Him_v4

by Mazur, Caitlin

  "Hardly. It's more mentally draining than anything. Especially for you."

  "Meaning?"

  He sighed. "When you travel from the past into the future, you see some things. Your brain works with time travel in strange ways. Most people see what they describe as memories, except they haven't happened yet. You'd see what your life would have been had you stayed."

  "Would I ever be able to come back?"

  He ran his hand over his mouth, trying to find the answer for her. "Well, to this time, to this day, to this place - no. You wouldn't be able to travel back to any place or time where you've already been." He sighed with hesitation. "You wouldn't be able to see Faye again." He'd read her mind. "But where you're going, Amelia…where you could go. It's not so bad. You could learn to love it."

  Amelia had been told that before. You could learn to love anything, if you're forced hard enough. "What would I do there?" Her mind swarmed with questions.

  "Seraphine will find something for you. You'll be a welcome addition."

  She was sure that was a lie, but she wasn't sure it mattered. Seraphine, Ben, and the others, they'd already made up their minds. If she didn't comply, who knew what might happen to her.

  She shrugged. "Okay." Her voice was hollow, but Ben's face brightened regardless.

  "I have something for you," he said, digging into his pocket. From it, he pulled a single gold bracelet. Faye's bracelet. Amelia stared at it. "I just thought…"

  Amelia's throat tightened. "Thank you," she said, holding out her hand to take it from him.

  "Get dressed. Meet me in the hospital when you're done. Johan will need to run a series of tests. Then we can start training."

  "Ben." She stood from the bed.

  "Yes?"

  "Do I have any reason to be afraid?"

  He gave her a sad look, filled with what could only be disappointment. "Of course not."

  He left the room, the white door sliding closed behind him.

  Well, one thing was for sure now. She had to learn how to Migrate to go back and figure out a way to save her sister.

  CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

  Time stood still in the Compound.

  The simulated images in her room switched from morning to night, and they stayed on a fairly strict schedule. Still, she had trouble keeping track of the hours. Mornings were the worst, waking up alone in her room. There was the initial feeling that everything was okay. The momentary feeling that nothing was amiss, that there wasn't a gaping hole left in her heart.

  The ceiling would come into focus, and then the room. She would maybe even stretch, snuggle her head against the pillow. Think about the day ahead. And then she would feel her swollen eyes, her sore body, and reality would slap her in the face.

  A wave of sadness, of unbearable heaviness. She would squeeze her eyes closed again, wish sleep to take her away back to that momentary bliss of not feeling the suffocating sadness. She would try to will herself back into her dream, if she'd had one that night. Sometimes she'd try to convince herself that nothing bad had happened. That this whole thing was pretend, made up—a trick.

  Inevitably, she would have to accept it for what it was. This was reality. The hole would never go away.

  Training helped. Ben appeared at her door every morning, straight-backed and looking stern. He turned out to be a demanding teacher. Together, they'd travel to a new room in the Compound. This one was like a large gymnasium with strange equipment that Amelia couldn't recognize. It seemed that the space in the Compound was endless. Here, Amelia encountered pod training, designed to simulate a mock migration, showing her how to sit properly, walking her through what sorts of memories she might see, what sorts of things she might feel. She learned how to focus her mind, to pull herself out of a panic. They practiced breathing to calm their bodies down during the travel.

  "Beneficial," Ben explained, "if you feel like you're spiraling out of control."

  "That's not new for me," Amelia answered, unsure if she wanted him to hear it or not.

  The pods for training were discarded from use a long time ago, but still gave the sensation of what it might feel like to migrate.

  "The real thing is very different," Ben told her on a break between training. "It can be unpredictable. Everyone's experience is different. Just remember to come back to me. Remember my voice. Concentrate."

  In small amounts, they trained her body to be exposed to the bright, white light she'd seen when Ben had first arrived—ASC-15, he called it. Ascension-15 was the energy that fueled their migrations. Full exposure resulted in becoming Affected or, in worst case scenarios, immediate death. For protection, Ben and the others climbed into tubs, coating their bodies in a gray muck that smelled like burnt hair when she washed it off in the shower.

  "It's filled with a protective coating," Ben explained, the first time Amelia eyed the tubs suspiciously. "We do this before each migration - every day, so that the coating soaks into the skin. It helps to protect our bodies against time. The pods are coated, too, but this is an extra protective measure." He looked at her sadly. "That's part of the reason it Affected your sister so negatively so quickly. Full exposure."

  "But there are still side effects though, Right?" Amelia commented, thinking about their conversation on the trip to the Compound. Migrators don't live forever, he had said. In fact, not for very long.

  "Right," he said. "It does take a toll on our bodies." He took no time to dwell on this, explaining instead that the protective coating hosted small magnets to repel against the energy that shot through her body.

  Training was relentless, but Amelia was glad to have something to help her get through the day. By the time she came back to her room each night, she was so exhausted, she had no trouble falling asleep. The light from training was so bright, Amelia began to see it in her dreams. It washed over her, overwhelming her senses every time, so she felt like she was suffocating.

  For now, it was better than the nightmares.

  Amelia woke the day of the migration, for the first time feeling a sense of urgency, a sense of excitement since her sister's passing. The newness of migrating, the uncertainty of what was to come wasn't necessarily a positive feeling, but it wasn't negative either. Amelia was okay with that. Anything was better than the suffocating sadness she had been feeling most days.

