Sharing Hamilton

by Diana Rubino

  “I'm sorry, my dear, but we cannot talk here and now. I have clients coming in all day and must work late into the eve.” He began to nudge me out, with a light swat on the behind.

  “Alex, I'm getting divorced. Aaron Burr is handling it,” I said over my shoulder as he led me down the hall, towards the back of the building.

  “Would you rather I handled it?” We stood at the end of the hall, close enough to kiss, yet he didn't make a move to show any further affection.

  I laughed. “Talk about conflict of interest! No, I'm fine with Aaron Burr.”

  He opened a door and held my arm to usher me out as I babbled, “When will you come see me? James has been with his mistress.” I refused to depart until I got a promise from him for our next meeting.

  “As soon as I can. Now I must get back to work.” He opened the door and a chilly breeze blew stray wisps of hair into my face. “I'm sorry, Maria, but tis best you exit this door and take this back stair. I have Congressman Laurence coming any minute.”

  “Oh, yes. He knows me.” Another acquaintance of James's and mine from his run-for-congress days.

  He gave a curt nod. “You simply cannot be seen here at my place of business, with clients and congressmen to'ing and fro'ing.”

  “Will you come by this eve?” I needled him, desperate for a 'yes' even if it was a lie.

  “Mayhap tomorrow eve. But I'm not promising anything.”

  “Alex, tell me you still love me,” I further badgered him, knowing how needy I sounded.

  His eyes left mine and darted around, but the alley below was empty.

  “Well? Tell me,” I insisted.

  “I still love you, Maria,” he muttered, devoid of any sincerity. Not a heartfelt declaration, but it was better than nothing.

  Enough to leave your wife? I bursted to ask, but here at his back door was not the place. I leant forward and planted a kiss on his lips, grabbed my skirts and climbed down the stone steps.

  As I trod over the cobblestones, I realized this was why I dreamed of him leaving his wife. So we no longer needed sneak through back doors, and I could travel with him without disguise.

  As I walked home, mixed feelings bumped up against each other. My heart now tripped, in tune with my elation. But the uncertainty still hung over me like a shroud. When would I see him again? With this renewed confidence, I headed to Aaron Burr's office to tell him to expedite the divorce proceedings.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Severus

  Whether by bad luck, misjudgment, or because I'd allowed my mind to wander to other things, my luck began to change. From being the ultimate predator, a silent assassin who struck like a ghost in the night, my latest foray into the dark almost resulted in disaster.

  For some time, I had lusted after Caroline, daughter of Seamus Carew, butcher, and the purveyor of the finest steaks I'd ever tasted. Once a week, I visited Carew's shop, where I purchased two or three fine lean sirloins, and always passed the time with Carew and Caroline, who regularly assisted her father in the shop. As I discussed the juicy meat that Carew provided for his dinner plate, I imagined Caroline laid out before me, her own soft juicy flesh awaiting my final penetration.

  Having followed the girl on a regular basis, I deduced that she visited her grandmother once a week, delivering a supply of fresh meat from the shop, sufficient to serve the old woman's weekly needs.

  So, that night, I followed her to the home of her aged grandparent and lurked in wait, my excitement mounting with my anticipation. After two hours in the house, Caroline emerged and began the walk home. I'd already decided upon the perfect spot to waylay her. I duly carried out my plan, first stopping to talk to her as if meeting by chance upon the street, walking beside her a little ways, then pulling her into a darkened alley, a hand over her mouth to silence her screams.

  My scarf did its work, but just as I was about to indulge my lust, a voice cried out from behind me.

  “What's happening here? What're you doing to that girl?”

  I jumped to my feet and whirled round. In the spoonful of light from a streetlamp, I made out the figure of a tall man, his equally tall hat identifying him as a constable. Without time for thought, I took the only available course of action. I charged at the constable, arms extended, hands splayed out before me. I shoved his broad chest, took him by surprise, bowled him over. He fell backwards and landed with a thud. His head made a sickening crack as it hit the ground.

