Althea: A Story of Love

by Philip Rastocny

  “Do you still feel that way?” I probed.

  “When my Kundalini carries me away and I surrender to it, so yes I still do.”

  “You have come a long way. Do you remember much?”

  “Not really. It’s like my memory turns on and off and I can only recall segments of time. Even when you tell me about the experience from start to finish, I cannot remember all of the details. Can you tell me again?”

  I briefly recalled the moment I came home and the trip to the emergency room. I explained how she jerked her right arm back and forth and how I knew she was trying to tell me something important. I told her about her persistence in not wanting to take the helicopter ride to Tampa, and about the stranger who saved her life.

  “Do you remember Doctor DeWeese?”

  Letting go of my hands she waved her arms and said with a smile, “I think he was the surgeon. I liked him a lot.”

  “He was a proponent for your recovery. He listened to me and worked with your allergies and sensitivities. He respected your choices in medication and your spirituality.”

  “Phil, I appreciate all you did for me. I love you!”

  “Althea, you cured yourself. All I did was to encourage you.”

  “You did much more than that. You picked me up, carried me, cleaned me, and your arm was always there to help me walk.”

  “Althea, you did the same for me when I had my concussion. How could I do any less?”

  “But you did so much more,” she responded trying to compliment me in the best way she could.

  “I worked with you in your unconscious and semi-conscious states,” I continued. “When you squeezed my thumb, I knew I was doing the right thing. I would have continued until you no longer needed it or wanted me to.

  “The most surprising moment during your ICU stay was the morning you touched your chin. Without giving you my undivided attention, if I had been somehow preoccupied, I would have missed it.”

  “Missed what?” Althea said trying to understand.

  “For the two days prior to that moment, you struggled to scratch your lip bringing your hand close but never quite touching it. You got closer each time but not quite there. Then as if you had done it hundreds of times before, you reached up, skipped your lip, and scratched the top of your head. I knew then you would recover quickly.”

  Althea tilted her head and looked at me in disbelief.

  “Kimberly and John were the people I stayed with in Tampa during your hospital stay. John’s aunt also had a stroke, and it took her much longer to just open her eyes. Today is only the forty third day since your stroke and you are doing amazingly well.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. Do you know why I enjoy recalling your recovery experience with you?”

  “No. You get so enthusiastic. I get energized from just listening to you!” Althea sat back waiting for me to tell the story again.

  “It’s because I get the chance to remind you about how far you have come. You are moving ahead at a rate much faster than anyone normally does. That excites me!” I said humbly. “Althea, you are an absolutely amazing woman. The depth of your strength and determination astounds me. What you believe to be a mediocre recovery rate at best is in fact exemplary to others. You have exceeded all of your doctor’s expectations and you are now well on your way to a complete recovery.”

  “I don’t feel that way.”

  “I know and that is what sets you apart. Unlike my concussion, your injury was massive and far more life threatening. I was only unconscious for a few minutes and you were comatose for days. You have literally clawed your way back from the edge of death. Like a boxer who hears the bell, you emerged from the blackness and came out swinging. All you need is time.”

  “I noticed one other difference between my recovery and yours,” she added.

  “What is that?”

  “I don’t get irritable and irrational like you did. Do you remember that?”

  “Yes I do. But our brains shut down much like the doctor’s did in the video and we felt the same euphoria and connection she did. While my recovery behavior was different, we share this same experience. Because of this common experience, I better understand how to support you. I want to do this not because I have to, need to, or want to; I do this because it’s just what you do for someone you love.”

  Tears streamed from both of our eyes as we each confessed our gratitude. “I am thankful for the opportunity to experience this amount of love in my life and I believe this was why the Angels sang when we got married.”

  Without words, I leaned forward off of my chair and we fell into each other’s arms. Our deep love for each other flowed from our breasts into each other’s hearts, and the warmth of the moment carried us into that blissful place only true love knows. Our hearts intertwined in joy and we gave thanks to the Creator for this opportunity.

  Althea tired quickly after that. All day, she walked by herself without her walker, just my arm in hers for occasional balance. I went to the utility room to do some overdue laundry and Althea appeared in the doorway. She brought with her an armful of clothes to wash from the bedroom. This was one more small testimony to the incredible speed of her recovery.

  I cannot put limits on this woman who thinks she is not doing well. I cannot think for a moment our bench will not come soon. I cannot believe my eyes sometimes at the things she does and the ease at which she does them. Soon she will be walking outside, riding her bicycle, and even driving the car…probably sooner than I suspect.

  If I stay in the Present, I’ll see everything and I want to see it all. I don’t want to miss a single thing. I’ll only get one opportunity to do this, and I want to do it with love.

