Irresistible Fear

by A. Meredith Walters

  The screams continued; deafening and horrible. Emily heard a loud boom and suddenly the ceiling began to rain down on her. She was hit with stone and rubble. Emily tried to shield her face, but found she had no energy to do much more than close her eyes against the torrent of debris.

  Emily recognized that she had shut down, going some place inside of her where she could feel safe. Everything then began to move in slow motion. Emily could have sworn she felt hands grab her, strong and familiar hands. Then she was being quickly carried.

  Emily couldn’t open her eyes, couldn’t move. Even inside her safe place she knew she was being cradled carefully against a hard chest. She should probably be fearful, not knowing where she was going, but she was beyond caring.

  Finally, the world stopped moving and she found that she had been laid down on a thick blanket. Emily continued to lay there, still feeling someone’s presence with her. She cringed inwardly, waiting for the attack, for the final piece of torture that would end it all.

  She felt the hands touch her. One hand in the middle of her chest, the other flat against her forehead. Emily sank deeper inside herself, waiting. She anticipated the pain again, but was surprised when it didn’t come.

  Instead she felt a pleasurable warmth. The fingers on her chest seemed to melt into her skin and a string of heat passed from those fingers, deep into her core. The hand on her forehead squeezed slightly and Emily felt her head clear, her energy restored.

  She finally opened her eyes and her heart leapt into her throat.

  He had found her! He had come back! Emily felt tears prick her eyes and they spilled out of the corners. Tavin wiped them away tenderly.

  “Tavin.” She whispered, her voice gone. Emily blinked, almost unwilling to believe the miracle of seeing him. She struggled to sit up, pushing up on her elbows.

  “Take it easy Emily. You’re very weak.” Hearing his voice was like taking a cool drink of water on a hot day. His face was so gentle and he carefully cupped her face in his hands. “I can’t believe I almost lost you.” His voice was rough, as if he had been yelling.

  “I don’t understand. How are you here?” Emily cradled his face as well and they sat like that for an endless moment, touching each other, each afraid the other would disappear.

  Tavin smiled; his quirky, sardonic grin. “There’s nothing quite like the element of surprise.” Emily made a choking noise and moved her mouth to his. Her lips melded to his as if they were fated to spend eternity like this. Tavin’s arms went around her and he crushed her to him with amazing strength.

  Emily kissed him with the desperate passion she had bottled up since he had left. She felt as if she were truly home. Behind her eyelids, she became aware of bright light. It was so bright that it hurt her closed eyes.

  She squinted, opening her eyes marginally. The light came from Tavin. His eyes were still closed, his face close to hers. And he was glowing. Tavin was glowing. A beautiful white light engulfed him and his beloved features shown with a perfect brilliance.

  “Tavin.” She gasped, staring at him in wonder. Tavin opened his eyes, startled at the interruption. He frowned, not knowing why she pulled away. Then a dawning realization transformed his face. He looked down at his hands glowing in that beautiful light. “What’s going on?” She asked him, watching him as he inspected himself carefully, a look of pure joy replacing his confusion.

  “I can't believe it.” He whispered, awe in his voice. “What is it? Is everything okay?” Emily asked him. For a moment she was scared again. She was extremely confused and the almost eerie glow was disconcerting.

  But then she watched Tavin's face as it became even more radiant in his happiness and she realized she had nothing to fear by what was happening to him. Whatever it was, was something spectacular.

  Tavin pulled her to him again and held her. His chest rose and fell quickly and his arms were shaking with fine tremors. “Tavin. Tell me. What is happening to you?” She asked him again, though not pulling away.

  Tavin looked down at her. Emily gasped. His eyes had become even more brilliant. She didn't think that was possible. But staring up at him, she was stunned and breathless by the change in him. He was different. Fundamentally so.

  Tavin smiled, a beatific smile full of hope and wonder. “Emily.” He said softly. Emily stared at him as he sat up straight, putting his shoulders back. Behind him unfurled the most amazing set of wings she had ever seen. They were a blinding white tinged in an almost glistening silver.

