Perfect Little Plan

by Jennifer Miller

  “Yee haw, darlin’.”

  I giggle but it quickly cuts off into a groan and a sigh as Rixton moves his hips. His hands are all over me. He rubs my breasts, circles my nipples and even runs his hands over my stomach. He grips my thighs and helps me get into a rhythm that works for both of us. “Giddy up,” I tease. He laughs then groans and I groan with him. I love feeling this way with him – the mixture of teasing and sexiness is a perfect combination for us. It makes me feel closer to him, it makes it more personal.

  It isn’t long before I’m so close to coming that all of my concentration centers to what’s happening between my legs. It’s almost a feeling close to madness, nothing else matters but chasing that feeling that’s just slightly eluding me. I lose my inhibitions, throw my head back, reach up and fondle my own breasts as I move on Rixton until I’m hitting my sweet spot over and over until it sends me right over the edge. I see stars as Rixton helps me ride out the feeling, prolonging it as long as possible. “Feel good, Red?” I nod and then collapse on his chest, words beyond me.

  “God, that felt so good. You feel so good.” His hands are restlessly trailing up and down my back and after he gives me a few more moments to recover, he flips me over. The hat which has miraculously stayed in place, tumbles off my head and lands on my face, but I hardly notice until Rixton chuckles and removes it and places it out of the way. He enters me again and begins moving slow and deep. I never want this feeling to end.

  Sighs and whispers of his name leave my lips as he lifts my hips up allowing him to penetrate deeper. He leans forward and places kisses on my mouth over and over. He whispers endearments, compliments, and promises, and when he reaches his last, his eyes lock with mine and it’s like a shade lifts and all his hidden emotions flood out, washing all over me. I read so much in his eyes. Happiness, affection, need, desire, and possibly… something more. It thrills me, scares me, and leaves me in awe. I’m afraid, on some level, to admit it to myself. Our fingers are entwined, his face buried in my neck, my name tumbling from his lips like a prayer and in that moment I know that this, what’s happening between us, is more than just one moment. More than just us taking it one day at a time. This is both of us silently hoping for much, much more.

  “I know this is cliché, but that was amazing,” I twirl my finger in circles along his spine.

  “I don’t think I will ever get enough of you.” He kisses my neck and turns his head to the side. I turn mine too and lock eyes with his and he leans forward and kisses my nose. I sigh happily and run my fingers through his hair, enjoying the aftermath. “What are you thinking?”

  “Rixton… I….”

  Before I can say anything else, his phone rings, startling us both. At first I think he’s going to ignore it, but then he slides away from me and off the bed looking for his pants to drag his phone out of his pocket. “Hello?”

  The look on his face goes from ‘I just had awesome sex,’ to concerned in a heartbeat. It makes me sit up, holding the sheet to my chest, waiting to hear what’s going on.

  “Is it bad? Okay. I understand. I will be there as soon as I can to help. I’m…” he stops and looks at me a moment, “with Pyper. Give me a chance to say goodbye and then I’ll head over. No. No. That’s not your concern. Bye.”

  “What was that all about?” I look at him with a mixture of concern and apprehension. “You have to leave?”

  “Yes. I’m really sorry, but I have to go.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I…” he stops and looks at me. Takes in my tousled hair, sheet covered breasts and walks to me and places a kiss on my lips. “I’m sorry. I wouldn’t leave if it weren’t important. Please believe me.”

  “Can you just tell me what’s going on? I hate this, Rixton. We just had…” I want to say we made love but is that right when we haven’t even said I love you? Ugh, there needs to be a manual for this shit. “We just had sex and your leaving right after doesn’t feel great.”

  God, I can’t believe I even admitted that. Who is this person I’m turning into? I’m Pyper Lexington. I’m not dependent on anyone. I should always have my game face on. I do my best to school my features and like the wind during a Chicago winter, I can feel the coolness washing over me. “You know what? Never mind. It’s fine. I have a busy day tomorrow anyway. It’s probably best that I sleep alone so I can get a full night’s sleep.”

