A Walk In The Wilderness

by Nancy Hopper

  “How are you?” he asked gently.

  “Fine. In fact, I’m splendid now that you are home.”

  “How are you getting along with Cait?” he asked anxiously.

  “Perfectly. She’s adorable. We’ve become very close, actually.”

  David smiled. “Good. I suspected that would be the case, but I’m very glad to hear it, just the same. She’s asleep, I hope.”

  “Indeed.”

  “Good. She needs her rest. I hope she’s lost the skeletal look.”

  “David, she’s blooming like a rose. She’s beautiful, and … oh, I don’t know. She has curves, now.” she said suggestively.

  David gave her a look that warned her to behave, and showed her a dimple. “Yes, I noticed before I sent her here. They’re nothing new.”

  “You haven’t seen anything yet.” she predicted with a challenging look.

  David shook his head. “Behave yourself, now. I’m thrashed, mother. I think I’ll fall into bed, if you don’t mind. We’ll catch up tomorrow, all right?”

  “All right, David.” she agreed sweetly. She knew better than to press him when he was exhausted, but she’d planted her seed, just the same. She smiled as they went up the stairs, knowing that David would be looking to see the changes in a pretty girl. He wouldn’t be able to help himself, would he?

  David was awake at nine, despite his late arrival. He showered and snagged himself a cup of tea before settling on the veranda with the paper. My, it was so good to be home!

  A movement above him caught his eye, and he looked up to catch his first glimpse of Caitlin. She was kneeling on her veranda to water a plant, with her cloud of rich, coppery hair spilling around her like a river. Then she stood and reached overhead to tend another, looking fresh and clean in a white palazzo.

  He smiled, and lowered his eyes. It was good to see her again. He quickly noticed that she was in fact blooming, and had a bit of roundness to her arms that was most appealing. It appeared that she and Mother had been quite beneficial to one another, at first glance.

  In a few moments, she joined him downstairs. A bright smile lit her features when she saw him. “David! Good morning!” she greeted him warmly. “I thought that perhaps you’d sleep much later than this.”

  “I intended to. Hello, Caitlin. My, it’s good to see you. Come give me a hug, will you?”

  Cait’s eyes took on a wary sheen, but she obeyed. David noticed, and hugged her soundly just the same, before he sat down to his tea again. He teased her with a smile, and shook his head.

  “You’re looking very well.” he complimented with satisfaction. “It looks as though Mother’s been as good for you as you’ve been for her.”

  “She’s simply wonderful, David. We’re fast friends.”

  “How’d she get you to eat?” he asked critically. “Twist an arm behind your back?”

  Cait smiled. “With Bonnie’s cooking, there was little need for any enticement. They just put it in front of me. The lump began to go away as soon as I’d come here, actually.”

  “I’m glad. So do you think you’ll be all right here while I’m touring Europe?”

  “Oh, yes.” she agreed readily. “Please don’t make me leave.”

  “You don’t regret taking the job, then?”

  “Not at all! In fact, I feel a bit guilty getting paid. I’d be getting a great deal if room and board were the sum of it, David. And I think that you know it. All that I do is eat, sleep and enjoy myself. I’m quite pampered.”

  He laughed. “No, you’re keeping my mother sane, and that’s worth a great deal to me.” he argued. He gave her an inquisitive look. “So, tell me. Is she insatiably curious about you?”

  Caitlin blushed. “Well; she was, I think. But she was very polite, just the same. Once she understood about Skyler, she didn’t have many questions. So I just got it over with, and told her. It seemed the best thing to do. But I still don’t think she understands really, why you felt you had to take me under your wing.”

  David chuckled. “She’s not alone in that. You haven’t figured it out, either.” he accused. “I can't believe you think it was pure charity.”

  Caitlin looked up to see what was in his eyes, and felt a stab of panic when she saw a burning look there. She was held in the beam of his gaze for a moment, before she pulled her eyes away. She was blushing furiously.

