer that one. Maybe it would help if I knew what ‘impossible’ thing we’re talking about.” Give me wisdom here, God, he prayed silently, feeling very inadequate to the task of addressing her issues with her boyfriend.

  “Miles. He can be such a jerk sometimes.” Her words were harsh but her voice betrayed her hurt.

  Rick glanced over and could see that she was on the verge of crying. Should I say something or just wait for her to say more? He was accustomed to the college students he taught, but high school girls were out of his comfort zone completely.

  “Grandpa?” Madison said, her voice silencing his thoughts, as the term ‘grandpa’ melted his heart.

  “Yes?”

  “Don’t you teach about ancient civilizations?”

  “I do.”

  “What do you think about all the old laws in the Bible? I mean like how they are so strict about sex only in marriage. Aren’t they kind of outdated? Like, I mean, we don’t stone people for adultery anymore, and we don’t follow all the old dietary restrictions. It seems like we’ve sort of evolved from those old rules.” She glanced over at him and then continued. “Don’t you ever find it difficult to reconcile your new faith with what the Bible says on stuff like that? My mom told me about how much you’ve changed since when she was in your class. But did you change your mind on all of that?”

  “By all of that, you mean?”

  “I mean like all the rules in the Bible about sex and stuff.”

  Whoa. How do I answer that one? he thought, as he quickly shot up another prayer for wisdom. And then, almost as if he could hear God speaking to his heart, clearer than ever before, the thought penetrated to his core—I have prepared you for this from the beginning. And as the professor in him merged with the new man of faith, he was suddenly able to speak to her question with confidence.

  “Okay, Madison, here goes.” He looked over at her to be sure she was listening. “I’ve been studying human societies and cultures for years. You’re right. That’s what my job is as a professor of cultural anthropology.”

  “Yeah.”

  “So to answer your question, there was a time when I had disdain for the Bible and what you call its ‘rules’ about so many things. But now…now that I’ve spent the past few years digging deeply into scripture and coming to understand the heart of God, I see the absolute beauty and perfection of what I once dismissed as outdated. And when I look back and reexamine the societies of the past that perished, I see how applying God’s wisdom to their culture could have saved them the decay that triggered their demise.”

  “Oh,” she replied, not sounding convinced.

  Pulling the car into the driveway and turning off the motor, he turned to her and said, “Let me see if I can explain how I understand it.”

  “Okay,” she replied.

  “God's Law has three parts,” He held up three fingers and tapped each one as he stated, “moral laws, ceremonial laws, and civil laws. Since most of the laws we, as Christians, no longer follow are in the Old Testament, I’ll give you Old Testament examples first.”

  Madison nodded, now clearly intrigued.

  “Moral laws are God's standards for moral living, as in the Ten Commandments. They bridge both the Old and New Testament and are addressed in both. The moral laws in the Bible are still in effect for us today. They are God's moral standards for all individuals and remain the same yesterday, today, and forever. Those laws encompass the boundaries for relationships, including marriage.

  “Ceremonial laws relate to the manner of worshipping God through sacrifices, burnt offerings, and ceremonies. Ceremonial laws were required for animal sacrifices. Those foreshadowed the perfect sacrifice of God's Son.”

  He paused and she nodded. Then he continued. “Certain dietary restrictions in the Old Testament were also under the category of ceremonial law because they helped the Israelites distinguish between ‘clean’ and ‘unclean’ animals. Those ceremonial laws are no longer required because of Jesus’ death on the cross. His death was the per
fect sacrifice, which once and for all completely satisfied God's demand for righteousness. That’s why animal sacrifices are no longer required to satisfy God's judgment and wrath against our sin. And God made that clear when He instructed Peter, in the New Testament, to eat all types of animals.” He looked over to see her tracking along.

  “So here’s the key, these ceremonial laws, unlike moral laws, are not reinforced in the New Testament since Christ's death fulfilled them. We don’t need them now because we have access to God through Jesus’ sacrifice, which is why we don’t perform animal sacrifices anymore.”

