Labeled Love

by Danielle Rocco

  “Crazy is good, right?” I reply.

  “Crazy is really good.” He reaches up with both hands running them through my hair. I look at his arms as his muscles contract. Jace really has the best arms. “I can’t wait, but I will, because you are worth the wait. It’s just always on my mind.”

  I’m totally in swoon boy heaven right now. I smile down at him. “You think I’m worth the wait?”

  “I know you’re worth the wait.”

  He showers little kisses on my face. Before he reaches my lips, I let my inner good girl insecurities shine through and blurt out, “I’m sure you have lots of girls that are very willing to give you what you want.”

  “What do you mean?” he asks, lifting his head and looking at me.

  “Come on, Jace. You are away from me more than we are together. Can you honestly tell me girls aren’t all over you?”

  “First of all,” he says, sitting up and bringing me with him, “no other girls are all over me, and that’s because I don’t let them close enough to me. Secondly, there is only one girl I’ve ever wanted on top of me. And, thirdly, I don’t like you even putting those thoughts in your mind.”

  “I bet those girls know where you live.”

  He groans. “Are we going to go there again?”

  “Yes, we are. I want to know where you live. Do you live in a house? An apartment? What does your mom do for work? Why is your dad not part of your life?” The chill from the ocean breeze makes me shiver, and Jace grabs the blanket, draping it over me.

  “Okay, fair questions. First off, girls do not come to my house. I met this girl a long time ago with big blue eyes. She has a bit of an attitude, but she’s really pretty, so I let that slide. After I met her, I never looked at any other girl again. It’s like she put a love spell on me, so my house has a sign on the door that says, ‘No Girls Allowed.’” I shove him as he pulls me into him. “Nobody’s allowed but you.”

  “But, I’m not allowed either.”

  He huffs. “I live in an apartment. I have all my life. It has only ever been my mom and me, and I have no idea if my father is dead or alive. I never met him. My mom, Grace, has never really worked. I know she says she works at a local bar sometimes, but I don’t really know how she gets her money. Growing up when we had food in the refrigerator, she used food stamps to buy it. That’s all I know. She’s nothing like your sweet mom. We’ve never had any other family. She’s really…” he trails off, biting his lip.

  “‘She’s really’ what?” I ask him as he plays with my fingers.

  “She’s…”

  He’s struggling, so I just smile and change the subject. “Why do you call her Grace?”

  Jace swallows hard. “I do call her Mom sometimes, but she’s never acted like one. So, I call her by her first name.”

  That makes me sad. I don’t care how tough he tries to sound I can hear the disappointment in his voice. “Grace is a pretty name,” I tell him.

  He peers out into the water, heavy in thought. The bright pink glow from the setting sun fills the sky. It’s the only thing around us, creating a perfect place. Our perfect place.

  I don’t want to pry any more than I already have, so I just let the warmth of his body comfort me as I pray mine is giving him everything he lacks when he’s not with me. He gave me a lot more tonight than he ever has.

  “The sun is almost down,” he says, pulling me tighter against him. “You know, one day I want to give you this, Shay.”

  “Give me what?”

  “I want to give you a home on the beach. I want to give you everything.” He turns toward me, giving me his adorable smile that lights up his entire face.

  “We can be beach bums, and I’d be happy,” I say, falling back on our blanket. He falls back, too, and we both laugh.

  “Beach bums, huh?” Jace says, tickling my side.

  He stops his torturous tickling, and we look up into the night sky as the stars come into view.

  I LIE IN bed, dreaming of a little cottage on the beach. I picture Jace and me sitting on our deck, barefoot with sand between our toes, eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches while watching the sun set. I let myself dream of everything I want, realizing I only want Jace. He worries about not being enough, but all I want is to have a life with him. Now that he’s finally opened up, offering me a small glimpse of his life away from me, I know the only thing I want is to give him a loving home someday. Because when it comes down to it, no amount of money can give you happiness. You have to find that within yourself. I know Jace sees what I have and thinks the material things are a part of my happiness, but they’re not. One day he will realize that.