  David just watched her with a warm, lazy smile. She was desperately trying to beat a hasty retreat, but there was nowhere to go. “Stop that, now.” he chastised. “I’m not here to terrorize you.”

  She shook her head helplessly. Her heart was fluttering. It wasn’t anything he’d said, it was the way he’d been looking at her. She didn’t know what to think.

  He leaned forward in his chair, and put his hand on hers. She forced herself to look up at him, when he didn’t speak. He smiled. There was still a strange fire in his eyes, but there was also a teasing glint. He squeezed her hand, and let go as his mother joined them.

  “Hey. It’s me, David. We are friends, remember?” he teased quietly.

  “Good morning, you two.” Grace greeted them happily.

  “’Morning.” he answered lightly.

  Caitlin only smiled nervously.

  “It’s a lovely morning, isn’t it?” Grace asked with a deep breath. “Though I’m sure you’re still tired, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, actually. I don’t plan to do anything today but sit around and stare at lovely faces. And perhaps, nap a bit.”

  David talked Caitlin into a walk after breakfast. She was nervous with David this morning, but she supposed that there was no point in delaying anything that he wanted to say or do. She was helpless here, completely at his mercy. He wisely asked in Grace’s presence, as well. It would have been difficult to refuse, at any rate.

  “There are just a few things to discuss, it won’t take forever.” He teased.

  Grace watched them go with hopeful curiosity in her eyes. David didn’t fail to notice.

  It was utterly peaceful as they strolled along through the countryside. David breathed in deeply as the breeze ruffled his hair. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and closed his eyes.

  “You’re very tired.” Caitlin ventured quietly.

  He smiled, and gave her a quick glance. She was staring at the ground.

  “Yes, I really am.” he admitted. “It’s been a trying tour with Skyler.”

  “Oh, my.” she sighed. “I have no doubt. David, I am so very sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused you with him.”

  “Don’t try to take it on yourself.” he corrected. “Skyler was a pain long before you came along. He’s jealous, temperamental and insecure, which makes him eternally competitive and irrational.” he said evenly.

  She looked at her feet. “It must be horrible for you. Does he suspect where I am?”

  David shrugged. “He was furious when you disappeared. He had a few pointed accusations, but he doesn’t seem to know. He avoids me now, which is fine with me. I’m not going to tour with him again. He’s full of poison, and I don’t like working in that atmosphere.”

  She smiled sadly, and shot a worried glance at him.

  “I could use your prayers, Cait.” he suggested lightly. He looked at her with musing eyes. She met his look, and then shied away.

  “David, I um … I’m afraid that I have absolutely no influence with God.” she stammered with a nervous laugh.

  He pulled her under his arm, and felt her stiffen a bit. He didn’t take his arm away. He just continued walking. “Hmm. I was sure that night that you came to the concert, that He was touching you. Did you know it? Or, don’t you know Him at all?”

  She blushed, and ventured a shy look up at him. “Well; I don’t know. I don’t think so.” she answered bashfully.

  He smiled. “He was there, that night. Do you know that?”

  She bashfully shook her head in acknowledgment. She certainly had felt His presence.

  “He wanted to take you for
His own that night, but Skyler blew the whole thing.” David advised. “He wants you to know Him. But you have to receive Him into your heart.”

  She looked up at him suspiciously. He laughed down at her. “Cait, stop it. Come on, now. I’ve not been away that long.”

  She dropped her head, and shrugged. David stopped walking, and turned her to face him. She finally looked up into his waiting eyes.

  “Skyler couldn’t show you what a man who knows God should be.” he said pointedly. “He operates well in his creative gifting, but he hasn’t allowed God to change him. His personal life is a mess. He’s in chaos. Do you understand how that’s possible?”

  Cait nodded. “I think so.” she hedged.

  He scrutinized her. “I was devastated to see him shatter all that God deposited in your heart, that night. I want to see you safe, Cait. I want to know that He’s holding you in His arms. Will you let me pray for you?”

