Ten Seconds of Crazy

by Randileigh Kennedy

  “Cassidy, I’m Dr. Pheng,” the man said gently towards me, leaning down next to me.

  I looked down at my left arm, panicked to see wires coming out of me. I also saw there was a skin-colored elastic wrap of some sort wrapped around my right wrist. I instinctively wanted to pull the wires out of my arm, unsure as to why they were attached to my body, but my right arm ached. Dr. Pheng gently placed his hand on my forearm.

  “Cassidy, you were in a very serious accident,” Dr. Pheng spoke. “But you’re going to be okay.” I glanced over at Uncle Buck and noticed a tear falling down his round face.

  “Wh…” I tried to speak but my throat was so scratchy. “He…” I continued, pointing a finger towards Uncle Buck. No other words came out.

  “Yes, Phil is here. He said he’s your family, is that correct?” Dr. Pheng asked, looking back and forth between the two of us. A slow tear fell down my face as well and I slowly nodded.

  “Yeah,” I breathed, still struggling to get my words out. My entire body felt like stone; it was as if I couldn’t move on my own, other than my right arm and my neck. Just trying to reposition my body felt like I was being crushed under a heavy metal box.

  “I’m going to get Darla, I’ll give you a minute,” Uncle Buck said politely, excusing himself. It hurt to smile, but it warmed me to think of her here at the hospital.

  “Reid,” I said in a slow whisper to the doctor.

  “Let’s talk about your injuries. I know this is going to be a lot of information for you to take in. But the worst of it is over,” Dr. Pheng explained.

  “Where’s Reid?” I stammered, thankful I was able to get the words out.

  “He’s still in the trauma center,” Dr. Pheng answered honestly. “But we’re very optimistic.”

  I reached for the wires in my left arm, frantic to move. I wanted to get out of that room. But pain surged through my whole body and once again the doctor placed his hands gently on my forearms.

  “You have three fractured ribs,” he stated in a calm, soothing voice. “You sustained a concussion as well, but your scans look good for now. We had to extract some glass from your wrist. It cut pretty deep and will need some time to heal, but I don’t expect any serious nerve damage from that. Externally your abrasions don’t look so good on the surface, but it doesn’t appear that you have any internal bleeding or any other major damage, so it’s just cosmetic. But those seatbelt abrasions were worth it, because it saved your life. Otherwise you would’ve likely been ejected from the vehicle when you slid down the embankment.”

  “What?” I asked with a shaky, dry voice. One of the nurses gave me a small glass of water. The liquid burned as it slid down my throat, but it felt necessary.

  “You were in a pretty bad car accident, Cassidy,” Dr. Pheng repeated. “The police didn’t find any evidence of drugs or alcohol. It looks like you may have fallen asleep behind the wheel?”

  “No,” I said, vehemently shaking my head despite the pain. My entire torso ached with any movement. “That’s impossible. I was just driving… and…” My voice trailed off and I couldn’t even get out my thoughts. “Reid… I need to see Reid.”

  “He’s still undergoing some additional testing,” Dr. Pheng said, still resuming his calm, collected demeanor.

  “What did I do to him?” I asked quietly as more tears fell down my cheeks. “What did I do?” I asked again in a soft whimper.

  “We can talk about that a little later, but I do think he will be fine. He’s in a different wing of the hospital, so I haven’t seen his test results yet. I can’t speak to his condition other than to say he’s still in the trauma center, but he’s expected to be okay. We need to focus on you right now. You have eleven stitches near your left temple from your head wound. We need to get you better,” the doctor continued, somewhat oblivious to my concern for Reid. “Your body has been through a lot. Unfortunately with your ribs, there isn’t much we can do to speed up the healing process. But the worst pain occurs within the first few days of trauma, and you’ve already passed that, so they should gradually start feeling better.”

  “A few days? It’s already been a few days since the accident?” I asked, still trying to take in what he was saying to me. It didn’t seem possible that I could’ve been away from the world for several days without knowing it.

