When We Collide

by A. L. Jackson

  She gasped a quiet hiss of pleasure.

  I kissed her harder and caressed my hand up her spine to free the clasp. She stepped back and tossed it aside.

  Bending my knees, I leaned down to lift her from below the hips. The soft swell of her belly pressed into my chest, and a veil of her hair fell around us. Maggie clung to me, her feet dangling above the floor as I buried my face in her scars.

  It all felt like agony, like air.

  I captured her breast in my mouth. Maggie’s hold tightened. “William...please.”

  I turned and laid her on the bed, dragging her jeans and panties down in the same motion.

  Maggie panted, her face flushed. She arched in silent appeal.

  Body quickened with strain, I climbed between her legs. I slid my palms up her sides as I moved higher, and wove them under her shoulders to cradle the back of her head. Her eyes were wide, her lips parted, her heart pounding with the rapid rise and fall of her chest.

  I spread my fingers wide and cupped her bruised face in my hands, my thumbs running over her cheeks. The marks had faded, but not the magnitude of what they meant. I trembled in restraint when I settled over her.

  “Tell me,” I said as I brushed her lips with mine.

  Gentle fingers fluttered up to my face, and Maggie traced my jaw. Her eyes filled with understanding, with the same tenderness that had initially caused me to fall in love with her. “I don’t know how to stop loving you.”

  I closed my eyes and let the mirrored words wash over me. Neither time nor circumstance had changed what we’d shared. My smile was soft as I looked down at the same broken girl who’d captured me, both of us so different yet somehow exactly the same.

  I shook as I filled her.

  “I love you, Maggie.”

  She gasped and encircled me with her arms. The tremor that rolled through her body became mine. Maggie whispered in my ear. “Every second.”

  I shifted to my elbows to watch down over the girl who still stole my breath while I stole hers. Her eyes were open and wide, flitting over my face, memorizing, remembering this. Pleasure rippled and danced with the heartbreak. Soft moans and promises neither of us were sure we could keep filled the tiny room.

  Everything we’d hidden inside was revealed, six years of pent-up desire and loss poured out between us. Holding her was ecstasy, every touch perfection.

  Her delicate hands pressed into my lower back, her mouth hungry for mine.

  “William.” Maggie strained against me, her back tensed and bowed. “Please.”

  “Maggie.” I rushed, a desperate hand gripping the softness of her hip.

  Maggie fell.

  Her face filled with the same expression that had haunted me for years, something so free and full of trust. Pink flushed her neck, tinted her cheeks, and my name rolled from her lips.

  It was still the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

  I lost myself in her, in the tiny murmurs that continued to slip from her mouth, in the tremors that shook her body.

  I shuddered, hit with the most intense pleasure I’d ever known, need amplified by a flood of devotion. I was determined to never let her go.

  Maggie nestled into the pillow of my arm, her head resting on my shoulder. Her heart still thundered against my ribcage, my breaths still short. Fingers intertwined, I held our hands up between us and studied them in the darkened room. Maybe if I stared long enough I would see a visible bond holding us together.

  Maggie released a stuttered sigh. “This doesn’t feel real,” she said.

  I dropped my chin to see the wistful smile on her face, her fingertips playing with mine.

  I kissed her forehead and whispered against her dampened skin as I tightened my hold, “This is the first time I’ve felt real in six years.”

  Her hand dropped to press at my bare stomach when she shifted. Warm brown eyes stared up at me with a tenderness and insecurity I’d almost forgotten. “I love you, William. You always knew, didn’t you?”

  I swallowed and averted my gaze to the ceiling. Shadows crawled along the surface, like secrets fighting their way out. I played with a strand of her hair, needing something to ground me to the present as I struggled through the past.

  “I tried to forget.” I glanced at her, and then away. “You broke something in me that night, Maggie. Subconsciously, I knew you were hurting just as badly as I was, but another part of me couldn’t handle it. I spent a long time trying to hate you.”

