by Kaylee Ryan
“Yeah, I met her here.”
Digging in my pocket, I pull my keys out and hand them over to Aaron. “Take my truck. I’ll just have Kinley drop me off. I can get my truck tomorrow.”
Aaron looks over at Kinley and she nods in agreement. “Yeah, I’m thinking she’s going to need most of the bench seat in your truck. There’s no keeping her up.”
“Good luck, my man.” I clap Aaron on the shoulder. He grumbles a reply that I can’t make out, but I’m pretty sure he’s calling me a dick.
Aaron lifts Olivia off the stool, nods to Mike that he has her, and heads toward the door. Kinley and I follow, me with my hand on the small of her back. Mike will be able to see us; Aaron will not. It’s intimate, yet a gentlemanly gesture. I’m not doing anything wrong; at least that’s what I keep telling myself.
Kinley opens the truck door, allowing Aaron to place a passed out Olivia in the seat. He buckles her in and shuts the door. “See you at the house,” he says to Kinley. “I’ll bring your truck by tomorrow, man,” he says to me. It’s not lost on me that Aaron wanted to get a drink tonight, and he had only one. He stopped drinking as soon as he saw how wasted Olivia was getting.
We watch as Aaron pulls out of the lot before heading to Kinley’s Durango. She pulls the keys out of her pocket and hands them to me. “You can just drop me off and take my car. I have two sessions tomorrow in the studio, so I won’t need it anytime soon.” The last is said through her yawn.
I take the key from her hand and kiss the top of her head. “Let’s get you home, beautiful.” The words slip off my tongue as if it’s something I’ve said to her multiple times. My reward is a sleepy smile before she climbs into the passenger seat. I make sure she’s buckled in before closing her door.
When I pull up to her house, it’s dark. I know Aaron mentioned his parents going out tonight. I turn off the SUV and look over to find Kinley is still sleeping soundly. Her body is angled toward mine, her soft breaths causing a gentle rise and fall of her chest. I turn so I’m facing her and rest my head against the seat. I memorize her in this moment. I don’t ever want to forget how peaceful she looks.
I wish things were different. I wish, instead of driving us here, I could take her home. I could carry her up to my room and curl my body around hers. I need to find a way to block these feelings she evokes in me. I know I do, but for tonight, when it’s just me watching her, I don’t want to.
Glancing at my phone for the time, I see I’ve been sitting here way longer than what I should have. I’ve gone into the creeper category. There is a physical ache in my chest because I know I have to wake her up. I have to end my time with her and that pisses me off.
Raising my hand to her cheek, I softly run my fingers along her jawline. “Kinley, you’re home.”
Her eyes flutter, but she doesn’t wake up. Leaning closer, my lips graze her ear. “Time to wake up, beautiful.” That’s the second time tonight the endearment has fallen from my lips, and I can only hope she’s too sleepy for it to register.
Finally, her eyes leisurely open. I pull my lips away from her ear, which brings my mouth closer to hers. “Hey.” Her voice is raspy and laced with sleep.
“Hey.” I tuck a loose hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry to wake you.” If she only knew how true that statement is.
“It’s fine. Sorry I fell asleep on you.”
I’m not. “You were tired.” I want to kiss her.
“Yeah, I guess I was. Thank you for driving.” She makes no effort to move from the car.
“Aaron will be back soon,” I say. I know he will be wondering what the hell I’ve been doing, sitting outside with her for so long. Reluctantly, I back away and remove her keys from the ignition. “Let’s get you inside.”
Kinley meets me at the front of her Durango and surprises me when she places her arm through mine and leans against me. She has no idea how hard she’s making it for me to leave her.
We reach the door without her losing her grip on my arm, and I manage to get it unlocked. Looking down, I see she’s staring up at me. “Sweet dreams.” I kiss her forehead and step back. She releases her arm from mine and walks inside. “Lock up,” I say just as the door shuts, securing her safely behind it.
Locked away from me.
