Secrets That We Keep

by Linda Kage

  A man I couldn’t stop thinking about.

  But that probably only meant my imagination had blown up his appeal in my head way bigger than it really was. No way could he be as spectacular as I was envisioning him to be. I was almost positive I’d be vastly disappointed when I saw him again. I mean, no way could he have the same effect on me that I’d convinced myself he did.

  Reaching the doorway, I peeked around the corner and stopped dead.

  Nope. My daydreams had exaggerated nothing. If anything, my memories had downplayed the skip in my pulse, the catch in my breath, the absolute thrill of vivacity that raced through my veins that just looking at him brought me.

  He was just so full of movement and energy. His bent head bobbed slightly as he listened to some music he was playing in his own head as he tapped the end of his pen against the top of his desk and read some printed report before him. Even his windblown—or maybe it was finger-raked—dark hair swayed and floated to the beat he had going.

  I yearned to get close enough to him to absorb some of that warmth and congenial kinetic life he exuded.

  “Hey.” I tapped on his open door, then kept my fingers balled in an attempt to keep them from shaking. When he looked up, my heart skipped a beat.

  Feeling my face heat uncontrollably, I offered him an apologetic cringe, even as I hesitantly stepped into the office. “Sorry, your assistant wasn’t here.”

  “No worries,” he told me with a welcoming smile. “Magda went home early. Said her arthritis in her knees was bothering her. So come on in. What’s up?”

  “Oh, um.” I lamely lifted the two sheets of paper in my hand. “Jada wanted me to get these to you. It’s a memo she wanted you to proofread, I guess.”

  “Uh...okay.” Seemingly confused by the drop-off, he pushed to his feet anyway and said, “Sure. Thanks.” Rounding his desk to meet me halfway, he reached out and took the pages from my hand as I shuffled forward and stretched them forward.

  “You’re welcome.”

  And here was that moment when I was supposed to turn around and leave his office. Except I didn’t. I just stood there, lingering like a creeper. What was worse, I didn’t say anything, either. I just looked at him, soaking up as much as I could before I had to go.

  Finally, it grew awkward enough that his brow knit with confusion.

  “Was there something else?” he asked, glancing down at the memo as if looking for further instructions.

  My eyes widened. “No!” I rasped quickly, my voice hoarse with utter embarrassment. “That was it. Thanks.” I spun away, filled with mortification. “Have a good day.”

  “Yeah,” he murmured in return, sounding confused. “You too.”

  I burst toward the door but was so eager to get out of there—so I could privately die of embarrassment somewhere else—that I got tunnel vision and didn’t see the chair he had sitting in front of his desk for visitors until I tripped over it and went sprawling forward.

  “Whoa, hey!” Gracen shot out his hand to catch my arm, except I’d already caught myself and was upright again, so he basically wrapped his warm fingers around my bare forearm for no good reason.

  Except to drive my hormones crazy.

  Looking into my eyes with concern, he asked, “You okay?”

  I nodded stupidly for a good two seconds before I was able to fumble out a semblance of words. “Y-yes, fine. Thank you. I—I’m sorry. I’m such a klutz.”

  His beautiful, heart-stopping grin flashed at me again. “Nah,” he said, unfortunately dropping his grip from my arm and taking a respectable step back. “That chair had it out for you. It jumped right into your path. I saw the whole thing.”

  I offered him a miserable smile of thanks. But I felt so stupid because I was acting so stupid. I wasn’t even sure why I was doing this. I just…

  I missed him.

  “Yellow?” He tilted his head to the side, his expression suddenly troubled and full of worry. “You sure everything is okay? Not just with the tripping chair but, you know, just in general.” His gaze filled with horror. “Oh Jesus. Art hasn’t bothered you again, has he?”

  I swallowed and shook my head. “No. Not at all. He avoids me like the plague, actually.”

  Gracen blew out a relieved breath and nodded. “Good. That’s good. What about Jackson, then?”

  “Jackson?” I blurted, not expecting to hear that name.

  Jackson was an employee here who worked on the marketing side of things. He’d flirted with me a few times and even asked me out to dinner once. But I had turned him down.

