Irresistible Fear

by A. Meredith Walters

  Emily had unknowingly stretched her hand out toward Lilith. She snatched it back, scared of what would do Lilith.

  “I vowed to destroy them. To destroy them all. Adam was given another woman. She was made from him this time and not made his equal.” Lilith laughed again, harshly. “I’m sure he was much happier with that. Bastard.” Lilith started and looked at Emily, realizing who her audience was.

  The smile she gave Emily was haunted and truly scary. “And now you’ve destroyed the one thing that I value. You’ve taken my son. My best. I can’t forgive that.” She was so matter a fact and she touched Emily’s hair, almost gently.

  “You understand of course. It has become very personal. I hate you. With everything in me. I want you dead. And dead you will be when I’m done with you.” It was as if Lilith told a witty joke. The shadows seemed to twitter and the demon boy smiled a scary sort of grin.

  “Rameel, leave us. I don’t need an audience. This must be done in private.” Lilith licked her lips in anticipation. Rameel bowed his head in supplication and left. The shadows melted away, leaving Emily feeling isolated and completely vulnerable. Emily’s heart started beating at a panicked rate. She was now completely alone, with Lilith. And she was more scared than she could ever remember being.

  “You’re afraid. Smart girl. I had hoped that your death could have benefited son. But now that he is gone, I guess it will only have to serve as a benefit to me.” Lilith stood up and flicked her hair behind her, a human gesture.

  Emily was frozen, unable to move. She tasted her fear, a metallic taste in the back of her throat. Would Lilith torture her? Or simply leave it at killing her? Seeing the blood thirst in Lilith’s eyes, she doubted it would be quick.

  “You’re right my dear. I want it slow. I want to enjoy this.” Emily started at Lilith’s words, realizing that the demon could read her thoughts. “Only one of my many talents.” Lilith moved around the room, snapping her fingers, flames leaping from her finger tips and lighting various candles placed sporadically throughout the chamber.

  “Let me set the mood a bit.” Emily bit her lip. Lilith was taunting her, enjoying the escalating terror that threatened to suffocate her. “A little music perhaps?” Lilith asked her. Emily didn’t move, couldn’t take her eyes away from the beautiful yet lethal woman.

  Lilith chuckled. “A little much?’ She nodded to herself. “Yes, don’t want to overdo it.” Finally Lilith returned to her seat. She reached over and brushed Emily’s hair out of her eyes. It was such a gentle gesture. And the light touch made her lean forward. Lilith smirked, aware of the effect her caress had. She was living and breathing sensuality and she was using it to its maximum affect.

  Why was she dragging this out? Emily wished she would just get it over with. “All in due time of course.” Lilith whispered, leaning forward, placing her lips to Emily’s neck. “Mmm. You do taste nice.” Emily was sickened by her physical response. This was so horribly wrong.

  Lilith snickered and leaned away. “I do like to play a little before I eat.” Emily’s mind exploded with images of Tavin. The way he held her and kissed her, his face as he told her he loved her. These images comforted her and she clung to them.

  Lilith’s face contorted with rage. She was clearly seeing Emily’s memories and they infuriated her. “He is mine, Emily! He always will be! He doesn’t belong to you!” Her voice shook with her fury.

  Emily’s back straightened and she felt a strength that she had almost forgotten about. “Belongs to you? Really? This isn't some backwoods incest tragedy. It's not like he's your boyfriend or something, he's your son. Do you have empty nest syndrome?” Emily was proud of her sarcasm. She felt some marginal control over this very out of control situation by refusing to let Lilith see her fear.

  Lilith growled. She literally growled. A deep guttural noise that came from the back of her throat. Emily tried not to shiver. “No need to be so disrespectful Emily.” Lilith spat her name as if it were a curse. Emily looked the ancient demon straight in the eye. “You are so jealous Lilith. Of me...a human. Because you can't control Tavin, the way you control everything else. Because he chose me and not you...he and I chose each other a long time ago and nothing you can do to me will ever change that. Because he hates you...loathes you...and that hurts, doesn't it?” Emily watched as Lilith's eyes froze with a truth that even she couldn't deny. Leaning forward until she was only an inch from the other woman's face and then said the words that she knew would be the nail in her coffin. But she said them anyway.