  Rixton’s brow furrows and he grabs hold of my shoulders, “Don’t do that.”

  “Don’t do what?”

  “Don’t close yourself off to me and act like you don’t care that I’m leaving.”

  “Correct me if I’m wrong Rixton, but you are leaving, right?”

  “Yes. I’m sorry. I have to.”

  “Then don’t tell me how to feel or how I should act, okay? So you have to go, and you don’t want to tell me why – fine. That’s your choice. But acting like this is my choice. You don’t have to like it any more than I have to like yours, so deal with it.”

  “Pyper-”

  “Just go, Rixton.”

  He sighs and puts on the rest of his clothes and shoes. “Tomorrow night is dinner with your parents. I will be here so we can drive over together, okay?”

  “Okay.” He walks over to me, and stares into my eyes. Cupping the side of my face, he brushes his thumb across my lips before placing a kiss there, then whispers, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I nod my head and as he walks out my bedroom door, a lone tear falls down my cheek.

  WAKING UP ALONE AND REMEMBERING what happened the night before, makes me angry all over again the next morning. I’m not ashamed to admit, at least to myself, that I want him with me. I want him to want to be with me too. With a sigh, I drag my ass out of bed and get ready for work. I barely slept, the interaction with Rixton turning in my mind like a broken movie projector doomed to play the same part over, and over, and over. I rolled and tossed all night and now awake, with Olivia gone, the condo is so still and very quiet. There’s something to be said in the knowing that someone is physically present even if it’s in silence. But this silence is deafening. It only lends to thinking and I do not want to think any more.

  Feeling slightly better after downing a cup of coffee and scarfing a granola bar, I leave and head into work. It’s early, but I’m anxious to lose myself in my work and distract myself from thinking about Rixton’s disappearing act. Again.

  I know I told Rixton that he can explain all of this to me in his own time, but thoughts about what could be going on consume me. For the life of me, I can’t imagine what it is and when I do, thoughts so ridiculous enter my mind that I can’t decide if I’m more amused at my vivid imagination, or worried that I could be right. Drug dealer, loan shark, bookie, pimp, debt issues, all kinds of things have crossed my mind. None of which seem likely, but really, how the hell would I know?

  Telling myself that I understand why Rixton would choose not to tell me his secret is starting to fall flat. My mind is refusing to continue to be convinced of the reasoning – and so is my heart. The more intimate we get, not only physically but also emotionally and mentally, contradicts the reasons he gives for keeping quiet. How are we really going to continue to grow in our relationship if we keep secrets from one another? And if he can’t tell me, then why doesn’t he believe I can be trusted? Do we truly want the same things? Am I over thinking this? Asking too much too soon? Ugh. This all makes my brain ache.

  Unlocking the spa, I momentarily pause, realizing I hardly remember driving here. Not a good thing. I step in and lock the doors again behind me then immediately punch in the code to shut off the alarm when it starts its irritating beeping. The spa is just as silent as it is at home, but at least here I can quit brooding and lose myself in my work. Once in my office, I boot up my computer, then head to the thermostat to crank on the heat. The cooler Chicago weather has arrived and it won’t be long before we are knee deep in wind and snow. I shudder with the thought. As much as I love this city, sometimes thoughts of moving to a wa
rmer climate are very welcome.

  Rubbing my hands together, I dive into work and start paying outstanding invoices and updating our inventory. We also need to hire an additional esthetician and masseuse, so I get those ads placed. Various employees pop their heads in to say hello as they arrive and I greet them all kindly. I’m glad this place pretty much runs itself. I’ve been lucky to hire responsible people and an assistant manager that keeps things flowing smoothly.

  I jump when my phone begins ringing, sounding as loud as a gunshot in the quiet office. I laugh half heartedly at my reaction to the noise and glance at the screen. An uncomfortable feeling slices through my stomach when I see Rixton’s name. I don’t want to answer his call – not yet. I don’t feel like dealing with him or my feelings right now. I don’t even know what to say. I let the call go to voicemail and return to my computer, but my phone starts ringing again. I guess avoidance isn’t going to work after all.