  “Tavin...you have...wings.” She gasped. Tavin took a deep breath and kissed her again. “I know...I just never believed it would happen.” Emily shook him slightly, wanting a straight answer. “Tell me what's going on Tavin!” She said desperately.

  Tavin closed his eyes. “I've been Redeemed.”

  Chapter 44

  “Re- what?” Emily asked in bewilderment. What the heck was he talking about? Tavin opened his mouth when a loud splitting noise interrupted them. They both jumped up. Emily saw the wall in front of her crumble and fall to the floor. Tavin threw her behind him, shielding her from whatever waited for them behind it. Emily couldn't resist, even in that situation, reaching out and touching the luminescent feathers that now protruded from Tavin's back.

  She smoothed her fingers along their edges and sighed at the texture. It was indescribable. They felt alive like electricity coursed through them. Emily pulled her hand away, not sure what to make of all of this.

  Emily tried to peak over Tavin's shoulder, to see what this new threat was but he blocked her sight. Then his body went rigid and Emily pushed from behind him to stand by his side. ''Get back Emily.” Tavin growled. Emily looked up at her once demon now apparently angel boyfriend and frowned. “Um I don't think so. We do this together, alright.” Tavin's eyebrows shot up at her tone but he couldn't hide the smile that played around his lips.

  Then his attention was drawn back to a new presence in the room. The light that radiated from Tavin was eclipsed by an even greater brilliance. Standing before them were three of the most beautiful beings Emily had ever seen.

  She couldn’t tell if they were male or female, their beauty seemed to transcend gender. And it really didn’t matter. They wore fierce expressions and aside from their magnificent beauty, they were actually kind of scary.

  The massive expanse of wings that billowed behind each of them, gave their identities away pretty quickly. Wings that looked a lot like the ones that now sprouted from Tavin's back. These were angels.

  “Ah, Mesteema. Welcome to the brotherhood. I knew we could count on you.” The angel in front stated in what could only be described as childish glee. He, for he was definitely male, actually clapped his hands together. Emily was more than a little shocked by his less than angelic actions.

  Tavin only nodded, otherwise ignoring his comment. The angel was obviously not deterred by Tavin’s lack of response. “So how did you do it? Do tell! That I'm sure is one hell of a story, pardon the pun.” He chuckled at his very bad joke.

  What was this angel's deal anyway? Emily watched Tavin as his jaw tightened. He clearly didn't like the angel's flippant tone either. Tavin reached out and grabbed Emily's hand and held her tightly. Emily tried not to wince at the strength of his grip.

  The angel watched the sudden gesture and his eyes narrowed in knowing. He turned to Emily, finally addressing her. “So, this is the human girl at the center of everything. Aren't you an interesting little thing?” His words were meant to be coy but his tone sent a shiver of unease down her spine. She didn't like this being at all. He freaked her out, a lot.

  The angel stared at Emily in a way that was very disturbing. He seemed to be...studying her. “But there's something about her. Funny, I never realized how much you look like...”

  “Enough...this is not why we're here.” Another voice called from behind the first angel, effectively ending the other angel's musings. The angel who had been staring at Emily frowned and his attention drew away from her. Whatever he
had been about to say was lost. She was intensely curious and that nagging bit of instinct screamed that whatever he would have said would have been monumental.

  The moment was lost though, so Emily turned her attention to the other two angels toward the back of the room. They were clearly not amused with his verbal slip up.

  The first angel gave an exaggerated sigh. “Yes, yes, I know...we're here about the bargain.”

  Bargain? What was the angel talking about? Tavin took her hand and held it tightly. “You said that I ...that we could be together. I believe that was the deal.” His voice was challenging but tinged with uncertainty.

  Emily was completely lost and trying to make sense of what was unfolding in front of her. The first angel turned to look at her again and his eyes were no longer amused. His eyes were cold and she felt nothing but dread. These were obviously not nice, kind angels. These three looked as if they were made to fight, their bodies thick with muscle and full of intimidation.

  “You’re right, that was part of the deal. The caviet is that you have to fulfill your end before that is possible.” The angel stated briskly, leaving no room for argument. Tavin drew himself up, obviously planning on arguing anyway.

