Straight from the Heart

by Linda Warren

  “But you are now?”

  “Yeah.” He looked at her. “Life changes everyone, I suppose.”

  He said the words with a touch of regret. “You say that like you’re sorry about it.”

  “No, I’m not sorry,” he told her. “I’m just sorry about the way it happened.”

  “Oh?” She turned on the seat to face him, wanting to hear his story more than she would ever have thought possible.

  He twisted the paper cup in his hand. “My parents both died when I was fifteen. My brother was five years older, and he was my strength, my support. He worked two jobs to put me through law school. He made sure I had everything I wanted. He’s that type of person—strong, selfless, dedicated. He didn’t deserve what happened to him.”

  Oh God, please don’t let him be dead, she prayed. She didn’t want Lucas to have experienced that kind of pain. The thought confused her, and she knew she was beginning to care about him in all sorts of ways. She wasn’t sure how to cope with that so she returned her thoughts to his brother. She remembered his mentioning a brother the night of the dinner—something about needing his approval. His brother meant a lot to him. She knew that from the sound of his voice.

  “What happened?” she asked quietly.

  “He was a detective on a homicide squad here in Houston, and he was accused of murdering his wife and small son.”

  “Oh, no!”

  “Yeah, that’s how I felt.” He crushed the cup in his hand in an angry movement. Ice spilled to the grass, but he didn’t seem to notice. “Instead of believing in him, the man I knew him to be, I offered my services as an attorney.”

  Even now, the words had the power to hurt and Lucas jerked to his feet and threw his cup in the trash. He had wanted Blair to talk. He had not intended to air his own past.

  Lucas resumed his seat and Blair held her breath as she waited for his next words.

  “He couldn’t deal with the pain, the loss of his son, and he disappeared before a warrant for his arrest could be issued. Soon after he left, his best friend confessed to the murders, but my brother was gone and I didn’t know when he was coming back—if ever. I used to come and sit here, hoping I’d see him again. Months turned into years, but I never gave up. I knew he’d return someday. I just wasn’t prepared for the way it came about.”

  He took a breath and stared up at the sky. “I got a call that he was in an Austin hospital and they didn’t expect him to make it through the night. He tried to save a girl from her kidnappers and he was shot seven times.”

  Blair gasped; she couldn’t help it. There was such pain in his voice.

  He glanced at her. “Don’t worry.” Lucas smiled, and her heart did funny things. “He survived, forgave me, which I didn’t deserve, and actually married the woman he rescued.”

  “Then he’s happy?”

  Lucas nodded. “Oh yeah, he’s very happy.”

  “I’m glad he forgave you,” she couldn’t help saying.

  “Me, too.” He smiled again. “And I’m grateful for the relationship we have now.”

  “Does he live in Houston?”

  Lucas leaned back and rested his arms along the bench. “No, he owns a ranch outside of Austin.”

  “Is this where the outdoor stuff comes in?” she asked with a hint of humor.

  “Yeah. I can’t wait to visit and get into boots and jeans and muck around in the fields, go fishing and hunting. When I was younger, I didn’t enjoy it because I was forced to do it. Now I do it because I want to, and because it’s a chance to spend time with Jacob.”

  “Is that your brother’s name?”

  “Yes, Jacob, and his wife’s name is Miranda and they have five gorgeous kids—three boys and two girls.”

  That answered a lot of questions—the bicycles, the pictures in his house and the car seats. “And you babysit a lot?” she guessed.

  His eyes positively glowed at the question. “Don’t get me started on the kids. I’ll never shut up. You’ll have to ask your uncle Howard about them.”

  “Uncle Howard knows them?” she echoed in disbelief.

  “Sure, he has dinner with them about once a month.”

  “Small world,” she said, a little shocked, making a mental note to talk to Uncle Howard as soon as possible. Howard Tate knew so many people and it was hard to keep track of them all. She’d realized from the way he’d greeted Lucas that they’d met before. She remembered now that he’d mentioned something about a man called Jacob. She could also remember Uncle Howard talking at various times about a Jacob and his family and how much he liked them.

