The New Owners

by Marilyn S

  Anyway, then Kevin took me downstairs for a BJ and he left right after.

  I am not sure what I think of this whole thing now. Part of me really LOVES being treated like I was after the party and I think this is going to be a whole lot more of that. But it also feels like I am taking another huge step down. Like instead of just being some fun new experience it is going to become some daily obligation like doing the dishes. What if it ruins sex for me? Turns it into a chore?

  What scares me is that she is really committing me. Mr Barnabas says it is going be over a $1,000 to build a room in the basement for it because she doesn’t want her brother having sex in her bed but that means if I really can’t take being a hooker for her then they will have lost money. I feel really trapped.

  I thought it was funny that when she mentioned my UTI to Kevin and he asked, don’t I go pee right after sex, like doesn’t EVERYone know that. I think it is pretty funny that a guy knows more about stopping UTIs than two women but she doesn’t get them and no one ever told me.

  Wednesday, July 26, 2000

  Kevin came over for another BJ right after work. After he left she asked what took so long but I really didn’t feel like it was that long. I don’t want him to feel like I am hurrying him and we only talked for a couple of minutes before and a little bit after. It wouldn’t feel right to not say anything and just do it and then hurry him out. I think it might make him feel like I am only doing it because I have to, which I sort of am but I wouldn’t want him to think so.

  Please tell me how much detail you want to know about what happens with your brother.

  Oh, and she has been calling me at work every day recently. Sometimes to see if I need anything if she is going out, but mostly just asks how my day is going. I like it. It makes me feel connected.

  Thursday, July 27, 2000

  After she read my journal last night she told me that my job was to get a man turned on and get him to come as quickly as I can. I am not a $1,000 a night call-girl, I am not there to chit-chat. I am "just pussy for him to come in and then get out". She does not want me wasting too much time with him and she does not want to have a visit with her brother every time he comes over so I should show him out right after.

  Okay then. I mean, she told me weeks ago that I am “Just a pussy to come in” but I think I am only figuring out how serious she is about that.

  The only problem is I don’t know how I can make him come any faster than he wants to.

  Kevin came over after work. She barely even spoke to him. Just told him my pussy was better but not to take too long because I need to make dinner. I felt like such a slut following him downstairs knowing he was going to fuck me. Her “not taking too long” comment made it feel like this is Kevin’s “dirty business”, too. Something he had to get over with. Well that makes me feel as special as a dirty sponge, doesn’t it.

  He made me use my mouth at first then he put a condom on and I used the lube you gave me and then he made me bend over the desk and fucked me. At first I just felt like a machine but then I started feeling so nasty and used and it hurt and I got totally turned on. But then he came and it seemed a little awkward like there should be more or we should hang out, but I just shrugged and we went upstairs and I showed him out. She was in with Alyssa and he looked a little confused. It felt to me like I was really rushing him out the door and I think he felt it too so I said I was sorry. I hope he doesn’t think that either of us are mad at him.

  ___

  I was just sacrificing and have been thinking about doing it with Kevin. I really felt like “Just a pussy to come in”. I thought you’d want to know since that seems to be your main goal.

  Just a slave pussy. Who has to let anyone you say fuck me.

  Down in the dirty basement. Where I belong.

  I am fantasizing about being kept down here all the time. Chained to an old iron bed so men can come down and fuck me whenever they want. Not in a new room, though, it should be in that place behind the furnace where all the junk is. You make me quit my job but then say I have to have enough customers to make the same as I do at my job. All by the month. Doing it by the month really makes it feel like I am being rented out. Like an apartment. And So cheap. Just pay your rent and you can use her as much as you want.

  I am such a cunt.

  I think I better stop or I will have an accident.

  Friday, July 28, 2000

  Thank you for spanking me. I am not sure if I needed it because I have not been feeling bad about myself. But maybe it did work because even now that I have come I still feel okay about myself.

  I think Mr Barnabas enjoyed watching more this time. I felt so pathetic masturbating in the corner, but it made me come. I love it so much when you let me do it in front of you. And Mr Barnabas.

  No Kevin tonight. It is weird not knowing if or when he is coming. It's like no matter what I am doing I am always just a little aware that at any moment he might arrive and I'll have to let him do it to me.

  Saturday, July 29, 2000

  This morning was fun. They were having sex while I was changing Alyssa. I could hear her come and then she called for me. She said she had come but Mr Barnabas did not think he was going to be able to so I was going to help him. I put on my blindfold and lay on the bed like last time, very aware that my head was between her legs and that her pussy was on my hair, but this time she was holding my ankles so my legs were spread wide open for him. And she started talking really dirty to him about my hoohoo... my cunt. She told him to spit on it. She told him she has two cunts now and he gets to fuck both of them and does he like her new cunt. Then she pinched my nipples and stretched them until I was begging her to stop but she said I was being punished because he had not come. Then he started fucking me so hard and it was really hurting me but he came pretty soon and it sounded like it was a HUUUGE one.