  Maggie stiffened in my arms, and I looked down to see the pain my admission caused. I caressed the tear from her cheek.

  “Maggie…it didn’t work. The second I saw you at my mom’s…it was like I was standing in front of you in our spot all those years before, and you were telling me to leave again. Nothing had changed. It still hurt just as bad, and I still loved you just as much. And then there was this little boy…” I trailed off. How could I describe what that had felt like?

  Lines creased between her brows as she squeezed her eyes shut and seemed to try to block out memories. She rolled to her side and propped herself up on her hand. I reached up to cradle her face in my palm. The six years we’d been apart had wiped out the little innocence she’d had left and added a new darkness I wished I could erase. But beneath it all, I saw she was still the same beautiful girl, the one who’d opened up to me and shared her secret life. The one who, as scared as she’d been of it, had loved me. Tears swam in the depth of her eyes and slid down her face.

  “That was the worst night of my life, William. I could barely look at you.” She paused. Her bottom lip blanched when she bit it, but her gaze was unwavering. “Troy ruined me that night.” She blinked twice and slightly shook her head. “He found me when I was walking back to my parents that evening and dragged me into the forest. He forced me.” Maggie pressed her face into my hand as if she needed the support, her tone desperate, “I never would have chosen him over you. Tell me you believe that. I loved you...you were the only thing I ever wanted.”

  Horror pierced me straight through. That sick bastard had known what would harm her most, where her deepest fears laid, and used it as an easy manipulation. Hatred pumped old rage through my veins.

  Blake had been right.

  Troy had found a way to make me pay.

  I lifted my other hand to her face and tightened my hold.

  “God, of course I believe you. Why didn’t you just tell me? I would have taken care of you. Gone to the police or...something.” I closed my eyes, trying to block out the cruel images. They came at me mercilessly, penetrating to the darkest places of my soul.

  He will find a way to make you pay.

  “He should be in prison, Maggie.” Or dead. Men like that didn’t deserve to live.

  Regret colored Maggie’s face, and she reached out to gently wrap her hand around my wrist. “I was sick with shame. I couldn’t stand you knowing what he’d done to me.”

  “I could never be ashamed of you. No matter what he did, it doesn’t change who you are or how I feel about you.”

  “I understand that now, but you also knew me, William, and you have to know how hard it was for me to believe that then. You were the only one who ever understood how scared and lost I was, and then Troy knocked me lower than anyone ever had. He kept me in that place for years.” Maggie ran her fingers over the stubble that coated my jaw, and she inclined her head in emphasis. “I didn’t want to be there, but I was helpless to get away.”

  Wrapping an arm around her waist, I slowly rolled her to her back and climbed back over her. The urge to protect her was too great, the need to make up for what I’d allowed to happen too strong.

  I laid low on her body, my arms a cage at her sides. I rested my head below her chest, near the scars that taunted the mistakes I’d made.

  “I’m so sorry,” I whispered into the warmth of her flesh. “I never should have walked away that night. I did know, Maggie. I knew you were lying to me, to yourself, to us. I didn’t know how to handle it. You
have no idea how much I wish I could take it back.”

  Her chest expanded with each panted breath she took. I relished in the sensation, her life beating below me. I ran my hand down her side and over the swell of her hip, wondering how it was possible to love someone this much.

  “It’s not your fault, William…he did this to us.” Her fingers gentled through my hair, scraped over the stitches hidden behind my ear. Maggie froze.

  I lifted my head, and her hand moved with the motion to rest on my cheek.

  I felt the way her fear made her hand shake against my cheek.

  “He knows there’s something between us, Maggie. I don’t know how much, but he suspects something.”

  A tremor rolled through her, although she nodded as if she wasn’t all that surprised. “He hurt you,” she said with a heavy sadness.

  “Maggie—”

  She cut me off. From her expression, she already knew what I was going to say. “When did it happen?”

  “Last weekend. Blake and I were at the bar. I didn’t see him, but I know it was him.” I left out the warning, the stench of derangement that had seeped from his being.

