Degrade

by T. L Smith

  “Why do you leave tomorrow?” I ask her, changing the subject.

  “I have to get back to work, back to my routine. I came out here to train a few girls. And now I’m done.”

  “Thanks, Aria,” I say to her.

  “For what?” she says.

  “For being a friend,” I tell her honestly.

  “Don’t get all mushy on me, girl,” she says rolling her eyes, but I can see the faint smile curling up on her lips. “I am gonna go and get us some food. What do you want? I want to laze around today, and I know boss man won’t call me if he knows I’m here with you,” she says.

  “What do you mean, knows you’re here?”

  She stands up and picks up her bag. “I was with him when you text messaged me, he knows where I was going,” she says walking out and telling me she’ll be right back with food. I grab my phone and check to see if I have any messages. There are none, which is unusual. There’s usually not a day goes by that he hasn’t text messaged me. Not all nice, but it was good to receive the smallest message knowing I was on his mind even if it was good or bad.

  There’s a knock on the door not even five minutes later. God, she was fast. When I open the door, though, it’s not her. It’s someone else, someone who hates me.

  “Bexley, you’ve been a major problem for me,” he says pulling out a gun and something shiny. I try to look at it, and when I do it’s too late. It’s jabbed into my neck hard. It doesn’t take long for my vision to go blurry and he becomes two people followed by three. I wonder if he sent him? Sent him to get rid of me, and use Aria as a distraction. I grab at him when I fall, his smile evil. And all I think is that Zeke will kill him for this, even if he doesn’t love me. He will kill him.

  Be of love a little more careful that of anything.

  ~E. E. Cummings~

  “Where is she?” she screams into the phone. I pull the phone away from my ear and take a second to understand what she’s saying. Aria is going crazy on the other end of the phone. I don’t even know why she’s calling me, she was meeting up with Bexley and told me to not message or call either one of them.

  “Calm down, and explain whatever it is you’re rambling about,” I tell her over the phone.

  “She isn’t here,” she says and I can tell she’s either worried or angry.

  “Well, maybe she didn’t want to meet up?”

  “You idiot, I did meet up with her, then I went to grab some food and when I came back her door was wide open and she was gone. Nothing was taken, just her missing.”

  “Find her,” I tell her into the phone, grabbing my keys and heading to her.

  “I am looking, you dickhead. I’ve knocked on every door, gone to the lobby, searched the stairwells. I can’t find her.”

  “I’ll be there in five,” I tell her hanging up then trying her cell, it goes straight to voicemail with no answer.

  I park at the front of the hotel and Aria stands there waiting for me. She holds out what looks like a syringe and places it in the palm of my hand.

  “You were up to this, weren’t you?” she seethes.

  “What is this?” I ask her.

  “I found it on the floor behind the door, there was blood there as well. I sweet talked my way into the security room and guess who I saw in the building?” she hums at me, looking ready to punch me. “Fucking Dunk! You did this, didn’t you? Don’t think I won’t kill you.”

  I don’t give her a word as I walk out and head straight for the car. I’m dialing my phone before I even sit. He doesn’t answer straight away and Aria climbs in next to me.

  “Yo,” he says into the phone.

  “I’m going to slice and dice you if you’ve hurt her,” Aria screams into the phone.

  “Where is she?” I say after her rant.

  “Where’s who?” he says acting dumb.

  “That’s one finger gone,” Aria yells into the phone.

  Fuck! I’ve got to get rid of her.

  “If the next word out of your mouth is a lie again, Dunk, I will hand you to Aria willingly.”

  “That bitch,” he states laughing into the phone. I laugh as well because he’s dumb if he thinks she’s no threat. Very dumb.

  “She’s occupied,” he says still laughing.

  “You have one hour to bring her to me, if you don’t, you may wish you never met me,” I tell him then hang up.

  “Seriously, you gave him an hour? I would have given him five minutes. That dumb fuck,” she swears. I pull over and contact my tech geek. Dunk doesn’t know this, but there’s a tracking device hidden on his phone. I always know where my people are.

