Sharing Hamilton

by Diana Rubino

  I walked back to the sofa, sliced it open with a knife and unfolded it. I could not finish reading it for my eyes blurred with tears.

  Maria, I love you more than words can convey. Please forget the men who have hurt you and let me show you what a true loving husband can give you. Plus the most delicious Italian meal you have never seen, by a Tuscan chef I imported only for us. I promise I will not attempt to kiss you after consuming all the garlic he plans to add to our meal. Naught but the Stinky Rose, garlic, will keep us apart! Shall we meet this eve?

  All my love, Jacob

  “Oh, Jacob,” I said out loud as I wiped away tears. “How could any woman be fool enough not to love you?”

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Severus

  I lounged in my small but comfortable sitting room, the embers of a log fire dying in the grate. The room grew chilled, but so preoccupied was I by the recent turn of events, I didn't bother to rekindle the flame. My head swirled with thoughts of what lay ahead. Had the constable seen enough of my face to identify me if brought to a confrontation? How could I have been so lax, so careless? My planning had let me down, and I considered myself at fault, as thoughts of dear Mrs. Hamilton and her unhappiness overcame me.

  The question that now burned in my mind was a simple one: stay or go, the only two options left open. I wallowed in a quandary of my own making, fired by circumstances and feelings previously alien to my mind.

  Much to my personal chagrin, I actually cared for another human being. Elizabeth Hamilton had found a tiny niche somewhere in my mind, or in my soul, and I was perplexed by the revelation. Yes, she was all I'd lacked in terms of a mother, though I did not see her as a mother figure. Goodness, no! So for what reason had I allowed my thoughts and mission in life to become so distracted that I now again faced the possibility of capture? As hard as I put my mind to delivering a solution, I failed to arrive at a satisfactory conclusion.

  I had to weigh up the risks if I decided to stay, to hope the constable had not seen my face well enough in that brief encounter in the alley…but…the scarf! If made public knowledge, the presence of my scarf, so foolishly left behind in my haste to escape, might lead to someone associating such an item with none other than myself. I felt confident enough to bluff my way out of such an eventuality, for didn't many folk wear such a scarf? I could easily purchase a new one, and deny the one round the girl's neck was mine, but it still constituted a large and potentially unnecessary risk.

  Although too soon to have made the newspapers, I picked up the latest offering from the press, delivered that morning and lying where I'd dropped it on the dining table.

  The headline that screamed from the front page shocked me to the core. My body stiffened, rigid, as if shot point blank. FAMOUS FRENCH DETECTIVE TO ASSIST IN SEARCH FOR KILLER.

  The city fathers, through the commissioner, had invited that damned fool Le Clerc to visit in hopes he could bring his expertise to bear in their hunt for the killer. The article went on to report that Le Clerc had accepted their invitation and was now en route to America on board a fast sailing vessel, the Marie Claire that had sailed some three days ago from Cherbourg, France. If Le Clerc saw me, or heard my name mentioned in the course of his inquiries—and the constable from the alley gave the Frenchie even the barest description of the man he'd glimpsed in the alley—and if he'd seen and then mentioned my most defining feature, my eyes, then the game would be up. The bloodhounds would be on me in no time.

  The realization dawned upon me. Clenching my tongue between my teeth, I alternately raged and shook. The decision regarding my future had been snatched away from me. I had but one remaining option.

  Chapter Forty

  Eliza

  Alex came home, pale as death.

  “What's wrong?” I rushed up to him and grasped his sleeves.

  “Aaron Burr defeated your father in the senate election.” His voice dragged as if the loss were his own.

  I felt as if I'd been shot in the gut. “Aaron Burr pushed my father out of his beloved senate seat?” Father had been the very first senator from New York, and now this upstart defeated him. “Dear God, Father must be crushed.” John wailed at the top of his lungs in his cradle. Philip yelled down the stairs, “Make him hush, I need to study!”

  “Please rock the baby, Alex. I must write to Father immediately.” I bolted to the writing desk.