  He nodded. “Yes. But you’ve been heavily sedated. We had to take precautions with your head injury to make sure it wasn’t something more serious. It’s allowed time for your body to heal, and I think you’re recuperation time will be reduced because of it, especially with your ribs. You’ve shown great progress on your scans. The swelling from your head injury has gone down exponentially.”

  I nodded, still unsure of exactly what had happened to me that night. I had no recollection. “What about Reid?” I asked again.

  “We’ll continue giving you pain medicine for your discomfort,” Dr. Pheng further explained, ignoring me. “But only time and rest can heal the damage that’s been done. We want to run a few more tests on your head from the concussion, but otherwise it appears that you’re going to be okay.”

  Okay? Nothing about this situation seemed okay. My entire body felt crushed, I had wires all over me, I had someone else’s family here for me, and no one was answering my questions.

  Seconds later the door opened and Darla walked in with a handsome man who looked like an older version of Reid. Her face was a mess - red and puffy - but she still looked beautiful with her short polished dark hair and a track suit on.

  “Oh sweetheart,” she gushed, pulling up a chair right next to my bed. Dr. Pheng nodded at her, as if they’d already been introduced on a prior occasion. He left the room to give us a moment. “I’m so glad you’re okay.” She gently squeezed my good hand, softly rubbing it with her thumb. “This is my husband Kent.”

  “I heard so much about you,” he said warmly. “I was looking forward to meeting you after Darla told me you’d be at the cottage this summer for the Fourth. I wish we were all together here under better circumstances.” He pulled up a chair next to Darla, and even though I’d never met this man before, the concern in his eyes looked so genuine.

  “What happened to Reid? They won’t tell me anything,” I asked as slow tears still rolled down my face.

  “He’s going to be okay darling, don’t you worry. He’s fine. You guys are both fine,” she said reassuringly.

  “They said he’s still in the trauma center. Why is he still there?” I probed, hoping someone would just tell me the truth.

  “Well, he does have some serious injuries so they want to continue monitoring him for another day or so,” she explained. “But as long as his imaging scans keeping looking good, he’s going to be just fine.” She tried smiling at me to affirm her words, but she still had worry in her eyes.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said through heavier tears, not knowing what else I could say to make any of this better.

  “Don’t apologize, you guys are going to be all right,” she reiterated. If only her positive thoughts could erase the worst thing I’d ever done. Unfortunately there weren’t enough kind thoughts in the universe that could undo this.

  “When can I see him?” I asked, wiping off my face. My movements were still excruciating, but it was like my brain kept forgetting that fact until it received another painful reminder.

  “Well, he’s out of his last surgery and it sounds like that went well. So hopefully he’ll be moved to the recovery unit sometime tonight,” she stated.

  “Surgeries?” I asked, realizing that it was even worse than I imagined.

  “He suffered a small laceration to his spleen, along with a lacerated kidney. He also had some swelling on his brain,” she said softly as tears fell down her face.

  I couldn’t contain my tears either, and we just sat there for a moment in total silence, crying. She gently stroked a piece of my hair between her fingers and it felt so comforting to me despite the circumstances. Kent comforted Darla as she cried, and
the love I could see between them made sense, given how Reid spoke about his family.

  Our moment was interrupted by two men in police uniforms entering the room.

  “Excuse us,” one of the men said respectfully. “I’m Sergeant Briggs and this is Officer Cruise. I’m sure this isn’t a great time, but we just have a few questions for you.”

  “Does this really have to happen right now?” Kent interjected with a firm, protective tone. “Look at her, she’s been through so much. Can this wait?”

  “I do apologize sir, really. But we just have a few questions for the report so we can wrap things up and then we’ll be on our way.” Sergeant Briggs turned towards me. “Are these your parents?”

  I slowly shook my head no as the tears continued. I so badly wished they were in that moment, but if anything, my fond thoughts towards them made this more complicated. Not only did I hurt Reid, but now I’d hurt them too, and at a time in their lives when they certainly didn’t need any more grief.