  The angel to the right of the leader came foreward, it’s expression was a bit softer, not much, but Emily felt that perhaps this angel was a bit more sympathetic to their situation. “Sanvi. You are a bit too zealous. We have waited this long to find Lilith. Mesteema has proven himself a worthy ally. It does the cause no harm in allowing them their time together.”

  This one’s voice was a cool breeze over her skin. Tavin hadn’t looked at her, though he continued to cling to her hand, as if she would be taken from him in an instant. The leader squared his broad shoulders. “Sansanvi, that is enough.” Sanvi was clearly asserting his authority. His momentary good humor all but erased.

  Sansanvi moved back to it’s position, flanking the leader. Sanvi turned back toward them and his eyes rested on Emily again. She was hated his blatant interest in her.

  “What is it about you…a human girl, that made Masteema sacrifice everything? He betrayed his own maker for you. I think there is more to you than blood and bone.” His voice, a musical symphony was curious and he moved foreward until he stood directly in front of her.

  It hurt Emily’s eyes to look directly at this creature, but she refused to flinch. She met the angel’s eyes, holding Sanvi’s gaze, not looking away. She thought she saw amusment there but it was quickly gone, replaced by a cold ridgity.

  “I don’t see anything overly spectacular about her in the looks department. A shame.” Sanvi turned to Tavin and raised an eyebrow. His words were meant to be demeaning, but Emily ignored them. Then turning back to Emily, Sanvi gave her a magnificent smile. “In truth we are quite indebted to you. Without you, none of this would have been possible.” Emily looked at Sanvi questioningly. The angel flourished his hand toward Tavin. “You have given us our greatest weapon. Something we have been waiting thousands of years for. So, for that, we thank you.”

  Emily felt a prickle of fear touch her spine. Tavin, feeling her anxiety moved between them. “I gave you my word Sanvi. I will help you. I've turned my back on Lilith, on my brothers. My choice was made. So, I will find Lilith. Have no doubt that I will. Those, I believe were our terms.” Emily looked to Tavin, he had to find Lilith? He had agreed to hunt his own mother, to league himself with the beings who had brutalized her thousands of years ago?

  Even though Emily hated Lilith, knew the female demon had almost killed her, she didn’t like to think of Tavin helping to destroy his own mother. Tavin’s relationship with Lilith was complicated and more than a little weird; but one thing had always been clear to Emily. Tavin hated the angels, hated them for what they had done to Lilith all those years ago.

  Emily felt a sinking in her stomach. This was because of her. He had saved her. But at what cost?

  The third angel suddenly appeared beside his leader. Her leader, actually. Emily could tell that this angel was decidedly female. “Sanvi. Sansanvi is right. Mastema has sacrificed much and our kind are known for their compassion. They deserve their time together. We will hunt Lilith at first light.”

  Sanvi frowned but then nodded briskly. “Semangelaf, you and Sansanvi start making the rounds. Make sure all of Lilith’s children have left. I want none of them here. This place will be destroyed and Lilith’s haven razed and salted. She cannot be able to return here.”

  The female angel nodded and she and Sansanvi left the room. Leaving Tavin and Emily with the leader. Sanvi met Tavin’s eyes and spoke quickly and directly, his previous lightness gone. “You have tonight only. We will depart at first light. Lilith is crafty. We need to strike while she is weak.” He sounded excited and it made Emily's stomach knot up.

  Emily felt Tavin stiffen but he nodded. “Thank you Sanvi. For...tonight.” Emily knew it cost him a lot to thank the angel for anything. With a final nod, and a wicked grin in her direction, Sanvi addressed her one more time. “I think we'll be seeing each other again, Emily.” Then the angel left, the wall miraculously restored and the door shut.

  They were alone again. Emily looked up at Tavin, but he continued to stare after the angel, not moving. “Tavin, I think you have a lot to tell me.”

  Chapter 45

  Emily watched him as he pulled his fingers through his hair, a nervous gesture and one that she had become intimately familiar with. Tavin didn't answer her right away, he continued to stand there looking at the wall where the great gaping hole had been.

