A Light in the Window

by Jolyse Barnett

  “Well, it feels colder.”

  “Let’s go inside and warm up then, unless you’ve had a change of heart?” He waited.

  She stared at gloved hands clasped in her lap. “This is really friends with bennies? You don’t expect more? We’re not going to hate each other afterward?”

  He bent over the chair and leaned forward, his hands gripping the furniture’s arms. “Yes. No. No.” He held her gaze. “What’s going on?”

  She stuck out her chin. “I just want you to know, even though we’re going to do this, I’m still leaving. I can come home more often in future, but I’m not going to settle in Starling. It’s not in the plan.”

  He touched a finger to her lips. “I can handle reality, I think. I’m a big boy.”

  Her knees stopped bouncing and her eyes fell to the fly of his jeans. “I see that.” She smiled up at him.

  Her eyes sparkling up at him almost undid him. He nodded toward the door. “Want a drink by the fire?” He’d planned to move inside right away, but then her lips fell apart and her lashes fluttered onto her pale cheeks and all he could do was slide his tongue across her chilled mouth and inside toward her heavenly warmth. Ahh, she tasted so sweet.

  She slid her hands along the sleeves of his ski jacket to his shoulders and gripping the collar, pulled him closer. She moaned as their kiss deepened.

  He pulled away and sucked in a ragged breath. If they didn’t stop, he was going to take her right here, in this uncomfortable chair on his freezing cold side porch. “C’mon.” He grabbed her hands in his and pulled her to a standing position.

  Jade leaned against him. “I just want to warn you. I may have forgotten how to do this.”

  He rubbed his hands along her arms. “I’m happy to take a refresher course with you if you still want to stay?”

  She nodded.

  He walked with her to the door and turned the key in the lock. Inside, they removed their coats and boots before he led the way through his dimly lit house. It smelled of pot roast cooking in the crock pot and pine from his Christmas tree.

  Sadie greeted them with a sniff and lick, her nails clicking on the kitchen and living room floors before she returned to her spot next under the tree.

  He clicked on the lights to his tree then turned to face her between the large leather couch and crackling fire. “Well, here we are.”

  She tugged at his shirt. “These layers have to go.” She smiled and stepped back. “Don’t you think?” She shrugged out of her top and tossed it on a nearby chair. Her dark eyes flashed at him, daring him to play along.

  Game on.

  He stared at her pink satin bra and pale skin reflected in the soft glow of the fire as he doffed his flannel button-down.

  She shimmied out of her bibbed snow pants, wobbling as one foot tangled in the elastic cuff liner.

  “Whoa.” He reached out and caught her before she face-planted on the hardwood floor.

  “You’re always catching me.” She giggled. “I can’t blame your Winter Wonder this time.”

  “Oh, so you did have another after our talk. I thought so. Did you like it?” He stepped out of his flannel-lined jeans and added them to the pile.

  “Sweet yet packed a punch.” She stared at his lower half a long moment before slipping out of her baby blue yoga pants, which left her standing in a wisp of pink satin triangle. It matched her bra. Not that he cared. He was far more interested in the secret parts of her they covered.

  He stepped toward her, his gaze sweeping her from head to toe. He was eager to begin his exploration.

  “Wait.” She put a small hand on his chest. She plucked at his long sleeved tee shirt. “It’s your turn.”

  His gaze swept her from head to toe. Impatient, he removed the offending garment that separated them.

  She smiled at his chest and neon green boxer briefs. She whispered, “Now we’re ready.”

  “Come here.” His voice sounded gruff to his ears.

  She stepped into his arms.

  They body hugged for a long moment, skin touching skin, a gradual getting to know each other. He cupped her ass. She stepped up on her tip toes, muscles flexing under his hands. It felt good.

  “Ben?”

  “Hmm?” He sank to the couch with her, the butter-soft leather rough compared to the silkiness of her skin. He nuzzled his face into her neck, inhaling her scent. She was all the intoxicant he desired. “I’m here.” I’ve always been right here. He kissed the woman he’d lit a candle for every day the past nine days. Finally, nothing was going to interrupt them. He felt complete and they had yet to consummate the relationship.