  She looked up at him uneasily. “But I’m not sick, or in trouble.”

  He smiled. “I know. But I can see that you haven’t received Him.” he explained. “It’s very important that you do. You see, it’s not enough to call on Him when you’re sick, or in trouble. That would be like using Him to get you out of a tight spot, pretending to care for Him when you only want His protection.”

  “He loves you, Cait, and He wants you to love Him the same way. He wants a relationship with you, to draw you to know Him.”

  “But I’m not a bad person.” she objected worriedly.

  “I know that. But it’s not enough, Cait. He died for you, honey. He paid the price so that we can be with Him. Intimate with Him. There is so much more; but we can only have this if we’ll receive Jesus, and all that He did for us. There is no other way to be set free.”

  “Unless you’re willing to receive Jesus into your heart, you can’t cross that bridge into the arms of the Father. It has nothing to do with being bad, or honorable. Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. You have to accept Him personally, honey. It’s simple. You’re on one side of the fence, or the other. It’s either with Jesus, or else you’re against Him; a captive to darkness.”

  She shot an uneasy look at him. “Oh.” she said quietly.

  He chuckled, and put his hands on her shoulders. “It requires a commitment, you see. He's not like a cash machine, that you run to when you need something. Would you treat a friend that way? Only call when you need something, want something from them? He’s just like us, in that He wants a relationship with us that’s based in love, and companionship. Will you do this much? Can I pray that He will make Himself real to you?”

  She drew a deep breath. “That’s fair enough.” she agreed slowly. She was glad that David wasn’t doing a hard sell. She respected him for that. She didn’t mind his concern or his prayers, as long as he left the decisions with her.

  He took her hands and closed his eyes, and he silently prayed. A peace settled over Caitlin as she watched him. She really didn’t feel anything else except the peace; and she wasn’t sure if it happened because of David, or God.

  He opened his eyes and looked at her. He smiled. “Be open to Him now, Cait. I don’t feel like you’re really ready to receive Him yet, but I believe you will be. I’ll ask you about it again before I go, if that’s all right.”

  She looked at him quizzically. He was an interesting man. “All right. I do feel a peace.” she admitted slowly.

  He put an arm around her again, and smiled down into her eyes. “That’s good. You could use some peace.” he agreed. “So, tell me about James.” he said amiably.

  “I felt so terrible about that. It was just a look, David.” she explained. “I was so tired, and he came in my room with my trunks, and I’d just gotten there, and everything. And it was so soon after Skyler, you know. It just gave me a start. I’ve had my share of insolent looks, it was just the timing. And he was there, in my room, and you were gone, so it was terribly frightening. I haven’t even seen him since.”

  “Good.” David snapped.

  “What did you say to him?” she asked in a small voice.

  “Not a thing. The way to a man’s understanding is through his good wife. I just called the house when I knew Jana would be there, and we chatted. She’s a great gossip, so I let her know what close friends you and I are. James no doubt understands that you’re highly esteemed, now. I’m quite certain that he will keep his eyes in his head and respectfully averted, from now on.”

  She blushed. “David, I don’t understand men. Why must they do these things?” she railed. “You don’t do them. Why do some men never learn to be gentlemen, and others are … like you?”

  He laughed, and pulled her into a hug. It felt strange now to have his arms around her, to feel his warm chest against her cheek. She remembered a time when it had brought her comfort, but he’d been away for several weeks. Now, it was embarrassing. Still, he held her.

  “Come, now, love. You’ve got to understand this one.” he chided. “Men notice. All of us. It’s the way we’re made. We can’t help but see, and be a bit undone by beauty. It’s just that some of us learn not to let it show, much less be caught at it. Some of us don’t care enough to hide it. But we wouldn’t be male if we didn’t see the loveliness of a woman.”

  She blushed brilliantly, and hid her face against his shoulder.

