I Belong To Her

by Ava Danielle

  I BELONG TO HER

  By

  Ava Danielle

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author or publisher.

  Cover design: Jeanie’s Jewels

  https://www.facebook.com/jeaniesjewels

  Cover Photos: Dollar Photo Club

  Formatting: Brenda Wright

  https://www.facebook.com/FormattingDoneWright

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Chapter 53

  Chapter 54

  Chapter 55

  Chapter 56

  Chapter 57

  Chapter 58

  Chapter 59

  Chapter 60

  Chapter 61

  Chapter 62

  Chapter 63

  Chapter 64

  Chapter 65

  Songs

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  To any and every one that ever believed in me!

  High school Dance

  I’m here. Where is Addison? I go to the buffet to get me something to drink. I sure as hell hope the punch is spiked. I need some alcohol to boost my confidence. I grab me a donut and sit down at the table with Ryan. We bullshit a bit when I see Addison leave the dance floor to go to the buffet. This is my chance.

  I walk up to the buffet as well, pretending to look for something to eat. “Having fun?” she asks me. I look at her, “If you’ll dance with me, then I’ll be having fun.” I say. She smiles, “All right, let’s go,” and drags me to the dance floor. Holy Shit. This girl just took charge. We goof around to the song, ‘Lovefool’ by the Cardigans. That’s the thing with us, it’s always easy to be silly around her.

  I take her hand and spin her around the floor, she’s giggling. I push her into me, showing her that I can be demanding. This is a side of me she hasn’t seen. But judging by her reaction, she likes it. She puts her hands around my neck and moves her hips to the music against me. “Shake what you got, Addison.” I say to her. She throws her head back, embarrassed, but laughing. “I need something to drink, I’m running out of breath,” she says. “Let’s go,” I say, as I pull her, not letting her hand go. She’s staring at her hand in mine. But she’s also not letting go either. This feels so right. I smile at her, and she smiles back. We’re frozen in time. I want to kiss her so badly, but this wouldn’t be the right time or place, especially not for the first kiss.

  “Will you come outside with me? I need some fresh air.” she asks me. “Of course.” I grab her hand as we walk out of the school gym.

  We make it out to the courtyard of the school. There’s an empty bench; we both sit down. She’s crossing her legs. I pull my black leather jacket off and put it over her shoulder. “It’s a little chilly,” I tell her. She’s smiling at me. “Thank you. Why are you always so nice to me?” she asks me. Debating on how to answer this. “Addison, you haven’t figured that out?” She shakes her head. I decide to let my lips do the speaking.

  I lean in, and kiss her. I kiss her lips, softly, gently. She’s not moving away from me, she’s enjoying this. She’s kissing me back. Her lips are so tender. I don’t ever want to stop kissing her.

  The Past

  I’m holding Addison’s hand as she is screaming. “Push Mrs. Walker, push,” the nurse tells her. She squeezes my hand hard, I think I may have lost circulation. She’s struggling with the birth of our first-born. As I watch her push, scream, and squeeze, I remember our story.

  Our story began after the dance. We became inseparable after that dance. We graduated together. We found a cute little apartment, which of course I let her decorate. We both went to Harvard with the support from our parents. We got married our sophomore year, when Addison got pregnant. Old school as she is, she wanted to be married before the baby gets here. I was ok with that. I love this girl, no way was I ever leaving her, so it didn’t matter to me when we got married.

  She’s squeezing my hand screaming at me, “Are you even listening to me?” as I laugh at her. “Yes, baby. Do what the doctor says.” I reassure her. “Fuck you. That’s not what I said. This is your entire fault. This pain is your entire fucking fault.” I want to burst out laughing, but I understand. I apologize to her, but at this point, it doesn’t matter what I say.

  After what seems like a lifetime, I see our baby girl for the first time. Ten tiny little fingers, ten tiny little toes, head full of hair, and she’s absolutely gorgeous, just like her mother. She’s screaming, lungs like her mother as well. After the doctor dries her off and makes sure everything is ok, she hands her over to Addison, “here’s your baby girl,” and Addison’s smile lit up more than I’ve ever seen it. “Look Michael, our beautiful little girl, Violet,” she says. I think I may have a tear or two.

  Life was up and down from here on out. We had this baby screaming, we had our studies, we had bills that accumulated and no matter what, it seemed like we couldn’t keep up. That’s when Addison decided to drop out of school to be Mom and work at the nearby daycare. She loved every minute of being around our baby girl and all the other babies.

  Addison became pregnant not long after working there. We’re barely making ends meet with this one baby, having another baby not far after is going to be crazy. Addison though, Mrs. Positivity Sunshine, promised it will all work out. We’d get through it like we get through everything. She was excited about our little baby on the way. I was looking forward to having a little boy. One I could rough house with and not have Addison down my back ‘it’s a girl, Michael; don’t do that Michael; she’s too tender for that, Michael’ I definitely could use a boy.

