Hush (Just This Once)

by Deborah Bladon

Her bottom lip quivers when I offer her my apology. She looks pale and tired. I won’t tell her that because I’ve known enough women in my lifetime to know that some take offense when offered an unwanted opinion.

  “You were scared.” She looks into my eyes. “You did nothing wrong. Whatever I felt was because of stuff from my past. That’s not on you.”

  She’s kind. I pushed her to reveal details about herself that were incredibly personal. The woman doesn’t know my last name or where I work yet I know that she’s suffered through a painful experience in her pursuit to have a child.

  “Let me make it up to you.” I look over at the large paper cup that the barista is pushing toward her. “I can take you for something to eat.”

  Her hand falls to the front of her coat over her stomach. “My dad and I must have eaten some bad fish. We both picked up a trace of food poisoning. I’m sticking to tea for today.”

  I pick up the cup and put it in her hands. “Do you want to talk? I have a couple of hours before I need to be back at work.”

  She looks up at the circular clock that’s hanging on the wall. “You have to go back to work at eight? You are a doctor, aren’t you?”

  I see no reason to hide behind a veil of mystery anymore. The scale of information between us is unbalanced. I need to right that. “I’m a surgeon.”

  Her gaze falls to my hands. “That’s why you’re so good with your hands.”

  I welcome the playfulness more than she could ever know. “They’re gifted.”

  “I’d agree with that.” She sips the tea. “This is hot. We can sit while it cools and then I’ll head home.”

  I’ll take it. The lead weight in my gut is finally disappearing. I know she’s okay and willing to talk to me again. Suddenly, everything feels right in my world again.

  ***

  “So you’re a hockey fan?” I arch a brow. “Why does that surprise me?”

  She exhales audibly. “I grew up in a home with three brothers and a dad who loves sports. I had no choice but to get invested in it.”

  I laugh. “When you put it like that, you probably know more about the sport than I do.”

  She circles her palm around the bottom of the cup in front of her. “I haven’t followed it as closely as I used to. Work keeps me crazy busy.”

  It’s an opportunity for me to ask the question I’ve been dying to. I have her pegged as an accountant or executive. She’s always sharply dressed and I’ve never seen her in this café without her leather briefcase in her hand.

  “What do you do for work, Chloe?”

  Her eyes widen as she picks up the cup and takes a drink. She holds it next to her lips a moment too long. I know she’s contemplating whether she should answer the question or not.

  I rescue her because I don’t want a repeat of our last conversation when I pushed for more than I should have. “If you’re not comfortable telling me, it’s not a big deal. I just keep imagining you as an accountant.”

  “An accountant?” She laughs through the question. “I’m not an accountant. I’m a lawyer.”

  A lawyer. It’s impressive.

  “You look surprised,” she goes on. “I’m sorry that I had to destroy all those accountant fantasies you’ve been having.”

  It’s my turn to chuckle. “Not a problem. I’ll jerk off to images of you in a courtroom now with fuck me heels on and an attitude.”

  “Fuck me heels?”

  I tilt my chin down. “You’re wearing a pair today.”

  She is. They’re red and high. Her shoes are the perfect accent to her black blouse and pants.

  “I didn’t realize they were called that.” She leans back to cross her legs. “I’ll be thinking about that the next time I wear them to court.”

  “What type of law do you practice?” I push for more because I crave details about her.

  “It’s my turn to ask a question.”

  I’m mildly disappointed that I didn’t get more out of her, but I’m content. “Ask away.”

  She considers what she’s going to say before she finally opens her mouth to speak. “Rangers or Islanders?”

  I wasn’t expecting that. I was prepared to tell her my last name when asked, but if she’s more interested in which New York-based hockey team I cheer for, I’ll tell her. “Islanders.”

  “Me too.” Her mouth breaks into a wide grin.

  I take a leap with my next question. “Do you want to go to a game with me sometime?”

  “You’re serious?” She props her elbows on the table. “I haven’t been to a game in years.”

  “I’ll make it happen.”

  I will. I’ll grab a pair of tickets from Jack and convince Jordan to cover for me at work. I had no idea when I got to this café today that I’d be leaving with the promise of a second date with Chloe. Things are definitely looking up.

  Chapter 26

  Chloe

  “Why haven’t you asked him for his number?” Gabi bites into an apple. “I don’t get it. You two are practically dating, Chloe. It’s time for him to step up to the plate and hand over his number.”

  It doesn’t bother me that I don’t have Evan’s number. I ran another search online after he told me he was a surgeon but it drew another blank. I’m done with the fishing expeditions.

  “I like that it’s uncomplicated,” I admit. “There’s no expectation about when he’ll call. I never feel disappointed if he hasn’t called in days. It’s just easier if we keep numbers out of it.”

  “Easier?” she mocks my tone. “You just told me that you meet him at a coffee shop in the mornings. You only know sparse details about him. For all you know, his real name is Greg and he’s a trapeze artist.”

  I’ll take that to mean that she’s fucked a man named Greg who likes to hang in the air.