  Madison nodded again. “Right. That makes sense.” She paused and then added, “Keep going.”

  “Okay, lastly, we have civil laws, which relate to the administration of justice. Civil laws can and do change, as they are relative to the civilization existing at a specific time. The civil laws in the Old Testament were the laws given by God specifically for the children of Israel. Civil laws vary from country to country with different forms of government. So, for example, in the United States we are not under the same civil laws as individuals living in Cuba.”

  “Right,” she replied.

  I think she’s getting this, he thought, feeling relieved. “You know, Madison, in Hebrew culture a person could sell himself into slavery as a means to repay a debt, but we would never do that in our culture. That’s another example of how civil laws evolve.”

  “Wow, I never knew all this,” she admitted. “And I’ve been going to church all my life.”

  Rick smiled. “Trust me, Madison, there’s a lifetime worth of concepts and truths to learn in scripture.”

  “Yeah. For sure,” she agreed. “But wait a second. Isn’t marriage a civil law thing? I mean like how the Supreme Court just changed the laws about marriage so now same-sex marriages are legal?”

  He paused a moment. Help me out here, Lord. “It’s become a civil law issue for our secular society, yes, because of concerns about rights and justice for all. But from what I’ve studied in scripture, Maddie, God was the One who invented sex and marriage. He had a plan for them to go together from the very beginning, as a sacred bond. The goal was to provide intimacy between one man and one woman in the boundaries of a lifelong relationship that would foster individual growth, spiritual partnership, and a balanced male-female structure to procreation and childrearing.”

  “So what do you think about the same-sex marriage law?” she asked.

  Grasping for the right words, he replied, “Here’s my perspective on why marriage was commanded by God to be between a man and a woman. In addition to the obvious matter of procreation, I believe God is in a continuous process of growing and stretching us beyond our comfort levels. It’s not easy for two very different genders to build lasting companionship, understanding, and intimacy. But that was part of the reason for His plan.

  “I believe He foreordained the relationship to be between a male and a female, who are built with very different shapes, needs, and strengths, to come together and be one for life. In the process the two sides of God—His strength and power, and His perfect love and boundless grace, are joined in marriage and families to bring a glimpse of divinity.” He looked over at her and smiled. “To be honest, Maddie, women tend to civilize us men. We like strength and power. They are better at expressing love and grace.”

  Rick studied her reaction and could see a light go on in Madison. It reminded him of his students when they’d grasp a new concept during a discussion or lecture.

  “Oh, yeah. I never thought of it that way,” she said “but it makes sense.” She paused and then asked, “But what about the idea of a guy and girl needing to be married to have a moral intimate relationship? Can’t they still experience that without a piece of paper to make it legal and morally okay?”

  He smiled. Ah, yes, the age-old argument of young men trying to skirt commitment. “It’s not the piece of paper that makes the difference, Maddie. It’s what that paper represents—a lifelong commitment. That’s how God laid it out.”

  When he glanced over, she seemed deep in thought.

  “I’d imagine it’s a pretty tough time to be a teenager,” he said.

  She looked out the window and replied under her breath, “Sure is.” She paused and then added, “Did you know that my grandma lived with my other grandpa before they got married?”

  “Yes.”

  She seemed surprised. “Did you ever live with someone?” she asked.

  Kids sure are bold these days, he thought before replying. “I did. When I was much younger.”

  “What happened?”

  “You mean why did we break up?”

  “Yeah.”

  “It was because of one of her friends’ parents.”

  Madison glanced over at him, and he could see the question mark on her face.

  He cleared his throat and launched into the story. “Her parents were pretty upset about our living situation, and they confronted her one time when she was home to pick up some things. Her father started calling me names—some pretty strong language, from what I recall her saying.”

  He paused to look over and see her furrowed brow.

  “So what did she do? Break up with you?” she asked.

  “Not at first. She stormed out of the house, told her parents she never wanted to see them again, and then fled to a friend’s house for consolation.”

