Risk

by Baylin Crow

  “Damn it,” I growled as I missed another block and took a mock shot to my ribs.

  “Asher! Get your head out of the clouds, boy. What’s the matter with you? You can kiss your belt goodbye if you don’t get your shit together. You have less than a month,” Pete yelled from the side of the mats. His face turned a dark shade of red I’d never had personally aimed my way until now.

  I wanted to tell him that my head was in the game, but that would be a lie. And I couldn’t actually tell him what was on my mind. Drew being Pete’s nephew had turned into more of a problem than I’d expected. He was right though. This fight was important to me. I’d been gearing up for it for months, and that was where my focus needed to be.

  I’d been at the top of the food chain, so to speak, for years now, and this kid, Capley, coming onto the scene actually had the potential to take it from me. Even though I’d been up against some guys who were pretty good, this new kid was taking them down left and right, working himself right up to challenging me for the title.

  Shaking my head, I got back to it.

  “That’s more like it. You better keep it up, or Capley will yank that title right out from underneath you.”

  His words fueled my determination, and by the time I was done for the day, I was covered in sweat, drops rolling down my body and landing on the mats. I’d exhausted myself finally and it felt good. This was the feeling I lived for.

  “Pete!” Drew’s voice called from half across the gym. While I looked his way, he didn’t even spare a glance at me. I frowned and wondered if we’d made a mistake we couldn’t come back from with that kiss.

  The drive here had been quiet. He’d stared out the window while his leg bounced repeatedly, leading me to believe he was uncomfortable around me. I didn’t like that but wasn’t sure how to fix it.

  “What’s up?” Pete asked, much more pleasant now.

  “Mags’s on the phone for you.” Drew looked expectant on what he should tell her.

  “I’m coming,” Pete responded and turned back to me. “You done today? I don’t want you to burn yourself out.”

  “Yeah, I think I’m done.” I looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was five minutes until nine anyway, so I grabbed the towel to wipe off my face and run it over the top of my head. “I’m going to hit the shower and get out of here.”

  “Okay, see you in the morning,” he said, heading toward the back offices. Drew followed behind Pete after casting me a quick but unreadable look.

  “Later, Pete,” I said back.

  Grabbing the water bottle I had set to the side, I chugged the entire thing on the way to the locker room, crunched the bottle, and tossed it in the trash. I quickly stripped out of my shorts and wasted no time getting under the water, not even bothering to let it heat up first. The cold water felt good against my heated skin. I did a quick once-over with the standard unscented soap and then just stood there under the spray for a few minutes.

  Every shower I’d taken since the first night Drew had stayed at my place reminded me of his naked body through the foggy glass. Before the fantasy could go too far, someone else came in, and the water in the next stall turned on.

  “What’s going on with you today, man?” It was Brody. He seemed to always be around and not minding his own business.

  “Not sure what you mean.” I turned the water off and wrapped the towel around me.

  “You didn’t seem with-it today is all.”

  “You should pay more attention to your training instead of mine, and maybe one day, you’ll be as good as me.” I winked.

  “Whatever, dick.” He scowled. “I was just asking.”

  “Just an off day, I guess. Nothing to worry your pretty little head about.”

  I threw on the clothes from my bag and headed out just as he said something about me being on my period.

  Drew was leaning up against the wall when I stepped into the hallway and glanced behind me. “Do you need a tampon?” he asked with raised brows.

  “You both are fucking hilarious.” I glared his way as if I was actually pissed, but my lip twitched, betraying me. He smiled, but it was fleeting. Sighing in frustration, I hooked the straps of my bag over my shoulder. “Are you ready to go? I was going to grab a bite and then head home. You riding with me?”

  He’d been riding with me every day. I’d even adjusted my training times to work with his shifts, and now I wasn’t sure if he was going home with me, much less riding with me. I shouldn’t have kissed him.

  “Yeah, if that’s cool,” he said, not meeting my eyes, but I felt a weight lift knowing he was leaving with me. Maybe things were salvageable and we could still be friends. A friend I wanted to fuck, I mentally added.

  Giving Drew my best “only friends” smile, which meant I didn’t eye him like he was a juicy steak I wanted to sink my teeth into, I asked, “You hungry?”

  “I could definitely eat.” He peered up at me with those ice-blue eyes, and finally met my gaze.

  My lip was going to bleed if I bit it any harder. How the hell was I supposed to be just friends with Drew when, every time he looked at me, I wanted to back him up against the nearest wall and show him how good I could make him feel?

  Brody chose that moment to make his exit. “Whoops, didn’t mean to interrupt,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows.

  “Shut up.” I scowled and helped him along with a shove to his back. He looked over his shoulder, blowing kisses at us.

  Drew tensed next to me.

  “Chill out. He’s just being Brody,” I whispered.

  We waited until he left to follow behind, locking the doors even though Pete was still in his office. Once in the truck, I went to shift into reverse when Drew stopped me by placing his hand over mine.

  “Can we talk for a second?” He looked at his hand over mine and yanked it back. That stung, but I played it off.

  “What’s on your mind?” I left the car in park and twisted my body so I was facing him. He shifted in his seat to do the same.