  One year later…

  SINCE SHAY’S BEEN busy with school, I’ve been taking advantage of the extra time to work because I need the money. I miss her, though, so I plan on surprising her by showing up at her school Friday night while she’s cheering at the football game. Because I usually work on Friday nights, I haven’t seen her cheer.

  I’m sitting in English class, tapping my pencil against the worn-out desk. My teacher is looking at his phone, not paying attention to anyone. We’re supposed to be reading. Bored stiff, I look up when my phone beeps with an incoming text. I quietly take it out of my pocket and flip up the top.

  Pretty Girl: I miss you. I hate that I can’t see you this weekend.

  I know after her game tonight, she is going out of town for the weekend with her family. She mentioned going to where her brother is on film location somewhere up north. She has no clue she will see me tonight. I know it’s not much since it will be brief, but we’re accustomed to that.

  Me: I miss you too. I love you baby.

  Glancing up, I make sure the teacher didn’t see me send the text. Just as my eyes scan toward his desk, a big smile plasters across my face from thinking about Shay, and I see Kayla looking at me. I hope she doesn’t think I was smiling at her. I mean, I don’t want to give her the wrong idea. She licks her lips, dragging her teeth over her bottom lip.

  Definitely the wrong idea.

  I look away quickly, sending another text to my girl.

  Me: You are the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Have fun at your game tonight.

  She texts me right back.

  Pretty Girl: You are the cutest boy in the whole world. I love you. I got to go. Xoxo

  Shay always makes me feel like the most important person in her world. Pocketing my phone, I look back up, and Kayla is still staring at me. Seriously, get a clue, girl. I’m not interested. I try to focus on English literature when I really couldn’t care less about this story. I just keep telling myself to get through it. I need that diploma.

  As the school day ends, I avoid Kayla at every turn. For some reason, she’s paying extra attention to me.

  AFTER SCHOOL, I worked for a couple of hours to try to find a part for my bike to get it up and running. I can’t have Shay dropping me off late at night or waiting on me again. On my way home, the apartment complex is quiet when I walk through the breezeway. Right away, I notice a note on the door. Grabbing it, I see in big, bold letters:

  EVICTION NOTICE.

  Shit.

  Doesn’t Grace pay the damn rent? Besides getting my bike running, I know another goal I need to set for myself: get out of this shithole. If things don’t change, I’m going to have to start paying the bills. I just don’t make that much, and I need my money to take care of myself. I practically buy my own stuff now as it is. Pushing the door open, I throw the notice onto the table, walk straight to the bathroom, and turn on the shower. I need to catch a couple of buses to get to Shay’s school, and I want to be on time.

  I make it to the first bus with time to spare, but the second bus breaks down. When does public transportation ever break down? Trying not to get crapped out, I pull out my phone and look at one of the pictures Shay sent me in her cheer uniform. She looks so pretty. I wish I could be with her every day, hold her hand at school, and eat lunch with her.

  That g
uy Cole pops in my head. I don’t like him. I hate the thought of him being around her every day. That should be me. But, here I am, taking two buses to see my girl. She won’t even know I’m there until the end of the game, and then I’m going to have to leave quickly to catch the last bus that comes through that area. Otherwise, I will have a long walk home down the streets of LA. I glance down at her picture. She makes me so happy. She makes everything that’s wrong feel right.

  Closing my cell phone, I lean back, letting my head rest against the seat. My mind wanders to our days at the beach, and I picture pink-painted toes running through the sand and smell her coconut suntan oil.

  I’m going to write our names in the sand. I’m going to make this dream our home. Taking a mental picture, I store it away, in the hopes that one day I can give everything to her. It’s as though the sand is that pixie dust she sprinkled around me when we were kids. I laugh to myself. That’s a hell of a lot of pixie dust to make our fairy tale come true. I might have to climb a fucking mountain to make it happen, but right now, I need this fucking bus to move.

