The New Owners

by Marilyn S

  My new rule is that if I have not done something before then I am not supposed to do it until I have asked her. I think that will help.

  She says she thinks it is good for me to be sold by her. It will remind me of my place.

  She says Kevin is getting a special deal because he's her brother and he does not make a lot of money. But any new customers will be paying a lot more for me. That made me feel good and I think I am glad she did not tell me how much. Better not to know what I am worth. I can pretend it is a lot even though it probably isn't. And really it isn't any of my business.

  It feels Sooo much better to know she is making me do that because she thinks it is what I need. I think even when I was saying she didn’t care about me I kind of knew she did, but it is really nice to hear it.

  _____

  She wants me to give her all my money when we get home! Credit cards, bank card. I would not have access to my bank account as long as I live with them. She would pay my car payments and RSP and stuff and anything else I need.

  And the very first thing to go through my head was how hot it is. A woman I have only known for six months wants to take away my bank cards and all I could think of was how much it turned me on.

  This is truly crazy. I must be totally out of my mind to be even thinking of it. She says it’s my choice, but I think I am going to do it. This is absolutely nuts, but I am just going to trust her.

  Trust her. Why would I trust her?

  I don’t know. I guess because I really, really want to. Because she wants me to. Because I think it will make me even more like her slave. I mean, it is not like there is much money in my account but she will be able to do whatever she wants with my money every month. I suppose she could ring up my credit cards. I do trust her. The way she talks about how stupid Gwen is with her credit cards make me think she is probably pretty good with hers.

  Also, it has been a bit weird like when I had to pay for a dress I didn’t want but she paid for my hair. If I don’t have any money I won’t have a choice. I think I will feel even more taken care of. And maybe more exploited, too.

  I’m going to do it.

  Wednesday, August 09, 2000

  I just had my vibrator taken away because the noise was bugging her. I think I have come about a hundred times since we got here. I forgot what it was like to come every time, as often as I want. It is actually kind of sore from doing it so much so maybe she is right. The orgasms I have when I know I will probably not have another for a week are more exciting, more special. They make me more grateful.

  I think I actually prefer that, but it is really nice to be on vacation.

  It is so hot that she is taking away my money. It feels like I am falling deeper into a hole. I don't even know why it seems so hot. I guess I feel more like a prisoner. More exploited. And she will have so much more control.

  Totally turned on now.

  Thursday, August 10, 2000

  We went to an antiques barn and they had the most perfect old metal bed. It's kind of broken but I think it is going to be so perfect in that space. It’s totally a rusty old jail-rape-bed. Exciti-ated. Can I ask Kevin to help me set it up on the weekend?

  Thank you for letting me have my vibrator back. I promise I will try to masturbate more responsibly.

  I totally have my barbeque badge. Mr Barnabas showed me how to do the steaks on the special burner and they came out fantastic. Barbeque-girl!

  Oh, I forgot. My owner has started calling me “slave” sometimes – “slave, do suchandsuch” – I love it. Thank you, my owner.

  Friday, August 11, 2000

  While the clothes were at the laundromat I went to Zellers and bought a pink and white bikini. I don't like it but she said I won't be allowed to wear my one-piece on Girls Weekend so this is better than wearing hers.

  Mr Barnabas and I went for a river walk because she was reading. It was really nice. We don’t spend much time together usually. It's like he has a relationship with her and I have relationship with her but he and I are just... I don’t know, it's like we coexist. It was fun sloshing down the river with him. He showed me some deer and bear tracks. The neighbour’s lab was running around and we played fetch. So much fun. I feel closer to him now. Mr Barnabas, I mean.

  Saturday, August 12, 2000

  Mr Barnabas and I had such a nice talk on the drive home last night. He started asking me why I like doing all this and I really could not explain it but we talked about it almost the whole ride. He told me that he thinks it's totally awesome that she lets him have sex with me. That he thinks he is the luckiest guy on the planet to have such an amazing wife. He said he is glad that I have been getting off on feeling used because he really likes that too and he thinks that is what keeps it working for Mrs Barnabas. He likes that he gets to be completely selfish with me. He doesn’t do that with her and wouldn’t want to but loves that it's “his job” to be like that with me. It's that “just a pussy to come in” thing and as long as that is all I am to him then she won’t get jealous.

  I don’t think I really understood before now how much they are just stumbling through all this just like I am. He says she is all new to this but she always has a strong sense of what will work. He thinks the handcuffs and blindfold rule really helps him to keep a distance and remember what I am. They really help me, too.

  _____

  Kevin came over before noon and wanted to take me back to his place but I showed him the bed and I guess I was so excited that he said we could set it up first then christen it. So we went to Mr Barnabas' store to get the shelves and the wood and then to buy the futon and then he set up the shelves and I moved all the stuff out from behind the furnace. It took all afternoon so I kind of felt guilty about getting him involved. But we got it all done and set the bed up and it looks Soo awesome. Totally "prison rape". I feel like it is "my room". The dirty place behind the furnace where the slave is kept. Totally straight out of my fantasies.

  As soon as we were done he handcuffed me to the bed and fucked me. Not even a sheet on it. It was so nasty. I love being cuffed to the bed.