  “Last night, I…” His mouth opened and shut several times, and his eyes dropped to his hands where he was fidgeting.

  A knot formed in my stomach at seeing him struggle. My smile was tight before I said, “Don’t worry about it. Nothing happened so there’s nothing to talk about, right?”

  “Yeah, exactly.” He exhaled a long breath. I couldn’t tell if he was relieved or disappointed.

  While it frustrated me to have him react so strongly then refuse to admit or even acknowledge it, I had to give him space to process. If he’d never thought he was gay or bisexual, the sudden attraction to a man might be difficult to handle. Personally I didn’t get it. People were attracted to other people, didn’t make much difference whether it was a man or woman. And if he never wanted me in that way, I’d still want to be friends. The idea of standing by, watching as Drew dated, tightened the knot it my stomach.

  After a minute of silence, Drew spoke up. “So this is kind of awkward, but Claire has a thing for you.” He laughed, sounding more like himself. “She said she’d kill me if I didn’t introduce you two soon.”

  I smiled, glad for the change of subject. “You can have anyone over any time you want to, Drew. It’s your place too right now.”

  He seemed to relax a little. “Then just take this as your warning. She can be a handful.”

  I could think of a few things I wanted a handful of but none of them had to do with Claire. Still, I wanted to meet his best friend, now that I knew that was all there was to their relationship.

  “Like I said. Any time.”

  We finally got on the road, and the rest of the ride was filled with small talk, and even though we avoided the elephant in the room, I was glad things seemed to be returning to normal.

  We’d decided just to order in, and once we were settled on opposite sides of the couch, food in our laps, we started a movie.

  About twenty minutes in, my phone buzzed with a new text message. When I looked down and saw who it wa
s, I was tempted to avoid it, but I couldn’t.

  “Saturday 8pm, her name is Tinley.” Jerry had set up another date to protect my reputation.

  What was his deal with all the T names? No wonder he got them confused. My phone buzzed again, this time with the woman’s address. I sighed in resignation.

  Drew looked away from the TV. “Everything okay?”

  “New date,” I grumbled.

  He frowned and looked away. “That sucks, man. I’m sorry.”

  Tense silence filled the room for the rest of the movie, and as soon as the credits started rolling, Drew excused himself.

  So much for things returning to normal.

  Muttering a curse, I sank back into the cushion and wondered how my life had gotten so complicated.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  DREW

  Since the night of the storm a few days ago, I found myself watching Asher more often than I should. Just the little things he’d do while he was cooking in the kitchen or hanging out on the couch. But the gym was the worst.

  When I’d catch glimpses of him throwing punches or lifting weights, I couldn’t help but notice the way his muscles bunched and tensed with every move, his skin shiny with sweat. I tried not to look, because I was afraid that my face would give something away. I didn’t need anyone questioning me when I was barely beginning to accept the fact that I was possibly bisexual.

  I had no problem being gay, bisexual, whatever, if that was what this was. But it didn’t make sense that, until Asher, I’d never had a reason to question it. Why him? I’d even looked at some of the other guys at the gym, trying to see them that way, to see if anything sparked, and it just didn’t.

  My stomach growled, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. I rummaged through the kitchen, finding the makings for a sandwich. While I was adding a slice of cheese, Asher came strolling down the hall. My body stilled when I saw his attire. He was dressed to go out—dark jeans that hung low on his waist and a black button-down with the sleeves rolled up, showing off some expensive watch. And good lord, he smelled amazing when he got close enough. I’d never paid much attention to the way guys smelled, but Asher made me want to bury my face in his neck to breathe in his spicy scent.

  “Hey,” I greeted him. “Going out?”

  “Yeah, for a little while.” He usually asked if I wanted to go, but not this time. “You doing anything tonight?”

  I shrugged. “You’re looking at it,” I said and took a bite of my sandwich.

  He nodded, stuffing his wallet in his pocket and grabbing his keys out of the bowl. When someone knocked on the door, I couldn’t miss the smile that broke across his face as he went to answer.

  When he pulled the door open a guy with light brown hair, long enough that it brushed his shoulders, smiled back. My stomach fell through the floor, and the bite I’d swallowed threatened to make a reappearance.

  He was going on a date? I mean, of course, he must date somehow, but I hadn’t seen it until now. And when he’d said new date and didn’t seem happy, I’d assumed it was one of the women he was set up with, not a man. Not an actual date.

  Jealousy reared its ugly head, and when Asher’s date glanced over Asher’s shoulder at me and frowned, I glared even though it was a dick move. He was the kind of guy most would consider handsome. Obviously good enough for Asher to take out and that only pissed me off more.

  Asher followed the guy’s gaze. My expression must have reflected my mood, because Asher frowned too, but dismissed me easily. Without another word, he turned and clasped the guy’s shoulder and pushed him back out of the door, shutting it firmly behind him. He hadn’t even introduced me, not that I wanted to know the guy, but ouch.

  I couldn’t eat any more so I tossed the rest in the garbage. I needed to get my head on straight because this couldn’t be happening. I needed to make a decision. Did I want him or not, and even if I did, was I too late? What if that guy and he went out and hit it off?