  I don’t mind that they hurt me. It feels...

  I guess it feels like a different kind of sacrifice. I am pretty sure that seeing her hurt my nipples is what made him come and that makes it...

  I guess that makes it feel like a fair deal. It’s like the pain is a gift I can give them. A present he can use to get off which is a present for her, too.

  She is going to put a bed behind the furnace! Just like I was fantasizing last night. Kevin came and she asked him what he thought and he thought it would be hot (maybe really hot in the winter haha) but he was not sure about the chains. I know she said if he doesn’t like the chains or the dirty room she will change it but I really hope they like it. I really did not like this whole prostitute business at first but the idea of being chained to a bed in that dirty room sounds...

  I think I am going to love it.

  He made me blow him while he looked at my magazines. He said this was the best $200 he ever spent. At first I didn’t

  _____

  She just came down to tell me they are going to have another poker party but with only single guys and I am going to have to suck everybody. It’s Kevin’s idea to get more customers. I am going to be the Annie(?) and have to suck whoever wins each hand. All I picture is that machine/appliancey feeling I get sometimes. I think it might be lonely. Like all I’ll be is the mouth under the table and they’ll basically forget about me except when it's their turn. I guess maybe that will be hot though.

  It sounds totally crazy, but I just feel like I am kind of drifting at this point. She comes up with one crazy idea after another and I just let her do it. Yeah, sure, suck a bunch of guys at a poker party, of course. Why not? I guess it makes perfect sense when you are a slave.

  I thought of something the other day. There is this really profound sense of freedom being like this. Which seems weird since I don’t have any freedom at all. But it's like freedom from decisions. Freedom from worry. Have I said that before? I don’t remember.

  I used to fantasize about having to suck a bunch of guys at a party, but I would never had the guts to really do it. But now I don’t need guts. She decides and I j
ust go along. It is hard sometimes. Coming down here with Kevin the first night, both nights actually, felt so wrong and I felt like such a bad person to do it, but it's like that judgment part is in one room in my brain and I can just close the door and do what I am told and I actually really enjoyed it. I think I am learning that when I just do what I am told it usually turns out way better than I think it will.

  Oh yeah, and Kevin brought me some cranberry pills. His ex used to take them every day to prevent UTIs. He called her to ask what they were and she said they changed her life. I am going to try it!

  Sunday, July 30, 2000

  I wanted to work on cleaning up that area behind the furnace but she said I had to go visit my parents. Thank you, Mrs Barnabas. You are right, I did need to. Like I said, it is easier when I just do what I am told.

  Mom seemed kind of confused today.

  I am worried about this Girls Weekend. She says it won't be anything like that afternoon but I just keep picturing a whole weekend of that and it makes me want to cry. I really feel like I would run away if it was like that.

  I think I have a trust issue after that party. It's like when this whole thing first started I didn't trust her and then I got so I did and then she did that to me and I just don't know what she might do to me now. I don't like this feeling of being scared all the time that she might do something like that again. So far she has never done anything that she said she wouldn't and she says the girls weekend will be okay, but after that party I just don't know what she might do.

  Monday, July 31, 2000

  She has changed her mind about the party. Just said she did not think it would be a good idea. I don’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. I guess it doesn’t matter. Her choice.

  I felt fairly appliancey tonight with Kevin. I guess that is probably what it will be like most of the time. She didn’t tell him not to take too long this time but he still just stuck it in and did it to me. She doesn’t even tell me that he is coming so one minute I am changing Alyssa or doing the dishes and the next I am downstairs lying on the desk with lube on my hoohoo and my legs spread. The other times it was like a switch flipped in my head and instead of being bored I was totally turned on about being so dirty, but this time it didn’t happen and just hurt and I had to act as if I was into it so he would come.

  I don’t like acting. I feel like it is not fair to him. Like I am lying to him. But she wants him to “get off and get out” and when I was lying there bored he didn’t look like he was into it either really.

  I know I am not supposed to chit-chat, but I think it would be a good idea to ask him what turns him on so I can try to do that. It might make it easier to help him not take too long.

  And I certainly wouldn’t want him to feel he had not gotten his $6’s worth.

  August

  Tuesday, August 01, 2000

  I feel like it is a “cucumber day” but that seems funny since my...

  What is she? Was thinking about that a few days ago. I really liked when Miss Shona called me her “slave”. It really does feel like that the way I do all her housework. And especially now that she is making me have sex with her husband and her brother. It is pretty hot. It is like something out of one of my old fantasies. Is that how you see me, too?

  But if I am her slave, what does that make her? My Master? Mistress, I guess. That sounds dumb. Pretentious. Maybe just my owner. Mmm, I like that. I feel owned. I like feeling owned. It makes me feel safe. Cared for.

