The Zombie Rule Book: A Zombie Apocalypse Survival Guide
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Play a game
Try to have time when you play games, charades, give us a clue or I-spy a zombie is a great way to pass the time.
Rule # 66
Read
Read anything you can, learning from books is a great way to pass the time, you never know what skills you might pick up that could come in handy.
Rule # 67
Get Yourself a Map
Get yourself a map of your area and surrounding areas, cities, etc. The bigger the better as you won’t know until the apocalypse happens just where you will need to be headed. An A-Z is great. This item will increase your chances of survival greatly, so don’t forget to equip yourself with this now.
Rule # 68
Quarantine any survivors who may be infected
It is important to quarantine any fellow survivors who may be a risk to you, even if they have been bitten and you have managed to quickly remove the limb (which hopefully would prevent the virus spreading) it is important to keep them in quarantine for at least twenty-four hours, preferably forty-eight hours.
Rule # 69
Grenades
If you are lucky enough to be able to get your hands on grenades don’t waste them. They will be hard to come by, so if you do have grenades only use them in a life or death situation. Be aware that grenades would not necessarily kill zombies as you have to destroy the brain directly.
Rule # 70
Smelling salts
Try to make smelling salts part of your apocalypse preparations. You will need them for yourself and possibly other people. There will be plenty of blood and gore come the end of the world, also low blood sugar from dietary deficiencies may cause fainting.
Rule # 71
Chew gum
Only chew sugar-free chewing gum. This will help with your dental hygiene, and you do see commanding officers chewing gum so there’s got to be something in it.
Rule # 72
Never get emotionally attached
To a zombie or a fellow new survivor. Your emotions may be your downfall and may make you let your guard down and think differently, putting yourself and others in danger.
Rule # 73
Cereal bars
Cereal bars are an awesome form of nourishment. When you run out steal as many of these as you can, they will keep you going strong for hours.
Rule # 74
Learn languages
Get others to teach you new languages. Learning a new language from a member of your team will be a great asset to you, especially when encountering other survivors.
Rule # 75
Goggles or protective eyewear
Goggles are a great idea. Think like a mad scientist or a steam-punk enthusiast. If you can get your hands on them, they will prevent blood splatter going into your eyes.
Rule # 76
Get a gun
It will be your best and most valid weapon. It will save your life and the lives of others around you. It will allow you to kill those pesky zombies without getting too close. Try to acquire a gun but don’t put your life at risk to get it.
Rule # 77
Play dead
Playing dead can really work in your favour; this can work out great in a zombie or survivor raid. Use playing dead to your advantage.
Rule # 78
Acquire a Bicycle
The mountain bike is a great tool for traveling over all different types of terrain, especially when trying to avoid towns.
Rule # 79
Be a silent assassin
Try to acquire a silencer for your gun, this may save your life as any noise you make will most definitely attract zombies and survivors to you, the quieter you are the less chance you have of being eaten alive or killed by other survivors.
Rule # 80
Keep a diary
Keep a diary account (if you can), this will help other survivors know of your findings and may just keep you sane.
Rule # 81
Don’t run into danger
When you are running you can get yourself into dangerous situations, quickly turning a corner could reveal there are hundreds of zombies in every direction.
Rule # 82
Don’t touch zombies
They’re full of disease and germs. Where possible avoid physical contact with them at all costs.
Rule # 83
Boil water before drinking it
If you haven’t got any water purification tablets be sure to boil water before drinking it. You can then drink it warm or leave it to get cold before drinking.
Rule # 84
Don’t get bitten
Do not let yourself be bitten by a zombie. If you do it is game over or at least a limb missing if you are very lucky.
Rule # 85
Be a leader
If the situation arises, elect yourself as a leader. Don’t be a follower. Be a leader, show your skills and knowledge and self-worth to the group. Don’t follow someone else into death.
Rule # 86
Don’t play with Zombies
Ok, it may be tempting to have fun with them, race them, use their heads as bowling balls, etc. but it will only end in tears. Don’t take chances, just don’t do it.
Rule # 87
You can’t hang a zombie
Remember this, don’t even waste your time trying, they will not die from hanging so don’t break your back trying to find this out.