  Chapter 31 — June 20, 2008 — Day 121

  * * *

  Growth is inevitable and unavoidable. Physical, mental, and spiritual growth begins the moment you are conceived and continues until you die. Growth phases come and go with life lessons. As you feel your way along in this reality—from scooting on the floor to dancing on your tiptoes—changes in your physical height seem to be timed perfectly to key moments. Looking back, you may notice how such physical changes blended harmoniously with certain mental or emotional challenges.

  Mental growth evolves with each stimulating occurrence that builds your character. Once your mind learns a way to do something, it responds in set patterns for the rest of your life. Each time familiar events unfold, your mind associates similar patterns from your memories and anticipates the future. Like a robot, you may cling to clichés knee-jerk reactions with little or no conscious thought as to how or why you say or believe such things. But your mind can be retrained to embrace conscious thought. Much like physical growth spurts, the mind undergoes surges in learning timed to specific ages. Fortunately such learning cycles never end and each day presents new opportunities to understand yourself and train or retrain your mind.

  Spiritual growth occurs differently. Stunted at times, spiritual growth rises and falls unpredictably. Much of spiritual growth interplays with mental growth in understanding why one believes something. As the mind gathers its memories and you encounter more complicated beliefs, spiritual growth resonates to one belief system that works for you. When more mind experiences adjust your thoughts, like personally witnessing something unusual, changes in your belief system may follow. When unexplainable supernatural first-hand experiences occur, spiritual growth evolves more profoundly than in any other time.

  When a profound event happens, such as when experiencing a miracle, it may be so hard to understand and so inexplicable that your mind makes no sense of its meaning. Nothing in your memory relates to what was just observed. Your mind may refuse to deal with it and delay any additional thought or reflection about it until more knowledge about this matter is gained. Then, recalling this unresolved issue and reflecting on its meaning, your mind incorporates it into your accumulated knowledge and you again grow. Your views on life are altered. Like a stream meandering through the
countryside, what you once accepted now changes course. Such is the nature of faith.

  When a young child is the lone survivor of a horrific plane crash killing hundreds of people, this by some is termed a miracle. Unrecognizable twisted metal and piles of broken bones are strewn through the crash site but yet one child manages to be in that perfect place where it alone is shielded from destruction. What sense can the mind make of such an incident? How could anything survive at all? The mind surrenders resolution at such times and may call it “God’s will.” Others may dwell on the technical aspect and call it chance, luck, or coincidence. But the pattern the mind takes remains the same. Nothing in your memory can relate to such a profound incident and you cannot explain it. Somewhere, somehow, something happened that helped this child survive. What it was doesn’t matter. What matters is that it profoundly affected you and as a result you grew.

  Althea’s profound spiritual experiences began with our wedding vows where the Angels came and lifted our spirits high into the sky. Later, simple meditations eventually led to one kind of Vision Quest and then to Native American Sweat Lodges. At this time, her prayers and dedication created a foundation for her lifelong belief system. Forged from accumulated personal encounters, her persistence guided her to reach spiritually higher than ever before.

  Under the guidance of a Yaqui teacher, she was introduced to the most enduring of Native American spiritual ceremonies: the Sun Dance. Driving to the Pine Ridge reservation in South Dakota, she witnessed how the Native Lakota people showed their personal commitments to their supernatural beliefs. So moved by their demonstration, she returned each year for four consecutive years to further understand this sacred ceremony.

  Watching the people dance around a symbolic tree to the beat of huge thundering drums, she saw young and old, men and women dancers endure cloudless days of well over one hundred and ten degree heat in committed spiritual passion. Four days these dancers danced and with each passing day more and more dancers joined in. On the last day, this ceremony ended in elation and spiritual ecstasy.

  At the conclusion of the second Sun Dance, moved by its incredible holiness, Althea decided she too needed to experience this ceremony first hand. Planning how to make this become reality took an entire year.

  Under the guidance of her Yaqui teacher, Althea prepared for this grueling test. She knew there was a reason she was called to do this and now it was time to understand what that reason was. Prayers, fasting, meditation, and soul searching were all part of her weekly routine. Weeks went by and with each passing day, clarity came to her.

  Some people danced for themselves to obtain skills, healings, or blessings. Some danced for family members or for friends who cannot dance for themselves. Others danced in gratitude. Each reason was personal and each was the right reason—whatever it was—to connect in this way to the Creator.

  A spiritual encampment led by the Sun Dance Leader started several days prior to the ceremony to prepare dancers for their ordeal and to organize and construct the grounds. Sun Dances are usually held in undeveloped areas where facilities are scarce. Water and sometimes trees are the only resources available; everything else was brought by or done by those in this spiritual encampment.

  The sacred circle in which these people would dance was surrounded in sage creating a sacred hoop. Those dancing within this hoop would soon feel the growing powers. In its center, a tree is selected by the Leader, cut down, and placed deep in the ground. Bright colored tobacco ties and flag offerings would soon adorn its branches and wave in the gusty prairie winds.

