***
ASHA walked out into the living room later that night. “You guys want to play Taboo? I found it stashed in the closet.”
“No!” shouted Rhian and Vianne in unison, eyes wide open in horror.
“You were supposed to get rid of it.” Rhian glared at Vianne.
Alexa came sliding in with a fist pump. “Yes! Awesome!”
“We can’t, we only have four people,” Rhian said pointedly, waggling her eyebrows at Asha.
Asha was confused. “But it says four and...oh. Oh!” Realization hit her. “Let’s watch a movie.”
But Alexa could not be distracted that easily. “Nope, I want to play Taboo. C’mon!” she begged, pulling on Vianne’s arm like a little kid. She wasn’t above whining and pleading.
Vianne groaned. It was going to be a long night.
***
ASHA tried her best to shut down. She bottled up her emotions, and choked down any hint of tears. She made her wall stronger.
Every call sent to voicemail, and every voicemail deleted unheard.
***
LARA was tempted to throw the phone across the room when she heard Asha’s voicemail greeting again. It was the only way she heard Asha’s voice since their fight, even though Lara called and left messages daily.
Lara furrowed her brow as the greeting went on. Asha had roped Vianne into doing it with her, and she was pretty sure Alexa and Rhian were shouting at each other in the background. Mittsy had mentioned Asha’s new living arrangement in a passing conversation, but she couldn’t let on that it was the first she was hearing about it. She highly doubted Asha would have shared with anyone what had transpired, shared the fact that they weren’t speaking. She knew Asha well enough to know she’d only tell people if forced. At least she thought she knew her. She never would have thought that she’d give up her beloved Florida for reasons other than a team.
Lara couldn’t even imagine what their daily life must be like; she was surprised they hadn’t burned the place down yet.
She sighed and debated throwing her phone again. She was frustrated, angry, lonely, miserable.
And tomorrow’s game was cancelled, so Lara couldn’t even look forward to ninety minutes of peace.
***
“LOOK at Lex,” Vianne whispered to Asha.
Alexa was sitting on the floor, cards spread in front of her. Her jaw was tense, she looked absolutely pissed.
“Talk about crazy eyes.”
“I think she’s playing solitaire, and she’s losing.”
They giggled quietly from their vantage spot in the hallway.
Rhian looked over their shoulders. “Ooh, someone’s going to get laid in about five minutes.”
Vianne shot her a look.
“What? When Alexa gets mad like this, she takes her frustrations out on you.”
“No, she does not,” Vianne whispered indignantly.
Each flip of the card was more forceful than the last. Suddenly, Alexa jumped up and yelled Vianne’s name.
“Make sure you stretch first,” Rhian giggled.
Vianne glared at her. She tentatively walked into the room. “Hey, what’s...”
Alexa grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hall, towards their room, not even acknowledging Asha and Rhian. Vianne looked back at them with a slightly embarrassed smirk, and shrugged.
“We should probably go out for a while. You do not want to hear this. They get, um, louder than usual when Alexa loses,” Rhian said, wrinkling her nose.
“Seriously? It’s a card game.”
Asha jumped slightly at a loud bang.
“That was probably Vianne being thrown against the door.”
Another loud bang, and a long moan.
“And that was probably Alexa,” Rhian continued to narrate. “Just hope we don’t lose a game. Last time she lost a scrimmage, Vianne could barely walk.”
Another moan, this time of Vianne’s name dissolving into a string of curses.
“I mean. Vianne. Who knew?”
***
“IS everything okay with you, dude?”
Asha stopped drawing and looked over at Vianne who was still staring intently at her book. “I’m good. Why?”
“You’ve been quiet. You look pretty out of it sometimes. Like you’re a million miles away. And you don’t go out with us. I mean it’s cool with me, whatever you do, but usually you love going out and now you’re not.” Vianne paused. “Also, Rhian gave me five bucks to beg you to go out tonight. So. You should totally come.”