  “Aren’t you the one who is always telling me that if something isn’t broken it doesn’t need to be fixed?” I take a tentative bite of the apple she gave me when she walked into my apartment. “What Evan and I have is not broken.”

  “It’s not broken,” she agrees quickly. “It’s just really fucked up.”

  “Why does fucked up have to be a bad thing?” I ask with a laugh. “If I like him and he likes me, I don’t see any reason to change anything between us.”

  “You’re heading down a slippery slope at breakneck speed.” She wraps the apple core in a paper napkin. “This is going to end with you hurt. I feel it and it breaks my heart.”

  “That’s not going to happen.” I wave away her comment with a brush of my hand against her knee. “Sooner or later it will run its course and we’ll both walk away with no baggage and absolutely zero regret.”

  ***

  Evan pins his eyes on me. “Can you even talk? I thought I cheered loudly but you’re something else. I’m surprised you haven’t lost your voice.”

  I push against his side with my elbow. “It’s a proven technique to help with player motivation. Don’t tell me that you’ve never heard of it.”

  He stops to pull me close to him. We’re on the sidewalk outside the café. We ran into each other here more than twelve hours ago when he told me that he had tickets to tonight’s game. He apologized for the short notice, but I was excited.

  I met him back here after I went home from work to change into jeans and a white sweater.

  We laughed when we took off our coats in the hockey arena and realized that he’d chosen a white sweater and jeans too.

  “You’re beautiful.” His lips skim over mine. “How can a person be so beautiful inside and out?”

  The words catch my breath just as much as the kiss does. It’s romantic and unexpected. It’s also near midnight and as much as I’d like to find a room so we can spend the next few hours together, I don’t want our perfect second date to end in an uncomfortable bed in an hourly rate hotel.

  “Come home with me, Chloe.”

  I almost lose my footing when I hear those words. It’s an invitation I wasn’t expecting and now, I’
m unsure whether I should accept or not. This is unchartered territory for the two of us. I repeat the question back to be certain that I heard it correctly. “You want me to go home with you?”

  He kisses me. It’s tender and filled with desire. “I want you in my bed. I want to smell you on my sheets. I want you to see where I am when I’m dreaming about you.”

  Do I want that too? I think I do.

  I know I can trust him. He didn’t have to tell me about the broken condom but he did. He could have fucked off and avoided me for eternity. That’s not hard to do in this city.

  “I’ll go home with you,” I say against his lips. “I can’t wait to go home with you.”

  Chapter 27

  Evan

  There are times when I readily admit that my dick gets the best of me. That’s not what happened tonight. I want Chloe to see where I live. I need her to understand that I value her and I can’t convey that if I keep taking her to cheap motels for sex.

  I can’t do that anymore. I knew before I met her at the Roasting Point Café that I’d ask her back here.

  My heart skips a beat when we walk through the door and into the apartment. I know it’s not a palace by any means. She doesn’t strike me as the type to judge.

  “It’s cold.” She tugs her coat tighter around her. “Did you leave a window open?”

  I huff out a laugh. “I turned the heat down when I left.”

  She nods as she watches me cross the room to adjust it. “I do that too sometimes. I figure why should I heat an empty space? It makes no sense, right?”

  How the fuck is she so perfect for me?

  “I’d rather use the savings to buy you a dozen pink roses.” I point out a bouquet sitting atop my kitchen table. I put them in a large beer glass that I cleaned up and filled with water. “I was hoping you’d say yes when I asked you to come here.”

  Her gaze volleys between the roses and my face. “Those are for me?”

  I nod. “I tracked your brother down at his gym one morning. It’s fucked up. I know it is but I needed to know what flowers you liked.”

  She moves to the table and bends down to smell the roses. “These are beautiful. I can’t believe you had them here waiting for me. You knew I’d come home with you, didn’t you?”

  “I hoped.” I stalk toward her. “I’ll never assume anything with you, Chloe. I like that you’re unpredictable.”

  She gifts me with a small smile. “You think I’m unpredictable?”

  Our eyes meet and hold for a beat. It feels like time stops. “I think you’re incredible.”

  “I think that about you too.” She narrows the space between us with a few short steps. “I like your apartment, Dr. Evan.”

  “I love that you’re standing in it.”

  She perches on her tiptoes to give me a soft kiss. “Take me to your bed.”

  ***

  His big body hovers over me as he fucks me with long, leisurely strokes.

  We’ve been in his bed for hours. I took him in my mouth before he was even able to get completely undressed. He didn’t come. He stopped me by pulling me up to my feet and pushing me onto the dark sheets.

  That’s when he removed my clothing, piece-by-piece. It was torturous when he rained kisses over my skin. He moaned through words of appreciation for the shape of my breasts and my hips.

  I begged him to fuck me because I was so wet from his touch and those words.

  When he sheathed himself and entered me, it felt like my chest caved in. There was a burst of something unfamiliar. It might have been fondness or more, but it was everything in that second.

  “I could stare at you like this for hours.” He ups the tempo and my body responds instantly with a circle of my hips up toward him.

  “I wouldn’t complain if you did,” I whisper back as I watch the way his lips part slightly with each thrust of his cock inside of me.