  Reaching out, I traced the marks littering her face, drawing a line back to that night. What scared me most was I didn’t know how much he knew or if he suspected Jonathan belonged to me.

  “Maggie, we have to—”

  She silenced me with two fingers on my lips. “I’m already gone, William. He keeps calling and demanding that I bring Jonathan home, but I’m not going back. He thinks I’m going to, but the second I can sneak away, I’m leaving.”

  “Where?” I scooted up, holding my weight with my hands.

  “I don’t know…I’m just…going. Somewhere far. As far away as I can get.” Her expression shifted, insecurity lighting in her eyes, her voice soft. “Come with me?”

  Maybe she expected me to say no, to give her reasons why it was insane like she’d done to me before. But my answer was easy and given without question.

  “Of course.” I refused to be anywhere else.

  Her expression didn’t soften. If anything, it saddened.

  “I…I need to know.” She searched my face. “If it turns out Jonathan isn’t yours, can you still love him?” Words laced with pain, but resolute. She’d put her son’s wellbeing before her happiness. I knew that’s what she’d been trying to do all along. This time, she was doing it right.

  Thoughts of the child charged through my spirit as I immersed myself in the devotion she had for our son. I kissed her, my touch a promise. “Maggie, I already do.”

  For hours, I held her as we talked through the night like we’d done so many times before. The small house became our refuge, the four walls rising up in protection as we whispered stories of the last six years into its confines. There was no chance I could ever fully grasp what Maggie had been through or the burden of the blame she carried. No chance I could understand how the fear had consumed her every day.

  What I did know was I wished I would have ended Troy that night.

  “I’ve made so many mistakes.” Maggie’s head was back on my shoulder, and she ran lazy circles with her fingertips over my chest. Her tone was full of regret.

  I kissed the top of her head, my nose in her hair. “We all have.”

  Or maybe our circumstances made them for us.

  I drew her closer as the first hint of morning lightened the darkness at the window, and I kissed her reverently as I held her cheek in my hand. “Are you ready?”

  She leaned into the connection, her eyes closed, and nodded. “Yes.”

  We dressed in silence, stealing glances at one another, a steady build of anxiety filling the room.

  Taking her hand, I led her out into the emerging morning light. Above the trees, the black sky had brightened to a dull grayish blue. There was barely a chill to the air, but Maggie still shivered.

  “Are you scared?” I looked her way as we walked hand-in-hand over the graveled driveway.

  At the end of the drive, we turned to face each other, our fingers still woven, the air in the six inches of space between us a slowly simmering storm. “Terrified,” she admitted.

  As much as I wanted to tell her it would all be okay and she had nothing to worry about, I’d never belittle what she’d lived through with Troy. We both knew what he was capable of. Instead I pulled her into my arms and murmured against her head, “I love you, Maggie.”

  On a sigh, she relaxed into my hold, the warmth of her breath at my neck. “Jonathan’s going to be so confused.”

  My gaze traveled up the street to where our child still slept, unaware the life he knew was soon to be upended. “What will you tell him?”

  “The truth, I guess.” She tightened her hold, looked up at me from the circle of my arms. “As much as he can understand, anyway.”

  “Do you think he’ll be frightened of me?” Sadness spiked in my chest, grief for the child I felt so close to yet still didn’t know.

  “I don’t know…a little, probably. But he thinks you’re good.” A pensive smile lifted her mouth. “He’ll be okay. He’s just going to need some time to get used to you.”

  I pulled her closer, kissed her softly. “I’ll do whatever it takes.”

  Stepping back, Maggie squeezed my hand between us, and glanced over her shoulder up the street. “I need to get back before Jonathan wakes up. I’ll let you know as soon as I’m ready to go.”

  I nodded. “I’ll be waiting.”

