Cry For You_A Second Chance Romance

by Shaniel Watson

  “You’re in one of those preppy asshole fraternities. Yeah, I know you.”

  “Whatever,” he replies, smile gone, straightening his shoulders to his full height. An inch and a half taller than Landon, but not too far from the same size. He turns his head back to me in a dismissive gesture to Landon. “Baby, if you ever want to step up and have that dance—”

  “The next words out of your mouth better be goodbye or I’m going to put your fucking teeth through the back of your head.”

  With perfect timing at a desperately needed moment, Trigg and my sister walk up, and he lays a hand on Landon’s shoulder. “Problem?”

  The guy smirks, but it’s plain to see he’s oozing anger. Saying nothing, he tips his head toward them but takes one last look at me before walking away, blowing a kiss. Landon lurches toward him, causing me to yelp in alarm. Trigg grips his shoulder, thankfully halting his move. “Let it go, man. He’s just some rich asshole who thinks he’s entitled to whatever his eyes land on. You know the type—not worth it. It’s your girl’s night.” He smiles at me and winks.

  As jittery as I feel after that close encounter, I smile. Maybe Shay sees something in him that we can’t.

  Landon is vibrating with anger. “Let’s leave.” I can tell he really wants to go after that guy, but he doesn’t. Thank God.

  He takes my hand, putting the water down on the counter. I was so shaken I didn’t even remember holding it. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Happy to see you.” I push up on my toes and pull his head down to me for a kiss.

  He smiles against my lips. “I’m glad. I will protect you with my life, Lacey McQueen.” That unfortunate run-in over, he takes me back to his off-campus apartment that he shares with Trigg. Trigg and Shay follow behind in her car.

  I broach the subject as we walk through the door. “You know I didn’t want to ruin it at the bar and say anything but—” He cuts me off.

  “Your birthday was two months ago. I know, but two months ago I didn’t have this job, and I couldn’t afford anything for you but a cupcake.”

  “Don’t you knock that cupcake. It was the best fucking cupcake I’ve ever had.”

  “Listen to the mouth on you. Dirty, dirty mouth. I believe I’m becoming a bad influence on you.”

  “I believe so.”

  “I believe so, and I like it. Come here.”

  He grabs me by the waist, pulling me into his room and shutting his bedroom door. We fall back on the bed in a moving, tangled heap of limbs, clawing at each other’s clothes, out of breath. Rolling over me, he pushes my legs apart, pulling down my skirt and underwear with my help, throwing them across the room. I wrap my legs around his hips. Kissing each other with frantic, wet lips, he helps me take off my shirt and bra.

  His finger slips inside me, wrenching out a long moan between kisses. He trails his lips down my body, under my belly button, until he reaches the spot I want him. My eyes close and my body raises up, feeling each stroke of his tongue. The slide of wet against wet. All I can do is hold him against me, the tension within me both beautiful and unbearable.

  He keeps going: fingers, tongue, mouth, teeth, lips on me as I get louder and louder with each pass of his tongue, until the release hits me, and he presses his mouth tight to me. I open my eyes as he kisses his way back up to me.

  I have to say it. It’s not by choice, it just is. “I love you.”

  “I have something to show you.”

  I cradle his head in my hands. “What?”

  ”Don’t move.” He sits back and takes off his shirt, and right there, scrolled across his heart in a beautiful script, is my name, with a thin, fancy line underneath that looks like lace. The tears flow, and I sit up and place my lips over his heart, right against my name.

  “See, Lacey baby, I can always tell you I love you. But I want it across my heart where you and everyone can see, for life. I love you.”

  I wipe my eyes, and he kisses the tracks my tears have made down my cheeks. The best night of my life. He takes off his clothes and nestles his body between my legs. We hear a sound coming from over our heads.

  “Yes, yes, oh, yes!”

  I shake my head at the horrendous noises of my sister and Trigg. I start giggling, and Logan bangs loudly on their shared wall. “Shut the fuck up, motherfuckers! You’re ruining my moment.” Which turns my giggles into uncontrollable guffaws.