  Gracen flushed. Which made me blink in confusion because what the heck did he have to blush about? Must be some strange lighting in this office.

  But then he reached up and uneasily rubbed the back of his neck and winced as if he was uncomfortable before he explained, “Yeah. I, uh…” Coughing out a small, embarrassed laugh, he flailed out a hand. “I saw him ask you out the other day.”

  “Oh God.” Embarrassment flooded me. I closed my eyes and shook my head. “Did everyone see that?”

  He offered me a small, chagrined smile. “Probably. He’s not giving you a hard time, though, is he? After you turned him down?”

  I shook my head slowly, my gaze straying to his face as I looked for maybe, possibly a hint of jealousy or possessiveness from his expression. But I found none.

  “No,” I finally murmured, my voice barely audible. “He’s kind of avoiding me like the plague too after that.”

  Gracen’s lips quirked with amusement. “Strange. I haven’t noticed a single plague-like vibe coming from you at all.”

  After huffing out an amused sound, I looked down at my hands. “Are you…” But the question stalled on my tongue. When I looked up, he lifted his eyebrows, letting me know he was patiently awaiting the rest of the question.

  I cleared my throat, not even sure what I wanted to ask. “Had you heard about the new release of the next Venom movie coming out this Friday?”

  “Uh…” He paused for a blank moment before settling with a simple nod for an answer. “Yeah. I heard. I’m pretty excited for this one.”

  I nodded as well, much more slowly than he had. “Me too,” I said in a small voice.

  He squinted, watching me suspiciously.

  Probably trying to figure out if I was just making conversation with him or if I was telling him that I wanted to “accidentally” meet there, like we had the last two movies? And honestly, I wasn’t all that sure what I was trying to accomplish either.

  He glanced down, then back up. “If I may be so bold, why did you turn Jackson down?” he finally asked, the blunt question making my eyes flare.

  Then he seemed to realize how much he’d just revealed by asking it, and he quickly added, “I—I mean, he…” Flailing out a hand, he cleared his throat and grimaced. “He’s not a bad guy. He’d probably make for a decent date.”

  I bobbed my head stupidly before whispering, “I know.” Jackson honestly did seem like a nice guy. “I just…”

  When I gave a forlorn sigh, completely lost for words, Gracen shifted curiously closer. “You just what?”

  Glancing down because I was unable to keep looking into those too-intent blue-gray eyes, I realized I’d never brought my sack lunch with me as I’d intended to do. I had been so excited to see him again that I’d completely forgotten that dropping off the memo with him was supposed to be a secondary thing I did on the way to the breakroom for my lunch.

  I looked up again and huffed out a decided breath, knowing I needed to answer his question. So I could answer one of my own about him. “I, uh... Well, you know, he...”

  Gracen lifted his eyebrows curiously. “He…?”

  “He’s just…” I shook my head before blurting, “He’s not the one I think about before I fall asleep each night.”

  Pausing there, I met his gaze. When his lips parted before he pressed them closed and gulped audibly, I found the courage to continue.

  “He’s not the one I d
ress for each morning when I get ready for work,” I added, watching his eyes flare bigger with hope. “He’s not the one I want to catch a glimpse of across the office. Or who I can’t seem to stop thinking about. He’s just—he’s not you.”

  There.

  I’d said it.

  Oh God, why had I just said it, though?

  This couldn’t end well. Could it?

  Gracen remained frozen for a good ten seconds. Then, air rushed from his lungs in a rush, and he shook his head in denial before whispering, “Oh, fuck…”

  Well, that didn’t sound good.

  Panic filled my chest.

  Abort! my internal alarm blared. Abort! This was definitely headed straight for disaster.

  “I—I…” Spinning away in complete mortification, I lurched for the open door. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I should go. I’m going to—”

  “No!” Gracen dove in front of me, beating me there. He slapped the door shut and sagged against it, blocking my exit as he breathed heavily and gaped at me.

  I froze in front of him, feeling like a cornered hamster in a cage.