Looking at my watch, I see it’s after six; no wonder I’m starving. I’ve been in the studio since nine and have gone non-stop until just a few minutes ago. I had five sessions today and most of them ended up taking more time than they should have. Explosive diapers, tantrums, late clients—you name it, it happened. I need to set a firm line with being late, but it was three kids, ages: sixteen, nineteen, and twenty-one. Their mom is sick and they wanted to give her a picture of all three of them. It’s something she’s been begging them to agree to for years. These boys came in wearing their heart on their sleeves and I couldn’t turn them away.
Deciding I’ve had enough for the day, I pack up my camera and turn off the lights. Once in the house, I see my phone sitting on the kitchen table. I’ve been so busy today I didn’t even realize I’d left it. I grab a cold slice of pizza, left over from last night. Aaron, Evan, and I had ordered in. Mom and Dad are at a show in Tennessee, so it was just the three of us. After I pour myself a glass of tea, I balance my drink, my cold pizza, and my phone as I settle into the couch.
It feels good to finally sit.
I take a huge bite of pizza and swipe the screen of my phone. I see I’ve missed multiple calls from Aaron and Evan. I assume it’s just because they couldn’t get a hold of me, neither are too keen on the idea. I roll my eyes as I look at my missed text messages. Olivia was supposed to text me about going to the outlet malls this weekend.
I have a text from Mom, Olivia, Aaron, and Evan. I open Mom’s first; she’s just checking in. It’s like they forgotten I’ve lived on my own for four years while in college. I open Olivia’s next. She’s good to go with our shopping expedition on Saturday. I type a quick reply that I’ll be at her place at eight to pick her up. I open Aaron’s message next.
Aaron: Where are you?
Aaron: Call me as soon as you get this.
Aaron: MCKINLEY!
Something’s wrong. My hands are shaking as I try to tap the screen to read Evan’s texts.
Evan: Call me
Evan: Where are you? Call me as soon as you get this.
Evan: I need you.
Reading his last text slays me. With hands shaking even worse than before, I pull up my favorites list and hit Evan’s name. When I bring the phone to my ear, I feel the tears I was unaware were falling. The shrill ring of his phone and then the sound of his voicemail picking up—“This is Evan. Leave a message.”—causes a sob to break from my chest.
Hitting end, I tap Aaron’s name and hold my breath, waiting for him to answer.
“Kinley.” His voice is gruff.
“What’s wrong?”
“Where are you?” he asks.
“I’m at home. I left my phone in the house. I had a full day in the studio. What’s wrong?” My voice breaks on another sob as I ask the question again.
“I’m almost there. I was coming to look for you. We were worried.”
“Evan, where is he?”
“I’ll explain when I get there. Be ready to leave. I just pulled onto our road.”
I hang up, not caring if he has more to say. Cold pizza and hunger forgotten, I grab my purse, phone, and keys. Locking the door behind me, I walk out to the driveway and pace back and forth.
Waiting.
Wondering.
I hear Aaron’s diesel truck before I see him. He pulls up beside me and I wrench the door open and climb inside. “Talk!” I demand as I fight back another round of tears.
“Hey.” Aaron reaches over and grabs my hand. “Take a deep breath. What’s got you so upset?”
“Something’s wrong. The text messages . . .” My voice trails off as I bite down hard on my bottom lip to control the tears.
“Okay, but I need you
to stay calm. Misty had an appointment today. During her exam, the doctor noticed the baby’s heartbeat was low. Too low.” He takes a minute to let that sink in. “Evan had to rush her to the hospital where they are monitoring her and the baby. If there is no improvement, they’re going to have to take the baby,” Aaron calmly explains.
“She’s too small,” I cry. “She’s not due for another two weeks and she’s already measuring tiny. It’s too early,” I argue.
Squeezing my hand, he says, “Yes, you are right on all counts. The doctors are giving Misty shots of steroids to help strengthen the baby’s lungs, just in case they do have to deliver early.”
“How is he?” I force the words out. I know how he is. His last text message flashes through my mind. “I need you.” I can’t imagine what he’s feeling right now.