  Even Landon can’t maintain the moment when Trigg yells “Boom!” and my sister screams, “That’s the Trigger, Lace!”

  “Hey! She doesn’t want to hear about his trigger. What is wrong with you? Shut the fuck up!”

  “I love you,” I say, this time with tears of laughter.

  “Your sister is a nut.” He shakes his head, bending down to kiss me as we laugh.

  Now

  The next day, Shay is again outside with Jacob, trying to teach him how to ride his bike. I come outside and put my hands in the back pockets of my jeans. I watch Shay let go of his bike seat, and Jacob swings wildly back and forth before tipping over again. I’m not happy about this, but I know the only way for him to learn is if you let go. A few more narrowly averted wrecks, and I decide to put a stop to it.

  “That’s enough, time for dinner.”

  “Aw, Mom. Not yet, I almost had it.”

  “I saw. Which means you’ll get it next time, since you’re close.”

  “Aw, sometimes you’re no fun, Mom.”

  “Yeah, Mom. Sometimes you’re no fun,” Shay mimics him, making a face at me.

  “Hey, I was fun mom last weekend when I took you to the New Mexico Land of Enchantment fair. I let you sample every flavor of cotton candy. Ten!”

  “That’s why I said sometimes, Mom.”

  “The sometimes when I don’t let you have your way?”

  “Yeah.” He smiles.

  I laugh. “Get yourself into the bathroom and wash your hands.” He runs off, and Shay and I join mom at the kitchen table.

  “I have a surprise for you,” Shay says to him a few minutes later, as we’re eating.

  “What is it? A new set of trucks?” He looks up expectantly.

  “Better.”

  “What is it?”

  “Remember I said when I have time off I was going to take you to the most fun, loudest, muddiest place you can go to crash cars and trucks, as big as King Kong—”

  “Monster truck smash rally!” He bounces in the chair, eyes lit up like it’s Christmas and his birthday, all rolled into one.

  “Heck yeah, we’re going!”

  He’s chattering on and on about what he’s going to see, if he can touch the trucks, and the one question that has him nearly levitating out of his seat with excitement is “Can we drive in the trucks?”

  “We’re in, kid. I’m tight with some of the guys. I’ve worked on some of their cars. Not the race ones though.”

  I love seeing my kid happy. He loves his Aunt Shay. She loves him to death and would do anything to make him happy. She’s the cool aunt, which is great. It truly comes in handy for me. I don’t do dirt or worms. I‘d rather deal with a garden snake.,as absurd as it sounds. Shay can deal with the worms.

  “Can Jackson come? Please, Aunty Shay.”

  Oh nooo.

  “I don’t see why not? Sure. If it’s fine with your mother, Grandma can set it up. She usually does the playdates set-up.”

  “Grandma, you can do that. Mom, can he come?”

  “I don’t know…”

  “He’s my best friend. Pleeeease.”

  Oh, Lord. I look over at my mother. Her head slightly tilts and eyebrows go up. I hear what the look says. That’s Mom code for “I told you” without words.

  “Jacob, I don’t know. His parents—”

  “But, Mom—”

  “Hey, if it’s a simple matter of one or both of them accompanying their kid because they don’t know us from a hole in the wall, no problem. I have it covered. I can get more tickets.”

  “You’re t
he best, Aunty Shay. I love you!” He rounds the table, hugging her tight in his little arms.

  “Aunty Shay to the rescue again. Problem solved,” she declares with a bright smile.

  I wish it was. She doesn’t know the spot she put us in on behalf of making her nephew happy at any cost.

  He unlocks his little arms from around her neck and heads away from the kitchen. “Where do you think you’re going?” I ask. “You’re not done eating.”

  “Yes, I am.”

  “Vegetables.”

  “No one likes brussels sprouts, Mom.”

  “Plenty of people do.”

  “You don’t. You only like them ‘cause you’re a mom. They look like little alien heads. Yuck.”

  I’m striking out left and right here.

  “Can I go to my room? I need to get ready for bed so I can tell Jackson about the monster truck show tomorrow.”