  “Life is strange,” she added quietly. “Uncle Howard is a big part of my life. My maternal grandparents had this farm outside of Houston. After their deaths, Uncle Howard used to take Blake and me there. He knew how much we missed Grandma and Grandpa. I loved the outdoors, but Blake wasn’t too keen on it. Uncle Howard took me there after the attack.”

  There was silence for a while, and Lucas knew this was what she needed to talk about. She couldn’t keep everything hidden inside, the way she’d been doing for years.

  “Sometimes it helps to speak about painful situations,” he said into the silence.

  She ran her finger along the edge of the bench. “Is that what you did when your brother was missing?”

  “Yep, I talked to all my friends. Without their help and support, I would never have survived.”

  She looked across the pond. “After the attack, my mother wanted me to talk to her about it, but I couldn’t. Then she wanted me to see a psychiatrist, but I couldn’t do that, either. I didn’t want to dredge it all up. I just wanted to forget it had ever happened.”

  “But you haven’t forgotten,” he said into the stillness.

  “What?” She glanced at him with a perplexed frown.

  “You haven’t forgotten,” he said again.

  “You don’t know that,” she replied shortly.

  “Yes, I do. It’s with you every minute of every hour of every day.”

  She turned away from him. “I don’t want to discuss this.”

  “You have to. It’s the only way you can deal with it.”

  “I deal with it fine.”

  “No, you don’t. Look how you reacted today.”

  “No, no, no,” she cried, and closed her eyes tight. No one was going to make her relive that awful day—no one.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  “BLAIR.”

  She heard Lucas’s voice soothing and calming her. She didn’t want to hear it, but it felt good to have someone understand what she was feeling. And she was certain that Lucas did. He’d been through so much himself. He knew about pain and private anguish.

  “Talk to me,” he pleaded, and she felt him reaching into her heart the way he’d done before. Something was unfurling inside her, letting go, letting go….

  Lucas could see she was struggling with her emotions and he didn’t want to force her, but he couldn’t stop. “I know Todd Easton broke into your house and he had a gun. He was looking for your father, but he decided to vent his anger on you.”

  She stifled a sob in her throat, then the words came tumbling out. “I tried to run from him, but he caught me, beating me with the butt of the gun. Over and over he drove it into my body, and he was laughing all the time. I could hear my bones cracking and feel my skin tearing apart, and then he started to rip off my clothes and I knew what he was going to do. I began to fight. He only laughed that much harder. I thought I’d black out, then I heard the sirens, and the police burst in and ordered him to drop his weapon. He turned the gun on them and they fired. They killed him and he fell across my body. I tried to scream, but I couldn’t. My throat was full of blood.” She gulped in some air. “Sometimes at night I feel his weight on me and I wake up screaming.”

  Lucas was frozen in pain and shock. He had wanted her to talk, but he wasn’t prepared for his own reaction. He wanted to murder Todd Easton, to break some of his bones and put him through the kind of hell he�
��d put her through.

  “When I saw those same eyes today filled with rage, I lost it. I thought I could control the fear, but the truth is that it’s controlling me.” There, she’d admitted it and it wasn’t hard, not at all. Talking to Lucas was easy because he was such a compassionate listener.

  Lucas was quiet and she glanced at him. He was leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, hands clasped. She sensed that he was deeply upset at what she’d told him.

  “Lucas.”

  “Hmm.” He looked at her with black, tortured eyes.

  “I’m fine, really.”

  He shook his head. “No, you’re not. You’ll never be fine until this thing is resolved.”

  He was right. Sixteen years had finally come full circle, and it was time to resolve this whole situation—including Blake and her father’s involvement—everything.

  “How do you feel about Blake’s part in this?” he asked softly.

  “Shocked, and I still can’t believe he was there and he never said a word to anyone. I guess he was just scared, but I do believe his story and I also believe Dad didn’t know about it until after I was beaten up.”

  “I believe them, too,” he said.

  “Then you’ll represent Dad?” Her voice held a hint of excitement.