Aaron is quiet the rest of the drive, allowing me to get lost in my thoughts, my worry for Evan. As soon as he parks the truck, I’m jumping out with him hot on my heels. “I’ll take you there,” he says, falling into step beside me.
We enter the hospital and Aaron leads us to the elevators. He hits the button, which one I have no idea. I don’t need to know. I just need to get to him. When the elevator doors open, Aaron motions for me to exit, letting me know this is our stop. As soon as I step out, we are in a waiting room and what I see breaks my heart. Evan is sitting all alone, elbows resting on his knees, face buried in his hands. I don’t even think as I move toward him. He must hear my heavy footsteps. Lifting his head, his eyes find me and he stands just in time for me to crash into him. We wrap our arms around each other, and I hold onto him telling him without words that I’m here.
“Kinley.” His voice cracks and, I swear, so does my heart. Neither one of us move. We stand there in the quiet waiting room of the maternity ward and hold on as tight as we can.
Eventually, he pulls away. His eyes are red and filled with moisture. “Are you okay?” he asks me. I can hear the concern in his voice.
This man.
He’s going through hell, the worry for his daughter evident, yet he takes the time to ask and worry about me.
“I’m good. I left my phone at the house. I’ve been busy in the studio all day,” I explain.
Evan nods as he laces his fingers through mine. I’ve completely forgotten Aaron was with me when I got here, until he clears his throat. We both turn to face him. I try to pry my hand from Evan’s, but he’s not having it.
“Any word?” Aaron asks. I can see the question in his eyes, but he doesn’t voice it.
“No change. We’re waiting for the doctor. I actually need to get back in there. I just needed . . .” He trails off and silently squeezes my hand. He needed to know I was okay.
“We’ll be here, go. You don’t want to miss what the doctor has to say,” I tell him.
“She’s right. We’re not leaving. You’ll find us here when you need us, man. Don’t leave the decisions up to Misty.” Aaron says her name with disdain.
Evan nods. “Thanks, man.” He releases my hand. Leaning down, he places a kiss on the top of my head, then squeezes Aaron’s shoulder and walks away.
“What was that?” Aaron asks.
“He’s emotional, Aaron. His daughter’s life is at risk,” I say defensively.
“Yeah, I get that, but I’ve been standing here the whole time. He was worried about you,” he points out.
“Well, yeah, I’m like a little sister to him. We’ve spent a lot of time together the last few months. I’ve been his shoulder through all this.”
“McKinley Rae,” he warns.
“Look, there’s nothing going on between us. Am I happy about that? No, not really. Can I change it? No. Evan is a great guy, you know that. He has too much going on in his life to notice his best friend’s little sister.”
“He looked like he noticed to me,” he retorts.
“He’s hanging on by a thread, Aaron. Misty hasn’t been taking care of herself and his biggest fear is possibly about to become a reality. His daughter is in danger. His parents don’t live here and his grandparents are not in good health. They can’t sit here with him, so he needs someone. That someone is me.”
Aaron’s quiet for a few minutes before he finally says, “I get that, Kinley. I do. He’s my best friend and I’m glad you’ve been there for him. Hell, I even encouraged him to let you help him. What worries me is your feelings are more than just helping out my best friend. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I won’t. You have nothing to worry about, Aaron. He needs us right now more than ever.”
He puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me into him. “You’re right. I just worry about you. About both of you, really.”
“You don’t have to. I’m a big girl. I just . . . my heart breaks for him, Aaron.”
He doesn’t say anything. Instead, he guides me to one of the chairs along the walls and we settle in, waiting to hear from Evan.
She’s here. She’s okay. I keep repeating those words on my way back to Misty’s room. I needed her, and when I couldn’t reach her, I about lost my shit. My daughter’s life is in danger and McKinley was missing. It was almost too much for me to process. The rational side of my brain realizes she wasn’t missing, but the stressed, over emotional side put up a strong fight.