  “Go ahead,” I say with a sigh as he runs off before he can hear my answer.

  “What’s with the faces? It’s a truck show, just harmless fun. How uptight are this kid’s parents?”

  “You don’t get it, Shay.”

  “Enlighten me. What’s to get?”

  “Mom, would you?”

  “You should. I’m going to help my grandson take a bath and tuck him into bed before I go upstairs to my apartment.”

  Elbows on the table, I put my face in my hands and exhale noisily.

  “What the hell is going on? A little dirt never hurt anyone.”

  I get up and scrape my plate into the garbage. “You should just make this an outing for you and Jacob alone. Bonding time.”

  “We bond all the time. He just made a new friend he talks about nonstop. He had a rough time last year adjusting to school and making new friends after being surrounded by adults and being the center of attention. I’m just happy for him.”

  I bite the side of my lips, pressing them together. He hated school for the first six months. He hardly talked to any of the other kids. Every day he would ask, “Why are we going back? When is it going to be over?” He was killing me with that and the eyes and the crying. Not fun times when I have to be the mother who says, ‘Sorry if you don’t like it. You’re going anyway.’

  “I know what it was for him. I was crying in the mornings after I dropped him off.”

  “Then it’s settled. We both want him to be over-the-moon happy. Call this kid’s parents up and invite them—even better, you can come too. It’ll probably be less awkward for them than sitting next to the tattooed lady in all black that’s screaming at the top of her lungs to smash the shit out that truck.”

  “No, I’m sure it won’t be.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Jacob’s new best friend Jackson, they’ve nicknamed each other the two Js—”

  “That’s cute and catchy,” she says with a smile.

  I’m going to wipe that smile off. “Jackson’s father is Landon.”

  “Landon who?”

  “Which other Landon do you know?”

  “Get the fuck outta here.” She sits back in the chair, stupefied.

  “No, I live here. You get the fuck out of here.” I turn, placing the plate in the sink. I turn back, and faster than lightning, she’s standing in front of me. Stealthiest move I’ve ever seen.

  “How are you? Are you okay?” Her face contorts in concern. “If I would have known, I wouldn’t have opened my big, fat mouth. Oh, my God, Lacey, I’m so sorry. I’m such an idiot!”

  “No, no, no, stop. You didn’t know. I didn’t know. Who would know?”

  “How are you, for real?” She puts her hand on my arm. “Talk to me.”

  “I’m dealing. It was touch and go when I first saw him, but I got it together in a hurry. Managed to wait until I got home before I had a cleansing cry.” She puts her hand over mine, squeezing in reassurance. I pull my hand out, covering hers with mine. “Shay, I’m fine. Really, I am.” I’m better than I thought I would be. “You don’t need to worry about me. I’m not going to break.”

  “I know.”

  No, she doesn’t.

  I tell her about the meeting, and what he said to Jacob.

  “That’s all he said?”

  “What else was he going to say? I was standing there, prepared for a disgusted look or remark, but it didn’t come.”

  “Well, I’ll give him that. Nothing else. He was wrong.”

  “Shay.”

  “He was wrong for what he did to you. He left you without a moment’s hesitation. Not even a thought.”

  “Shay—”

  “He went off, left you, and had a kid with the first girl he met up with. How foul is that?” “You don’t know he did that.” I move away from her, picking up the dishrag on the side of the counter.

  “He has a kid, Lacey, who by a sick twist of fate is now the best and only friend your child has. Are you going to let this friendship continue?”

  “What am I supposed to do, Shay? Rip him out of school from his best and only friend, like you said? I already nixed that when Mom brought it up.”

  “Mom and I are on the same page. But no, that wouldn’t work. It would devastate Jacob.”

  “Yes. We’ll have to deal with it.”

  “You mean you’ll have to deal with it. It won’t affect us the same way.”

  True, it won’t.

  “Are you sure you can do this? Things were serious back then. It took years to get over him.”