  His eyes held hers. “Yes, I’ll represent him.”

  “Thank you. We’re in very good hands.”

  Her faith in him disconcerted him, overwhelmed him, and he was tired of trying to fight it. He and Blair were bound together for a while, and he no longer saw that as something negative. In fact, he saw it as very positive, indeed.

  He wasn’t even angry that she expected him to be a miracle worker. There was only so much he could do—exposing the truth was at the top of the list. He’d already decided what his defense was going to be. He only hoped it was going to work.

  Lucas still planned to offer her an apology, and he needed to do it before they went any further. “I’d like to talk to you about something else.”

  “What?”

  “Last night.”

  “What about last night?”

  “You said I didn’t do anything stupid.”

  She arched an eyebrow. “I don’t recall anything stupid.”

  “I kissed you,” he reminded her in an aggrieved tone.

  She raised her shoulders. “So?”

  “I know how you feel about intimacy and I shouldn’t have done that. I must have frightened the hell out of you.”

  “Did I seem frightened?”

  “I can only remember bits and pieces, but no, you didn’t appear to be…”

  “I wasn’t,” she informed him, “so please don’t treat me like a child because of what happened to me in the past.”

  And you can kiss me anytime you want, she was tempted to say but she didn’t have that much nerve.

  An enormous weight was lifted from his shoulders. “Okay,” he said with a relieved smile. “I won’t treat you like a child. I’ll treat you like an adult, a beautiful woman.”

  The way he said beautiful made her feel suddenly breathless.

  “I think it’s time Blair Logan had some fun.” His smile was so bright now that it was blinding. “We’re going wading in the pond,” he said. “I’d suggest skinny-dipping, but I don’t think my blood pressure could take it. Besides, that old man would have us arrested.” As he was talking, he removed his shoes and socks, then glanced at her. “Don’t just sit there. Take off your shoes.”

  “Lucas, you’re not serious!”

  “Woman, I’ve never been so serious in my life.” Before this day was over he was going to hear her laugh. “Off with those shoes.”

  She raised her feet. “But I’ve got panty hose on.” She’d put them on that morning, before deciding what to wear. Afterward, she hadn’t bothered to remove them. Now she wished she had.

  He rubbed his chin in thought. “That does present a problem.” He snapped his fingers. “You can take them off in the car.”

  Without another thought, she ran to the car. In minutes, she was out of the panty hose. She slipped on her slacks and hurried back to Lucas. He was waiting for her with his trousers rolled up to his knees. He pointed to her legs and she immediately rolled hers up, too.

  They stood staring at each other, then Lucas said, “One more thing.”

  “What?”

  “Your hair,” he told her. “Take down your hair. I don’t like it that way.”

  Her eyes opened wide at that remark. “Lucas!”

  “Blair.”

  “Okay, okay.” She gave in. “But you’re not getting any more favors.”

  She quickly pulled out the pins, and dark hair tumbled around her shoulders.

  “Perfect,” he sighed, then ran to the water. He didn’t even stop at the water’s edge; he just plunged right in and turned to wave at her. “Come on,” he called.

  She removed her jacket and let it drop to the grass, revealing the sleeveless green shell beneath. She walked slowly to the water and stuck her toes in and immediately jerked them back. “It’s cold,” she shouted.

  “Chicken!” he said, laughing.

  “I’ll show you chicken.” She marched into the water, grimacing. The mud squished between her toes and she felt something touch her leg, but she didn’t have time to worry about it. Lucas was splashing toward her—and she laughed.

  That sound was everything Lucas knew it would be. Infectious, appealing, heartwarming, and her face reflected those emotions. The transformation from the grave Blair to the laughing Blair was magical and he had to look into those gorgeous eyes.

  As he drew near, she reached down with her hand and threw water at him. He laughed and retaliated, and the antics began. Their laughter and shrieks of joy filled the air as they tried to avoid each other and at the same time get the other one wet.

  The man across the pond picked up his chair and fishing gear and left. They didn’t notice.

