Actually Love - Jessie & Zach (The Crossroads Series)

by Melanie Shawn

  So he must be joking. But what guy would joke around about marrying someone? Especially, during a breakup.

  Searching his face for clues her only answer was he looked serious. Really serious.

  He couldn’t be serious. Right?!

  * * *

  Zach saw the expression on Jessie’s face. It was a cross between horror, shock and disbelief. Not exactly what he’d imagined a girl to look like when told her he wanted to marry her.

  He shook his head, trying to clear it. He didn’t know how to explain what he was thinking without scaring her off. But since he’d just led with a marriage proposal, he figured, Screw it. What do I have to lose?

  “I know that’s the last thing you want to hear. I know that you don’t believe in love. I know that you wanted to keep this casual. But it’s not casual. Not for me, anyway.

  “I think I might have started falling in love with you before I even knew your name. The first time you looked at me, down in that basement, I was gone. You had me. And ever since that moment I’ve been trying, unsuccessfully, to fight it. Deny it. Ignore it.

  “But tonight when I dropped my mom off and I told her I loved her like I do every time I leave her, because I don’t know if that’s going to be the last time I’ll see her, it hit me that I’ve never told you how I feel. And the next thing I knew, I was driving straight back here to tell you because no one is promised tomorrow and I just… I just have to tell you.”

  The thought of something happening to one of them and her not knowing what she meant to him was too much to bear. Zach took a deep steadying breath. There was a really good chance that his heart was about to get plowed by a steamroller and he’d only have himself to blame. But, he could live with that. What he couldn’t live with was living even one more minute without telling the beautiful brown-eyed girl sitting beside him, his uptown girl, how he felt about her.

  “I love you, Jessie Sloan. I would marry you tomorrow if you would have me. I know that, until the last breath I take, I will love you with every single ounce of my being. Nothing will ever change that. You have me, even if you don’t want me. But I can’t be just roommates with benefits, I can’t be just your fake boyfriend. I want to be with you, really be with you, and if that’s not what you wan—”

  “That’s what I want,” Jessie spoke quickly then took a deep breath. Her brown eyes were filled with tears, but her face was lit up with a huge smile as she nodded. “That’s what I want. I love you, Zach. I know I said I didn’t believe in love, but I was wrong. I love you.”

  She sniffed as tears fell down her cheeks. “I love you so much, I didn’t even know how I was going to sleep without you tonight. I love you so much, that not a minute goes by that I don’t think about you. I love you so much, that when I thought this was over, I felt like the room was closing in on me. I love you so much, I will admit I was wrong. Love is real. What we have is real. No more roommates with benefits. No more fake boyfriend. I want to be with you. Really be with you.”

  Now it was Zach’s turn to stare in shock and disbelief. It took him a few moments for her words finally sink in. When they did, relief spread through him like a wildfire.

  Reaching out he pulled Jessie onto his lap and buried his face in the crook of her neck. She wound her arms around his neck as he hugged her tightly against him. Closing his eyes, he breathed in her coconut shampoo as she snuggled closer to him. He loved the way she melted against him whenever she was in his arms.

  “But I do want to keep the benefits portion of our former arrangement,” she said as she wiggled her hips and pressed her lips to Zach’s neck.

  Jessie sent him from zero to rock hard in .00002 seconds. She had from the moment he’d laid eyes on her. And he knew she always would.

  His hands traveled down her back and he slid his fingers beneath her plaid pajama bottoms, spreading them out, he cupped her soft flesh, squeezing her rounded cheeks.

  “The benefits definitely stay,” he agreed whole-heartedly as he stood, picking her up in his arms. Turning back around, he lay her down on top of the comforter.

  A girl after his own heart, Jessie made quick work of removing her pajama bottoms and top. He did the same with his sweats and sweatshirt. Before his sweatshirt even cleared his head, he felt her delicate hands wrap around his aroused flesh.