  Covering his mouth with both hands, Gracen shook his head and watched me.

  My face drained of all warmth, and my fingers trembled uncontrollably as I gripped my head.

  “I don’t know why I told you that,” I confessed. “I shouldn’t have. I’m so—”

  “Is it true, though?” he cut in adamantly, shifting closer.

  Cringing, I moved back and refused to answer, but he could see the truth in my eyes.

  “I can’t stop thinking about you either,” he finally admitted, his voice so low it was barely audible.

  Eyes flaring with hope, I blinked at him. “Really?”

  With a nod, he stepped cautiously away from the door. He appeared to be shocked by his own actions, even as he dipped his face close, coming in for a kiss, only to stop short and pause, focusing on my eyes as if to make sure he wasn’t messing something up.

  “What the hell am I doing?” he whispered to himself as he continued to gape at me, his mouth only inches from mine. “I can’t kiss you. You’re an employee. Not my employee. But an employee in the building where I’m a higher-up. Putting the moves on you would be—”

  Done listening to his self-doubts, I rose onto my toes and put the moves on him, plastering our mouths together with a fevered urgency.

  Gracen groaned and cupped my face in his hands, eager to receive me. “God, thank you,” he rasped pulling away, only to come back every few words to kiss me again. “I really wanted to do that but didn’t think—mph!”

  I cut him off by gripping his dark, silken hair and sealing us together more permanently.

  From there, there was no gentle introduction. We dove right in with tongue and teeth, crashing our bodies together and taking exactly what we wanted while giving it all back to each other tenfold.

  My fingers smoothed their way from his hair to his neck and then clutched his shoulders as he backed me into the edge of his desk. Before I knew it, he was hiking me up to sit on the flat, clean surface and pressing between my thighs, causing my skirt to bunch unseemly toward my waist.

  Excitement rushed over me, engulfing my senses. I slapped my hands down onto the desk and leaned back as he crowded above me. My chin tipped up, and his lips found their way to my throat while he covered my fingers with his own on the desktop, holding my hand prisoner.

  As he nipped at the tender flesh on my neck, I choked out a sound and arched up my chest, aching for him to—

  He bit my nipple, right through the cloth of my bra and blouse and everything.

  “Oh God,” I gasped, panting through the pleasure while his fingers covering mine tightened, and the palm of his other hand smoothed up the outside of my bare leg, coaxing me to draw my knee up as he went until he was pressing it against his side.

  Once he had my leg lifted where he wanted it, he squeezed my knee briefly, then slipped his fingers back down and across the length of my thigh until he reached the hem of my skirt. All the while, he’d been kissing his way back up, over my breasts and across my collarbone, along my throat until he lifted his face and looked into my eyes, pausing as his hand stalled at the line of my skirt.

  “Yes? No?” he asked, searching my gaze.

  My throat was too dry for me to immediately speak, so I swallowed, licked my lips, and bobbed my head, rasping, “Yes.”

  He hissed out his relief. “Jesus. Thank you.”

  Grinning, he pressed his brow to mine and breached my skirt line. My own teeth sank into my bottom lip as I watched his eyes, relishing the way they darkened with passion as his scorching hot palm coasted up my thigh until he reached my panties. Then he cupped my bottom tight and slid me closer to the edge of the desk just as he arched his hips forward so we could come flush together where I’m sure we both throbbed the most.

  “God damn, holy fuck,” he breathed as his throat worked through a thick swallow. “That feels good.”

  I agreed with a whimper and shifted, trying to grind on the thick, swollen bulge.

  “Yellow,” he started, his hand on my ass urging me harder against him. “I—shit!” He lifted his face suddenly to glance back toward the door. “Is that Bella’s laugh?”

  As he froze over me, I held my breath, ears straining against the blood rushing through them until, yep, I heard his sister's muffled voice just outside his door, talking to someone.

  Both our eyes widened as we zipped guilty gazes to each other.

  “Oh my God,” I finally gasped and jerked away, rolling off the side of the desk to get out from under him, bumping into his arm and nearly causing him to collapse on top of me as I went.