  Maybe I needed to find a woman who could take my mind off this insane attraction I had to my roommate. I padded down the hall to my room and picked up my phone to text Claire but saw a text from Brody instead.

  “Still on for tonight?”

  I’d forgotten it was Friday and I’d told him I’d go out with the guys. Wanting to be anywhere but here, obsessing about whatever Asher was or wasn’t doing, I responded instantly. “Yup, where?”

  He texted me back the place. It was too far to walk, so I’d have to take a cab. After that, I texted Claire and see if she wanted to go too.

  The mattress sank with my weight as I sat. “Want to meet up for drinks?”

  Her response came seconds later. “Tonight?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Crap. Can’t.” My brows furrowed. Maybe she had to work?

  “Because…”

  “Because none of your business.”

  My eyes narrowed. Since when did we start keeping things from each other? Not that I had any right to be angry, but I didn’t have to like it.

  “This have to do with the new guy?”

  When we’d gone out, I’d gotten her to fess up that she was seeing someone. I didn’t know who was more shocked, her or me. She hadn’t dated anyone since the boyfriend who’d gotten me arrested.

  “Maybe ;)”

  “Seriously? Who is he?” She’d have to tell me eventually. Why not just get it over with?

  “I already told you, you don’t know him and I’m not ready for you to meet him.”

  Like the hypocrite I’d apparently become, I couldn’t believe she was keeping something from me. I flopped onto my back and threw one arm over my head.

  “Why?”

  “Because we just started dating and I like this one.” While I wanted her to be happy, the fact that she was possibly considering something serious with this guy made me uneasy, like the dynamic of our relationship was changing. It’d been me and her for so long.

  I reread her response three times before typing back. “I don’t believe you.”

  “I had a hard time wrapping my head around it too.”

  I snorted, but I wanted to meet this guy. After the last one, I hoped this was one of the good guys. “You think I’m going to run him off or something?”

  “I’m rolling my eyes right now.”

  “It’s like you’re ashamed of me. Now I’m crying.” More like pouting, and she’d tell me so too if she could see me.

  “Whatever. Talk later. I’m about to leave.”

  I sighed as I set the phone down on the bedspread next to me. Between my confusing feelings for Asher and Claire joining the dating scene, everything seemed off. If someone told me this was the situation I’d find myself in a few months ago, hell, weeks even, I’d have laughed my ass off.

  My thoughts drifted back to the man at the door, Asher’s date, and I gritted my teeth. It was pretty clear at this point that there was something about Asher that my body wanted. I groaned. There was something about Asher that I wanted. Even when it wasn’t sexual, I liked being around him.

  “You happy now?” I yelled at myself. And now I was crazy too. A long sigh left me and I stared up at the ceiling. Even if the way I felt was crazy, it didn’t change the fact that I wanted Asher.

  But even if I acted on it, I’d have no idea what I was doing. It was like being a virgin all over again, except this time, I was way more nervous. A humorless laugh escaped me, and I rubbed a hand over my face. Fuck. My indecisive shit had been too much for him, and now he was out with some other guy. That was the only thing I could come up with.

  Enough of this pity party. If Asher was over me, then I was over him.

  With that thought in mind, I got my lazy ass off the bed and did a quick change into my stonewashed jeans and new blue T-shirt. Once I made it downstairs, I hailed a cab and was on my way to getting over this confusing shit.

  “Where ya headed?” The cab smelled like dirty feet and the driver’s accent was so strong I barely understood him,
but he had a kind smile. I felt like asking him what he could possibly be so happy about but remembered I was the one in a shit mood.

  I grumbled the name of the bar, falling back onto the cracked leather seat.

  Twenty minutes later, the pub’s neon sign was a welcoming beacon that promised to take all of my worries away. Tonight, I was done thinking about Asher.

  I paid the driver and hopped out of the cab. After taking a deep breath, I went inside and grabbed a seat at the bar.

  “What are you having?” The sultry voice matched the woman across the bar.

  She resembled a pin-up model with her blond hair curled and pinned back, black around her eyes drawn to large points on the sides, and red lips. Her tits stretched her top to its breaking point. There was a time I’d have tried to flirt my way into her pants even though she had to be a few years older. She wasn’t doing it for me tonight though. My lip curled and a brittle laugh broke free. I didn’t recognize myself anymore. The only person I wanted was out on a date not thinking about me at all.

  “A mind eraser.” How fitting. After checking my ID, she tossed me a flirty wink and turned to go. “Better make it a double,” I grumbled.

  “Sure thing, love.” She winked again. No wonder the tip jar in front of me was full.

  When Brody showed up thirty minutes later with two other guys from the gym, I’d had two shots and was working on a beer. Everything was going to be okay. I was on my way to feeling good. After a few more beers and a game of pool, I was drunk and didn’t fucking care. When I’d left the apartment, I hadn’t planned on getting drunk. What are you gonna do? I shrugged and laughed to myself. I’d save the regret for the morning.

  Brody gave me a light shove and chuckled. “Think it’s time to slow down there, chief.”