  “It may be best if we speak to her alone,” Office Cruise spoke.

  “We’re not leaving unless she’s okay with it,” Kent interjected again. “Cassidy, if you don’t feel comfortable with it just say so.”

  “It’s okay,” I said softly. “That you Kent, but I’ll speak to them now. I’d rather get it over with.”

  Darla and Kent left the room and the two policemen sat in the chairs left out next to me.

  “We just have a few questions about the accident,” Sergeant Briggs explained. “Do you remember what happened?”

  I searched my memory but no specific details filtered in. I was driving, that much I remembered.

  “I was behind the wheel, listening to music. That’s the last thing I can think of,” I said honestly.

  “Where were you headed?” Office Cruise asked next.

  “To Michigan. We were on a road trip to Reid’s family cottage. Grand Haven maybe? Or Great Harbor? Something like that.” My head throbbed.

  “You’re not sure exactly where you were going?” Sergeant Briggs questioned. His face looked annoyed.

  “I’ve never been there,” I said curtly. “I just can’t remember the name of it.”

  The second policeman reached into a small bag he had with him and pulled out some photos. “Just a few questions about these,” Officer Cruise said shuffling through the photos. “I’m not sure you want to see all of these. Let me just grab the one I’m looking for.”

  “I do want to see them, if you don’t mind,” I replied, reaching out my left hand. My ribs ached from the motion.

  “Maybe a few of them. But some are a little graphic,” he replied apologetically. “You were traveling with Reid Carson, is that correct?”

  I nodded.

  “Is he your boyfriend?”

  “Kind of,” I answered, not really sure how to respond to that. “It’s complicated.”

  “It was his car?” Officer Cruise continued, handing me one of the photos. The once vibrant red Mustang was crushed in on the driver’s side, laying on a tilt from the highway embankment. There was debris scattered everywhere; broken glass, fragments of the car - our belongings scattered all over the side of the interstate. He handed me another photo and I gasped, tears again falling down my cheeks. The damage looked even more horrific from this second photo.

  Preston.

  The white porcelain urn that once rested in the trunk of the car was smashed to pieces on the ground next to the vehicle.

  “No,” I said with a whimper. “No.” My tears turned into unrelenting sobs.

  Minutes passed as I cried, and I wiped my tears on the hospital bed sheet laying on top of me. My entire body trembled. I couldn’t believe what I had done. Everything in the photo - the debris, the wrecked car, the urn - they were now all scattered remnants of everything Reid had been hanging on to.

  “There’s one more thing,” Sergeant Briggs said unsympathetically. It was impossible for me to regain my composure. The two officers exchanged a glance before holding up one more picture. “We’re going to need some information on this.”

  The photo he held up was of a small black handgun resting in the dirt next to the crushed Mustang. It was next to the soft carrying bag I found in the glove box.

  “We need any information you have on this murder weapon,” he stated coldly.

  My entire body went numb.

  CHAPTER 18

  “Murder weapon?” I repeated through my tears, scrunching up my face. “No, that’s not ours. It wasn’t Reid’s. Some hitchhiker left it in his car.”

  The officers exchanged looks again.

  “Were you there when that happened?” Sergeant Briggs asked directly.

  “No,” I stammered, “but the guy got out of Reid’s car in Mountain Ridge. I’m sure Reid could describe him to you. The guy didn’t have a car, so unless someone else picked him up, I doubt he’s far from there.” I wasn’t sure what else to say, or what exactly they were getting at. “I know it’s not Reid’s. That’s the only thing I’m sure of.” I had to believe Reid’s story. Maybe I had no proof, but I also had no reason to believe he would’ve made any of that up. He was embarrassed to tell me about the hitchhiker in the first place, so it had to be true.

  Officer Cruise gathered up the photographs, putting them back into the bag they came from. They didn’t ask any additional questions about it. “That’s all we have for you right now,” he said with a polite nod. He handed me a business card. “If you remember anything else, please give us a call. Otherwise that should be all we need.” The two men stood and finally left the room. Moments later, Darla reentered.