  Those who came to observe needed a place to watch. These volunteers at the spiritual encampment erected an arbor surrounding the circle of sage. Allowing space between the arbor and this sage, observers are close enough to clearly witness the efforts of the dancers without interference.

  Observers sit in lawn chairs or on blankets under the shade of the arbor. Sage is strewn on the ground to help purify their presence. On the east end, facing the direction of the morning sun, a gate in this arbor allows dancers and helpers to enter and exit for the day’s events. On the west end of the arbor, a reserved area provides shade and temporary relief for the dancers during their breaks. Just north of this rest area, the singers set up their chairs in a circle around a huge drum. A dozen or so people crowd around this drum and sing sacred songs exclusively reserved for this high ceremony. With so many sticks beating simultaneously and so many voices joining in unity, the ground shakes as does your heart.

  The steady slow drumming of these sacred Sun Dance songs symbolizes the heartbeat of Mother Earth and dancers move their feet in unison to its beat. Round and round inside this sage circle these dancers slowly move in a sun-wise direction under the loving guidance of the Leader. Stopping in one direction, all dancers gather to honor that direction asking for help in their struggle. Some blow whistles carved from dried turkey bones and some pierce the skin of their breasts and tie ropes through the holes to the sacred tree. Others pierce the skin of their backs and tie ropes to buffalo skulls dragging them around this sacred circle. Still others pierce the skin on their shoulders and tie cords to eagle feathers. Some just dance without piercing at all.

  When people pierce their skin, they offer their flesh to the Creator symbolizing their firm commitment to their purpose for dancing. Those tied to the tree may spend all night sleeping beneath its flag-covered bows still connected to its limbs. At some point during the dance, as the spirit moves the leaders, those pierced are given the choice to tear the ropes from their skin in a ceremonial offering. Before the end of the fourth day, all those who pierce voluntarily do this.

  Dancing begins long before sunrise and ends just after sunset. Abrupt bangs on the huge ceremonial drum awaken the dancers from their slumber announcing the coming dawn. Gathering their wits and their focus, dancers converge in the darkness at the entrance to the Sweat Lodge. In this cleansing ceremony, dancers reaffirm their commitments to endure the day despite the heat and lack of water. Finding strength from within, dancers assemble inside the sage circle offering last minute prayers at the sacred tree. The intensity of this commitment seals the faith bond for the day and becomes a miraculous memory for later in life. As it is with similar unexplainable miracles, this moment strengthens their resolve.

  At the end of the day, worn and weak, dancers again congregate at the entrance to the Sweat Lodge for the evening ceremony. Prayers of thanksgiving and praise are shared within as rattles and drums beat to ceremonial songs. The hot rocks may seem cool compared to the blistering sun endured that day, and rest is on everyone’s minds. Like a mother miraculously lifting a car off of a trapped child, the Creator miraculously sends strength into each exhausted dancer. In dreams, the Creator answers prayers and gives courage to dance again the next day.

  To the Lakota people, a person’s personal Spiritual journey is called Cankú Lúta (pronounced chan-koo Loo-duh) and translated as the Red Road. The Red Road leads to the Creator and one’s Spiritual journey is a lifelong walk on its path. Just as there are many ways to travel to a distant place, each person’s Red Road takes a different route and encounters numerous distractions enticing you to wander from its sides. When you notice you are not focused on the Creator, redirection of your focus is easy. Gently nudging your attention back to your personal Spiritual commitments guides your feet back onto your path. Dancing in a Sun Dance will do this.

  Each dancer adds their own flags and tobacco ties to the sacred tree upon arrival. As more and more dancers arrive, the sacred Sun Dance tree becomes covered with their offerings, its bows bending under their weight. On Wednesday evening, Althea walked to this tree and tied her offerings to it indicating she would dance these four days. That night, Althea sat with me and her teacher and somberness flowed over her spirit. She was about to partake in a ceremony that was longer and more difficult than anything she had ever attempted before. “Draw your strength from the tree,” her teacher advised. “The Creator will support you and send yo
u the relief you need throughout the day.”

  With her sacred ceremonial pipe in hand, Althea said her prayers and wound her way to the early morning Sweat Lodge. I was proud of her as she walked away with the Red Road in front of her. Her brown ceremonial dress waved in the breeze and her wrists and ankles were ringed in sage. These sage bracelets, bound in red cloth, symbolized the blood of the Earth Mother and helped to keep her connection to the Creator pure. As her image faded in the twilight, I saw this was another place Althea was going where I could not follow. The call of the beating drums signaled the start of another step on her personal spiritual journey.

  Just over three months ago, a vibrant blond-haired woman took my arm, pulled me toward her, and passionately embraced me. Stroking my hair with her hand, she gazed longingly at me and said, “I love you. I am so glad we have this chance to be together.”