  THE PARKING LOT is packed when I finally get to the school. Music is blaring from car speakers, and students are dancing around. It’s like High School Musical around here. I feel out of place in my jeans and white T-shirt since everyone is wearing orange and black, the school colors. As I make my way to the entrance, I stop. I totally forgot I would have to pay to get into the game.

  Shit.

  I only have twenty dollars on me, and thank God I have that. Henry gave it to me, even though I wasn’t due to get paid yet. I was hoping to have that for the week. As I walk up to the ticket line, the family in front of me buys their tickets. I hear the woman ask for two adult tickets and one student ticket. I don’t want to lie, but I need to keep as much money as possible. Next in line, I don’t hesitate.

  “One student ticket, please.”

  She never looks at me when she says, “That’s three dollars.” I hand her my twenty, collect my change, and walk into the football stadium right up to the top of the bleachers on the fifty-yard line.

  The stands are crowded. The scoreboard shows around ten minutes before the game starts, so I lean back and watch. Music plays over the speakers, and I see the cheerleaders making their way onto the field. I try to find Shay through the packed crowd. The student section starts going crazy, dancing and rooting for the team that is lining up and getting ready for the kickoff. That’s when I see her. I start to clap. I don’t know why, other than feeling the excitement I can see coming off her. Her long, wavy ponytail is swaying back and forth as she starts cheering. Damn, I need to get closer; I want to see her better.

  I slide down a few rows and plant myself in front of her, doubting she will see me. I’m right above the student section now, but I can see Shay just fine. Her full-blown smile makes her eyes light up. She’s chanting the cheer with that excitement in her voice I love.

  My stomach drops a little. This is what I miss. Everyone gets to experience her all the time.

  I hate it.

  I try to rid the thoughts so I can enjoy watching her when I hear an older lady talking to a man behind me.

  “Look, John. Shay has Cole’s number painted on her cheek.”

  I freeze and then swallow hard.

  “I see, honey, but are you surprised? Those two have been inseparable since they were toddlers. He’s so smitten with her, and always has been. He goes over to her house all the time. Those two will probably end up getting married one day,” the man says.

  I wince at his words and turn slowly to make eye contact with them. They’re not paying attention to me. The woman takes a picture of Shay. They must be Cole’s parents since they are both wearing a jersey with his number, twenty-one, printed on it. I look at his dad. Cole looks a lot like him—from what I can remember. Tall, athletic, and looks like an asshole. His mom is pretty, but I can tell she’s miserable.

  Turning back around, I try to ignore their constant praise of Cole. My mind is a cluster of emotions.

  Why would Shay have his number on her cheek? I can’t believe she has his number on her cheek.

  I seriously want to hit something. As I look down at my old Converse, I smell the expensive perfume over my shoulder. No matter what I do, I just can’t compete with this. I bring my gaze back to Shay; she’s laughing and cheering.

  All. For. Fucking. Cole.

  I feel like leaving, but I won’t. I won’t because I didn’t come all this way for Shay not to know I’m here. The only thing I can give her is my love. I need her to know that I will always be here for her. I might not be the fucking quarterback of Beverly Hills High, but I’ll be damned if she doesn’t know I’m here.

  After a couple of painful hours, the game comes to an end. Thank God. As soon as the clock runs out, I get up. I don’t know how much more I could have tortured myself listening to Cole’s parents gush about how perfect he is.

  Shay’s high school won, and I’m happy for her. I know how school-spirited she is. She’s involved in everything, but this is the first time I’ve seen it. The bleachers become a stampede of fans, all trying to get down to see the players. While I wait until the bleachers clear, my eyes don’t leave her. As she gathers her belongings, the parents and students congratulate the players on their win. When it’s clear, I walk down to the gate where the football players exit the field.

  My heart starts to beat uncontrollably, and I tense up.

