The New Owners

by Marilyn S

  Mrs Barnabas says that she is learning too. No matter how good a slave I am I can't be in two places at once and at least for now she thinks it is more important to her that I keep my customers happy.

  She said that while I am free to leave any time I want, she feels as if I have really become part of the family, too, and that she loves having me as her slave – which made me *sooo* crazy happy. Then she said she and Mr Barnabas have come up with an awesome long term plan for all of us, that she is very excited about it, and they are depending on me to do my share and, at least for now, that means keeping my customers very happy.

  I asked her what the plan is but she told me slaves do not need to worry about the big picture, they just need to do what they are told. I am very curious about the plan, but I think she is right. Now that I have thought about it I am happy not knowing. Just do what I am told. You can't know how much better my life is now that you decide everything so I don't have to worry. I mean, I still find things to worry about, but SO much less than I used to.

  Life is so simple now. Serve dinner or have sex with men I barely know? Not my decision, I just do what I am told.

  whore

  cunt

  owned slave cunt

  Tuesday, September 12, 2000

  I love my new oil can! Mr Barnabas got it from work. It is a little red metal can with a handle and a long spout and he says it is made for machine oil but mine is filled with lube. That is so hot, but it also makes it so easy to just pump a few squirts inside me where I need it.

  You know, I really appreciate how much everyone takes care of me. As soon as I mention that I have a problem – like the lube not getting inside or my UTI or needing to pee – one of the guys finds a solution. That really means so much. It is like they use me like a whore, but they take care of me, too.

  I also love my new schedule. It means I get to serve tea and make dinner without worrying about being interrupted. As soon as the kitchen is tidy I can go do my make-up and still have time get into the mood so I am wet by the time the first guy comes downstairs.

  I feel different about all this it now that she has told me it is an important part of her plan. It feels just a little more like a business, but not in a bad way. I found myself just thinking more about making sure each one was happy.

  Maybe part of it is that I had four customers tonight. They were using my old "masturbation chair" as a waiting room and as soon as one left the room the next guy came in which made me feel more like a business. I'm thinking that maybe the best thing I can do is make each guy feel as if he is special and that I am particularly happy he, of all my customers, has come to fuck me. I know she likes it better if they just use me, really impersonal, but she also said I should make them happy and as far as I can tell, Steven is the only one who really gets off on it being impersonal. I really think they would find it more satisfying if they feel a personal connection with me and each one feels that I particularly love sex with him.

  Wednesday, September 13, 2000

  Mrs Barnabas was at her class tonight so at dinner I told Mr Barnabas I want to make my customers happy and asked him if he had any suggestions. He says what he likes is a girl who is enthusiastic. That's what Kevin said a few weeks ago, too, so maybe most men like that. He also told me it has to be real because he would hate it if he was having sex with a girl and thought she was faking.

  The oil can works great! You can't get it inside with your fingers and when I try it gets on everything and makes a mess and it itches on the outside. Squirting right inside makes everything slide so much better and no mess except what leaks out and it means I can get it ready ahead of time so I am ready to go.

  Thursday, September 14, 2000

  Glenn was my first visitor last night and he brought these leather handcuffs and attached my hands to the bed above my head. They are soo much nicer than metal handcuffs because they don't dig in. Not as prisony, but they feel really nice. Then he tied this ball thing into my mouth and started licking me. But he didn't do it the same as other guys have. It wasn't like a kitten lapping but really slow like he was teasing me and oh my G_d it was driving me totally crazy. And the more turned on I got the less he did it until I was pulling at my arms trying to get to him. It was soo hot! He never did try to make me come which I think is the part I don't like when guys do that because I feel pressure and like I am taking too long and going to disappoint them.

  After he fucked me he just left me cuffed and gagged which I loved. I felt so vulnerable, naked and defenseless knowing other men might come down and find me like that. And they did and they seemed thrilled to find me like that so they just did it and left me. I felt like such a whore just lying on my back with guys climbing on and off me.

  _____

  Wow, I am so busy these days. I had 4 customers last night and I have already had 3 tonight. G_d, I am such a whore! But I am happy when I get visitors and I am still loving having all this sex after so many years without. And I had enough for a latte this morning and I already have $2.07. Whore.

  They seem to have worked out that if the door is closed then the guy gets privacy but if he leaves it open the other guys can just come in and join. Merv and Anthony are the only ones that seem to prefer privacy. Which makes me wonder...

  _____

  Merv. Another busy night.

  Darn. 7 cents short. But with all this action my hoohoo feels fine so yay for the oil can! I just give it another little squirt after someone leaves so I am ready if someone else comes.

  Which makes me wonder what "Love You Long Time Sunday" is going to be like this Sunday with seven of them all day. Mr Barnabas is off this weekend and she has told them they can hang out and watch the Olympics so I think it may be a very long day for me. Even with the oil can I may be in trouble. I guess this is where I find out if I can handle it. But I am not worried. I know she will take care of me.