  “Maybe you and I aren't so different after all.” She whispered. Then the fury erupted.

  The sound that came from the demon was horrid. She opened her mouth and let loose such a scream that Emily thought she would die from the noise alone. She felt as if her head would explode.

  Lilith lunged for her and her hands circled Emily’s neck, cutting off her air supply. “You stupid, stupid bitch!” She yelled into Emily’s face. Emily didn’t even flinch. She was done showing any weakness. She was through with being Lilith’s victim. And her visible defiance enraged Lilith even more.

  Lilith’s fingers released their hold and deliberately made contact with Emily’s chest. “This will hurt. A lot.” Lilith snarled. Her face contorted with her anger. The beauty erased by her demonic rage. Emily didn’t lose eye contact; didn’t respond to the demon’s words.

  Lilith’s fingers felt like hot pokers on her chest and then it began. The pain. It felt as if her insides were being sucked out. She didn’t know how someone could experience this kind of pain and live. But that was the point…that she wouldn’t survive. And then it went dark.

  Chapter 42

  He knew Emily was there. The second Tavin had arrived at Lilith's home he was aware of her presence. He could feel her, smell her, taste her. The bond he had with Emily vibrated now that they were so close to one another. And because of that bond he knew she was in serious trouble. Her terror had been building for some time and now he felt his insides knot with its intensity.

  And of course it fed him, making him stronger.

  Tavin had been able to get out of the Abyss; with help he never thought he would accept. Rameel and his brothers had left him alone, thinking him useless and beyond a fight after the physical pummeling he had endured. Idiots! As if that could ever keep him down for long. It was in those few moments alone that they had come to him.

  “I knew it was only a matter of time. Nice to know you aren't completely stupid.” Sanvi sneered, looking around at the demons who were becoming aware of the intruders in their midst.

  “We have time for the 'I was right' game later. Right now, get me the hell out of here.” Tavin barked, feeling the tingle of imminent battle. The other two angels began to glow with a blinding light and the world around him erupted in screams. Tavin watched as his brothers, his kin, were savagely attacked by their enemy. The enemy he had invited in.

  He would not feel guilt for that. This was his only choice if he wanted to save Emily.

  Tavin felt the cold smile spread crossed his face as he remembered the shock and surprise on Maloc's face as Tavin latched his mouth to his neck and sucked him dry. “You will be destroyed for this.” Maloc's voice rasped as he fell to the ground. “Not if I destroy everything else first.” Tavin whispered back. Maloc's drying husk withered away until it was nothing but a stain on the ground.

  “There's no going back now...you realize that don't you Masteema?” One of the other angels had asked him. Tavin couldn't remember which one it was that had spoken to him. His memories of that brief but violent event blurred and murky in his mind. He remembered answering, “There was never any going back.” The angel had nodded, seeming pleased with Tavin's answer and had continued the assault against the Incubi.

  This continued for what felt like hours. Tavin's hands had been coated in demon blood and the air was thick with the smell of carnage. The angels had reveled in the brutality. Sanvi's battle cry was frightening and Tavin had realized that h
e wasn't sure he could ever have defeated this angel in a fight.

  After the dust and blood had settled, the angels were immensely pleased with themselves. “Nice job Masteema. You are a worthy ally.” Sanvi had patted his back and Tavin winced.

  “I need to go.” Tavin stated, his need to find Emily outweighing anything else. Sanvi and the other angels had nodded, understanding what needed to be done. “Then go, but remember our deal.” Tavin met the angel's eyes. He knew that he needed to save Emily to be Redeemed. Then his life would belong to them.

  So, he left the Abyss. Finally free of that horrible place that had become a prison. First going to the mortal plane in hopes of finding Emily, but finding that she wasn't there. He could feel her presence, but it was beyond where he could reach her in her dreams.