  “Where are the servants?” Alex made not a move towards the cradle but remained standing in the doorway, peering down the corridor.

  “I do not know. Go find one if you care not to tend to your own son.” I took a deep breath and met my husband's glaring eyes. “I regret snapping like that, but naught seems to be going right lately. Two of the little ones have raging fevers and my father just lost his seat to a man he despises.” I didn't add and my husband still cavorts with his lover.

  “I'm thrice as crushed as your father is,” Alex argued back, finally approaching the cradle and rocking it with his foot as the baby continued to wail. “Burr is for or against nothing, but as it suits his interest or ambition.” He added in a louder voice, over the baby's cries, “I feel it a religious duty to oppose his career!”

  I flattened my palms to my ears. “Oh, Alex, please! Go romp with your mistress and leave me to console my father and my children!” I then pressed too hard on the paper and broke the quill tip. “Damn it!”

  “What did you say?”

  “Go tell Maria Reynolds how much you loathe Aaron Burr. I only hope he finds time to file her divorce before he kicks my father out of his senate seat.” I dipped a new quill into the inkwell. Shutting out my squalling baby and my wayward husband, I began a heartfelt letter to my father, promising I'd go to him soon as the roads cleared.

  The room now quiet, I glanced over my shoulder. The baby slept peacefully and Alex was gone.

  Breathing a sigh of relief and exasperation, I returned to my writing.

  However, peace was not to be my companion, as a knocking on the front door caused me to rise and answer the incessant tap, tap, tap. Standing on my front step was none other than Dr. Black, looking severely disheveled and distressed. He clearly had not shaved, and his clothes looked like he'd slept in them.

  “Severus!” I stepped back. “Are you well? You look…well…not yourself.”

  I almost pulled him across the threshold before he could reply, but instead of following me us usual into the parlour, he stood stock still, as if some barrier stood before him, making it impossible for him to pass.

  “Elizabeth, my friend,” he said at last, his voice breaking.

  “Yes, Severus? Please, tell me what ails you.”

  At that moment he looked at me. Those sharp cobalt blue eyes appeared as dead pools. Gone was their enigmatic spark.

  The fire that burned them, within his very soul mayhap, appeared extinguished, whether temporarily or permanently I couldn't guess.

  “I am so very sorry to appear unannounced in this way,” he croaked, “but due to certain…shall we say…circumstances of an extreme personal nature, I find I must leave town for awhile.”

  “I see.” Though in truth I did not see at all. “And what, pray, are these circumstances, that they take you away from your friends and those who have come to know and respect you?”

  “I must keep close counsel on some things. I called here in the hope that you would at least show me a friendly face before I take my leave. It has been such a pleasure and a privilege to have made your acquaintance, to have counted you as a friend and as a much favored patient.”

  Now he really worried me. These were not the words of someone planning a short stay away from home. I instinctively felt that Severus in his own way and for whatever reasons, was saying a long-winded and extremely convoluted goodbye. I took hold of both his hands in mine. They felt like blocks of ice. Trying to warm them with my body heat, I shivered.

  “Severus, I am not so stupid as to believe you will return soon, and will not pry into the privacy of yo
ur leaving, but I too have been privileged, for you have at all times shown me not only the very best professional care, but you quickly became a dear friend to both me and my husband.”

  “Ah, yes, the good Alex.” He almost smiled with shaky lips. “I am so sorry for the way life has treated you and your marriage, and wish I could have helped you in some small way.”

  “You have always helped me.” Tears wetted the corners of my eyes.

  He reached out and with the back of one finger, dabbed the tears away, then just as quickly withdrew his hand.

  “Severus…I…” but before I could say more, he turned on his heel, walked briskly to the door and opened it. Turning back to look at me once again, he said, “I shall always remember you, to my dying day.” He shut the door behind him, leaving me standing there.