  Sighing, I answer the call. “Hello?”

  “Hello. Is this Pyper?”

  My brow furrows and I feel confused. Why is there a woman on the other end of the line? I pull the phone away from my ear and look at the screen again confirming that it’s Rixton’s name that appears on my screen. “Yes. This is Pyper. Who’s this?” And then my heart stops, “Is something wrong? Is Rixton okay?”

  “Rixton is fine – I took his phone. My name is Joanna. I only have a minute before he comes back, but I needed to call you because I’d like to meet with you. As soon as possible.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m really confused. Who is this?”

  “I’m the woman you’ve seen with Rixton. I know you want to know who I am and I would like to meet with you to talk. I promise it won’t take long.”

  “And you said Rixton is okay? What is this about? I don’t get it. Why are you calling me and not Rixton?”

  “I promise I will explain when we meet. Can you meet me at Starbucks? The one right by your spa is fine.”

  My mind is racing. Who is this woman? How does she know who I am and where I work? Is it smart to even meet with her? Maybe I should talk to Rixton first, but then again, what is the harm of meeting her in a public place? She obviously has Rixton’s phone to call from, so that means she’s with him. She said he was coming right back. Jealousy and anger fills my heart when I remember him leaving me again after we made love, yes love dammit, last night. “Yes. I can meet you there. What time?”

  “Does half an hour work for you?”

  “Yes, that’s fine.”

  “Okay, see you then.”

  After hanging up the phone I sit and stare at it for several minutes, replaying the conversation in my mind. Apprehension and nervousness runs through my body. I have a bad feeling about this, but my desire for answers easily overshadows the feeling.

  The clock seems to move at a snail’s pace. I can’t stop checking the time repeatedly while my mind races about what is awaiting me. I try to dive back into work in order to make the time go faster, but I can’t concentrate. Marissa, one of my manicurists, pops in to ask a question about an order and admonishes me for biting my nails. “We need to get you scheduled for a manicure before you don’t have any nails left.”

  I sheepishly agree and transfer my nervousness to knee bouncing instead. When I have five minutes until the longest half hour in history is up, I leave the spa, get in my car and make my way to meet the mysterious Joanna. When I arrive, I nervously look around the room and find her already sitting with a drink in the corner. Giving her a brief nod in acknowledgment, I walk to the counter to order a drink of my own.

  “Hi, welcome to Starbucks. What can I get ya?”

  Why does that feel like such a loaded question? “A hot mocha please with a shot of espresso.”

  “You got it. And your name, please?”

  “Pyper.”

  “Okay it will be right up.”

  I smile and pay for my drink but my motions feel robotic. While I wait for them to prepare my drink, I make myself face forward when all I want to do is look at the lady in the corner to see if I can read her face and figure out what the hell is going on. I swear I can feel her stare on my back and my neck heats in response. I don’t know if I’ve been this uncomfortable since the time in high school, Jesse, a boy I liked told everyone he got to second base with me at his party. Boys would walk by and stare at my chest for weeks.

  Coffee in hand, I slowly approach Joanna’s table like an apprehensive wild animal. I feel like she’s laid some kind of trap and I’m walking right into it. The look she’s giving me is not kind, but I can tell she is trying to school her features to be expressionless, probably so I don’t turn around and run. Sitting down, I stay silent, waiting for her to tell me why she’s called me here.

  “Hello, Pyper. Thanks for coming so quickly.”

  Giving her a brief nod to acknowledge her hello, I cut right to the chase, “Why did you call me? Who are you?”

  “I’m the woman that’s going to give you some friendly advice. You may not like it, but you’ll thank me for it later.”