  “Ben?” she whispered.

  He pulled back and looked into her eyes. “Everything all right?”

  “I should have thought of this before, you know, when we were talking about how long it had been.” She bit her lip. “I’m not using any protection. Do you have some?”

  He signaled for her to give him a moment, jogged into the bathroom off the kitchen and returned with it in hand.

  “A whole box?” She gave a nervous laugh.

  He sank back onto the couch next to her and growled against her neck. “Anything’s possible with you.” He caressed her collarbone. “Who knows? Maybe it will be a Christmas miracle.” He moved his attention to her soft, pert breasts. Joking aside, he couldn’t get enough of her. He needed to be closer, be inside her, part of her. But he wanted this to be a night she never forgot. He moved back. “Why don’t you lie back against the pillows?”

  She complied, her legs on either side of his body.

  He gently slid his hands up her long limb, leaning forward and moving down toward that triangle of satin...to her most private, sweet most heady scented place. He moved aside the fabric.

  At first she lay quietly but as he licked and kissed and suckled her heat, her hands found his head, urging him closer, arching against him, her soft moans interspersed with the crackling of the fire glowing on her pale, perfect skin. He lifted his head for a moment to catch his breath and the rapture on her face, her beauty etched into his memory. She was perfect, all woman. She was his for the night.

  “Please don’t stop.”

  Her words tugged at his heart, even though he knew this was no more than a physical release for her. “No, baby, going to just slide down a bit more. There you are. So beautiful. I knew you would be.” He reached up and caressed her breasts. Unable to get enough of her he moved his hands to her entrance—she was so hot and tight. He inserted a finger, then two, and soon she was squirming again, arching against his hands, her body begging for completion.

  “Yes, oh, yes.” He was harder than he ever thought possible, straining against the fabric of his underwear, yearning to make contact with her liquid heat. He had held himself back, but now that she was ready, more than ready, he let go. He bent his head one more time and, along with his fingers, brought her to the peak and beyond. She shuddered against him, crying out, and then pulled him up and over her. “I want you. Inside. Please.”

  The need in her voice was palpable. This was all he’d ever dreamed of, having Jade in his bed, begging him to take her, to make her his, but somehow it meant more to him. This wasn’t a personal triumph as he’d expected. It was a shared victory. They had found each other. He kissed her eyelids, her cheeks, her hairline, her lips—his heart swelling with something indefinable. He’d never felt this way with Sofia, or any woman before that. Having sex with Jade was a completely different experience.

  “I’m right here.” He leaned back, grabbed the box of condoms. A few moments later, he leaned back over her, nudging against her wetness. Gazing into her eyes, seeing his passion reflected in hers, gave him the signal she was ready for him to drive them both home.

  So he did.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Jade admired Frederic Van Salzberg’s newly decorated Christmas tree. Her month in Starling was turning out to be far more than she could ever have imagined—between the fulfilling volunteer jobs,
getting reacquainted with family and...Ben. A thrill raced through her at the memory of their intimacy two nights ago. She turned to the old man sitting on the couch whom she now viewed as a kindly uncle. “I promised this would bring you joy.”

  Frederic shook his head and patted the seat cushion beside him.

  Her heart sank. “You don’t like it? I can change the lights; use the large colored bulbs instead of the twinkling white.”

  “No, no, it’s not that. The tree is fine. Thank you.”

  She moved across the room and sat next to him. “Then why are you so sad?” Had he received bad news after last week’s doctor appointment she had driven him to? Her stomach clenched. “Tell me your blood tests didn’t show—” She couldn’t get the words past dry lips.

  He shook his head again. “Tip top shape.” He reached out a wrinkled hand. “This isn’t about me, my dear girl. I’m fine, or at least as fine as an old coot like me can be.”

  “Then, what’s—” She stopped. She had never asked the question, the elephant in the room between them. Why was Frederic alone? Was he finally comfortable enough to tell her? Jade folded her hands and waited. His next words would be important. She felt it deep in her bones.