  He let me go pee after and then locked me back up and left me here with a blanket. I love it. Hidden away down here. A prisoner.

  At first I thought I would be bored but I'm not. It's really relaxing. Like there is nothing for me to do. Nothing I CAN do. I knew I should be making Mr Barnabas his supper but I couldn't because I was locked to my slave-bed.

  Please, I would love to be left down here over night sometime.

  Anyway, I could hear him moving around and watching TV and a long time later I could hear him talking to Mr Barnabas. Then they came down and Mr Barnabas got this huge smile on his face when he saw me. Kevin handed him my blindfold and went back upstairs so Mr Barnabas could do it.

  I don’t like that they have to let me loose every time to go pee.

  Now I am cuffed by my ankle to the bed so I can write. They brought me some pizza and a Diet Coke. And my vibrator.

  This really feels like I have somehow found myself in one of my favourite fantasies. I bet I have had a thousands orgasms pretending I was locked to an old iron bed in a dirty prison and men would come and fuck me whenever they wanted. But that was just a fantasy. One of those little stories I would tell myself but not something that I ever thought would happen. Or if it did happen I thought I would be so scared that it would be a nightmare.

  And here I am! And it is Sooo hot. And I am not a prisoner. I am a slave to a woman I love and who cares about me. And the men aren't horrible and mean, just selfish.

  I never knew selfish was so hot. I think it is my new fave thing. Men just taking what they want.

  Happy, happy, happy.

  Going to masturbate now.

  ___

  This isn't working. They keep coming down – I think during the commercials – to fuck me but they have to let me go upstairs to pee each time. In my fantasies I never had to worry about stupid infections. It really breaks the mood.

  Maybe
I could use one of those pee-things they have in the hospital.

  Sunday, August 13, 2000

  They let me sleep down here! They took my journal away to see how I was doing and then said I could. Kevin slept over. They let me up to make them breakfast and then Mr Barnabas went to work and Kevin showed me how to find porn on the internet. I should have got a computer at home years ago! You have to pay for a lot of it, but lots is free, too.

  It started out him trying to find a picture of the pee-buckets they use at the cottage in the winter but we couldn't find one. But he is going to try to buy one for me. I said I'd pay him back but he said it is his contribution to my prisoner fantasy. A pee-bucket. Such a sweet guy. It really is so much more thoughtful than flowers.

  Monday, August 14, 2000

  Haha. Just another cucumber day. Went to work. Came home.

  Kevin took me to the basement and fucked me. Cooked dinner. Waited on my knees for Mr Barnabas to get home. Let him stick it in my mouth. Serve them dinner. Got locked to my bed in the basement and wait for one or the other to come down. Tee hee hee - Just another day.

  I LOVE my life!

  The pee-bucket is not as bad as I thought it was going to be. It's just like using a normal toilet. It is actually just a little bit too nice for a proper prison effect but I am not complaining.

  He also brought some chain and locked one end to the bed and the other end around my neck. This is way better than the handcuff on my ankle. I can move around, get off the bed to pee, but I am still a total prisoner.

  I don't really like the sheet and pillowcase I bought at lunch. They're too new and white. I didn't get a top sheet because that would take away from the prison feel, but I can't just use the bare mattress and pillow so I guess they'll do.

  Tuesday, August 15, 2000

  I have been worrying all morning about girls weekend. I keep telling myself that she said it would be okay, but I can't stop stressing about it. Please, please, please don't make it bad. She said she won't but I really feel this is very important for me building trust.

  ___

  Gwen is moving in with her boyfriend. I asked Mr Barnabas if they would make me move back but he said he didn't think so. He likes having me here and he says she does too. I love being here, being their slave. And now I have my own slave cell so if I am in the way they can send me down here.

  I have moved my magazine box in here so I can look at it if I am chained.

  Kevin licked me for a long time tonight. I think if I could just relax it might feel nice, but I can't. I think I feel guilty when he is doing that. Like that should be my job, not his. If he likes doing it I guess I don't mind. Maybe men like doing that the same way I like sucking cock.

  I asked Kevin what turns him on and he says he mostly gets off on his partner getting into it. I asked him if he minded that I don’t come and told him that I am not allowed to. The fact is I have never had an orgasm with a man. I think I am too up tight. Or I am addicted to my vibrator. I guess I might be able to if I could use a vibrator at the same time but I think a man might find that insulting. Anyway, I never liked it when Kendal went down on me because it is too much pressure. I felt he would not be happy if he couldn’t make me come and I just ended up faking for him and feeling like I had lied to him.

  It's better like this. I will make sure I let him know how much I like it but if he knows I am not allowed to orgasm he won’t have to worry about it. Hey, I am just pussy to come in, right? Same as I don’t worry if my vibrator is enjoying it.

  I wonder if Mr Barnabas cares. Now that I know Kevin cares I will start showing him more. Not acting, just being more demonstrative. Up until now what I have been enjoying is not having to act at all. I thought Mr Barnabas liked that I was just a body lying there that he could stick it in. I usually end up getting turned on because I feel so used, but I liked that I did not have to act like I was into it at the beginning and that he would just do it anyway. That is exactly what turned me on about it. But maybe he would like it better if I acted just a bit.