  Finally Blair ran from the water and sank to the grass on her knees. Lucas fell down beside her, unable to take his eyes off her. Her eyes were bright and her cheeks were glowing with an inner fire that went all the way to her heart. She had finally released some of the pain; he was sure of it.

  She was wet from head to toe, as was he, and to him, she’d never looked more beautiful. Her slacks molded her shapely hips and the green top clung provocatively to her breasts. He could see the outline of her lacy bra. Desire swept through him and all he could think about was lowering her to the grass and making slow, sweet love to her. He lay back with a groan, using his hands as a pillow, trying to curb the longing inside him. He knew she wasn’t ready.

  She ran her hands through her damp hair. “Look at me. I’m all wet,” she cried, laughter in every word.

  Lucas closed his eyes. He couldn’t look. He was in too deep already. One peek, and he’d be lost. He was forty-two years old and Blair Logan had the power to make him act and feel seventeen. It was more than overwhelming. It was downright sinful.

  “I’m not exactly dry,” he muttered.

  “It’s your fault. You deserve to be wet.”

  His eyes popped open. “Excuse me? I wasn’t the one who splashed water first.”

  “I know.” She smiled. “You should’ve seen your face.” She raised a hand to her mouth to stop a bout of laughter, then her expression changed—drastically.

  Lucas immediately sat up. “Blair, what is it?”

  Her eyes widened in alarm. “I…ah…I forgot everything. Blake, my father, that awful Easton man, my fears—everything. I just let it go…for the moment. Now…”

  “That’s okay.”

  “Is it?”

  “Yes,” he assured her. “You’ve been keeping everything inside you, and you were getting close to the edge. I think you almost reached it today in my office. You have to have some fun—laugh a little more—or you’re not going to make it through this.”

  She sat back on her heels, letting his voice bolster her. She tilted her head
to one side. “I’m wondering how I ever thought you were a terrible person.”

  He grinned and wrapped his arms around his knees. “Me, too, especially when I’ve been told I’m such a charming man.”

  “You are,” she whispered breathlessly as primal, fundamental emotions engulfed her. His wet dark hair curled against his face and his eyes were smoldering with a need that was answered deep inside her. She ached with that need and she desperately wanted him to kiss her, but he wouldn’t unless….

  “Would you kiss me, please?” she asked in that same breathless voice.

  Lucas’s breath solidified in his throat and he realized he was in trouble, because he couldn’t say no to her. “Blair,” he murmured in anguish.

  She leaned over and gently touched his cheek with her lips and he turned his head, unable to stop himself from taking her lips in a gentle kiss. He wouldn’t allow himself anything else.

  “That’s not how you kissed me last night,” she murmured.

  “Blair.” His resistance was growing weaker.

  “You said you weren’t going to treat me like a child,” she whispered against his skin.

  Somewhere between her voice and her touch, he gave up. He held her face in his hands, his lips covering hers. She moaned softly and he deepened the kiss to the intensity he craved. Her lips, her tongue, melted under his and he knew she was with him every step of the way. But he also knew that things couldn’t go any further. She was too vulnerable.

  Lucas’s kiss was everything she remembered and more. Under his touch everything vanished—her fears, her uncertainties—and all she wanted to do was lose herself in Lucas. It was a feeling she’d never experienced, never expected, and she let it take her away.

  Reluctantly Lucas broke the kiss and rested his forehead against hers. Without a word, she curled into his side and he wrapped an arm around her as they watched the sun sinking slowly in the west.

  “Oh,” Blair breathed as the sunset bathed the trees in an orange glow. The brilliant color reflected off the pond in a dazzling display of color. “How beautiful.”

  “Yes,” Lucas agreed, but he wasn’t thinking about the sunset.

  As it grew dark, they stood and made their way to the car. Lucas told her he’d drop her off at her apartment. He didn’t want her driving alone at night. She didn’t protest. They barely talked on the drive to Blair’s apartment; there was no need. They both knew that what had just happened was special, but because of everything else in their lives, they accepted that their feelings had to be put aside—for now.