  “Christ,” he mumbled, fumbling to catch his balance as I landed on the floor on all fours in a crouch. I glanced around his office frantically just as a knock came on his office door.

  He hadn’t locked it. I was sure I remembered him not locking it.

  Acting on instinct, I scampered around the desk to hide under it just as the door began to come open without waiting for Gracen to invite her in. The last thing I saw before I ducked out of sight was his wild-eyed expression as he whirled around to face her.

  “Hey,” he wheezed as if he were attempting to sound casual but was actually covering up something crucial. “What’re you doing here?”

  “Oh my God,” Isabella blurted, her footsteps rushing into the room. “Are you okay?”

  “Uh, yeah.” From his tone, I could completely tell what kind of expression he was giving her. And he followed it with one of those of-course-I’m-okay-why-wouldn’t-I-be-okay sniffs of skepticism. “I’m fine. Why?”

  “You’re all flushed and sweaty and breathing heavy.”

  Under the desk, I cringed and closed my eyes, feeling my face heat about ten degrees hotter than normal. She was going to be able to guess what he’d just been doing with no problem.

  I just hoped to God she didn’t look toward his lap. I’d felt his erection pressing against me two-point-five seconds ago; no way had that gone all the way down yet. It would be so awkward if she caught sight of it tenting out his pants.

  “You’re not having a heart attack, are you?”

  “Of course not. Hey! You don’t have to check my brow for a fever. Really.”

  “Then what is—”

  “Burpees,” he blurted.

  His sister paused, and then slowly said, “What?”

  “You know…” His winded voice fumbled a moment before he added, “Those calisthenics things they do in all the military training movies. Yeah. I was doing...those.”

  “Why in God’s name were you doing burpees in your office? While still wearing a suit?”

  “I, uh…”

  Under his desk, I winced for him. The poor guy was a really bad liar, though.

  “Muffins,” he said. “Yeah. My new secretary, Magda—I told you about how Art, Jada, and I rotated assistants, right?’

  “Yeah. That asshole A
rt finally hired someone who didn’t want to sleep with him, so you all had to shift everyone around. I remember. What does that have to do with anything?”

  “Yes, right. Well, Magda—bless her heart—keeps bringing me a basket full of damn muffins every morning,” Gracen tried to explain through all his breathless panting. “And I swear they’re going straight to my hips.”

  I pressed a hand over my mouth to keep from shouting out a laugh. But seriously, if he added another cheesy Gracen joke, like something about having to watch his girlish figure, I was probably going to straight-up lose it and laugh out loud.

  Which would be bad.

  Isabella didn’t seem so entertained, though. “You are so completely hopeless,” she said with a groan. “I swear. Why don’t you try getting a membership to a gym, sweetie?”

  “Yeah,” he mumbled thoughtfully. “Maybe I’ll do that.”

  “My God. No one is ever going to marry you, are they? And then I’m never going to have any little nieces or nephews to spoil and bounce on my knee and teach how to say Auntie Bella.”

  “If you’re itching for babies that bad,” Gracen said dryly. “Why don’t you just have your own?”

  His sister snorted at the suggestion and then brushed it aside with a well-worded, “Too much responsibility,” before she clapped her hands loudly. “Now, if you’re done with your workout, or whatever you were doing, why don’t you take a hungry girl to lunch, huh?”

  “You want me to take you to lunch,” he answered dumbly. “Right now?”

  “Well, it is lunchtime,” Isabella reminded him sweetly. “And I did stop by here solely to invite my weirdo twin brother to join me. So, yeah, that’s pretty much exactly what I’d like.”

  “Oh! Uh…” He stalled a moment before mumbling a reluctant, “Yeah, I guess. I could do that.”

  “Well, you certainly don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Isabella mumbled, clearly hearing the lack of enthusiasm in his answer.

  “No,” he assured her quickly. “No, it’s fine really. Uh, just let me—Let me grab my wallet from my top desk drawer.”

  A second later, he appeared on my side of the desk, where I was hiding. His pant leg stopped before me, and I peeked out just enough to meet his gaze as he opened his drawer.