  “Are you okay?” she asked kindly, handing me some tissues. “What was that about? Is everything all right?”

  “Did you see the pictures?” I asked, tears continuing to fall. “They were horrible. I can’t believe I did this.”

  “It was an accident,” she said empathetically. “Look at you, you’re here. You’re a little banged up, but you’re going to be okay.” She smiled at me as she spoke, and I was amazed at how she was able to downplay this entire situation after seeing the damage I caused. “Reid’s finally back in the recovery room. His scans look great. They said he can have visitors in about thirty minutes.”

  “Does he know? About the car? About all the stuff?” I couldn’t bring myself to bring up Preston or the ashes. It weighed so heavily on me. What if she was only being so kind to me because she truly didn’t know what I’d done? Obviously the accident and our medical state was clear to her. But what if she didn’t know that my actions left her lost child on the side of the highway, abandoned with the wind and earth. She was mad at Reid for taking the ashes in the first place. Now I’d managed to destroy them completely. “Does Reid know?” I asked again. If he didn’t know the extent of it, I wasn’t sure I could even face him.

  “The officers already spoke to him earlier,” she explained. “Don’t be scared to face him, Cassidy,” she said, as if she was reading my mind. “All he cares about is that you’re okay. He doesn’t care about the rest of it.”

  Then he must not really know.

  I quietly began sobbing all over again. I believed her words. Everything I knew about Reid led me to believe what she said was true. The rest of it - the car, our belongings - it was just stuff. But it shouldn’t be that simple. I’d made a horrible judgment call. I should’ve pulled over as soon as I felt tired. He should be angry with me for my carelessness. He should hate me for destroying the only remaining thing left of his life experiences with Preston. There were still things Reid had left to do on his list - the very last things Preston asked of him.

  And I had just single handedly ended all of it.

  “He wants to see you,” Darla said reassuringly, breaking my thoughts. “Why don’t we get you cleaned up a bit?”

  I tried smiling through my tears, so appreciative for this woman in front of me. She went into the bathroom and came out with a warm washcloth, gently wiping the tears off my face. She br
ushed my long hair and put it up into a ponytail, which I was grateful for. I knew my ribs couldn’t handle that type of movement.

  Dr. Pheng and a couple of the nurses came back into the room and offered to transfer me into a wheelchair for transport. He assured me once I felt in control of my pain, I could start walking. In fact he told me as soon as I started, I would likely find that movement helped my pain. But for now the chair seemed like a good transition to feeling human again, as opposed to the feeling of being transported around in my hospital bed.

  The nurses transferred me into the chair and Dr. Pheng was right. The pain in my upper body was excruciating, and deep breaths were initially painful, but the chair helped. I felt stronger just by being out of the hospital bed in the same stagnant position. In that moment I actually believed that I would in fact be okay. Physically, anyway.

  I was wheeled down the hall and into an elevator that led us to a separate hospital wing. As soon as the nurse pushed me into Reid’s hospital room, the slow tears began to fall all over again. His face smiled from ear to ear as soon as he saw me.

  “Who would’ve thought a girl could look even prettier with stitches?” he said warmly. Darla politely excused herself to give us some privacy. Once the nurse had my chair nestled into a spot right next to Reid’s bed, she also promptly left the room. She closed the door behind her.

  “No one looks better with stitches,” I said playfully, trying to keep my voice from cracking.

  “Yes you do, I swear. It gives you street cred. You look tougher than you did before,” he teased. He looked straight into my eyes and it ate at me. “The hospital gown is a step down from your beaded black dress though.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I said quietly as the tears quickly came. I didn’t want to break down, but the way he looked at me - full of forgiveness and sincerity - I just couldn’t help it.

  “Don’t be sorry. We’re both okay,” he replied genuinely. He sounded just like his mother. “It was just an accident. It’s not your fault.”