  By the 4th ultrasound the doctor surprised us, another girl. Well, at least we’ll already have all the clothes for it. It’s another year of pink onesies and pushing that pink fucking stroller.

  Cheyenne was born, Violet was walking, and my hai
r was getting grayer. I finished school, I pushed myself to be able to find us a good job and be able to provide for my family. We moved back to Middletown, Connecticut to be around our families and friends.

  Once settled into life, I started running an architect company nearby. It meant lots of hours, and lots of work. Addison and I would fight a great deal; mainly because I was barely around for her and the girls. But when I was home, I made up for it as much as I could. I wanted her to remember she’s my number one, no matter what. And with that love, came baby number three. We were both so excited. Violet and Cheyenne were five and four, ready for a baby brother.

  Actually, the girls wanted another sister of course, but I wasn’t having that. “Daddy, Daddy, can we name her Sissy?” Cheyenne asks me. “No, honey, we’re going to name him Michael Jr.” I tell her. Addison was laughing in the background. “And what makes you so sure it’s going to be a boy? And when did we decide it would be Junior?” she asks me. “Because all boys take after their dad.” I tell her as I kiss her belly.

  Ultrasound number 3, it’s a Girl. I ask the doctor, I think, five times to double-check. “Sorry Mr. Walker, there is nothing hinting toward a boy,” he states pointing at the ultrasound. You’ve got to be kidding me. I’ll love her no matter what, but living with four women is going to give me nightmares. I joke around with Addison, “You girls are definitely in the majority right now, but we better get to work now to make sure the next one is a boy.” She laughs at me. “Michael, I don’t think that’s how it works. We can try, but we won’t be having a bunch of kids until you finally get your boy. After this one, we’re done.”

  I start to pout. Is she serious? What dad doesn’t want a boy? “Fine” I say as she laughs at me.

  One Wife, Three Girls, and my growing Grey Hair

  The girls are squirmy. “Let’s go, daddy. Let’s go to the park.” I hear my youngest Emma beg. “Yes, honey, we’re going. Addi, babe, do you have all the bags?” I ask her. She’s screaming from the kitchen, “I’m coming. Got it all packed. Let’s go,” she’s full of enthusiasm.

  We’re spending the day at the park with the girls. Finally. I’ve been so busy with work, so busy with new contracts.

  I’ve opened my very own office. I’m CEO of Walker Architecture. Business has been great, but that means family life has been set back a bit. I can understand Addison being a bit frustrated with me, but she understands. She knows I love her and even if I don’t tell her or touch her how she wants, she knows.

  I bought Addison an Audi, she’s wanted one for years and with my own business, it was finally in the works.

  Addison has been volunteering at the school our kids go to for many years now; she’s been doing all the things a perfect mom does. She’s caring to our girls and she supports them in anything they do. Violet is involved in anything school related, that requires Addison to drive almost everywhere at anytime.

  Our girls are doing great academically. I’m proud of them all, especially Addison for not losing her cool and most definitely for putting her own dreams on hold until we raised our girls. She’s full-time Mom. She’s pretty fucking amazing of a wife as well. I really need to make more time for her.

  What once was

  “I’m going to set up for the grand opening today, I’ll see you later,” Addison screams from the door. Before I could even get to her, I just yelled, “bye”. Things have been a little busy for me at the office; I’m wrapped up in a new city project that has consumed my every thought. I should probably take a step back, but I can’t.

  As I’m sitting here filling out forms and drawing up sketches, I remember our good times. The times we were less stressed. With Addison and Kristina opening up their own book/coffee shop, it’s going to be even busier. I am happy for her though, she’s finally able to fulfill her own dreams, and have her own career. The girls are old enough to take care of things on their own now, besides, Addison and Kristina have hired help for their store, the girls wouldn’t miss out. I’m glad my wife thinks of us, all of us.

  I make it to the grand opening. I look around the shop at everything she’s accomplished. I’m so proud of them two. They have outdone themselves. Emma and I read some books with the customer kids. I’m having a good time with them.

  As I see Addison at the bar, I see her talking to another man; it’s the way she’s talking to him that has me intrigued. She’s looking at him the way she once looked at me and it worries me. But I could just be reading too far into things. I make my way over to them when she introduces us. My hands are on her hands, letting this other man know she’s mine.

  “Let me introduce you to Benjamin’s dad, Brandon. Benjamin is in Emma’s class.” Addison tells me, we shake hands, “THE Benjamin?” I ask Addison.

