11 Hours

by Daniel Paul Singh

  around the park” I asked.

  “No da, not interested. Besides it costs 100 per head, we will just

  walk”

  “I am already feeling tired and its just 100 bucks, come on” “Noooo, let it go” she insisted and walked away.

  I stood for some time and then followed her and asked, “But why? What’s in a ride?”

  “When I reached Bangalore, you know what happened to my

  grandpa?”

  “How can I forget it?”

  “We took him from the train in a similar vehicle. It reminds me of

  that, that’s why I didn’t want to come”

  “I am sorry dear. I didn’t know”

  “That’s okay “she said and suddenly grabbed my right hand. I have seen several movies where the heroine touches the hero’s

  hand and he feels a sensational current shock passing through his

  hand. I had always laughed off on seeing such scenes. But the

  moment Brindha grasped my hand, I felt a tingling sensation in my

  body, I felt a wave of passion rushing through my veins, a few to the

  brain and a few in the opposite direction. It felt corny and heavenly

  at the same time.

  “There is a monkey” she freaked out and hid behind me. I looked

  at the monkey, smiled and thanked him from the bottom of my heart. “So what if it’s a monkey. It’s just a monkey”

  “It’s a monkey, shoo it away” she kept insisting, still holding my

  hand. The monkey ran away after sometime and she let go off her

  hold. I started to long for her touch. As we strode along through the

  park, a slope came along. I told that I wanted to go over the slope to

  the other end. She had a look at it and said.

  “Alright, see, there are steps few feet ahead, we will take that” “Why don’t we just climb over this slope? It will be fun” “I will fall” she told with a fake fear.

  “You wouldn’t. “I promised.

  “Then you will have to hold my hand as we walk” she made an

  offer I would never refuse.

  “Sure” I said and we walked hand in hand. I wanted to make sure

  that I had a firm hold on the slope, before I could balance her.

  Nothing could be more hilarious and belittling than falling in front of

  your crush while trying to save her. She held my hand a couple of

  more times, taking me hither and tither, buying coffee seeds,

  ayurvedic medicinal packets and the like. Lalbagh was to be etched in

  my memory for a long time thanks to those few touches of hers.

  My return bus to Chennai was at 10 pm. We had our dinner in a hotel near the bus stop. As we were eating, she gifted me a coffee mug.

  “Whats this?”

  “Just a small gift from me Rob”

  “Is this even needed?” I gave a puzzled look.

  “Just have it, as a memory” she insisted.

  “I don’t have anything to give you”

  “You came here all the way for me, just for me, that is enough” I could only smile. We finished our dinner and came to the bus

  stop. My bus arrived. I didn’t want to leave her. I kept looking at her. Her eyes asked me to stay. I couldn’t bring myself to tell good bye to her. The door of the bus opened and the conductor had blown the whistle, waiting for me to get in. The bus stop was crowded.

  I wanted to hug her, I so badly wanted to hug her, but wasn’t sure if it would be a non-lust, genuine, gentle hug. I resisted my temptation and got in the bus. She waved her hands. I waved back as her face was lost in the multitude of crowd.

  I texted her as I sat in the bus.

  “You know what, I have to say this”

  “Yes. Is there a beautiful girl opposite to you?” she asked. “No and there isn’t any girl either” I sent. “Besides, I don’t find

  anyone else more beautiful than you now” I thought.

  “Tell me Rob”

  “I love you” I sent and waited. Waited with bated breath. After a

  few minutes came the reply.

  “I love you too” I gave a deep sigh of relief and blushed, but

  added.

  “Love more in the sense of care, not like the normal love or lust

  or anything, more like friends only, I will care for you and love you…

  that way”

  “Oh, like that?” she replied.

  “Yes, I love you” I said more confidently this time.

  “Hmmm”

  “What Hmmm?”

  “Love you too” she said. I wasn’t definitely going to propose to

  her over message. I had had several ideas of dream proposals. It was

  one memorable, worthy trip.

  In the following days, Brindha never talked to me about her new alliance. I guessed that the talks should have failed and she was happy about it. But within few days, she got another alliance and she went back to her old ways. I still hadn’t proposed her officially and she knew that I would propose her anytime. With that being the case, her behavior irritated me. I couldn’t take it further and was clearly pissed off. There was nothing worse than not fighting for what you want.

  Aggravated by the increasing number of mails from her about her alliance, I told her plainly.

  “Bru, listen! Emotionally, we are too dependent on each other these days. We can’t be without texting each other even for a minute, how do you think this could continue post your wedding? There has to be an end to it.”

  “End, what end?” she asked.

  “See, nothing can last forever. I am sure your hubby wouldn’t like me texting you this way”

  “So?”

  “So, let’s just try to reduce it”

  “Reduce texting, like what?”

  “Let’s not text or mail each other for the whole of tomorrow”

  “What?” she was confused.

  “Let’s not communicate with each other for one day and then see if we will be able to do it and then be without each other”

  “Rob, I definitely can’t do that”

  “If not now, then it will be really difficult for you after your wedding”

  “I don’t care, but I can’t do it now. Let’s not do it, let’s just not do it”

  “No bru, we have to, we have to try”

  “I have given my stance, then your wish” she said.