  Emily went and put her arms around his waist and laid her cheek against his back. She felt his breaths, deep and long and felt remarkably peaceful given the chaos they had just experienced. “So are you going to explain all of this to me or what?” She mumbled into the fabric of his shirt, taking his scent into her nose and holding it there.

  Tavin tugged on her arms and pulled her around so that she faced him. He placed his hands on her hips and situated her so that she was pressed against him. He leaned forward and kissed her lips. It was a lingering kiss meant to taste and savor. It made her toes curl in desire and she had to check herself so that she didn't throw him on the floor then and there.

  ''If you're trying to distract me, you're doing a pretty good job.” She murmured against his lips. Tavin laughed and leaned back, his eyes, while tired, shown with a new light that took her breath away.

  “Sorry, I don't mean to be evasive. After everything you've been through, there won't be any more secrets between us. Plus, I have some questions for you Madam.” He raised his eyebrows and gave her a look that meant he expected her honesty as well. Emily sighed, knowing he wouldn't be happy with what she had done.

  “You first.” She prompted, pulling him toward the blanket that lay on the floor. They sat close together, their fingers intertwined as though they couldn't bear to not touch one another. Tavin looked at their joined hands and carefully rubbed the delicate skin between her fingers, sending chills down her spine.

  ''This is all so unbelievable I don't even know where to begin. It feels like months since we were last together.” He pulled her against his side and rested his chin in her hair. Emily snuggled down into the nest of his arms. “I know. So much has happened.” She whispered. Tavin kissed the top of her head and continued.

  “I knew Lilith was trying to kill you. After the last time I saw you, she trapped me in the Abyss. I thought the portals were closed and I couldn't get to you.” His breath hitched and he seemed to be struggling with a particularly painful memory. “It's okay Tavin. Whatever you have to say, I'm here with you now. We came out on the other side.” She assured him.

  Tavin nodded and he took a deep and shaky breath. “I started to feel your fear through our bond. I knew that Lilith was causing the night terrors again and I...fed off of it.” Emily tensed for a moment and Tavin immediately sensed her change. “I had no choice Emily! I couldn't stop it. And it killed me to know what you were going through. And that
you most likely thought it was me!” His words were anguished and Emily squeezed him. Pulling back she looked him in the eyes.

  “She looked like you, at first...” Tavin flinched. So Emily hurried on. “But Lilith told me it was her, told me you were being kept somewhere. That was the most horrible and helpless feeling I've ever had. I knew you were out there somewhere, I just couldn't get to you.” Emily remembered with vivid clarity the feeling of dread and despair at the realization that Tavin was gone.

  Tavin’s face contorted with his anger. “She fed me your life Emily and then each day Rameel and my brothers took it from me again.” He shook with the extreme emotion. Emily frowned. “What do you mean, they took it from you?” Tavin stilled. “I mean, they literally stole my power, my substance. It's something that demons can do apparently. I never knew such a thing was possible. They held me down after...and Rameel put his mouth to my neck and...he drained me.”

  Emily paled at his words. What Tavin described sounded horrible. “Why your neck?” She whispered. Tavin closed his eyes, as if ashamed by what had happened. “Because it’s the power center for a demon. The clearest and most direct way to access another's powers. Something, that shouldn't ever happen to anyone...even a demon.” Tavin shuddered.

  And Rameel had done this to him. Rameel...she remembered the red eyed demon that had been with Lilith earlier. She would have ripped him in two if she had known what he was doing to Tavin. Tavin rubbed her arms. “Don't waste time being angry Emily. Rameel's time will come. Don't worry about that.” He sounded so cold and calculated that it gave Emily pause. This Tavin was merciless and even scarier now as an angel than he had ever been as a demon.

  “How did you get out?” She asked, wanting to change the subject quickly, though already knowing the answer, given the angels' sudden entrance. Tavin straightened his back and leaned away a bit. “Sanvi and the others. They...attacked my brothers...killing them. I killed too. I did what I had to do to get out, to find you.” He was icy and unforgiving. Clearly he had destroyed any guilt he may have had about the situation.