  I see Cole come around the fence off the field and walk up to Shay. I’m close enough to hear, and what I hear him say to her has me ready to blow. He whispers against her ear loudly, “Ride with me to the party, Starkie.”

  “Great game, Cole,” she says, flinching and moving forward. He walks up to her, lifting her off the ground into a hug.

  “Ride with me,” he repeats, while she squeals from being picked up like a fucking rag doll.

  “Put me down.” She sounds like she’s joking, but I hear her tone. She’s not being sassy like she is with me. She’s serious. He laughs as he sets her down slowly against his body.

  I’m seething. My hands twitch as I clench them into fists.

  “You are coming to the after party, right?” he asks. It looks like she wipes her face.

  “Yeah, I’m going. I’m going with Jules. You’re all sweaty, Cole.”

  He gives her a sly smile.

  What the hell? She’s going to a party?

  I’m so pissed I think I’m going to explode. Making my presence known, I take off through the few people that separate us, bumping into a girl that was talking to someone as she walked backward. She turns around.

  “Sorry,” she says, openly checking me out. I look past her to my girl.

  I walk up to Shay, making sure to stare straight at Mr. Fucking Smooth. “Hey, pretty girl.” She turns around fast, almost smacking me in the face with her ponytail. With no hesitation, she jumps into my arms, straddling me.

  “Jace!” she yells. I glare at Cole while holding Shay tightly around me. That’s right, fucker. She’s mine. “What are you doing here?” she says excitedly.

  Turning around, I ignore everyone and start walking her away from the crowd to a quiet area. Holding me firmly, she has her face pressed against my neck. My heart skips a beat.

  “I wanted to surprise you.” I can’t think; I’m still seeing red, and her cheek with Cole’s fucking number written on it is pressed against me. I pull away from her, so I can look at her. “Do you love me, baby?” I say in a low whisper. Moving her face from my neck, she looks into my eyes. She doesn’t need to say it because I can see it. Her eyes always shine brightly when she looks at me.

  “More than anything.”

  That’s all I need to hear to calm me, but there’s one more thing I need to do to rid my troubled thoughts. I reach up and wipe his number from her face.

  “I don’t like you talking to that guy.”

  “Jace…”

  “Do you always paint his number on your cheek?”


  “No, I don’t, and if I do, it’s only a number. We switch out players all the time.”

  “I don’t want you putting his number on your cheek.”

  “Okay, I won’t. Now kiss me.”

  As I lean in, her sweet coconut scent surrounds me. It’s like home. Kissing her slowly, I taste every bit of the cinnamon gum she obviously was chewing. When we break the kiss, I ask her about the other thing that has me on edge.

  “What’s this after party you’re going to?”

  “It’s every Friday night after the game, but it’s only for football players and cheerleaders. I wish you could come, but girlfriends and boyfriends aren’t allowed,” she says sadly.

  My mind goes straight to thoughts of drinking. I can’t tell Shay what to do. All I can do is hope she won’t get caught up in the high school party scene. I don’t drink, because I know what it does to people when they abuse it, and I don’t want any part of that life. It’s bad enough I have to live with an alcoholic, but I’ll be damned if I become one.

  “Is there alcohol at these parties?” I ask. Her facial expression is thoughtful.

  “No, it’s not allowed, and even if it was, I wouldn’t drink.” I sigh in relief. “Jace, I don’t need, or do I want to drink alcohol. I want you to know that I made that choice for myself, and the kind of girl I want to be. I respect myself.” She pauses, giving me her pretty smile. “I also have a really hot boyfriend that I respect and love, and I know how much that means to him, too.” Reaching up, she kisses me on my cheek. I smile down at her before I capture her lips.

  “I don’t like it,” I calmly say, tugging on her ponytail just enough to make her giggle. I’m so jealous right now. I hate the thought of her at a party with all those football players, especially Cole. I swallow, trying to push down the words I want to say. I don’t want her to think I don’t trust her, but I’ve never worried about this stuff before. She’s got a whole life I’m not a part of.