  Maria

  I sent Maggie to Jacob's house with my acceptance of to-night's meal, complete with Stinky Rose. With the newspaper spread before me, I read the senate election results over and over. Aaron Burr had soundly defeated Philip Schuyler, New York's first senator. I knew this was Aaron's first step towards the presidency. I was happy for Aaron, for I did like him personally—I just did not agree with the Democratic-Republicans' beliefs. Truth be told, if I'd been allowed to vote, I'd have voted for Mr. Schuyler. But the state's governing body elected our senators, not the people.

  My thoughts centered on Alex, and I longed for him more than ever. How I missed our political discussions. I knew he was consoling his wife right now. The Schuylers were a close-knit family, and even though they belonged to different parties, Alex idolized his father-in-law.

  I closed the newspaper, deciding what to wear this eve. Anticipating a lively discussion about our nation's future, I wondered what Jacob thought of these election results. Eager to see him, I now asked myself more seriously than ever if I loved him. My answer: yes. I even loved him enough to become Mrs. Clingman.

  A sharp pain in my middle stabbed me like a knife. Dizzy, I doubled over and grabbed the chair back. It passed after a moment, but a wave of nausea overtook me. I staggered to the sofa and lay down.

  Clutching my middle, I tried to reach the bottle of Madeira on the table but could not. I had not the energy to lift myself up. At that moment, a knock sounded at the back door. Only servants and deliveries came in that way. Sod it, I thought. I hadn't the energy to answer that, either. Let them leave the delivery on the doorstep. But the knocking persisted. I finally rose and stumbled to the door, expecting a delivery of dry goods, or Maggie…

  I yanked the door open and gasped at the sight before me. “Alex!” I blinked, not believing my eyes.

  “You look awful, Maria. Have you been ill?” He stepped in and I drowned in his violet gaze.

  “Not any more. Oh, Alex, I missed you so much.” My hand still clutching my middle, I wrapt my free arm round his shoulders and drew him to me. “I never thought I would see you again!”

  “I told you I'd be here when I could. My, you must sit. You do look ill.” He removed his hat and smoothed down his hair.

  “But your wife told me.” I led him into the sitting room. “You'd promised her to never see me again.” I held my breath awaiting his answer, as a criminal about to hang waits for the trap to fall.

  “I never said that.”

  I nearly fell over. “So she did lie!”

  He swept his eyes across the room as trial lawyers do whilst performing. “She did ask me to promise to end our affair. But not to never see you again. There is a difference—a rather big difference.”

  Tears of joy sprang to my eyes. Thank God he was a lawyer and took every definition literally. “But we do not need to end anything. My divorce is nearly final. I shall be free afore long. If Aaron Burr is true to his word, that is. Now that he's a politician, I know not how honest he is.”

  His lips spread in a sneer. “Burr is a lawyer first, and a wily one at that. You'll have your divorce. But you do look ill.”

  I wished he would stop bringing that up. Oh, if only he'd arrived twenty minutes hence; I would have been draped in finery, bathed and perfumed and combed and rouged, on my way out to see Jacob. Instead he saw me like this, in an old linen frock, sleeves rolled up, my hair pinned up in a mess, my face pale. “I'm fine. Just something I ate.” I guided him to the sofa and we sat.

  I clung to him. “Alex, I am about to be free. I need to know—do you now plan to free yourself as well? Tis our fate to spend the rest of our lives together, surely you know that.” I stroked his hair, twirled his queue twixt my fingers, my arousal increasing with every breath. “I do not want to sneak around like this, in and out of back doors.”

  As he looked away, an invisible barrier rose twixt us. “I cannot do that, Maria. My reputation has suffered enough. I cannot add a divorce to my list of offenses.”

  “Divorcing a wife you don't love for a woman you do love, an offense? Jefferson's reputation hasn't suffered,” I reminded him of his rival's fate.

  He looked back at me, tilting his head. “He never divorced. His wife died.”

  “But he fathered all those children with Sally Hemings,” I persisted.

  “He never divorced,” he repeated, louder this time.

  I had no more argument in me. He would never leave his wife, and I had to accept that. “But we will still see each other, of course,” I stated. I would not give him the chance to say no.