  My brow furrows at her words and I take a sip of my coffee, trying to soothe myself, but the knots in my stomach only get tighter. I don’t like the tone of her voice, her body language, or the look on her face. It’s all very unkind and something about her is rubbing me wrong. Maybe it’s the hint of anger I see and hear, I’m not sure. “Friendly advice?”

  “Yes. As I mentioned, I took Rixton’s phone to call you. He was in the restroom at the time and I just acted. I decided to take matters into my own hands because I think it’s way past time we meet.”

  How in the hell is it possible for a person’s stomach to drop so many times? I swallow, trying to loosen my tight throat and resist the urge to wipe the sheen of sweat I feel on my brow. “You and Rixton were together?”

  She smiles and it isn’t kind, “We are together all the time.”

  “All the time.” I repeat like an echo. “Okay, so who are you? Who are you to him?”

  “Look, some of this Rixton needs to explain himself. It isn’t my place to tell you everything.”

  I laugh without humor, “How convenient. You call me to give me advice, as you say, however the advice is going to have limitations. Whatever. I’m leaving. It was stupid of me to come here.”

  “Don’t be angry at me because Rixton hasn’t been honest with you.”

  That stops me in my tracks. “How would you know what Rixton has or hasn’t been honest with me about?”

  “I know that he hasn’t told you everything. At least not yet – maybe never.”

  “I’m aware. He told me that he would tell me when he’s ready, not that it is any of your damn business. It seems to me that all you’re trying to do is cause problems. It was stupid of me to come here.”

  I pick up my coffee and scoot my chair back in order to leave. She reaches a hand out and grabs my wrist. “Wait.” I stop moving and look at her. “Rixton has other obligations and priorities in his life right now. All you are doing is keeping him from them. Not to mention, getting in the way of what is really important.”

  “Oh, and I suppose that’s you?”

  “In a roundabout way, yes. Look, all I’m trying to do is save you some heartache and pain because the truth is, you aren’t the priority. If you haven’t realized that, you will soon, trust me.”

  Fury washes over me like lava – it’s slow, steady and thick and it’s burning everything in its path. My mind, my heart, my stomach… I feel sick. “Your trying to save me heartache and pain is a joke. You don’t know shit about me, or about Rixton, or about us together.”

  “I know more than you think. I also know that Rixton has more important things in his life that he needs to deal with, and like it or not, I’m part of that and am not going away. The last thing he should be doing right now is worrying about some girl he basically just met that has grabbed his attention. For now.”

  This time I really am done. Standing, I push back my chair and start m
aking my way to the door. Joanna calls out to me, “You should be thanking me, not being a bitch. I’m just trying to help.”

  Stopping, I turn around and look at her and do a very unladylike thing. I give her the finger. “Fuck you.”

  Turning on my heel, I stalk to my car and immediately pull my phone from my purse intending to call Olivia. I could use my best friend’s advice and comfort, but just as I start call, I change my mind. Olivia has enough going on herself, but more importantly I can and must figure this out on my own. I’m an adult, I can handle this myself. For the time being, I refuse to give in to the emotions suffocating me, and drive back to the spa to bury myself in work once more. I want to call Rixton but if I do, I’ll be hysterical. I just want to get through dinner tonight with my parents, and then I will ask him afterwards what the hell is going on. It’s time he gives me some answers, like it or not.

  I THINK I’VE OFFICIALLY LOST MY MIND. Taking Rixton to meet my parents is a bad idea. I’m still furious over my meeting this morning with Joanna and the thought of exposing Rixton to my parents is terrifying. I’ve never been embarrassed of my parents before, I mean they are who they are, but I just have a bad feeling about this. Especially since my father already has a negative impression of Rixton, given his limited knowledge based on one incident – albeit a huge one; interfering with my date with R.J. But once he has an opinion of someone, his mind is hard to change.

  Besides, don’t people my age usually wait to introduce the guy they are with when they are like engaged or something? Or in a committed relationship? I mean, I may know that being with Rixton is what I want, but I have yet to even tell him that. And we certainly have not made any commitments to each other. Yet. Did I just say that?