  “I know. He’s married to Jackson’s mom.” She tries to pull me closer for a hug, but I refuse, holding up my hands. “It’s fine. He moved on with his life long ago—the day he walked out, leaving us behind. He seems happy; it’s good.”

  “Sure.”

  “Our lives didn’t turn out too bad. We’re also happy,” I remind her, toying with the rag.

  “Yeah, we are.”

  “Jacob is the love of my life, of our lives. The best part of my life. No regrets where he’s concerned. There’s no mistake in that choice, and I get confirmation of that every day.”

  She smiles faintly, and I wonder what she’s really thinking.

  All right, big guy, time for bed.”

  “Ahh.”

  “I know, sucks being a kid with a roof over your head, ready-made food whenever you’re hungry, a warm bed to sleep in, and parents who love you more than you know. Man, that sucks.”

  “I didn’t say it sucks. I like it. Just not the going-to-bed part.” He jumps on his bed, slipping under the covers.

  “I’m glad you cleared that part up. You want a story tonight?”

  “Sure.”

  “How about the boy who cried wolf?” I ask, flipping through the books on his bookshelf.

  “Nooo. Remember what happened last time?”

  “Oh, yeah.” In the middle of the night, he slipped into our bed on my side, on about an inch of space. I don’t know how he managed to stay on. Then he peed the bed. He was embarrassed enough to make me promise not to tell his mom.

  I sit next to him, settle in, and put my arm around him, opening the book that’s guaranteed not to give nightmares, Good Night Moon. I start and finish without an interruption from him. I kiss him on the head. “Good night, buddy.” I’m about to get up when his words stop me.

  “Dad.”

  “No more water. No more stories,” I say, with my I mean it voice. “Anything else?”

  “Do you still love Mommy?”

  Whoa. “Why would you ask that?”

  “Why don’t you sleep in the same room anymore?”

  Oh, man. I didn’t think he noticed. He goes to bed way before we do.

  “You’re grumpy a lot and then she gets angry. Then you leave and go to work. You come back when it’s time to read the story.”

  Shit. I try to keep my face neutral.

  “You don’t love her anymore?”

  “Of course I love your mom.” I love her, but not that way. How am I going to explain this to him? In his little mind, it’s e
ither you do or you don’t. If I don’t, it’s the end of the world to him.

  “Why are you not in the same room anymore?”

  “Jack…your mom and I love each other, and we love you. Sometimes mommies and daddies don’t agree on things, and we need our own little…spaces for a time to think.”

  He thinks about it, his brows dipping low then coming back up. “Like a timeout for adults who don’t listen?”

  I give a half-hearted smile. “Yeah, something like that. We need an adult timeout to figure out what we want. To try and hear what the other person is trying to say.”

  “Oh.” His mouth opens in a circle. “Are you leaving?”

  “No. I’m not going back to work tonight.”

  “Okay.” He smiles, closing his eyes and burying his head under the sheets, his way of keeping bad things out at night since he was two and started sleeping by himself. “Love you, Daddy.”

  “Love you, too, Jackson.” I shut the light off, leaving the door open a crack.

  You think you’re doing right by your kid, being careful with your decisions. On nights like tonight, I question myself.

  “Hey, Bree, have a second? Can I come in?”

  “You don’t need to ask. It’s your room, too, so is the house.” She puts her book in her lap and sits up in the bed.

  I nod, walking in, sitting beside her. “You know how we’ve been keeping things normal around here, for Jackson not to notice things are changing?”

  “They’re only changing because you’re—I’m still willing to try.”

  “Bree.”

  She sighs. “Things are the same to him. They haven’t changed much.”

  “They’ve changed enough. He noticed.”

  “How? We haven’t said anything to him, and his schedule is the same for now.”

  “After the bedtime story, he asked me why we weren’t sleeping in the same room. He wanted to know if I was leaving, because I always leave at night. He says you’re not happy, and I’m angry.”

  “God, Landon.” She runs her hands over her face, brushing her hair back. “He shouldn’t have to see this. His parents…it’s not fair for him. I thought we were doing good, keeping our crap away from him. We suck. I use to think we were good parents. Not.”