  Madison nodded.

  “But her friend wasn’t home. In fact, no one was there except the friend’s father.”

  “What did she do?”

  “Believe it or not, she actually told him the whole story. She was so distraught about the fight with her parents and their parting words, that she couldn’t contain her emotions another minute.”

  “Wow. What did he say?” Madison was clearly soaking in every word.

  “After he heard the whole thing, he said, ‘Let me ask you something.’ She said ‘Okay.’ And he asked her this unexpected question—‘If something happened to Rick, like he fell off the roof and broke his neck, and he was paralyzed from the neck down, would you be willing to quit college and work full-time to support him and take care of him for the rest of your life?’” He paused to let the challenge soak in for a moment.

  Madison’s eyebrows lifted. “What did she say?”

  “She said she didn’t know.” Rick looked over and smiled. “Then this dad said, ‘Until you can answer that question, you are just playing house. You need to move out, and decide what you want in life. If you really love Rick and want to be with him forever, then get married and make that commitment permanent.’ I guess it suddenly made sense to her because she came back to our place, packed up her stuff, and moved back home.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep. She said we could get married or call it quits. And I wasn’t ready for marriage, so that took care of that.”

  Madison sat silently for a couple of minutes. Then she said, “Thanks, Grandpa.”

  He looked over and saw something he hadn’t expected. Relief. Her face glowing with relief.

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  As Sheila was driving Madison over to the house to pick up some clothes, Madison’s phone rang. Glancing down at her granddaughter’s phone screen, she saw a picture of Miles. Maddie hit the silence button and tossed the phone back into her purse.

  “Something wrong?” Sheila asked.

  “I wish he would just leave me alone,” her granddaughter replied.

  “That was Miles?”

  “Yeah.”

  They rode on in silence for a few minutes. Then Madison asked, “Did you ever think about breaking up with Grandpa John before you got married?”

  Sheila’s mind tumbled back in time to the many doubts she’d had before marrying Madison’s grandfather. Would she lose her relationship with her parents? What would life be like in a home without God at the center? And how would she feel if John wanted to teach their children his philosophy of self-sufficiency instead of faith?

  �
�You know, Madison, there were several times I almost left.”

  “Why didn’t you?” Maddie asked.

  “I was in love. He intrigued me with his rugged individualism, his confidence in his own ability to rise to every challenge life might throw his way. It was so different from what I’d seen in my own father, who relied completely on God for his strength and guidance.” She paused and pictured the young John in her mind. But then the hardships of their marriage rushed back to her. The many years she’d felt insignificant, while he’d immersed himself in the world of success.

  “The truth is, Maddie, I was fooled. What I saw as strength in John and weakness in my own father was actually really the opposite. My father had the strength of God dwelling within him. But John was relying on the mere strength of himself.” She sighed and patted Madison’s hand. “He did finally realize his need for God in his later years, after his accident. But we had a difficult marriage up to that point. And there were lots of challenges after he became an invalid.”

  Madison nodded. “I guess sometimes things don’t turn out the way we thought.”

  “You’re right. So, how about you? Are you thinking about breaking up with Miles?” Sheila asked, trying to sound only mildly curious while at the same time frantically praying that God would give Madison the courage to do just that.

  “Yeah. I do love him. Or at least I think I do. But I love God, too, and Miles is totally against church. He says he doesn’t care if I go, but he’ll never go with me.”

  Sheila pulled the car into the driveway and turned off the engine. She looked over at her granddaughter and saw the same confusion and heartache she’d known as a young girl herself. It was only by God’s grace that she’d gotten a second chance at love with a man who was seeking to grow in faith himself and share that experience with her.

  With every fiber of her being, she wanted that for Madison, too. God had been patient with Sheila through her wrong choices and the years she’d turned her back on Him. But there’d been consequences along the way. If it was possible for her to help her granddaughter avoid that path, she wanted nothing more than to do so.