Asha stood and walked a few feet away, clasping her hands behind her head. “I’m pretty tired. Maybe another time. But seriously nothing’s wrong. I would tell you guys,” she lied.
Vianne hummed. Asha couldn’t tell what it meant.
“I’m over her, you know,” she offered. Another lie.
Vianne nodded. “Gotcha,” she said simply, and went back to reading her book.
A few hours later, Rhian stormed into her room. “Get up.”
“I’m sleeping, Rhi.”
“Get up, take a shower, and get dressed. We’re going out, and we’re going to have fucking fun.”
“No.”
“Fine then. I’m telling Denise,” Rhian threatened. “And Sashia,” she added as an afterthought.
Asha groaned and pulled the pillow over her face. “Tell them what.”
“Tell them that you mope around here all night, and you stare off into space looking all sad, and you haven’t answered any of Lara’s calls, and that something big clearly happened between you two.”
“How did you...Rhian Fucking Rhys. You went through my phone?”
“Well, no. Yeah. Kinda,” she backpedaled. “Just at your missed calls. ‘Cause one day you were out and you left it, and it was ringing like incessantly so I looked to see who it was and...”
“Okay, stop. Enough.”
“Why aren’t you talking to her? I thought you were okay, I thought you were doing the friend thing.”
“We’re fine. It’s fine.”
“Don’t lie to me. I’m not an idiot.”
“We had a small fight, but that’s all over so there’s nothing to tell.”
Rhian narrowed her eyes and whipped out her phone.
“Fine! I’ll go out with you guys. Jesus Christ,” Asha muttered, heading to the shower.
Vianne poked her head around the corner once the coast was clear.
“And that’s the master of manipulation at work. Stick with me, kid. You’ll have Alexa doing anything for you. And I mean anything and everything.” Rhian winked.
“Dude. Shut up.”
***
“ASH! She’s staring at you!” Rhian loudly whispered.
Asha concentrated on her drink.
“Ash! Listen to me! She’s hot. And she’s staring at you.”
“Not my type.”
Alexa huffed. “Bull. She’s exactly your type. Get up and go talk to her.”
Asha instead focused on drawing patterns in the condensation of her glass.
“Asha Lorenz! Stop ignoring me! Ash! Never mind, she’s coming over.”
Asha cursed under her breath, and dared a glance upwards. Okay, she was hot. Really hot.
“Give her a chance. Please? Five minutes and then we’ll come rescue you.”
“Fine. Five minutes.”
Asha took a deep breath as the two left the table. She was nervous, which was weird. She rarely got nervous in these situations. The nerves were replaced by a vague sense of unease as soon as the brunette introduced herself and took a seat.
It took a few minutes to identify the reason - guilt. Asha steeled herself. There was no reason to feel guilty. She was single. She was single and Lara didn’t love her anymore. She said it herself. No point in hoping for something that was never going to happen.
A sudden sense of determination hit her. She needed this.
***
VIANNE was drinking her coffee in the kitchen early the next mo
rning when she heard the front door slowly creak open. She peered out and watched as Asha snuck in. Or stumbled in. She was obviously running on no sleep. Asha looked at her in shock.
“It’s five in the morning, why are you up?”
“It’s five in the morning, why are you just getting home?”
Asha blushed and joined her in the kitchen. “I need coffee,” she avoided the question.
Vianne nudged her. “So?”
“What.”
“How was she?”
“Vianne!”
“What?”
“You’re rather bold in the morning.”
“I didn’t mean like that!” Vianne blushed and stammered. “I meant...just...did you like her?”
“She was...it was fun. I liked her. But not to date. Just...fun.”
Vianne nodded. "You know I won't judge."
"I know. Thanks."
Vianne passed her a cup and they fell into a comfortable silence.
“So why are you up again?” Asha asked after a while.
“Run on the beach. I want to see the sunrise. I’m leaving in a few if you want to join,” Vianne said happily.
Asha stared at her. “You’re really weird.”