  Tossing his sweatshirt to the side, he looked down and saw her kneeling in front of him as she ran her hands up and down his shaft. Her long blond hair fell down her back, her plump breasts jiggling as she stroked him. How she’d scrambled off the bed that fast he had no idea, but he certainly wasn’t complaining.

  Before Jessie, Zach had never been a huge fan of hand jobs or blowjobs. He always preferred good old-fashioned sex. He always enjoyed giving oral sex, but receiving it felt too passive for Zach’s liking.

  That all changed the first time Jessie had taken him in her mouth. The way Jessie touched him, the way she sucked deep in her hot, wet mouth… It felt like she wasn’t just going down on him, she was making love to him. It had quickly become one of his favorite things in the world.

  As she leaned forward, his body tensed with anticipation. Her lips softly touched the swollen head of his sex in a sensual kiss. Then squeezing the base of his shaft, she wrapped her full lips around his engorged tip as her slender hands worked up and down the hard column of his shaft.

  A deep moan vibrated in his chest as she took him deeper into the moist suction of her mouth. With each glide of her mouth, she sucked him harder with increased pressure. The suctioning swirl of her talented tongue combined with the tight seal of her lips and the tight grip of her slender fingers caused him to explode with fiery sensation.

  Fisting his hands at his sides, he locked his knees to try to stay standing as her unrelenting mouth enveloped him in tight, slick heat. Watching her pleasure him like this was almost too much for him to bear.

  He knew he could prolong the experience if he looked away or closed his eyes. But he couldn’t force himself to do either of those things. His eyes were locked on her as she took him soaring to higher levels of sensation with each suctioning pull of her lips around his pulsating erection.

  When he felt his body begin to throb deeper with pleasure, he knew he needed to stop this. Now.

  “I want to be inside you when I come,” he stated firmly.

  Her eyes looked up at him as she sucked his member into her mouth slowly then pulled her lips up and off his dick with a loud pop. “I think that can be arranged. Lie down,” she instructed sassily as she motioned her head towards the bed.

  He didn’t move, other than his eyebrows, which he raised. Both he and Jessie liked to call the shots in the bedroom. So far, it had been fun seeing who came out the victor in each standoff. Which, really, they were both winners in. When two people had the kind of explosively hot, combustible sex that he and Jessie did…there were no losers.

  Zach figured, since she’d made him happier than he’d ever imagined he could be when she’d told him she loved him tonight, he’d give her this one. Laying down on the bed he propped up some pillows and relaxed, as much as he could with a throbbing erection jutting up aggressively in the air. Placing his hands behind his head with a casual air, he stared into her deep brown eyes in challenge.

  The reason that they both liked being in charge in bed was partly because they were both control freaks. But the other part was because they were both masterfully gifted in between the sheets and very confident in their own ability to not simply pleasure their partner, but themselves also. So in times like these, whoever was not running the show basically threw down the challenge of ‘show me whatcha got.’

  A small smile tilted Jessie’s mouth as she moved up the bed like a jungle cat on the prowl. Lifting one long, toned leg over his hip, she sank down onto his thighs straddling him, her moist center resting against his rock-hard shaft.

  Mmm. He liked where this was going so far.

  Biting down on her bottom lip in the way that drove him crazy with l
ust, she grazed her fingernails up and down his torso, fanning out her fingers when she reached his chest. Slowly, methodically, she began circling her fingertips around his nipples, tracing their outline, causing them to harden as she did. Her eyes flaring with desire as her hands roamed over him.

  He took the opportunity, of her seated atop him and exploring his body, to do a little visual exploration of his own. His eyes drank in her rounded breasts, the curve of her small waist, and the flare of her hips as she sensually ground her core against his throbbing length.

  Jessie’s body moved above him in a sensual grace that was innately sexy and caused Zach’s primal instinct to go into sensory overdrive. Everywhere she touched, she left a trail of tingling sensations on his heated skin. His swollen member, which was now slick with Jessie’s arousal, throbbed with urgency.

  Not being able to stand lying back passively any longer, Zach removed his hands from beneath his head and placed them possessively on the soft, smooth skin of Jessie’s thighs. Moving up and down, her supple legs caused his heart to pick up even more speed, his chest rising and falling faster as his breathing grew more and more labored.