  * * *

  Constable Fry lay prone for a minute. Head throbbing, he finally gathered himself and stumbled to his feet, staggering out into the street. Oh, God, where did that horrid figure in black escape to?

  Realizing his quarry was long gone, he turned his attention to the fiend's victim. A brief examination was all it took for Fry to ascertain that he'd stumbled upon the latest murder to hit the city. Fry blew upon his whistle in a call for help, and while he waited for reinforcements, he did his best to look for clues on and around the body. He could scarce believe his luck when he saw that this time, the killer, if it was the fiend who'd been terrorizing the city for months, had made a mistake. There, forgotten in his moment of panicked flight and still tightly wrapped round the woman's neck, was a long, expensive looking white silk scarf…

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Eliza

  Mrs. Reynolds has return'd home, Annie informed me in a letter delivered by a courier. She went to your husband's office yestermorn and was turnd away, waited for him outside the treasury office, and later followd him to the City Tavern, where she tarryed outside a quarter hour and headed home. Then this noontime, she returnd to your husband's office. She did not come out. I stood on the corner, but did not see her. Fourty minutes later, Congressman Laurence arrived. I know him because he served in the War as a commissioned officer. An old frend of your husband, mayhap? Take of that what you will. After one compleat hour, I departed, with no reason to tarry further.

  Ah, yes, Congressman Laurence was a friend of Alex. But why did Maria not come out? Had she spent the remainder of the day at his office? With clients coming and going? Mayhap he'd made her climb from the window as not to be seen. At least he had some discretion left, if she hadn't.

  I'm sorry, she continued. But you payed me for this information.

  Twas kindly of her to apologize, but at least I now knew Maria hadn't lost interest in my husband, nor he in her. Unable to keep my husband from straying, I hoped Jacob Clingman would make her forget him.

  Maria

  Aaron Burr kept me waiting in his sitting room nearly half an hour, as I had no appointment. But it was worth the wait. He called me in and I sat across from him.

  “Why the rapid change of heart, Maria?” He regarded me across his messy desktop, his dark eyes peering at me over a pair of gold wire specs. His receding hairline came to a point above two deep creases in his forehead. His dashing youthfulness had matured into an attractive magnetism. Not as handsome as Alex, he exuded a more virile sexuality. I could see why women petted him, caressed him, swooned at his feet and fought over the chance to let him conquer them. But having met him when I'd just turned fifteen, I believe he still saw me as an innocent ingénue and not conquest material. That was fine with me, for he never sparked interest in me of that sort. We were acquaintances; now he my attorney and I his client, naught more.

  “Up till now, I wasn't sure I'd made the right decision in divorcing James,” I divulged. “Especially when he told me he'd be happy remaining married and living our separate lives. But I decided it was for the best, as I—I may want to remarry someday.” I needn't tell him who I wanted to marry.

  He thumbed through a stack of papers, pulled out some documents and placed them atop his ink-stained blotter. “Then I should have everything in order by month's end. I will let you know when you are once again a free woman.”

  “Thank you, Aaron. I shall look forward to hearing from you.” We stood. He grasped my hand but did not kiss it, and escorted me to the door.

/>   “Any suitors requesting your hand in marriage at the moment?” His question took me by surprise as he released the door latch.

  “Uh—I—” I sputtered. How much personal detail should I share with him? “One gentleman I've known a long time has been courting me.” I looked into his eyes, wider now, more relaxed, framed by raised brows, displaying interest and kindness. “He's a widower, very well off, and I—” I'd said too much already. “I will have to see how things develop. I cannot make any hasty decisions.”

  “That is smart, Maria. He sounds like he has all the right ingredients. Especially that he's not married. An affair with a married person nearly always ends in someone being badly hurt. Trust me,” he added with a knowing nod.

  Did he know about Alex and me, and was this his roundabout way of telling me it would end in heartache? I wasn't sure how far word had spread at this point. But he undoubtedly spoke from experience. And I feared because he also knew Alex.

  “Good day, Aaron. Please stay in touch.” As he let me out the door, I came inches from bumping into a young woman coming in. “Oh, I'm sorry.”