  He throws his head back with a deep growl. “I feel like you were made just for me. Our bodies are so perfect for each other. God, it’s so fucking good.”

  I can’t speak. I’m nearing the edge. I can feel my body heating and my pulse racing.

  My eyes close and I listen to his breathing. Heavy breaths laced with the subtle nuance of a grunt. It’s raw and animalistic.

  I cry out when the orgasm hits me. I say his name because I want him to know that he’s the reason I feel so much. He’s the man who has helped me heal and made me trust.

  He ruts into me with steady, even strokes as I come around his cock.

  “My turn,” he whispers against my neck. “I need it hard tonight, Chloe.”

  I nod as my pussy clenches around him.

  A noise breaks through our labored breaths. I stall him with two hands on his biceps. “Evan.”

  “Fuck.” He pumps two more strokes before he pulls back and settles on his knees between my legs. “My phone. I have to get it. Shit, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  I feel bereft but I don’t say anything as he pushes himself to his feet and grabs his jeans from the floor. He fishes in the pocket for his phone and with his back to me he answers in a tone that’s barely more than a whisper.

  “This is Dr. Scott. What is it?”

  Chapter 28

  Evan

  When I turn back around after the call, Chloe is already on her feet. I move toward her. I know she heard my name but why the fuck would I care about that? I just had the best sex of my life in my own bed.

  She knows where I live. I don’t see any reason not to tell her my surname.

  “Do you need to go?” She bends down to pick up her panties. “I’ll get dressed.”

  I push both of my hands through my hair. “We have time. I don’t need to leave yet. The patient is being monitored.”

  She doesn’t stop what she’s doing. Once the panties are on, she finds her bra. “I should still go. It’s late and I have a lot to do tomorrow.”

  “It’s Saturday,” I point out as I adjust the bra strap on her shoulder. “Your boss doesn’t force you to work weekends, does he or is it she?”

  She sighs. “I work for myself. It’s a small practice. I’m building it up slowly.”

  This woman is a force of nature. It’s impressive. It’s damn impressive that she’s betting everything on herself.

  “Can I use the washroom?” She shifts from one foot to another. “That soda I had at the arena is catching up with me.”

  I laugh softly. “It’s across the hall.”

  She starts toward my bedroom door but before she’s halfway there she drops to both knees.

  “I feel so…” Her left arm moves behind her in search of me.

  I’m there. I drop to my knees too and pull her next to me. “What’s wrong? Tell me what it is?”

  “I’m so dizzy.” She rests her head against my chest. “I feel really dizzy.”

  “I need you to try and stand up.” I inch up to one knee. “Lean on me. Just lean your entire body weight on me and I’ll take care of you.”

  She nods without any hesitation before she slowly gets to her feet. “I didn’t have much to eat today.”

  “Your blood sugar is low.” I help her back to the bed. “Sit here and I’ll get some juice. Promise me you won’t try and stand.”

  Her eyes meet mine and I know she instantly sees all the concern I feel for her. “I’ll wait right here for you.”

  I jog to the kitchen and fill a glass with orange juice. I’m back next to her in less than two minutes.

  “Drink this.” I push the glass toward her. “Drink it all.”

  She nods as she brings it to her mouth and takes a large swallow. “I haven’t been that dizzy in years. I think the last time was during chemo.”

  Time stops. I’m pretty fucking sure my heart does too.

  Chemo?

  I look down at the floor because you can’t say that word to me and not expect me to press for more. It goes beyond the fact that I’m a fucking doctor. I know the brutality of those treatments. I
watched someone I love try to fight her way to the other side in one piece.

  “What brand of orange juice is this?” she asks after she takes the last sip. “I like it.”

  I can’t fucking remember. How the hell would I remember that? I buy the cheap stuff and shove it into my fridge so I can down a glass between shifts.

  I want to ask about the chemo but that moment has passed. I’m not even sure she realizes that she let the word slip.

  “Do you need to go be a surgeon now?” She hands me back the empty glass. “I think I’ll be fine now.”

  “I’ll take you home on my way.”

  She’s saved by the bell. Literally. My phone starts ringing again.

  Fuck that thing.

  I pick it up from where I tossed it on the bed. “What is it?”

  I hang my head as I listen to Kylie rattle off a series of numbers that should be making sense to me. I can’t focus. All I can think about is the fact that Chloe had chemo at some point in her life.

  “I’m leaving now,” I say brusquely before I end the call.

  “I’ll be fine to get home on my own.” Chloe stands and puts her hands on her hips. “I’m good as new.”

  I look at her face. Jesus. All I want is to tuck her in my bed and keep her there. This woman has been through way too much in her life already.

  My phone starts up again. I want to smash it against the wall but I can’t. I fucking can’t because I need to get to work so I can assist Kylie in surgery.

  “I’ll get dressed and find my way home.” Chloe leans forward and kisses my cheek. “Thank you for everything, Evan.”

  Thank you for storming into my life. I ache to say the words but I don’t. Instead I answer my phone and watch her get dressed before she walks away.

  Chapter 29

  Chloe

  “Can food poisoning last a week?” I take a seat on a bench in Central Park. “I was queasy again today.”