  “You so better not have that shit on my phone,” Aria says from next to me listening to what I’ve asked. I smile at her and she pulls a face of disbelief then rolls down the car window and pegs her phone. She looks back at me and smiles.

  “What? What if I was fucking your girlfriend, I don’t want you to be able to track that shit,” she says.

  “I don’t have a girlfriend,” I tell her, ignoring that she just threw her phone out the window.

  “Humph, keep telling yourself that. You may actually believe it.” She laughs.

  Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.

  ~Buddha~

  My neck is sore when I wake, and when I go to rub it I realize my hands are tied together in front of me. I look around to see if anyone is in here and realize I’m in a bedroom. There’s nothing in here but the bed that I’m lying on. There’s no sheets, just a plain mattress. I try to stand and feel my legs begin to buckle, so I sit back down on the bed. I try again for the second time and manage to make it to the door of the room. I turn the handle a few times with no success and then begin to bang on it.

  “Let me go,” I scream hoping someone will hear me, anyone that isn’t Dunk. I try for what feels like an hour and then collapse onto the floor nearest to the door.

  I sit in that spot for ages, my body aching and needing to use the toilet when the door finally opens. A man steps in, a man I don’t recognize until his eyes reach mine.

  “Mika,” I say not bothering moving from my position on the floor. He smiles at me and squats down, so he’s at my eye level. He’s still as handsome as I remember him. His sandy blond hair styled to the side, his strong eyes assessing me.

  “I didn’t think you’d remember,” he says inclining his head to the side.

  “Why am I here?” I ask looking around and gazing past him to the door that’s still shut.

  “You seem to be his weakness, did you know that?” It takes me a moment to gather who he’s talking about. Of course, it all comes back to him, everything in my fucking life does lately.

  “Oh, fucking great, another one that wants to take Zeke down or sleep with him,” I murmur to myself. He chuckles and I like his laugh.

  “I must say, you’re the most beautiful hostage I’ve ever had,” he says still in his squatting position. He reaches out and runs his hand down the side of my face.

  “You must say that to all the girls,” I laugh dryly at him. He removes his hand and his smile is gone.

  “I don’t want to hurt you though someone here does,” he says standing, my brain racks for a second until I figure who he’s talking about. He watches me, a grim smile touching his lips.

  “And I’m taking it that you know who that person is?” he asks.

  “Yes, and if he touches me, I will kill him.” He nods his head and walks toward the door, throwing me a backward glance then leaves locking the door behind him.

  I’m left sitting on the floor, too tired to move let alone stand. I look at my hands and see if I can get these ropes loose. I know how to, I just don’t have the energy to get them off. I collapse onto the floor and lay there, wondering how I could have gotten myself so messed up with all these people.

  When the door opens again later that night, I still haven’t moved. The floor is cold, and my body is shivering. I don’t even bother to look up to see wh
o’s walked in this time though that person lets me know with a kick to my leg. It is pain I feel at first and my face scrunches up as I try not to show the emotions running through me. Though, when I see who it is, the anger takes over.

  “You,” I say angrily to Dunk.

  “You,” he hisses back at me as he walks closer. His cut still sits proudly on his chest, dirty jeans cover his legs.

  “Does he know you’ve done this?” I ask referring to Zeke. He knows who I’m talking about, I see it on his face.

  “He does now,” he replies smiling. His smug face pisses me off.

  “And you betray your friends like that?” I ask him, to which he becomes angrier and I wonder if it’s a smart thing to poke the angry bear.

  “Mika is my brother,” he says squatting down, just like Mika did earlier. He looks at me and I can see the hatred in his eyes, for me. I’m not one hundred percent sure. “Didn’t see that one coming, did you? Did you get my package, Bexley?” His smile is forced, it’s goading me. He sent that to me, the vest with the blood.

  “So you used him?” I ask wondering how I really fit into all of this.