Rule # 88
Decapitate and then destroy the brain
This may be easier said than done but decapitating a zombie then destroying the brain is ideal.
Rule # 89
There may never be a cure
Don’t kid yourself, be prepared. There will probably never be a cure for this and the chances of you getting a cure are slim to none.
Rule # 90
Share your skills and learn
Share the skills you have with others and vice versa. Learn from each other. If one of you can tie great knots and one is a great huntsman, teach each other your skills. Be sure to learn and share, this may just save your life.
Rule # 91
Try not to think about takeaways and fast food
Try not to think of buckets of chicken or your favourite Chinese take out. A good way of doing this is to think of zombie’s guts whist pretending to eat it. Do this a few times and every time you think of take-away it will repulse you.
Rule # 92
Teeth
No, not zombie teeth but yours, keep them clean where you can along the way. Brush your teeth, there will be no dentists and it is important to look after your teeth.
Rule # 93
Shit hits the fan
When the shit hits the fan have an escape plan and route and be sure to have your bug-out bag at the ready. Don’t trust the government or the army, this may sound strange but they may lead you to your death or force an untested vaccine on you.
Rule # 94
Expect cell/mobile phones not to work
Plan meeting places with friends and family in advance, a designated meeting place that is away from the city. Cell phones will be down. Know this now and plan ahead.
Rule # 95
Make an escape plan
Plan to evacuate the city at the first sign of any danger. Practice and practice again. Plan your route in daylight and at night. Try to go undetected by anyone looking for places of cover along the way.
Rule # 96
Weight train
Make your own weights using tinned goods or other items from around your home. It’s important to keep strong. You will need every ounce of strength you can muster to see this one out.
Rule # 97
Learn how to hunt
Know how to hunt and be prepared to hunt. You can do it, be quiet, be fearless and be ready.
Rule # 98
Head away from towns and big cities
There is always a big risk that towns and big cities may get destroyed by the government first. Also, there will be many survivors looting and k
illing and hordes of the infected.
Rule # 99
Acquire a Bandana
Always have a bandana on you. This will come in handy for putting over your nose and mouth for covering up bad smells/disguising yourself and even to tie hair, sweatband, ideal for blocking the sun from your neck, a sling, washcloth, tourniquet, cleaning toll and dust mask.
Rule # 100
Celebrate
Continue to celebrate your birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Go for it! Why should those evil zombies ruin your day?
Rule # 101
Sleep in trees
You can sleep in trees and/or hide in them. Use trees to your advantage. If you find that you need to sleep in a tree, tie yourself with rope, securing yourself. Otherwise it could go very wrong indeed.
Rule # 102
Round up zombies like cattle
Maybe you are trying to free an area from zombies. Think like a cowboy rounding up cattle, a bigger target is an easier one. Be careful only do this in large groups and if you have to. I suggest having some good fire power with you if you do.
Rule # 103
Keep a calendar
You should always use calendars. Note down the date, it may help you prepare for the elements if you know when the next season is coming.
Rule # 104
Get some Running shoes
Acquire a decent pair of running shoes/trainers. You won’t outrun a zombie or a bloodthirsty survivor with a pair of high heels or cowboy boots. Trainers and running shoes are also great for stealth so enemies won’t hear you coming.
Rule # 105
Samurai sword
Admittedly if you don’t own one of these it might be difficult to acquire, however, these are used for decorative purposes and if you happen to have one, use it to your advantage. These are great when used in close contact. Who will mess with you with one of these to hand?
Rule # 106
Know your enemy
It’s good to know your zombies and know exactly what you’re up against. Watch them from a safe distance and work out exactly how they move, what alerts them, how fast they are, etc., or if they have any weaknesses you can use in your favour.
Rule # 107
Protect your glasses
If you need glasses to see then they are vital to your survival. Wear protective goggles over them to prevent them from breaking. Remember the opticians won’t be open for business so look after your specs.
Rule # 108
Blend in
Whatever situation may arise, try to ensure you blend in as much as possible. When meeting new survivors don’t be too opinionated and cause any friction until you are well-adjusted into the group.