  His next impulse was to find Lilith, to finish this ancient and sordid soap opera once and for all. The second he had arrived however, he could feel Emily there. And that scared him. Why would she be here? How did she get there?

  Then the fear started and he knew instantly what was happening. Lilith had Emily and she was killing her. He was filled with the blackest anger he had ever felt. It lite the fire inside of him and brimming with his unbelievable power, he made his way toward Lilith's residence.

  Each step feeding the pit of rage that coiled inside of him. He could think of only one thing, Lilith's death. He would end it all now...forever. She could not be allowed to continue torturing them. He wanted his own life, free of any tie to his mother.

  So he had walked through the gates and was immediately assaulted by a legion of his brothers. Word had traveled fast apparently. Tavin laughed as he dispatched each and every one of them. He should feel something at doing this. Guilt? Repentance maybe? These were his brethren after all. He had been conditioned to think this as the worst form of blasphemy.

  But then Emily's fright hit him again and all other thoughts were ripped away.

  He was inside. Just steps away from the room where he knew Lilith kept Emily. Where Lilith was killing Emily. Fingers reached out of the dark and grabbed the back of his neck, at his power center. The digits digging into the soft flesh, making it hard to move. “Don't be too quick to interrupt brother.” A voice hissed in his ear.

  Rameel? So, this is where he had gone to. To their mother. He wasn't at all surprised. What did surprise him was the fact that Rameel was able to escape both he and the angels. His demon brother smirked at the obvious questions on Tavin's face. “You think you're the only one with power Masteema? There's a lot that you don't know. A lot that has changed.” Rameel moved his mouth closer to the back of Tavin's neck.

  Tavin was paralyzed by Rameel's grip. Where did he learn to do this?

  But then there was a scream. Tavin heard it not only through his ears but from his very core. And that was all he needed. Pulling his arms back he twisted and locked Rameel in a death grip, his forearm pressing down on the other demon's throat. Tavin brought Rameel to the floor, his knee digging into his chest.

  The shadows of the place weaved and slithered around them, feeding off of the violence. Tavin reared back, ready to finish Rameel once and for all when he was stopped short by his brother's choked laugh.

  Looking down into Rameel's red eyes, he didn't see fear or anger. All he saw was a grim satisfaction. “Do it Masteema.” Rameel said, his voice harsh with the pressure Tavin was putting against his throat. Tavin pressed harder. Rameel coughed but continued to laugh.

  “Because the longer you're here with me, the farther your human drifts away. She's probably almost dead by now.” Tavin froze at his words. He had been so consumed by his hatred for his brother that he had momentarily forgotten his purpose...forgotten Emily.

  Reaching through the bond he realized that Rameel was right. Her soul was weak. He didn’t have much time.

  He jumped up and began running the last few feet toward the closed door that led to Lilith's inner chamber. “You'll never save her Masteema. You're too late.” Rameel's words taunted him.

  Then Tavin did something that he never would have dared to have done before. Something that was so completely out of the realm of possibility for a demon that it reeked of blasphemy.

  He prayed. He prayed to anything and everything that would listen.

  Chapter 43

  At some point Emily had fallen to the floor, with Lilith leaning over her, eyes intent in their purpose. She lay flat on her back, her eyes focused on the marbled ceiling. Everything was becoming fuzzy around the edges and she couldn’t feel her body anymore.

  Emily knew that this was it. She wouldn’t be escaping this time. Emily felt a warring inside her. Why had she risked so much to come here? She hadn’t even found Tavin. Essentially, she had put her life on the line for, what? A fleeting idea that she, a silly human, could have any impact on the heavens, on this ancient battle of good and evil.

  As soon as the thought appeared, she pushed it away. Emily knew she would never have been able to live with herself had she not at least tried. Tried to save him, to see him one more time, at whatever the cost. Because Emily Hilbright was not one to give up...ever.

  She had been raised with strength and conviction by the most amazing woman. Her Nan would have expected nothing less then her dogged determination to save the person she loved. Even as Lilith’s hands burned through her skin, ripped her soul out of her by the demon’s fingers, she felt a smile on her face.