  I told Kevin that I don’t really know what I am doing when I give BJs so he is telling me what he likes. Some things that I can do with my mouth or my hands, but also just showing him how much I enjoy doing it. I guess that’s the same. I do really enjoy it, but I never thought to show it. I think he gets off on me acting like a slut. It is hard for me to really let go but I am getting better at it.

  Wednesday, August 16, 2000

  I can stay! Yay! They talked on the phone and they are going to put an ad in the paper for the apartment.

  I miss Mrs Barnabas and Alyssa. I am soo glad I don't have to go back to living alone. I really feel like I am almost part of the family, now. Husband, wife, daughter, and slave. I feel very useful.

  Oh, I was doing the laundry and was sorting the clothes and I had this idea to put my sheet and pillowcase in with the darks. It worked a little. Definitely a little more grey. I am going to keep doing it until they look old.

  Thursday, August 17, 2000

  Well that was pretty weird. Bane came for dinner and then I went downstairs with him. But he was...

  I am not sure how much I should write here. It is kind of private and I feel like I should not be telling people this, especially since I know Mr Barnabas and Kevin will be reading this. But I don't want to start editing what I write, either.

  Please, just don't ever let him know I told you all this.

  He was having a real problem getting it up. I figured he was just a little nervous so I tried to be reassuring. He had me suck him for a while but it never got hard. But then he started talking loud to me as if it was hard and we were having awesome sex. I think he wanted the guys upstairs to think he is some great stud. So I have his soft penis in my mouth - which is fine, I really like sucking a soft penis - but he is saying things like "Yes you slut. Suck pink steel! Suck my trouser snake! Oh yeah!" Seriously, he said that. And what he was saying was so totally wrong for what was happening so I didn't know what I was supposed to do.

  I thought maybe he would like it if I acted like it was totally hot too, so I started making noise too.

  Then he faked an orgasm. He arched and bucked and made lots of noise like he was coming, but it was still totally soft and nothing came out. Then we went upstairs.

  I feel so sorry for him. I hope if he does start coming over he learns to relax. It was like he was so worried about what other people were thinking that he couldn't enjoy it. I know what that is like. I wanted so badly to tell him to relax, that it was okay, but I didn't feel like I could.

  It was so weird!

  Friday, August 18, 2000

  I was nervous about riding up with Charlene and Kerry. I thought it might be really awkward but they were friendly and acted like that party never happened. Of course I know we all know it did happen but we all pretended and the ride was okay.

  When we got here it all felt quite comfortable. I got them drinks and snacks and stuff but it just felt like I was playing hostess. Hopefully it will just be like this all weekend. I am fine with being a helpful hostess/maid. Just don't make me do it in the nude!

  On the ride up I asked why Miss Shona was coming Sunday and they told me she is a dominatrix. That makes so much sense. I think when Mrs Barnabas started reading my diary she probably started asking Miss Shona for advice and she has been coaching her. That sort of takes a little bit of the magic out of it, but if that is why she has understood me so well then I am very, very happy she has Miss Shona as a friend.

  Saturday, August 19, 2000

  Totally exhausted. They stayed up late drinking around the fire and then I had to get up with Alyssa. Breakfast and dishes and Alyssa and lunch and fetching drinks, another trip to the laundromat, and dinner, and they are already back out by the fire drinking.

  But it wasn't too embarrassing. The only weird thing was being the suntan lotion girl but even that was fairly small so I kind of liked it.

  I had been feeling a little guilty because I guess there
were a lot more girls other years and Kerry said that Shelly and Gwen didn't come because of me. But Mrs Barnabas said she doesn't care. She says that this is who she is and if they can't handle it she doesn't want them here.

  I wonder what it would be like to not worry about what people think about you all the time. To think that if people don't like you that it's their fault, not yours. Maybe that is why I am the slave and she is the owner.

  Sunday, August 20, 2000

  I felt like things changed when Miss Shona arrived.

  She speaks to me like I am a slave. Not bad. I actually like it. But it is embarrassing to have her speak to me like that in front of Kerry and Charlene. 2 out of 10 embarrassing, though. It was okay.

  After Kerry and Charlene left it felt totally different. Miss Shona and Mrs Barnabas got into this big convo about me. All kinds of stuff. Mrs Barnabas told her about Kevin and Bane. It sounds like she really intends to make me have 3 or 4 "customers". I hope I don't start feeling just totally disgusted with myself. They talked about spanking me and how it helps me cry. It sounded like it had been Miss Shona's suggestion. Mrs Barnabas remembered that I had not been spanked yet for "being a dirty slut" all week and asked Miss Shona if she wanted to do it. I didn't know how that would be. It seems like something my owner should do but I like Miss Shona and totally trust her. She is a little scary because she is so intense but I trust her.

  They also talked about the problems of living with a slave. Miss Shona says it is really easy for it to turn "vanilla" which means boring, like a normal relationship. She says Mrs Barnabas has to be very careful to not soften up on me and not let me slack off. I would not want that either. She says it is very hard to get it back once you let is slide.