  “From tomorrow morning till night, no texts or mails” I sent her.

  She was quite disturbed and disinterested to talk to me even that very night. I wasn’t sure how I was going to be without talking to her. We were virtually connected 24/7, but considering her marriage proposals and alliances, I didn’t have a choice. Either she should have taken the relationship with me to the next level or stop talking to me about other men in her life to provoke me or to make me feel jealous. I couldn’t take it any further.

  The next day was the cruelest day in my life. I found it extremely difficult not to text her. I was sure, she should have suffered equally, if not more. The day moved at a turtle’s pace. I couldn’t control any further.

  It was around 8 pm when I messaged her while returning from office.

  “Okay, I give up. I can’t be without messaging you, I can’t. I need you”

  “Hmmmm” came the reply. The reply that she usually sent when she was angry.

  “What?”

  “Nothing, you told not to text till tomorrow”

  “Yes, I did. But I confess now that I can’t be without texting you, what now?”

  “What do you want me to do? Text you now?”

  I had to call her and explain my side of logic. It fell on deaf ears. She was in no mood to listen.

  “Do you remember Ramesh?” she asked me.

  “Your first love?”

  “And why did we break up?”

  “I don’t remember the reason exactly”

  “Becau
se, he behaved in the exact same way you behaved today, he avoided me”

  “I wasn’t avoiding you dear”

  “Just don’t call me dear…”

  “Bru, I love you”

  “Don’t say that!! Yes, I found it difficult not to text you. Yes, it was hard, but what you did to me today, reminded me of him. You are no different than him”

  “Bru, come on. It was, it was a hasty stupid decision of mine”

  “But it has made things clear for me, Rob”

  “Won’t you say ‘love you’ once?”

  “I think it’s better if we continue to be this way”

  “I am sorry bru. Wait! What? Continue like what?” I asked without understanding what she meant.

  “I think we should break up, this - whatever relationship of ours is.” She uttered in an emotionless tone.

  ₪ ₪ ₪

  Chapter 17 Hospital Diaries Diana uttered in an emotionless tone, “Rob, I am afraid I am suffering from cancer”

  “What the heck are you even talking about? Come on Diana, be serious”

  “Do you think I am kidding?”

  “Tell me what happened” I made her sit up on the bed and listened to what she had to say.

  “I see spotting when I take a leak, I see blood drops. Just not today, but for the past two/three days. I checked the reason for such symptoms over the internet and it came out as a uterine cancer.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me about the blood leak? Where did you check? Is there any pain in your lower abdomen?”

  “There is no pain or may be I don’t feel it much, but I am scared. Will I die Rob?” she was genuinely upset.

  “Come on darling, don’t even talk like that. Don’t worry. Wait, one of my friend is a doctor, let me check with her” saying I called my friend and explained her my wife’s situation. She listened to me carefully and asked me to take Diana to the nearest hospital and do a urine checkup.

  I felt something had gone wrong and headed to Dr. Kamakshi hospital in Pallikarani. The doctor, who examined my wife, asked her to do a pregnancy test, a urine test, followed by an ultrasound scan of the vaginal tube. Pregnancy test!?

  I was confused with what the doctor was saying, nevertheless we took all the tests and took it back to the doctor. The nurse in the waiting area told us that the pregnancy test was positive, but the fetus was in the fallopian tube. I couldn’t comprehend, but was happy that Diana was pregnant. The doctor called us in after a while and I went in with happiness written all over my face. The doctor though, was much upset and sad, which forced me to change my expression.

  “Any problem doctor?” I asked in a low tone.

  “Yes. This is a case of ectopic pregnancy. Her HCG count is also high. We need to act immediately”

  “Wait, she is pregnant, right? What’s there to act?”

  “Listen” she said and drew the female reproductive system on a paper and explained me. “This is the uterus, the baby has to be formed here, but in your wife’s case, its formed in the fallopian tubes, which is the tube connecting the uterus. This won’t be thick and is not expandable and if the baby is going to be there for a few more weeks, it will rupture, cause internal bleeding and even result in” she paused, looked at my wife and continued, “Death”.

  My face turned pale. Diana wasn’t reacting much. I could understand the pain she was going through and wished I could take in her pain as well. I held her hand tight.

  “Is there no way, we could pull the baby into the uterus?” I asked the doctor.

  “It has never been successful”

  I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to look at Diana.

  “What’s the alternative?”

  “We will give her a drug, ‘Methotrexate’ if her body reacts to it positively, the fetus will be destroyed and will mix with body wastes and will be disposed.”

  “How effective will it be?”

  “Very effective, that’s the one recommended as well”

  “Can we go home, discuss and then tell you?”

  “The HCG count is 5000, which means she is five weeks pregnant, I would strongly suggest you get her admitted right away”

  “Now??? Just like that?” I turned towards Diana. There were no emotions left in her face.