  “Excuse me.” We spoke at the same time.

  I stepped aside as she greeted Aaron and he welcomed her with a warm embrace. “So good to see you, my dear one.” He planted an affectionate kiss on her lips. She looked almost young enough to be his daughter, but I knew Theodosia was only eight or nine. This budding beauty certainly dressed fashionably and made no effort to conceal her décolletage.

  “Honey, this is Mrs. Reynolds, a client of mine. Maria, I present Miss Eliza Bowen.”

  He certainly was pursuing younger stock as he aged. “Good day, Miss Bowen.” I gave Aaron a smile and a nod. “I shall leave you to it.”

  “Thank you, Mrs. Reynolds,” and I noticed a grateful undertone in her voice. The door closed before I turned to descend the steps.

  The following morn, I sat at the breakfast table after refusing Maggie's offer of eggs again. For some reason the thought of runny eggs spreading across a plate made me want to retch.

  I asked her for a biscuit and tea, knowing my stomach would not handle coffee. Relief calmed me, knowing Alex and I weren't over. My heart tripped in giddy anticipation of possibly seeing him this eve. The thought of his lips ravishing mine sent delightful shivers through me, warming me to my most feminine core. Oh, how I wanted him!

  I unfolded the newspaper and began to read the headlines as Maggie entered and knocked on the doorframe. “You've a visitor, Mrs. Reynolds. Tis Mrs. Hamilton. She were here t'other day as well.”

  Dread washed over me. Had she heard about my visit to Alex?

  No, I refused to jump to conclusions. I thanked Maggie, dismissed her and entered the sitting room. Mrs. Hamilton stood at the window.

  “Mrs. Hamilton, what a pleasant surprise.”

  “Good morn, Maria. I trust you are well.” As we approached each other she reached out and we grasped hands. Twas a warm greeting for a woman facing her husband's lover.

  “How did you know I was back from New York?” I asked, really wanting to know.

  “Someone I know saw you yesterday and told me.” Her features gave no indication of her inner feelings. Her tone betrayed no emotion.

  God above, I hoped no one had seen me going to Alex's office! I let it drop right there. “Yes, I came back with Jacob.” I was glad that was the truth.

  Without any chitchat about my trip, my family, or how Jacob fared, she took a folded velvet cloth from her satchel and handed it to me. “I believe this is yours. I found it in my house—upstairs—at the top of the landing—outside the spare bedroom, to be exact.”

  I unwrapt it. Oh, no…dear heaven. I cringed, mortified, and blushed to my roots. Glittering up at me was the diamond ear bob I'd lost. It must have fallen off when I crouched behind the banister that night Mrs. Platz saw me. I considered denying it was mine. But to what purpose? I'd lied enough already—all I wanted now was to live the truth. “Thank you,” was all I could say, my voice cracked and dry.

  “Maria, my husband promised me he's ended his affair with you,” she said.

  Her words struck me like a bolt of lightning. When was this? I wanted to ask. It must have been after I saw him yesterday. But of course it was not my place to ask her. There was only one way to verify it—to ask Alex.

  Stunned speechless, I simply stood and nodded. “I—Mr. Burr told me my divorce shouldn't take more than a few weeks,” I blabbed, not knowing what else to say, hoping this would appease her.

  She nodded, giving me a hint of a smile. “What about Jacob?”

  Now the initial shock subsided, and I eased into the conversation. “He followed me to New York and proposed to me again. He gave me a beautiful ring.”

  She glanced at my ring finger and raised her brows. “Why are you not wearing it?”

  “Oh, I—” I held up my ringless hands, having taken off my wedding band the day James and I decided to divorce. “I care not to wear it outside. Tis rather valuable, and I fear being robbed of it.”

  She fiddled with her gold wedding band and I surmised she'd want to be buried in it. “Listen to me, Maria. Jacob truly loves you.”

  “But I'm not sure I love him—enough to marry him. Not yet anyway.” And that was the truth.

  “Take this advice, my dear.” She lowered her voice as if someone were eavesdropping. “When you find a man as good as him, never let him go.”