***
EVERY night for the next week, Asha went out, and most nights she went home with someone. She discovered that the turmoil was momentarily silenced when her body was tangled with another, focusing all her energy on a singular goal.
The memories were blurred, the aching was dulled. It helped for the moment. And then she snuck home, took a scalding hot shower, and waited for the crippling rush of guilt and heartache.
Chapter 8
“TALK to her, Rhi.”
“No, why do I have to talk to her?”
“Because. Vianne won’t and I don’t know what to say.”
“So you make me have the super awkward conversation?”
“You’re the master of awkward conversations.”
***
RHIAN found her skating in front of the house. She dove right into it. “We’re worried. Well, Alexa is worried and I guess I am too. Vianne’s just. Vianne. She’s probably worried but you can never tell with her.”
Asha stopped, caught off guard. “Worried about what?”
“You went from being practically a hermit to getting drunk and banging a new chick every night. It’s just a little sudden. And we wanted you to know that we’re here. If you need to talk.”
Asha sat on the ground, patting the space next to her. Rhian leaned her head on her shoulder.
“I’m just letting loose. Maybe I went a little overboard. But really, I’m okay. Just trying to get back to...me.” Asha slung an arm around her and squeezed. “Thanks. For everything. For letting me live here and junk.”
Rhian laughed. “Well, let’s not get too emotional, Lorenz.”
Asha pushed her away. “Go get my other board. I’ll teach you something cool.”
She sighed as she watched Rhian head into the house. She was getting pretty good at lying. Maybe if she kept saying it, it’d eventually become the truth.
***
“HAVE you guys seen my yellow Nike hoodie?” Asha had spent the last ten minutes tearing her room apart.
Asha walked into Alexa and Vianne’s room. All three looked up from where they were sitting on the floor. They looked guilty as hell; Vianne shot her an apologetic smile.
And all three were decked out in her clothes, Alexa with the hoodie on.
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
Rhian piped up, “We’re painting Vianne’s nails.”
“And you have to wear my clothes to do this?”
They gave each other shifty glances. Clearly, they were planning something.
Asha sighed. “Take it off and get another one.” She had long since realized the futility of understanding them, or trying to stop them - especially when they were in one of these moods.
Alexa grinned and ran out of the room. “You’re the best, Ash!”
***
ONE night, Alexa and Vianne bowed out early, catcalls following them as they disappeared into their room.
Asha and Rhian sprawled on the couch, Rhian providing a running commentary on whatever flashed on the TV.
Asha downed her glass of wine and poured another, relishing the warmth that bubbled from within. Between the two, they had polished off one bottle and finished off most of a second. Asha had a sneaking suspicion though that it had mostly been her. Her brain was a little too fuzzy, her movements a little too heavy. And Rhian was buzzed, but didn’t seem to be on her level.
She caught herself staring at Rhian more than once, but the wine dulled the part of her brain that was responsible for warning against bad ideas.
Rhian finally caught her and smirked, raising an eyebrow. “How’s the view?”
Asha grinned, and ducked her head. “It’s alright, I guess.”
Rhian giggled and shoved her, which quickly turned into a wrestling match. After a few minutes, they called a truce and collapsed on the floor to catch their breath.
Asha turned her head. Rhian’s eyes were closed. She was mesmerized by the gentle rise and fall of her chest, the freckles that dusted her face, cheeks tinged pink from their scuffle. Asha wondered what her skin would feel like under her lips.
Before Asha could stop herself, she leaned over and their lips met in a soft kiss. Rhian’s eyes flew open in surprise, but she didn’t jerk back like Asha expected. Asha suspected that she was frozen with shock, so she broke the kiss and started to pull away. After a moment of hesitation, Rhian crooked a hand around Asha’s neck, keeping her close, and connected their lips again.
Asha pulled Rhian on top of her and deepened the kiss. Her hands wandered to Rhian’s sides, running up and down her ribs. She felt Rhian’s hands in her hair, gently tugging. Her heart thudded hard in her chest.
The warnings broke through the lust-induced haze.