  “I told you, I didn't promise her I would never see you again. Only that I would…” His eyes raked over me with naked longing. “Oh, God, Maria…” His lips claimed mine. We wound our arms round each other as our kiss intensified. Raw desire filled me as my hands wandered down his body. As I was about to fondle his surging manhood, a sudden wave of sickness overtook me. I pulled away and held my head in my hands, willing it to pass.

  “What is wrong?” He clutched my shoulders. “You are ill, aren't you?”

  “No, I'm…yes, I've been ill since I returned from New York. I know not what it is, some horrible disease…” I doubled over again.

  He pushed my hair from my forehead, rocking me gently. “What are your symptoms?”

  I swallowed to force the rising sickness down. “I've been retching in the mornings, my stomach has been cramping, I have nausea—”

  “Maria, I've heard all this before,” he said.

  “What?” I looked up at him.

  “This is no horrible disease. You are going to have a baby.”

  Chapter Forty-One

  Eliza

  “Mrs. Bates to see you, Mrs. Hamilton.” Our servant Maura stood in the parlour doorway.

  “Thank you, please see her in.” I put my pen down and greeted Annie. “I can ring for a drink. Tea? Wine? Brandy?” I hadn't even thought to offer anything to eat. My mind still reeled from those disastrous election results.

  “Nay, I'm only popping in for a moment.” She slipt her shawl off. “Your husband went to the Reynolds residence. I daresay he is still there. If you care to go there and confront him—”

  “No.” I cut her off. “I am beyond confronting. I am nearly beyond caring at this point. You needn't follow either of them any longer, Annie. I know what is going on and tis not going to end.”

  “Is there aught else I can do, Elizabeth?” Concern softening her tone, she took a step closer.

  I rubbed my ink-stained hands together. “Yes, Annie. Be my friend. Please. Just be my friend.”

  Severus

  Knowing the great French detective Le Clerc would soon apply his bloodhound-like skills to the case, I made haste with my departure. Citing a need to visit an ailing private patient who required a permanent physician, I left a letter of notice at my landlord's office, with two months' rent in lieu of such notice. I had few personal possessions, and packed only necessities into a portmanteau. I brought this to my friend Silas Brunt, the chemist who'd supplied me with medicines and medical equipment during my stay in the city.

  “Why the hurry to depart, Severus?” He help me push the portmant
eau down his hallway.

  “I need to leave for personal reasons…I'll tell you about it another time.” The portmanteau now settled in the nook under his stairs, I stood upright and brushed my hands together. “Oh, one more thing…” I hastened back to the door and retrieved my medical bag. “If you can mind this while I go make travel arrangements and bid farewell to some acquaintances, I'll be much obliged.”

  I offered Silas a hearty handshake with a promise that I'd return the following morn.

  “I've no doubt you intend to spend the night in the bed of some lady friend, indulging in some innocent lust before taking your unfortunate leave of her and your practice,” he surmised with a chuckle, as we regularly shared jests and traded suggestive innuendos.

  “You know me too well, old chap.” I chuckled right along with him.

  I navigated the tree-lined streets that led me close to the home of my last real friend on earth, or so I hoped—Mrs. Hamilton. Darkness hung like a pall over the city, perfectly matching my mood. As my footsteps echoed in the empty darkness, the air felt heavy, almost as though mother nature sensed what was about to transpire and held her breath. The moon played hide and seek with the earth as thick cumulus clouds scudded across its face, cutting off its baleful glow, then illuminating all once again as whatever drove them across the sky swept them away. A faint mist appeared out of nowhere, rose directly from the ground beneath my feet, and muffled my footsteps.

  I drew my new white silk scarf closer round my neck, seeking extra warmth from the increasing chill of the night air. I encountered not another living soul as I stalked the darkened streets…until…

  Less than a block from the Hamilton residence, I spotted a lone female figure hurrying almost recklessly around a corner, mere yards ahead of me. I licked my lips. My mouth watered.

  Perfect.

  Maria