  “My dear girl, you’ve given me so much the past weeks. I’ve been thinking for the past number of days how to repay you for your kindness.”

  “I don’t want anything,” she said in earnest.

  He smiled and nodded. “Thought that’s what you’d say. But this gift is one I hope you’ll accept. It’s the gift of hindsight, Jade.”

  “The ability to see your past clearly?”

  “My dear, I have no wife, no children, no close friends. Fifty years ago, I was a go-getter, focused on the prize instead of the journey, always thinking what I had wasn’t good enough, and I should wait for something better. It never came. It doesn’t. The journey is the prize. The best is what you make yourself, not what you wait for.”

  Jade’s thoughts about searching for the perfect job and perfect mate popped into her head. He’d seen so much, this elderly man.

  “Success comes in many forms,” he said. “I missed my chance.” He set his jaw and pinned her with his gaze. “But you don’t have to.”

  Jade stood, wringing her hands and fighting the urge to pace the marble floors. “What are you saying? I’m in transition right now.”

  She pushed away the memory of snuggling in bed in those wee morning hours with Ben. Satisfied. Complete. Nothing that incredible could last.

  Frederic was talking to her. “Just don’t make the same mistake I did, always waiting and not recognizing that what I wanted had been in front of me the whole time. That’s my gift, Jade. It’s odd. It has no wrapping paper or card. But I hope you like it.”

  “I do. Thank you.” She leaned over and gave him a hug. He accepted it but didn’t return it.

  Baby steps. For both of them.

  Ben parked his SUV in the street next to his parents’ house and glanced at the Engels’ driveway. The Subaru was absent. He swallowed his disappointment and opened the driver side door. His night with Jade had been unlike any other in his twenty-eight years. It was more than three intense rounds of sex followed by a late-night feast of pot roast and veggies naked in his kitchen. He smiled to himself and walked around the vehicle to open the passenger door.

  Sadie jumped out.

  His night with Jade was more than a shared shower and falling asleep with her in his arms, more than waking next to her and wanting to do it all over again, satisfied to cuddle next to her in bed afterwards and watch a movie.

  He glanced down at Sadie loping beside him, and told her, “I’ll do casual...for now.” They had until the end of the year.

  After visiting with his parents and receiving a reminder from his mother to call when he reached Lake George tomorrow, he and Sadie began the short trek back to the SUV.

  The silver Subaru turned into the driveway next door.

  He grinned. Perfect timing. “Good afternoon.” He waved to the three females exiting the vehicle then jumped the split rail fence before jogging through packed snow to the driveway. “Let me help.” He took the groceries from Mrs. Engel and peered over the two bags at her mother-in-law and daughter.

  Mrs. Engel closed the car trunk and gave him a brief nod. “Hello there, Sadie.” She patted the happy dog and headed toward the house.

  He turned to greet the other two women.

  His heart squeezed when he got a good look at Jade. Was it possible for a woman to grow more beautiful by the day? She gnawed her bottom lip with her pearl white teeth when he kissed her on the cheek.

  He dropped his gaze to the tiny woman next to her. “You’re looking well, Bertie.”

  The older woman’s sharp eyes sparkled. She eyed him up and down before her gaze lingered on his shoulders. “Do I get a kiss, too, beefcake?”

  “Behave yourself.” Jade scolded her grandmother with a smile. “That’s sexist, treating our neighbor like a juicy piece of meat.” She hooked her arm through Bertie’s and winked at him behind the woman’s back.

  He smiled. “I don’t mind.” He leaned down and kissed the older woman’s powdered cheek.

  Inside the Engel house, he watched Jade settle her grandmother into her favorite knitting chair then accompanied her into the kitchen where her mother had replaced her outerwear with an apron. There were an array of ingredients next to a mixing bowl and measuring cups as Mrs. Engel rifled through an old recipe box, ignoring his presence. “Could you find the flour in one of the bags for me?” she requested of her daughter.

  Eyeing the sugar and cinnamon, Ben’s mouth watered. “Kaastengel?”