  We talk about our daughters crush on Benjamin when Addison excuses herself leaving the two of us alone. “I bet you’re very proud of your wife,” as he points around the shop. “Yes, she’s outdone herself on this. It’s the first time I’ve seen it, they’ve been pretty secretive about it.” I tell him. He nods and excuses himself and he and his son leave the shop. I see him outside the shop playing on his phone. There’s something about him that rubs me the wrong way.

  Every day Addison is trying to talk to me about how our marriage has fallen into a rut. I explain to her that I’ve been swamped with work, I’m exhausted, and just not in the mood to deal with much when I get home. I do feel bad for not giving her the affection she’s longing for, but I’m too worn out, I can’t seem to get the energy. She may be right about the rut, but there’s nothing I can do about that. I love her, she knows it, and that’s it.

  Ryan and I decided to go camping. Finally a guy’s weekend, “Did you meet Brandon?” I ask Ryan as he’s pulling out parts of the tent to build, “Yeah, he seems cool.” he replies. “There’s something up with him, I can’t put my finger on it. The way Addison smiled at him really pissed me off.” I tell him as I start our campfire. “You’re just overreacting; he’s a customer, that’s all. Besides, he’s busy with his son; his wife left him a few years back for one of his employees, or something like that. Pretty sure he’s fed up with women,” Ryan says.

  In a way, he’s got a point, I’m reading into something that isn’t even there. Addison would never cheat on me. She’s not that type.

  Sunday Night, after we got back, Addison and I got into a big fight. She’s pretty much upset I’m spending more time at work or with Ryan, and not her or the girls. Whatever, if she can’t understand that I’m providing for us and that my career means something to me, then I can’t help her. She’ll just have to get over it. We’ve been married fifteen years; it’s nothing we hadn’t dealt with before. I treat her like I always have.

  A few weeks later, after she still hasn’t calmed down, she came over to talk to me. I was ready for the ‘tripping over fishing rods’ she was going to throw in my face. I was ready to hear her bitch about the socks not being in the hamper or the hair from shaving in the sink.

  “We need to talk, Michael,” she says as she’s putting up the last of the dishes. “About?” I ask her as I’m sitting on the couch finishing up my paperwork. “About us, about our marriage,” she says. What the fuck is she talking about? I know things are a bit all over the place and I’ve been preoccupied with the project, she better understand that.

  “If you don’t see it, then I don’t see how we can fix anything, or if there’s even a point.” She continues, “Don’t you see it? We don’t get intimate, we don’t speak but about the girls, we barely kiss good night anymore, do you not see that?” Of course I see it, but I haven’t put much thought into it. I thought she fucking understood my job.

  I laugh. What else can I do? “I don’t see why this is so funny to you,” she says, a little upset now. I get up; look out the window, trying to envision this project I’m working on, “I don’t know what you want me to say. I love you, I always loved you.” After my last sentence I know she will probably take that the wrong way. “What d
o you mean ‘loved’?” She emphasizes the word “loved” I knew she would. “I didn’t mean it like that,” I try to explain to her. Regardless, she’s still going off, “Well you said it like that,” she throws at me.

  “Is there someone else?” Did she really just ask me that? I’ve had no time for anyone else. Does she want me to have someone else? Fuck, is she trying to leave me and wants me to be the bad guy here? She’s funny. I’m pissed now. “Fuck no, there’s no one else. Is there for you?” Her expression says it all. There’s something there. She’s got the look in her eyes, the look she gets when she’s trying to come up with an excuse even though I already know the truth. Except, this time I don’t know the truth. “I think so,” she says softly. My mouth drops. I’m not even sure how to react to this. “What do you mean you think so?” I spit at her as she’s walking over to me. “I met him at the school one day, when I was helping out the PTA. We had coffee a few times.”

  I’m at a loss of words. It has to be that fucking Brandon guy. She told me she knows him from the school. I knew there was something off about that fucking douche. “What the hell, Addison?” I’m not sure what else to say. She’s not saying anything, just looking off into space. If she’s thinking about him I’m going to go ape shit. “ADDISON!” I yell at her. “I didn’t mean to,” she says looking down to the floor. I’m furious. “What the fuck you didn’t mean to? Is there more to this? Do you love the guy? Hell, who is this guy? Do I know him? Have you two fucked?” She’s not answering a single question I’m asking.

  She walks away and I lose my cool and punch the fucking wall next to me. I’m pissed. My wife, my wife of fifteen fucking years just told me she’s having an affair. She’s yelling at me, but I don’t fucking care. Storming out on the patio, I need fresh air. Rewind the last fifteen minutes, please. This is bullshit.

  I sit down in my rocking chair and think about everything she just threw at me. Her “I’m sorry” she can just stick it up her ass. I don’t need to hear that. I tell her to leave me alone.