Knowing she’s here, it helps. I wish I could say I’m focusing on my daughter and make it better, but I can’t. It all comes down to hurry up and wait. Wait to see if Misty’s body can give her what she needs. Wait to see if my little girl’s heartbeat resumes to a normal, healthy rhythm. Wait for the doctors to tell me if I’m going to meet my little girl two weeks earlier than what I thought.
I fucking hate waiting.
When I enter Misty’s room, she’s resting. I don’t know if she’s really sleeping or just has her eyes closed. I don’t care either way. I have no plans to talk to her. I blame her for this. She refused to take care of herself, to take care of my baby, and now I could lose her. The doctor said the shots they are giving Misty will help the baby’s lungs fully develop faster and two weeks is minor in comparison to some early deliveries. Regardless, she did this. I will never forgive her.
Light filters through the room as the doctor comes in. “Evan, there’s no change and I’m not willing to risk waiting any longer. We’re going to take Misty in to do an emergency cesarean. You can scrub in and be in the room. I’m going to go prep. I’ll send the nurses in to get her ready.” He walks closer to the bed and to her. “Misty,” he says, turning the light on above the bed. She opens her eyes.
“I heard you,” she says, no emotion whatsoever in her voice.
The doctor nods his head. “Evan, if you’ll come with me, you can stop and update your family and then let the nurses know you need to scrub in.”
I wait for him to leave the room before I address Misty. “I’ll see you in there.”
She nods and rolls to her side, putting her back to me. Not able to be alone with her for one more second, I leave the room in search of my family—Aaron and McKinley. I find them where I left them in the waiting room. McKinley has her head on Aaron’s shoulder and they are watching whatever mindless show is on television. As soon as she spots me, she lifts her head and sits on the edge of her seat.
“Hey,” I say, stopping in front of them. They both stand and I want nothing more than to pull her into me and hold her, pull comfort from her. Instead, I clench my hands into fists to prevent it.
“So, uh . . .” I clear my throat. “There’s no change in the baby. Her heart rate is still too low and the doctor doesn’t want to wait any longer. They’re prepping Misty for an emergency delivery,” I explain.
Tears fall from McKinley’s eyes. Tears for me and my daughter. The woman who has carried her for over eight months shows no emotion, but this girl, she’s broken over it.
I clench my fist tighter.
“I have to go too. To scrub in so I can be there when she’s born.” My voice cracks. I’m trying really hard to kee
p my shit in check, but I’m scared to death for my daughter.
“Evan, man, she’s going to be okay. You’re going to have a healthy little girl here really soon. A little girl who we are going to spoil rotten and whose dates we are going to scare away.” Aaron tries to break some of the tension.
It works. I offer him a watery smile. He’s my best friend. He’s been there for me through it all and I could not be happier to have him here to help me welcome my daughter into the world.
“I can’t wait to meet her,” Kinley says, displaying her own watery smile. I watch as tears stream down her cheeks.
No longer able to resist, I cup her face with my hands and wipe her tears away with my thumbs. “Thank you for everything,” I say, then kiss her forehead.
I then turn to Aaron and pull him into a hug. “Thanks for being here, brother.”
I feel him nod. With that, I spin around and walk away from them. Stopping at the nurses’ station, I ask them where I need to be. Following their directions, I head toward the surgery department.
“Evan Chamberlin,” I tell the girl at the desk.
“Yes, sir. Right this way.” She leads me behind the doors that read Authorized Personnel Only. Reaching into a cabinet, she hands me a pair of scrubs. “Slip these on over your clothes and these go over your shoes. Once you’re done, go through those doors,” she points behind her, “and give them your name.”
I do as I’m told, slipping the blue scrubs over my clothes and the covers on my feet. When I make it through the double doors and give the nurse there my name, she instructs me to follow her to the sink where she proceeds to scrub my hands. After drying them, she sheaths them with rubber gloves. She hands me a mask for my face and opens a door, telling me to go on in.
The room is sterile. The smell that lingers in all hospitals is stronger here than I’ve ever smelled before. Misty is laying on a table with a blanket hanging at right about her chest. I assume it’s to keep her from seeing what’s about to happen. She’s staring up at the ceiling.