  “I prefer the holiday Dutch straws made with chocolate, but Mom promised to make those with the leftover dough later this week.” She handed her mother the flour. “Want shortening too?”

  Mrs. Engel nodded. “These seem more like Christmas to me, but I can appreciate the girls’ requests.”

  Jade slapped her forehead. “That reminds me, I have to call Cass, apparently there’s more drama involving Bree.” She turned to Ben. “Sorry. You remember my friends from downstate, the ones I’ve known forever.”

  He accepted a star-shaped sugar cookie from Jade. “Sure. There’s another, too, right?”

  “Two actually, Kara and Elena.” Jade turned to her mother. “I’ll help make a double batch of the Dutch chocolate straws later this week, okay? I want them to be super-fresh for our trip downstate—whenever that will be. This December’s turning out to be a crazy month for all of us.”

  Mrs. Engel laughed. “From what I saw at Thanksgiving, Elena could probably use a batch all for herself.”

  “She’s a shameless chocoholic, but who can blame her for eating all those chocolate chip cookies? Your baking is stellar, Mom.”

  Jade’s mother hugged her. “Thanks, sweetie.” She turned to Ben and her smile faded. “Jeremy told me you two are working together.” Her eyes flashed a warning.

  He held her gaze. Gigi had a right to protect her children, but there had to come a time when she accepted her son’s responsibility for his alcoholism and allow Jade to cut the purse strings. If he was going to remain in her children’s lives, they needed to mend their fences sooner rather than later. He told her firmly, “He’s a hard worker and a talented writer. We’re lucky to have him.”

  “He said you two are going to Lake George this week,” Mrs. Engel volleyed back.

  Jade’s head snapped up.

  He glanced at her. “That’s correct.”

  Jade lifted her chin and addressed her mother. “I hear The Sagamore serves the best lobster roll.”

  He stifled a grin. She was beginning to show that backbone with her mother that she displayed to him. How about that? “We’re booked at The Sagamore. You could join us, get some of your Christmas shopping done in town. You free tomorrow and Wednesday?”

  Gigi’s eyes went wide and she shook her head in her daughter’s directions. “Oh, I don’t know ab
out that.” She turned to him. “I really need her here, you know, with her grandmother and all.”

  “I haven’t seen Jeremy yet,” Jade shot back, “and this would be the perfect opportunity. We could catch up on the car ride.”

  Mrs. Engel stopped stirring her dough. “What about pageant practice on Wednesday?”

  Ben bit the sugar cookie in half, waiting for Jade’s counterattack.

  She sighed and dropped her shoulders. “You’re right, Mom. I completely forgot.”

  He piped in. “How about this? We’ll go down tomorrow, you have the day to yourself and we meet for dinner, then we can drive you back Wednesday for your pageant practice.”

  Jade’s eyes lit. “I suppose...” She tapped her chin and appeared to consider her options. “Okay, I’ll go.”

  He resisted the urge to lift and twirl her around, settling instead on clapping once to get Sadie’s attention. “Walk us to the door and I’ll give you the details.” He turned to Mrs. Engel, her face beet red, stirring her dough with a vengeance. Part of him felt guilty for upsetting her but being with Jade was more important to him than Gigi’s opinion of him at this particular juncture. “Thanks for the sugar cookie.” He smiled at the two women as he popped the other half into his mouth.

  Jade grabbed his shirt sleeve and pulled him out of the kitchen through the living room to the foyer. She waited until Sadie ran into the front yard and the door was closed behind them before speaking. “You enjoyed that.”

  He ran his hands up and down her arms. “Because it was overdue.”

  She played with his hair. “I can’t believe you invited me on an overnight trip, in front of my mother, and lived to tell the tale.” She snickered. “She must be getting soft on you.”

  “Yeah, right.” He pulled her to him for a quick, scorching kiss. When he came up for air, he hugged her. “I’m proud of you.”

  The hum of a car around the corner had him stepping back out of her personal space. Damn. He wanted to kiss her again, make her remember how good it was between them. He locked eyes with her.

  She backed against the door, her eyes dark and filled with want.