  “I love you,” Zach growled softly.

  The sides of Jessie’s lips, plump from her taking him in her mouth, turned up in a grin. Lifting her hips up, she reached between her legs, gripped his engorged flesh, and slowly guided him into her primed body as she sank down on top and softly spoke, “I love you, too.”

  Zach flinched with need as Jessie’s inner muscles fluttered around his manhood. After their office-sex night, Jessie had told him that she’d been on birth control for six years, and since he knew he was clean, which he did because fighters always had to give blood and urine before a fight, they could stop using latex protection.

  So now, with Jessie, he did not have to wear a condom. He could feel everything as Jessie moved above him, setting the pace. Grinding slowly at first, her hands were braced on his chest. Looking down at him with heavy lidded eyes, she rolled her hips as needy whimpers and soft moans fell from her mouth, filling the room.

  Zach loved the noises that she made when he was deep inside of her. They were organic, authentic and sexy as hell. He felt her groans and sighs vibrate through his entire being like the bass from subwoofer speakers.

  Soft blonde locks of hair fell around Jessie’s sun-kissed shoulders as she picked up the pace. Zach’s gaze dropped to where their bodies were joined. He watched captivated as his engorged, rigid manhood, glistening from her juices, appeared and then disappeared inside of the hot, tight passage again and again as she accepted all of him.

  Up and down she rode him like a prize bull in the rodeo. Needing to do more, touch more, Zach’s hands roamed over every inch of Jessie’s body that he could reach. He could not get enough of her smooth, soft skin. His heart pounded harder as his hands grazed up the sides of Jessie’s waist before cupping her perfect breasts.

  When he began sensually kneading her rounded mounds, Jessie sat up straighter giving him full access to her body. She moved her hands to his forearms, clinging to him as she continued moving her body sensually, passionately. Moonlight spilled in from the sheer curtains, illuminating the room in an ethereal glow.

  As Zach felt the first signs of Jessie’s body reaching its peak, she covered his hands with hers. Threading her slim fingers through his large digits, she moved with him as they erotically massaged her breasts together. The sight of her small, delicate hands intertwined with his large, work-roughened hands made his entire body swell to capacity with desire, including his hard, throbbing flesh that was buried inside Jessie’s body.

  Jessie’s rhythm picked up speed, and he felt her wet heat spasming around his manhood. He knew she was close and she could bring herself there. That fact in and of itself was a potent aphrodisiac. As she rocked her hips into his, he felt her inner thighs tremble.

  Zach squeezed her nipples as he rolled them between his thumb and forefinger, the way he knew would drive her crazy. She arched her back, shoving her breasts harder into his hands as she cried out in ecstasy. Her entire body contracted in pleasure.

  While watching Jessie in the throes of her intense release, as he rolled and tweaked her tight buds, he felt his own climax building. A jarring, pulsing orgasm hit him hard as he moved his hands, grasped her hips and thrusting up into her once more. He rode out wave after wave of ecstasy as it crashed through him until the last wave had washed back out to sea.

  She collapsed on top of him, dropping her chin on his chest in a sigh of pleasure. “Not that I’m complaining, but don’t you have a plane to catch?”

  As he spoke, he was still feeling the aftershocks of his release. “I postponed it.”

  “Until when?” she asked, lifting her brows, her voice sounding equal parts excited and anxious.

  “Until tomorrow.” His hand brushed back a few hairs that had fallen onto her forehead.

  Her eyes lit up. “So we have all day?”

  “Yep. Merry Christmas.” A wide smile spread across his face.

  “Yay! Merry Christmas,” she exclaimed happily through a yawn before nuzzling her head down on his chest.

  Zach ran his fingers through Jessie’s hair as he felt her breathing even out while she drifted off to sleep on his chest. Looking down at her, he knew that he had the best Christmas present in the world. He had her.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Jessie signed off on six proposals and then checked her spreadsheet to see that she only had two more to go through. She couldn’t believe how much work she was catching up on with the entire office being empty. Since the industry pretty much came to a screeching halt the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day she’d given her entire department the time off.