  Haha. I was going to say that it seems funny to not have anything particular to talk about on a night that her brother came over and fucked me on the desk and then, after I had dinner on, I was waiting on my knees for her husband to come home and stick it in my mouth, but that is like every night these days. Weird how quickly things like that can become so regular that they aren’t worth writing about.

  I was going to sacrifice now thinking about what I had to do for Kevin, but I think I would rather think about you being my owner.

  Wednesday, August 02, 2000

  It's weird being here alone. I am sitting at the table eating my dinner. That should be such a normal thing but it isn’t. I think I prefer eating quickly at the kitchen counter after they have finished than sitting at the table in an empty house. This feels just like the old days when I came home to an empty apartment every night. It never really bothered me except when I am eating dinner. The fork always sounds so loud on the plate when you’re eating alone. Loud and lonely.

  I’m glad I don’t live alone any more. I really feel like part of this family. The slave, but still a part of the family.

  I miss them all.

  Kevin will probably come by later but I never know. I think it will feel weird to be alone with him. I guess because there will not be any hurry.

  I am really looking forward to going to the cottage again. And NOT just because she says I am allowed to come as much as I want because it is my vacation, haha. I am a little worried about driving there by myself but I am sure it will be fine.

  I am also a little worried about being home alone with the two men the next week. Not about them but about how I will feel. What if I start feeling bad and you are not here to spank me? I guess Mr Barnabas could do it but it feels like our special thing.

  And also because I got in trouble last time.

  Oh well. I am sure it will be fine.

  He came. He wanted to do it in their bed but I knew she would like that. So then he wanted to take me to his place. She never said anything about that. I made him let me think about it for a few minutes, but he said it would okay with her and I could not see any reason not to. I really hope it is okay.

  Anyway, it was fine. It did feel very different because there was lots of time and we were at his place. He went down on me but I don’t really like that. It feels icky. Or just “wrong” somehow.

  But we had sex twice and the second time it was long and I really liked it. I think she is happier if I don’t like it, if I just feel used.

  Thursday, August 03, 2000

  Kevin was waiting when I got home from work and wanted to take me out for dinner. I have been feeling unsure about going to his place last night and I just thought this might be too much so I said no but that I could make him dinner if left-overs were okay.

  When I was heating it up I decided that it was the right decision. I know she does not want me to get too friendly with him and I would rather say “no” to him than make her mad. He wanted me to sit at the table with him but I wouldn’t. I think that is what she would want. I don't like it when she is not here to make decisions like that.

  After, we went to his place for a couple of hours.

  Friday, August 04, 2000

  Very happy to get to the cottage and to be with them. It feels like longer than 2 days. When I was rubbing her feet it really felt like I had come home. Like I was back where I belong. I LOVE that feeling.

  Saturday, August 05, 2000

  I love hearing them doing it through the wall. It makes me all nostalgic for when this all started.

  She says I should not have gone to Kevin’s without her permission but she was not too upset. It is so confusing when she is not there. I don’t know what she wants and I guess I just want to make people happy. It is just so much easier when she tells me what to do and I don’t have to worry about...

  I don’t have to think. I don’t have to over-analyze.

  Now I am worrying about next week. Couldn’t you just tell them not to do anything you have not already let them do?

  They’ve gone for a hike and Alyssa is sleeping so I am going to give myself as many orgasms as I can.

  Sunday, August 06, 2000

  It was a cucumber salad day today. Haha.

  I am getting my gas barbeque badge. I lit it all by myself! Very proud. I burned the veggies a little but the chicken was good.

  Monday, August 07, 2000

  They have all gone to the beach but Mrs Barnabas won’t let me wear my 1-piece and I can’t
wear her yellow one in public so she left me behind. When they went for their hike and into town I felt good about being able to babysit so they could have some alone-time. But this just makes me feel like a loser. I don’t have the body for a bikini so she will not be seen with me.

  I just came thinking about being too ugly for her to be seen with. Thank you for being mean to me. I really think that sometimes you know what I need more than I do. Sometimes not as much, like the ice tea party. But not being allowed to go to the beach because I can’t wear a bikini makes me feel like such a loser but the kind that makes me come.

  Tuesday, August 08, 2000

  We just had the best talk. All about me being her slave. We have never actually said that’s what I am but she totally thinks about me that way. She says she loves owning me and taking care of me and making sure I get what I need even when what I need is something I don’t like. I love that. I love that she knows what is good for me and that she is taking care of me. I really feel like she does.

  She says that is why she is renting me to Kevin. She says that the money is nice, but that she would never do something that was bad for me just for money. But she doesn’t think I will get laid enough if all I get is Mr Barnabas when she feels like sharing.

  Next Thursday I am supposed to have sex with that sleazy Australian guy, Bane. If it goes okay he may be my second customer. I wish she was going to be there. But if I am feeling bad I will be coming up here on Friday anyway and she has been pretty specific about what I am and am not supposed to do so I hope it will be okay.