  “He was a means to an end, he had what we wanted, control. He has control over almost everything. Mika has control over certain aspects, but he wants it all, and I don’t want Zeke to have it anymore. He’s gone soft and it’s because of you,” he spits the last word at me.

  “If you think he has gone soft, you’re strongly mistaken. He has a purpose now. That’s all it will be, and I’d hate to be you when he finds you.” He stands, angry at my outburst and slaps me hard across the face. Blood coats my mouth and my eyes start to water from the contact.

  “Don’t piss me off, bitch. I’ll do worse, and make him never want you,” he spits down at me. I cringe again.

  “He’s going to kill you, and you know him better than me. So you should know that,” I say turning my head to show him he doesn’t affect me.

  “He can try, but this place has men all around it. They have orders if he comes to shoot on sight.” My heart squeezes at that thought. The thought of him getting hurt or possibly killed. It shouldn’t, I’m trying not to love him, to not care. Though, I just can’t seem to do so.

  “You betrayed him, but you still care for him? Or still even love him?” he asks.

  “You don’t know anything,” I say turning my head trying not to look at him. Instead, I look to the plain white walls in this bare room.

  “But it’s written all over your face. I can see it clearly, this is going to be good,” he says stepping toward the door. I get a rush of adrenaline and charge him when his back is turned. My front hits his back, sending him face first into the door. I bring my knee up and try to knee him anywhere I can. He pushes me back trying to remove me, but I don’t stop. When he manages to turn around his face is red and full of anger. I stomp my foot down hard on the top of his foot, and when he drops his head from the pain, I karate chop him in the neck. He whines and manages to push me hard backward, my back and head slam down heavy onto the floor. It gives him an advantage over me, especially since I don’t have full use of my hands in this position to push myself up.

  “You little slut, I’m going to break you now,” he says limping as he takes a step toward me. I prepare my body for the impact. But it’s worse than what I was expecting, I feel a rib crack when his boot slams into my side. My mouth rips open with the pain. Screams tear from my throat. He doesn’t stop as he lifts my head by my hair, bringing it to his face as he leans forward.

  “You need to be taught a lesson. You’re lower, you always have been,” he says then punches me hard in my jaw. I feel the impact, my jaw screams in pain, and my mind is trying to switch off, switch away from the agony. He pulls my hair hard, ripping it from my scalp. I wait for the next punch, the punch that will more than likely knock me out when his hands disappear from my head and I’m slammed backward.

  I manage to open my eyes, just to see where he is when I notice that he’s gone. And in his place is Mika, he looks down at me and shakes his head, then he bends down to lift me up. I cry from the movement, my ribs ache with pain. He hushes me, and places me on the mattress, then walks out.

  Not long after a soft hand touches my face, a cold cloth is being used. I see Mika’s face, he stops and drops the cloth, ripping open my shirt, tearing it from my body. I’m left in just a sports bra, and I can’t even move to cover myself if I wanted to. I’m afraid it will hurt. He lifts me slightly, and I bite my lip until I taste the metallic taste of blood. He’s wrapping something around me, and when I look down I notice he’s bandaging up my ribs. When he stops, he places a blanket over me and stands so I can see him clearly.

  “I warned you, I’ll try to keep him away. You shouldn’t have hit him,” he says looking sad. I don’t talk to him; I try not to even look at him. He must hear my thoughts because he leaves without a word, and shuts and locks the door on his way out. Not that it would matter, there’s nothing I could do, I can’t even move.

  It is sad not to love, but it is much sadder not to be able to love.

  ~Miguel de Unamuno~

  I wake to noises, loud noises. Gun shots, yelling. I got next to no sleep the night before, waking in pain. I haven’t eaten for a full day, haven’t been able to use a proper bathroom. My body aches; my mind aches from over thinking. I want to go home, I want to leave all this behind and I particularly want never to see any one of these people’s faces again. And Zeke, well I can’t even think of him. I think that relationship is over, even though it was never a real relationship, more a one-sided connection for the both times we tried.