  “Yes” the doctor replied

  “No doctor, just give us one more day. We will get admitted tomorrow” saying that I took Diana and left the room. We didn’t talk to each other. She held my hand tight. The lift door opened in the fourth floor and we both got in. Just as the door was about to close, I saw a nurse running towards the lift. I kept the door open for her, she got in and then the lift started to go down.

  I was staring aimlessly at the lift door with a million thoughts occupying my mind. Is there a way we could get back this baby? Is there a way to move it uterus? What will happen to Diana? Will it be painful for her? Diana disturbed my thought flow with a nudge on my shoulder and asked me to look at what the nurse was holding. I looked around to see the nurse. She was holding a small white package close to her chest. It felt like a package at first, but when I looked at it even morecloser, I found a small face bound within the white towel. The baby had small tiny eyes and a tinier nose and mouth. The baby’s face was pink and he was the most beautiful thing I had seen in all my life. He had bright button eyes and was looking at the nurse in the cutest way possible.

  “Oh my God, is it, a new born?” I asked her.

  “Yes. It’s just been an hour. I am taking him to her mom” she replied.

  I never knew new born babies were that beautiful. The nurse got down in second floor and the door closed behind her leaving me and Diana inside. I looked at Diana. She was still gazing at the place where the nurse was standing.

  I went close to her and gave a gentle kiss on her forehead, she slid her head on my shoulders. I uttered, “I will always be there for you.” A small drop of tear from her eyes fell on my T shirt. She composed herself and looked up, I held her hand tight.

  My parents were waiting for us and my mom asked what had happened as soon as I entered. I explained everything and told her that we were expected to get Diana admitted the following morning. There was an eerie silence. My mom went and talked to Diana and gave her strength. Women had their own way of bonding together after a fight. The whole family supported her.

  My dad came next to me and said.” Don’t worry, it’s said that the first one is always rotten. May be its all God’s plans, everything happens for a reason. All will be well”.

  I went to my room, hugged Diana tight and slept through the night.

  The next morning, she got ready, packed a few clothes, took some basic necessities and we went to the hospital and got her admitted. Her parents came to visit her. We all took turns to stay with her. She was advised to stay in hospital bed for 5 days and was kept under constant surveillance to check if her body was reacting positively to the drug. I brought her lunch and dinner from home. I had only one thing in mind. She wasn’t going to go through it all alone.

  I wanted to be with her in every small pain and suffering of hers. Losing a baby that has been just formed was no joke. Losing it for no known reason was cruel. Her face was enough to tell me what she was going through. I knew I couldn’t bear her pain, I knew I wouldn’t feel as guilty as her, I knew she needed me more than anything. I wanted to make sure that she had a will, a strong will and a belief that her husband would be beside her at times of adversity and sorrow; a hope that she could look up to and be happy for. As long as I was with her, I made it a point to joke around, make funny faces and tried to keep her smiling. If she looked too sick, I would take my phone and pretend to take a snap of hers, she being a photoholic, would end up with a smile. The doctors were monitoring her progress and were happy that she was reacting well to the drug.

  Her parents stayed with her during the day and I stayed at night and whenever I could. When I was in her room, I made sure it was filled with laughter, so much that the nurse even warned me once to
maintain silence. When her parents weren’t around, we watched the History Channel’s Houdini. She became a fan of the series and even watched the repeat telecasts. We also got our sneak peek kisses when the doctors weren’t around.

  “That girl looks gorgeous in that pink evening gown” she exclaimed one night seeing someone in TV.

  “It’s the costume, anyone will look good in that dress. But you look better even in this medical gown” I smiled. She reciprocated.

  There is so much that life could teach you when you are in a hospital bed. I learnt that prawn was her favorite non-veg food, that she didn’t like milk that she loved to be pampered like a kid, that she loved me more than anything in the world and that I was her world.

  “You know what?” she asked me.

  “I know so many things, what exactly are you looking for baby?”

  “I have never loved you so much, ever” she looked into my eyes and said.

  “I have never loved you so much ever” I mimicked her statement by making faces and she hit me with her left hand.

  Her HCG count came down by the 5th day around 5 PM and the doctors permitted her to be discharged. She was asked to rest for a month. She decided to take rest at her parent’s place and I didn’t object.

  Also as an after effect of ectopic pregnancy, sex was prohibited for 4 months. The timing of this ban was so bad that porn sites were also banned by the Indian government at that time. I was totally a dejected man who had to live his life with the saved DVDs and porn loops.

  Diana came home after twenty days and was a changed woman. She was more matured, blended well with my parents and I felt that she was no longer the child she used to be. She and my mom patched up after a few months and things returned to status quo at home. I was happy, the two most important women in my life finally started to get along well.

  Time was indeed a healer. Ours became the happy family it used to be, until that fateful day, when she went missing. She had gone missing. She was kidnapped. Someone was using her as a bait to find Brindha. Diana was in trouble.

  “Diana!!” I screamed at the top of my voice as I woke up. I was in a hospital bed, a syringe was inserted in my right hand and glucose was being supplied. I looked all around frantically when a nurse came running towards me. She asked me to remain calm and breathe easily. Why am in a hospital bed? What the hell happened?