  Wow, last page!

  It boggles my mind everything that has happened to me since I started writing this. November 4th. Not even a year. It's embarrassing to read those first entries now.

  Haha. Just think how embarrassed I would have been then to read the stuff I write now! Especially if I knew that people would be reading it!

  I feel like such a different person. A better person.

  Well, maybe not morally better, hahaha. But at least happier. I feel like I was all twisted up in a knot back then and now I just...

  I just am. How zen. But all that stuff I used to stress about just doesn't matter any more. Life is so simple when someone else is deciding everything for me.

  Even the stuff I was stressing about her last spring doesn't bother me. Maybe that part isn't because my life is so simple now, but because of this journal. Because I have written down every retarded thought in my retarded, neurotic brain and she has read it all and...

  My aunt Michelle used to say that your family are the people that know everything about you and love you anyway. Well she knows EVERYthing about me and loves me anyway, so no wonder she feels like family.

  Haha. I want to write more but my new notebook is over on the desk. I can see it. Maybe someone will come to fuck me and could bring it to me. And give me the 7 cents I need, haha. Oh, the problems of a chained sex slave.

  Eleven Years Later

  April 12, 2011

  Hope you enjoyed reading all that.

  i found it in an old box when i was cleaning the basement and brought it upstairs, but after reading a little bit, it was just too icky so i stopped. But one of my customers started reading it while he was waiting for his turn and asked Mistress if he could post it online.

  i really did not like the idea of them posting it at first And even more as i started entering it all onto the computer. It was SO hard reliving all that. i had forgotten what it is like to have my skin crawl from embarrassment but reading all this made it happen all over again, except this time it was not the kinky things I was doing but because I was such a whiny idiot back then. (I hope it was "just ba
ck" then cause if I am like that now, shoot me.)

  But i really am very different now. i am proud and happy about what i am now and i wouldn't be where i am now if i had not gone through all that. i so totally love my life. And my Mistress. And the rest of our family, and being a whore. So fine, if they want everyone to know what an idiot i was, i guess i should be grateful to them – and to you - for making me just a little bit more transparent. i didn't think i could be any more transparent, but i guess there is always something. Every new person to read this is one less secret i have from the world.

  i still live with them, but i am back in my old apartment now. The kids got too old and they needed more space when we had another baby. She made me keep working until the mortgage and the addition were paid off, but now i am a full-time slave/whore which i totally love. She makes all the arrangements with the men and it is still all by the month. There is a 5 button code locky thing on the door so they can just let themselves in. When She changes the code i know i have lost a customer, but it is sometimes hard to figure out who is not coming by any more. Not really my problem. i like that anyone who knows the code can come in whenever they want and have whatever they want.

  i still really like that men are willing to pay money for me. Its hot. And it makes me feel good about myself and if that is pathetic well i don't really care. And you know what? i am a really good whore, now. i know i am. Hey, i am 43 years old and some of these guys have been coming to me since the beginning so they must be happy with me, because there are lots of younger, prettier girls than me.

  Or maybe She is just selling me cheaper than them, LOL.

  Whatever. i totally love what i do and really try to be just what each guy wants. i have learned so much. And it makes me feel good to know that i can make so many men happy. Some of them are pretty old now and where else would they get it? I sure get more job satisfaction doing this than I did in my old stupid job!

  There is a door from my bedroom into theirs now, so i usually sleep in bed but am right there if they need anything. And i can hear them really well, too, ha ha. Even better than through the stupid wall.

  i love my Mistress so, so, SOO much!

  People on FetLife talk about how hard it can be to maintain the D/s dynamic, but we don't seem to have a problem. i still do all the house work and i still feel total gratitude that She lets me. A lot of my submission revolves around gratitude.

  Oh, and She canes me now which She didn't then. i think that helps. Some people enjoy pain like that, but i don't. It's horrible. But i really like how it makes me feel afterward. Focused. And small. And owned.

  Eleven years. Wow. You know what was almost the hardest thing about reading all that again was remembering how incredibly lonely i was. i so love being part of this family. And a lot of my customers are friends, too. Sometimes they just come for coffee.

  Reading all that again really made me appreciate even more how lucky i am to have found my Mistress. i could so easily have gone through my entire life the way i was, totally oppressed by my kinks, a twisted up, painful, knot of repression, and never known what it was to be...

  Happy, i guess. To be completely me. For these past ten years i have been living a life i didn't even dare dream about when i started that journal. A crazy life, but it makes me happy.

  LOL i think the ONLY thing i really miss from those days is my filthy, rusty old prison bed behind the furnace. That was the hottest thing ever. Maybe when Jeremy moves out in another ten years.

  Time to go start dinner.

  - marilyn

  marilyns68@live.ca