  “You know, Cait, it’s not a bad thing to be so beautiful.” he said against her ear. “It’s a wonderful attribute. It just makes some men do things they shouldn’t do. But, you’re safe here. No one is going to bother you. No one is going to harm you, darling. Give it a little time, and you’ll be fine again.” he predicted.

  Caitlin’s heart was pounding. He’d called her ‘love’. And ‘darling’. He was holding her close. His voice was so kind and gentle, that she felt tears lumping in her throat. He felt them sliding and soaking into his shirt, and smiled down at her. It was good for her to cry.

  He held her insistently, rocking her in his arms, and felt her crumbling. Tears began to fall steadily, and David stroked her head. He kissed her temple, and held her tightly. “Let it all go, darling. It’ll help you put it behind you.” he advised softly.

  And Caitlin did cry. The grief poured out from a seemingly endless pit of misery, hidden deep inside her. David could tell that it went far beyond Skyler and Connie. That had just been the final blow.

  She was mourning the loss of her parents. The years of feeling simply tolerated by her uncle’s wife. Years of loneliness and uncertainty. Little love, little guidance. William had cared about her, but was not demonstrative, having no children of his own. Not as a father would care for his child. David understood that she had been feeling very alone for many, long years.

  “David, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” she whispered when the sobs subsided.

  “There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.” he assured her. “You’re just beginning the healing. Caitlin, you’ve got a home for as long as you want it, and you’ve got me. I'm never more than a phone call away.”

  She puzzled his words. Was she reading too much into what he was saying?

  “I’ll always be here for you, Cait.” he promised against her ear.

  “David, you can’t promise that.” she objected quickly.

  “Why not?” he challenged with a teasing smile.

  She shook her head. “You have no reason to be so devoted to me.” she argued in a strained voice.

  “How do you know?” he challenged lightly. “You don’t know the half of what’s in my heart.”

  She looked up at him, and wondered. And worried. And wavered. “David, you’re very sweet. You’re too good to me.” she whispered lamely.

  His eyes darkened at her words, and then suddenly his face went blank. The intense look was gone. He met her incredulous gaze with teasing eyes. “You don’t know me so well. Wait until you find out what I’m really like, before you go throwing accusations like that at me.” he said with a grin.

&nbs
p; He captured her hand in his warmly, and they resumed their leisurely walk.

  She felt a shyness envelop her at the feel of her hand in his. When he would look at her, the expression in his eyes would cause her heart to leap and flutter. Yet he said nothing, did nothing untoward.

  He turned the conversation toward the tour, and told her stories that made her laugh. Before long, they had returned to the house, and Caitlin found that she was sorry. She had very much enjoyed her time with David.

  He sighed and rubbed his eyes. “I have business that I have to attend to. I really don’t want to.” he complained tiredly.

  “David, must you? You’re so tired.” she soothed. She stepped closer, and put a worried palm against his cheek.

  He looked down at her with a puzzled expression on his face, and laced his fingers behind her back. “If I don’t, it will continue to stack up.” he explained.

  “Well, I suppose that’s true. David, thank you for the walk.” she said lightly. “You are so kind to me.”

  “Kind?” he snorted incredulously. “Because I insisted on stealing you away to be alone? Hardly.” he denied lightly.

  She smiled uncertainly, not sure what he meant. “Well, I’ll see you later.” she said softly. She kissed his cheek, smiled at him, and went upstairs to her room.

  David watched her exit with amused affection. Then, he went to his office to check his mail. He stayed there through lunch, and then elected to take a long nap. Caitlin decided to do the same.

  As she lay on her bed, though, she didn’t sleep. She found herself thinking about David, and pondering the time she’d spent with him.

  She was beginning to feel a deep stirring of emotion whenever he touched her. It was like a nervous, fluttering excitement. Her excitement intensified as she remembered how it felt to have his arms around her, his lips against her temple.

  “Stop it!” she hissed to herself. “Stop it, now. He’s just comforting you, he’s not being romantic. Don’t be a fool! Get a grip, he’s just a friend. You know this. If he were interested in you like that, he’d have shown it long ago!”