  Her hand dropped away and my heart clenched. Yesterday, I’d been desperate for a resolution, and today, I finally had one. With it came every kind of fear that could ever be found, physical fear for a girl who was the bravest I knew, fear of the intense love I felt for her, fear of becoming a father.

  I watched as she moved up the street, her movements slow and filled with contemplation. In front of her sister’s, Maggie hesitated, looking back at me. I lifted my hand. My smile was soft, and her expression was knowing.

  We were risking it all.

  When she disappeared inside, I turned to go back to the guesthouse. I froze when I noticed the figure concealed on the front porch. Blake eased forward and rested a hand above his head on the wood post.

  “You leaving?”

  I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked up at my brother. “Yeah.”

  We stared at each other. Blake nodded, and a satisfied smile crept over the shadows of his face.

  Chapter Nineteen

  William ~ Present Day

  Blake followed me into the guesthouse, pausing at the door as he apprised the small room. “You gonna tell me what happened?” He moved to sit at the edge of the chair.

  I scratched at the back of my head. “She just showed up in the middle of the night. God, Blake, I can’t begin to tell you the things she’s been through.” My mouth opened on a heavy exhale. “But she’s ready to get out, and I’m going with her.” I looked over at my brother. “You know I’d stay if I could? This isn’t the same as before. I’m not leaving because I’m running.”

  Blake leaned forward with his forearms on his legs, clasping his hands together. “You think I don’t get that, Will? They’re your family. You’re supposed to take care of them. I’d be disappointed in you if you didn’t go with them.”

  I shouldn’t have been surprised that Blake would be one-hundred percent supportive.

  “I’ll be back. As soon as we figure all this shit out,” I promised.

  “When are you leaving?”

  “Today or tomorrow. This is a huge step for her. I think she’s been stalling because she’s scared to take it. I wanted to leave first thing this morning, but she said she needed to tell her sister everything first.” It killed me Troy still held that dominance over her, the needling of control he’d so precisely woven into her over the years.

  “You think she’ll go through with it?”

  I stilled, thinking of everything Maggie had revealed to me last night. “Yeah, I do.”

  Grabbing
the suitcase from the top shelf of the closet, I began tossing my meager belongings inside, wanting to be prepared for the moment Maggie came for me.

  Blake sat up. “What are you going to tell Mom?”

  “The truth. I’m going to head over there after I get my stuff packed.”

  “You know Mom’s not going to be happy to learn you had an affair with the girl who cleaned our house.”

  I recoiled at the assertion, disgusted by the very term. But I had to accept by hiding our relationship the way we had, that’s exactly what we’d made it. It wouldn’t even make sense to Mom the way it had to Blake. There were no clues for her to snap into place. She had no idea of the way I’d fought for Maggie. I’d not let my mother in, hadn’t shown her how my life and heart had been forever changed that summer.

  “And she just got you back, and now you’re leaving again. This is going to be a lot for her to take in on one day.”

  “I know, but I don’t have a choice. I have to believe she’ll understand.”

  It took me all of ten minutes to pack the few things I had in the guesthouse. I left my suitcase on the floor, ready for Maggie when she was ready for me. Then I followed Blake out.

  Neither of us pretended me pulling up the roots that had just been planted wasn’t going to hurt. As much as I would miss it here, where I was headed was so much greater.

  To Maggie. To Jonathan.

  To Life.

  Comfort slipped as warmth over my skin, assuaged the fear bubbling under the surface. I now recognized the dreams as a call, a lure for where I was supposed to be.

  “All right, man, I have to head to work. Just keep me updated, okay?”

  “Sure thing.”

  Blake leaned in for a shake and pulled me into a hug. “Be safe, Will.”

  I backed out behind Blake. Accelerating up the road, I traced my thumb over the face plate of my phone and brought it to my ear. I drummed my fingers impatiently on the steering wheel. The phone rang four times then went to voicemail. Silently cursing, I listened through the prompt and waited for the beep. Why I would have expected Tom to answer his work line so early in the morning, I had no idea. It was barely eight my time and much earlier in California.