  She showered and dressed, her mind racing, throat swelling, chest tight in anticipation. She had to remind herself to focus. Ben told her how quickly a migration could go bad. When she came out of the bathroom, brushing her hair, Ben stood at her door, his body heat visible through it. She smiled at the sight of him despite herself.

  "Come in."

  The door slid up and he entered, dressed in his usual white t-shirt. "Are you ready?"

  "I am." She hoped she sounded confident. Chaotic uncertainty shook within her, but she pushed it away. There was nothing here anymore. Today was a new day. She needed to move forward, if not for herself, then for her sister.

  Ben nodded. "Let's go."

  She followed him into the hall. Esau and Cheyenne huddled together at the end of it. They both crossed their arms, leaning against the wall, waiting patiently for them.

  "Ready?" Esau asked Amelia as they approached.

  She nodded and smiled, despite her stomach turning over.

  "Don't be nervous." Esau read her mind. "It'll be over before you know it."

  "Easy for you to say." She fidgeted with her fingers. Truth be told, she was terrified, but her goal kept her motivated. Faye would be proud of where she was standing now. She would want her to do this.

  "Come on," Ben told them stepping towards the elevator. The three others followed suit, up to the control room where Seraphine and Johan were situated. At the far edge of the room was a door to a room that Amelia had never seen before. It, too, was bright white with a long hallway.

  The three Migrators stepped in front of her towards the door. Ben turned his head over his shoulder to give her a reassuring smile as they all st
epped into the hallway. There was too much to focus on right now. Smiling was the least of her worries. She needed to stay upright. Yes, upright was good. Attached to the hallway wall were small seats, about five feet apart, behind them the half circle of a pod.

  Amelia broke into a cold sweat.

  This was it. There was no turning back now.

  Esau and Cheyenne casually settled into seats at the far end of the hall, their legs only slightly visible.

  "See you on the other side!" Esau's voice was loud, echoing off the narrow walls.

  A loud whoosh sounded, and when Amelia looked back at them, they were gone, covered by a sleek, rounded white hard cover. Their pods had closed. The hairs on her neck stood at attention. She reminded herself that this was normal, this was all supposed to happen. Yet fear plagued her, made it difficult to move or think.

  Ben led Amelia up to the seat next to Cheyenne and helped her into it. It felt uncomfortable, the plastic of the seat cold to the back of her thighs underneath the fabric of her flimsy pants. Her skin felt sticky from the protection layers she'd gathered for so many weeks leading up to the migration, and she was sweaty and hot and re-thinking all of this. But when Ben took a step back to study her, she knew, she trusted him. She trusted everything he'd said to her.

  "Your first trip is bound to be difficult. Try to stay focused. Don't panic. It will all be over soon. When you land, Transport will come for you. You'll be re-directed back to the Habitat. That's where I'll meet you."

  "Okay." This time she forced a smile at him. She reflected on all that she had gone through with her training. At the end of each day, they'd return to the hospital, and each time Amelia passed the bed where Faye had been with a heavy heart. She couldn't bear the constant reminders of her sister. They were too painful to bear. Amelia became interested in only one thing: learning to migrate to find a way to save her sister. This was only the first step.

  "I'll see you on the other side," Ben said, interrupting her thoughts. His blue eyes brimmed with worry.

  She nodded, her body feeling foreign, and with that, the white pod cover came down and hid him from view.

  Her - Book 2 in The Migrator Series

  Coming Soon!

  Thank you for taking this adventure with Amelia and Ben. This book is the first in the series, with the next coming mid-2018. Please subscribe to my newsletter for updates on these upcoming releases.

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  Author's Note

  This book, or series for that matter, would not have happened if it were not for a number of impossibly wonderful writing folks who I am lucky to have entered my life recently. I would like to thank them for pushing me out of my comfort zone, listening to my plot hole problems, helping to flesh out my characters, reading scene after scene, draft after draft, and so on. An enormous think you to Prudence Day, without whom my publishing, marketing efforts, and sanity would be non-existent. Michelle Scissom, Kris McIntyre, Kim Rei, Anne Pyle, Nikki DeKeuster, and Austin Conrad for being a constant soundboard, cheering squad, and great friends. I also have an incredible editor, Megan Harris who helped mold this into finality with excruciatingly accurate edits.

  I am so lucky to also have an incredible group of supportive friends and family without whom this book would also not have happened. Thank you for all your support, shoutouts, and excitement leading up to this release. A huge shoutout is necessary for Anna Dunmeyer and Jessica Micale who urged me to keep going, kept me confident in my dream, and reassured me after (so much) doubt that everything would be okay.

  Lastly, but absolutely not least, to my incredible family. My mother and father for their amazement in this goal, and constant support, guidance, and love. To my beautiful sons, Liam and Devin, may you always follow your dreams, and work hard to reach your goals. I love you little monkeys. Finally, to my husband, Matthew, who is my biggest supporter. Thank you for always believing in me, supporting me on this wild ride, and being my best friend. Even though you don't always understand my writing struggles, you nod your head and help me through it, no matter what. You're the best partner to have, and I love you.