What the fuck are you thinking. This is Rhian, your teammate, your roommate, your friend.
But she was too caught up in how good Rhian’s lips felt, how she pulled her hair just hard enough. How, even though Rhian was much smaller, she felt safe and protected.
Her hand slipped beneath her shirt, tracing patterns on her soft skin. She pressed her fingers hard into the small of her back. Rhian softly moaned, spurring Asha to flip them over, pressing their bodies together tightly.
A door creaked open, instantly breaking the trance they were under. Asha flew back and started stuttering apologies. Rhian raised her finger to her mouth to shush her, and they sat there in tense silence.
Vianne walked out and headed to the kitchen. “Sup.”
Rhian grunted in response, Asha didn't say a word - she was still recovering from what she had just done. Vianne gave them both a weird look but didn’t ask questions.
They stared at the TV until they heard the footsteps disappear behind the closing of the door.
“Shit. Fuck. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean...I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Rhian scooted close, and put a calming hand on her shoulder. Asha took a deep breath and hung her head in shame.
“Hey. It’s okay. It’s not like I stopped you.”
“But I fucked up! I fucked up so bad. This was a mistake. Please don’t hate me.”
“Asha. Stop. It’s fine.” Rhian paused. “I’m not going to sleep with you.”
Asha jerked her head up and her mouth fell open.
Rhian laughed a little at her expression. “No offense.”
“I don’t even know why I did that. I think I drank too much. Not that I need to be wasted to kiss you! You’re hot, you are, it’s just. Fuck,” Asha frantically backpedaled.
Rhian laughed again. “How on earth do you get any girls to go home with you with lines like that?”
An awkward silence fell over them, as both pretended to watch the TV. Asha snuck glances, Rhian was clearly debating something, her brow furrowed and she chewed on her
lip.
Finally, Rhian turned to her. “Look, the ball’s in your court. We can pretend this never happened, or we can keep doing this.”
Asha was thoroughly confused. “You want to date?”
“Dude, what? No! Like we’re friends, just like before. And sometimes we kiss. But it doesn’t mean anything ‘cause it’s just kissing. I mean, I never thought of you in this way before, but that was fun.”
Asha looked at her skeptically. “And has this arrangement worked for you in the past?”
Rhian blushed. “Well, yeah. One time it got pretty ugly but the other times...”
“Rhian! I was joking! Are you kidding me? The other times?”
“Hey! I appreciate someone who can kiss. And soccer usually doesn’t mix with healthy relationships. Are you seriously telling me you never had a make out buddy in college?”
“Well no, it never stopped at making out and usually it was once and done. Wait. Do I know any of these make out buddies?”
Rhian hesitated a beat too long.
“Holy shit! Who?”
“No one! It doesn’t matter. I’ve been sworn to secrecy by one and I don’t want to die.”
“Tell me,” Asha begged. Rhian zipped her mouth shut. “Fine, I’m just gonna guess.” Asha studied her carefully. She decided to start by running through the list of the national team. “Alexa,” Asha began.
Rhian’s hand twitched almost imperceptibly.
But Asha knew her too well, knew her tells.
“Alexa? Fucking Alexa? Oh my god! Does Vianne know?”
Rhian groaned and flung her head back. “It was so long ago, a few years ago. And yes she knows, but we’re all adults. It’s cool.”
Asha stared at her. “This is kind of incestuous.”
Rhian wrinkled her nose “No! Well, I guess, sorta.” She brightened and poked her in the side. “Well?”
“Well what?”
“Asha.”
Asha considered. Rhian was an excellent kisser. And she was right, it had been fun. It made her feel a little less lonely, a little less bleak.
“Just kissing?”
“Just kissing. Keep it above the belt, horndog.”
Asha slapped her arm, and after a few seconds of hesitation, leaned over to kiss her again.
"Wait a sec." Rhian pulled away. "You're okay, right? Like seriously? I don't want to fuck you up more, not that you're fucked up...you know what I mean. I don't want you using this as..."
Game Up Page 5