  She planned to take time off as well, but with Zach not being home, the house felt so empty that she decided, instead of moping around, she’d be productive. Jessie did not miss the irony that she used to come to the office to avoid Zach and now she was coming in to avoid missing Zach. Life was funny sometimes.

  He’d been gone for five days, and to Jessie, it had felt like a lifetime. Their whole relationship felt like it had gone backwards. When they’d been pretending to be a couple, they could have spent every day together but didn’t. The second they really were a couple, Zach had to leave. She knew it was only for a few more days, but not seeing Zach was making Jessie crazy.

  Yesterday, she’d gone into his room and “borrowed” the shirt she’d worn the first night in the house so she could sleep in it. Which was a whole other issue—she was having the worst sleep without having Zach by her side. In just a short amount of time, she’d grown attached to lying in his arms, smelling his smell, feeling his touch. Every night, she tossed and turned without those things.

  Since she’d gotten back from the wedding, she’d been toying with the idea of flying out to Vegas for the fight. She’d made a mental list of pros and cons, which usually helped her in her decision-making process. But just like everything Zach-related, usually did not seem to apply.

  The pro column basically consisted of one thing: seeing Zach. Whereas the con column was racking up entries like they were babies in the Duggar family. Every time she thought for sure that she’d thought of the last one, another would pop up.

  Topping the list was that Zach hadn’t actually invited her. So she couldn’t be sure that he wanted her there. That was kind of a biggie. Showing up where she wasn’t wanted was not a habit of Jessie’s.

  So why was she sitting in her office, hand on her mouse, clicking on the tab she had open for Expedia to search for flights? As her eyes scrolled down, she almost choked when she saw the prices. She knew that they would be significantly higher because it was the holidays and New Year’s Eve in Vegas ran second only to Times Square in popularity, but this was highway robbery.

  Still, when she found a flight leaving early tomorrow morning that would get her there just in time for the fight, she surprised herself by clicking ‘book it.’ Her hand wa
s shaking as she entered her credit card information.

  Before she clicked the final purchase button, she stopped. Was she doing the right thing? Would Zach be happy to see her? Did it seem too clingy? Questions swam rapidly through her mind like krill trying to escape a whale.

  Okay, she needed to focus on the facts before she had a meltdown. Zach had told her that he loved her. That he would marry her tomorrow if she would have him. Men like Zach—not that there were any men like Zach, but men in general—didn’t say things like that unless they meant them. Right? It wasn’t like he needed to say those things to get her into bed. They’d had a no-strings arrangement that gave him full access to her bed.

  Okay, another fact: Zach had never given her any reason to believe that he’d be anything but happy to see her. She had to stop letting her mind go to the worst-possible outcomes of things and just trust in what she and Zach had.

  They were together. They loved each other. No other shoe was going to drop. Her right finger pressed down on the mouse and a purchase confirmation popped up on her screen.

  A loud knock sounded on the door and Jessie figured the cleaning crew was here. They’d been in on Monday as well. Apparently, even when the offices were empty, they didn’t get to take the time off.

  “Come in,” she called out.

  The door opened, and Maxi rushed in, looking pale as a ghost. She was dressed in yoga pants, a long-sleeved thermal, and Ugg boots. Not exactly how she normally dressed for the office.

  Wait. Zach. Something had happened to Zach.

  “What’s wrong?” Jessie stood from her desk. Her entire body went numb, yet she could still feel her legs shaking beneath her.

  Maxi stopped in front of Jessie’s desk. She looked too nervous to speak, and Jessie noticed that her hands were trembling. “I was contacted by several sources from news outlets about a story that’s going to run, and I have a plan, but I wanted to run it by you first.”

  Okay. Maybe it wasn’t as dire as Jessie had thought. She’d never seen Maxi deal with a client emergency. Jessie had seen this before. Sometimes people cracked under the pressure.