Rule # 109
Acquire a crowbar
Get a crowbar, it’s the perfect defense weapon against zombies.
Rule # 110
Acquire a machete
Get a machete, they are great for close contact and all round zombie killing.
Rule # 111
Don’t wear high heels
It’s obvious really isn’t it?
Rule # 112
Pad your self as much as possible
Foam or polystyrene, either of these can be used to pad your body underneath clothing, making it harder for zombies to get to your flesh, as this will act as a barrier. Most duvets are made of this kind of material which can be broken down, cut to size and wrapped around the body before putting on clothing.
Rule # 113
Always keep your distance from the undead
This may sound obvious but distance is key. Build your base away from zombies, store food and supplies out of sight and with enough distance from the undead. Think of distance when building parameters.
Rule # 114
Get a utility belt
Get yourself a utility belt, if you don’t own one you can improvise with rubber bands, rope and cord.
Rule # 115
Build a tree house
If you find that you have the time or time is on your side build a tree house as a temporary base. Use a rope ladder and don’t forget to pull it up after you. Use bushes and leaves to camouflage it well from other survivors and the infected.
Rule # 116
Practice head shots
Whatever else you do, practice your head shots. Use a watermelon or similar item to practice your headshots as much as possible.
Rule # 117
Quit Smoking
Try to cut down smoking, not only will you need to, but you should try to quit altogether to get you at your peak fitness.
Rule # 118
Acquire rubber gloves
Get yourself a pair of rubber gloves, the stronger the better. They are fantastic for keeping your hands sanitised because you will be touching some weird shit, trust me.
Rule # 119
Make a shield
Try to make a shield. There are lots of things you can use for this but use your initiative and use what’s around you. The police have shields for a good reason, it will help protect you from attacks. An obvious one is to use the lid of a metal dustbin, and you’ll be Captain Survivor!
Rule # 120
Hide a knife in your socks/boots
Try to keep a concealed knife on you, that way if you are captured by other survivors you will be able to get free and protect yourself from them. Make sure the knife has a cover so you don’t injure yourself.
Rule # 121
Set up a rationing system for food and drink
It is important to set up a rationing system, always check what you have left in supply and what you are eating.
Rule # 122
Acquire some combat boots
Try to obtain a pair of combat boots, ensuring that the laces are always tied and tucked away to prevent tripping. Combat boots are one of the best pieces of kit and if they are steel-capped even better.
Rule # 123
Go to the toilet in pairs
Yes, women all over the globe had it right all along. Going to the toilet in pairs could save your life, one person should always be on guard.
Rule # 124
Stay off drugs
Don’t take any drugs, they may impair your reaction time. I don’t mean an inhaler or some aspirin but recreational drugs. Mind-altering drugs are a definite no no. Not only are they unsafe but you may see things that aren’t really there; you might shoot your buddy thinking he’s a zombie.
Rule # 125
Acquire a Leather jacket
Get yourself a leather jacket. Leather is very strong and durable, it can fight the elements and may help pad against a bite.
Rule # 126
Two-door car rule
Try to ride shotgun when you are unable to drive. Never go in the back seat of a two-door car. If there is an accident this will leave you vulnerable to attack while unable to exit the vehicle.
Rule # 127
Learn how to hot wire a car
It is important to learn how to hot wire a car, this is a must. You will be able to get out of many situations with your newfound skill.
Rule # 128
Knowledge is power
Read as much as you can, the more you learn, the more skills you will have. Learn from books, friends and other survivors.
Rule # 129
Don’t make silly mistakes
Don’t make silly mistakes, this is a great rule. Think and rethink everything you do.
Rule # 130
Always check that they are dead
This is very important. Always check that the zombies are dead. Check and check again. Do this every time you kill one and it will become second nature.
Rule # 131
Don’t let yourself get depressed
Don’t let the word depression be part of your vocabulary, stay positive and keep fighting.
Rule # 132
Be alert twenty-four seven
Ok, it will be hard and virtually impossible to be alert twenty-four seven. Do it in a team or if you are
on your own try to stay alert as long as possible, even when you are asleep. Always have someone on the lookout twenty-four seven. Take it in turns with shifts, even if you think you are 100% safe you are not.