  “What do you mean by good?” I needed her to clarify that. “Because he is wealthy?”

  She shook her head and took a step closer to me. For the first time I noticed her gray hairline. Lines creased her forehead and the corners of her eyes. She looked older than Alex, although they were the same age. “No, not just that. He is devoted to you. He will not leave you alone for nights on end, claiming work or—some other excuse to get away. He will not hide things from you or lock his study door or his drawers. He won't even look at another woman once you exchange your vows. He will make a most faithful husband. And a loyal family man, should you wish to have children.”

  Her mention of children struck a chord with me. “Yes, through my marriage to James, we took precautions to prevent it—our nomadic and economically volatile life together hadn't been favorable for raising children,” I admitted. He wore lamb bladder condoms which we'd made part of our loveplay, tying the ribbon round the base of his member. But she needn't know all that.

  Alex simply withdrew before climaxing. And she certainly needn't know that.

  “I would like to have children. Mayhap, someday in the future, with some future husband…” I trailed off with a sigh.

  “Then do not reject Jacob because at this moment you do not believe you love him enough to marry him. You're a fool to let him slip away. In the name of all the saints, young lady, you can learn to love him.” She spoke with what almost sounded like envy.

  I appreciated her advice, for if what she'd told me about Alex was true, I'd lost him forever. And knowing someone else loved me that much helped to ease my brokenhearted despair—but a little.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Hamilton. You are a kind, forgiving woman.”

  “Tis easier than being a vindictive shrew, my dear. And God above knows, I carry enough burdens, I have no strength to carry grudges. I shall see myself out.” She held up a hand. “Goodbye, Maria.”

  Had she said this goodbye for herself and for Alex? I wondered as she swept out the door.

  Alex did not come to me that eve or the eve after that. Mrs. Hamilton must have told me the truth—he'd chosen her over me, and renewed his vow to forsake all others.

  I still licked my wounds over her words about Alex promising to end our affair. I dragged myself around as if I'd been whipped, knocked to the ground and kicked whilst down. I could not see him promising anyone anything, but the proof was plain enough to see—he was not here.

  Mayhap he still believed I was planning to marry Jacob! Our reunion at his office had been so brief, I hadn't the chance to convince him th
at Jacob's proposal in the parlour had been an act—I loved only him, and not Jacob. I needed to set things straight and change his mind. I could not let a silly misunderstanding ruin both our lives forever.

  I sat down and penned a letter so quickly I could barely read my own writing. I forced myself to calm down and write another.

  I am not marrying anyone but the only man I will ever love—you, my dear Alex. If my dear freend has the Least Esteeme for the unhappy Maria whos greatest fault is Loveing him he will come as soon as he shall get this…P.S. If you cannot come this Evening to stay just come only for one moment as I shal be Lone.

  I had Maggie deliver it to his law office.

  But another day and night passed, with no reply. I dragged a chair to the window and sat reading, one eye on the street, awaiting the mail carriage. I dashed out to greet the postman, ransacked our post—nothing from him. I collapsed on the doorstep and moaned in despair.

  My only contact with the world outside was the newspaper, and on Wednsday, the election results appeared with surprising news—Aaron Burr had defeated Philip Schuyler to take over his Senate seat.

  Philip Schuyler was Mrs. Hamilton's father. I knew the Schuylers could not be happy about this. And I was sure Alex seethed with fury.

  I finally forced myself to accept the reality: Mrs. Hamilton had not been lying. I would never hear from Alex nor see him again. It was over. All I had left were memories—and his letters to me. I unfolded and read them, over and over, till I'd memorized near every word, kissed them, pressed them to my breast, as they'd come from his heart to mine. The pain of seeing him at gatherings or passing on the street would be too much to bear. I knew I must leave here, and return to my true home, New York.

  Just then the post fell through the door slot. I nearly broke my neck getting there, with the last shred of hope for a letter from him. I threw each letter to the floor, my heart in my throat, as my despair further tortured me. The last letter bore a return address I recognized. It was from Jacob.