  Lilith’s eyes flashed and filled with a scary anger. Emily knew she was pissing off the female demon. Lilith wanted to see Emily’s pain and suffering. And it hurt, more than anything she could ever imagine. The pain washed through her body in waves and she was dangerously close to blacking out. But she’d be damned if she’d let that bitch see it.

  No, she smiled. She grinned and maintained eye contact with those vicious violet eyes.

  Lilith dug her fingers deeper, piercing her skin, into the muscle. They were like brands and Emily couldn’t help but gasp. She saw Lilith’s satisfication at her response. Emily’s death was slow and she knew Lilith was planning on dragging this out for as long as possible.

  Emily had always heard that at your moment of death, one’s entire life would pass before their eyes. A systematic slideshow of the most important moments. It was true. Emily’s sight became fuzzy and even in this dream world, this place of intangibility, she felt death grip her in its iron clad grasp.

  And she saw it, she saw it all. Her fifth birthday when her dad bought her her first bike. Emily remembered his dearly loved face, always covered in stubble. His slightly frazzled hair and far away expression. When Emily thought of him now, she wasn’t eaten with resentment and anger. No, instead she only felt an unending love for the father she had known.

  There were other memories, of eating mint chocolate chip ice cream with her Nan on the pier by Nanny’s house. Of her first ride on a roller coaster with her mother, during one of her ‘good’ periods. Of playing with Jeremy at recess when they were nine.

  And Sasha, laughing with Sasha, gossiping, giving each other manicures while watching Dirty Dancing for the millionth time. Every small and seemingly insignificant event in her life took on new meaning and filled her with an endless light.

  Emily had spent so much of her life filled with anger, resentment, shame. She knew she had played the victim role well. And in these last minutes, she forgot all of that and was able to see the depth of love and caring she had truly experienced.

  She was very lucky and she felt a twinge of regret at not allowing herself to appreciate the gifts she had.

  These memories shifted in and out of her mind, quickly and clearly. Then she saw him. The first time she sensed his presence in her mind, a hot wind, a waft of cinnamon, eyes of piercing blue, staring at her from the darkest recesses of her dreams. Her chest ached with the love she felt for him.

  Not for the first time did she realize how much Tavin had truly given her in the short amount of time they had been together. She couldn’t feel anythin
g but gratitude at having the opportunity to know and be loved by Tavin. Despite the fact that essentially she was in this position because of who and what he was, she couldn’t be upset about that.

  Maybe she had finally lost her mind completely, because her memories and feelings about Tavin were anything but rational. But he had opened her heart, which she had thought was locked away forever. He hadn’t just unlocked her heart, he had laid her vulnerabilities bare, taking down every wall.

  She was so closed off and emotionally numb that relationships were almost impossible for her. But Tavin had laid her open and forced her to face the truth of who she was as a person. And ultimately changed her.

  Emily could feel the fundamental difference in who she was. Being able to feel so deeply changes a person and Emily knew it had altered her completely.

  “Stop smiling, you idiot! I’m killing you!” Lilth screetched into her face. Her demeonar was crazed and Emily knew she should be terrified of her, but she was so lost in her recollections of her time with Tavin that she couldn’t summon the feeling. This was perhaps a gift in a way. This time to remember with bitter clarity, the one thing she loved the most.

  “You stupid human! You think it hurts now, you just wait. I’ll make you beg for me to stop.” Lilith’s voice was painful and Emily knew she flinched a little, but mostly she laid there, staring at the dark ceiling, removing herself; floating free.

  And just when she didn’t know if she could take anymore, she was dropped to the floor. The red hot fingers left her skin and she felt the cold stone beneath her. Emily couldn’t move, not even a finger. She could do no more than continue to lay there, staring at the ceiling.

  But she could hear. She heard Lilith scream. A primal and animalistic sound. “No!” She screamed over and over until it became Emily’s entire focus. She tried to move her head, to roll over, to know what the next attack would be. But she was paralyzed, stuck to this cold floor.