  The voices get louder, closer. I recognize one of the voices. It’s Aria, and she sounds pissed off. The door to my room is kicked open, and I can’t even lift my head to see who it is. I can’t move my body without crying out in pain, so I stay perfectly still. Not knowing who it will be.

  “Pixie?” I wave of relief shoots through me. He came. “How badly are you hurt?” he asks standing in front of me. His face is torn as if he can feel my pain. He’s wearing a black shirt that hugs his body and jeans that sit on hips. He leans down and lifts me up, not getting an answer since I can’t answer. When his arms circle around me I cry out. His face scrunches and he carries me like a baby toward the door, Aria in front of him talking fast and harshly to Mika. Dunk is shot, and lying on the ground, not moving.

  “You hurt her?” Aria says harshly to Mika, he looks taken aback by her words. Kind of mesmerized. He looks back to me and his face winces.

  “No,” he says shaking his head. He looks down at his brother, who’s dead or knocked out.

  “All this for me? You know I should kill you, torture you the way I do the rest,” Aria says smiling, he smiles as well. He’s not scared of her one little bit.

  “Aria,” Zeke says and starts walking with me. Mika goes to reach a hand out to touch me, and Zeke growls loudly. He walks faster and when I meet the sun, my eyes shut. He places me on the back seat of a car trying his hardest to be as gentle as possible with me. Closing the door, he climbs in the driver’s seat. Aria opens her door and slides in the passenger seat, turning her head she looks back to me.

  “You look like you’re having a shit day,” she says. I want to laugh, but all I can manage is a weak smile.

  “Don’t make her laugh, Aria, her fucking ribs are broken,” Zeke says angrily from the driver’s side.

  “Should’ve broken his,” she says one side of her lip quirks up in a smile.

  “How did you get in? People with guns?” I say, just not able to get the full sentence out properly.

  “We tracked him, and you forget I’m good with a bow, Sweetie. I can shoot from a very long distance,” she says holding her hands up showcasing how she shot them.

  “Hospital,” I say. Aria shakes her head and the car comes to a full stop. Doors are opened, then his voice is there.

  “I have to carry you inside, it’s going to hurt,” he says picking me up. Oh my, God, it hu
rts bad. How do people in movies continue to move with broken ribs? Are those fuckers crazy?

  At first I think he’s taking me to a hospital, but when I look, I see we’re actually at his house, the one I lived in with him. Aria opens the door and he carries me in, takes me to the bed I once slept in, once had sex in. It feels like such a long time ago now.

  My back hits the bed and it’s a relief as well as painful. Zeke steps back and a woman replaces him. She assesses my face with soft hands then removes the bandages wrapped around my ribs. She shakes her head and tells me she’s going to give me something for the pain and when a needle is stuck in my arm, it isn’t long until I fall fast asleep. Sleep that is much needed and wanted.

  People think love is an emotion. Love is good sense.

  ~Ken Kesey~

  We didn’t waste time going in once we knew where she was, and they weren’t expecting us that much was obvious. Aria took three men out straight away with her bow, and once we were in, she took out another two. It didn’t matter who they were. When we reached Dunk, I lost it. He started goading me, telling me things he shouldn’t have.

  “You come for that, slut?” he asks spitting on the floor. “I fucked her up real bad, made her cry and scream, you won’t want her anymore,” he says to which my mind left me and my body took over. My hands were around his throat and I beat the living shit out of him. He dropped to the floor like the piece of shit he was, and then a bullet was put into his head for good measure.

  Mika though, he was calm. Not saying a word unless it was to Aria. He was pissed that she came here to take his business, a business that’s mine. Though he’s healthy competition. He didn’t expect her though, and when he laid eyes on her, I could see a captivated man. The same way I was the first time I saw Bexley. I want to tell him he would be screwed worse than me because that bitch is one crazy brand of fucked up.