Blessings of the Heart and Samantha's Gift

by Valerie Hansen

  Which was all the more reason for her to remain single, Rachel reasoned. Clearly, Martha wanted a grandchild by birth, just as she’d wanted only a child who was born into the family—which did answer one nagging question.

  “Then, there’s no chance I’m adopted?” Rachel asked.

  Hannah cackled. “Silly goose. ‘Course not. Your mama would never of agreed to somethin’ like that.”

  The back door banged. Rachel’s head snapped around. Sean! She’d gotten so caught up in the emotional discussion she’d temporarily forgotten he was nearby! She was thankful there was nothing in his expression to imply he’d overheard what she’d just told Hannah. Matter of fact, he wasn’t even looking at either of them. Instead, he was focused on the pretty little girl he carried.

  Samantha had one arm around Sean’s neck. In her other hand was an empty basket for gathering eggs. Giggling and talking a mile a minute, she was monopolizing him as only an enthusiastic child can. Sean was grinning, nodding and giving the little girl his rapt attention.

  Rachel smiled. Seeing two people she loved, together like that, was such a beautiful, dear sight that it brought tears to her eyes. What a wonderful father Sean would make some day!

  For an unguarded moment Rachel let herself imagine being the third party in the make-believe family portrait. More tears gathered, wetting her lashes and threatening to spill over. She had to admit the futility of a dream like that.

  Not wanting anyone to notice how unhappy she was, she quickly looked away.

  The last thing she glimpsed before she turned her head was an unspoken question in Sean’s eyes.

  With Hannah controlling most of the adult conversation during the impromptu meal, and Samantha so excited to have both her teacher and counselor there that she babbled incessantly, Rachel didn’t have to participate often. When she did choose to speak, she kept it short and to the point. She didn’t see how she could get into much trouble with “Please pass the gravy,” although the way her life had been stirred up lately, there was no telling.

  To her consternation, Sean seemed to be taking the whole encounter quite calmly, even when Hannah began to quiz him about his background. And, to the Brodys’ credit, they didn’t react negatively to his announcement that, yes, he was a Yankee. Amused, Rachel came to the conclusion that true Southern hospitality knew no bounds. Well, almost none.

  Allowing herself a moment to appreciate her roots, she dropped her guard, smiled and glanced over at Sean. He was looking straight at her! Instantly he broke into a wide grin, eyes sparkling. Rachel wanted to avert her gaze but she was mesmerized by the sight of his apparent bliss.

  He leaned back and sighed with contentment. “I believe that’s the best meal I’ve ever eaten,” he said. “I couldn’t hold another bite if you paid me.”

  “Not even a piece of homemade apple pie?” Hannah was beaming with pride.

  “Homemade?”

  “Made it myself just this mornin’.”

  Rachel had to laugh at the funny, distressed look on Sean’s face. “Hannah’s famous for her pies. If you’re really too full to eat it now, maybe she’ll let you take a piece home with you.”

  “That would be great!” He looked to his hostess. “Ma’am?”

  The older woman acted as if she didn’t care, but Rachel could tell how pleased she was to have been asked. “Oh, I ‘spose. No sense lettin’ it go to waste. I’m fixin’ to bake cookies tomorrow, anyway.” She smiled down at Samantha. The child had crawled up in Sean’s lap as soon as he’d pushed away from the table. “Gotta get ’em done afore my little friend leaves.”

  Rachel stiffened. “Leaves?”

  Hannah looked ashamed. “Sorry. I shouldn’t of talked out of turn. Not when we’re all havin’ so much fun.” She stared pointedly at the child, then turned to Rachel with a warning shake of her head. “Nothing’s definite.”

  That was a lie if Rachel had ever heard one. She knew Hannah well enough to see right through her, especially since the older woman’s eyes had grown suddenly misty when she’d mentioned Samantha’s imminent departure.

  Needing moral support, Rachel looked to Sean. He, too, was showing concern over the unexpected disclosure. He leaned down to whisper something in Samantha’s ear, then set her on her feet and stood as if preparing to leave.

  Rachel didn’t want him to get away until she’d had a chance to speak privately with him, yet she also wanted the opportunity to find out exactly what Hannah was holding back. She took the initiative.

  Starting to stack plates she said, “We’ll help you clean up these dishes, won’t we, Sean?”

  To her delight he pitched right in and grabbed the bowls that had held potatoes and brown gravy. Rachel pointed to the meat platter. “Shall I put the roast away on this plate or do you want to put it on something smaller?”

  “You two young folks just leave that table be,” Hannah ordered, fists on her ample hips. “You’re my guests. We’ll see to the dishes. Hank always helps me soon as he gets the stock fed, anyways.” She smiled fondly. “Sam, why don’t you take your teacher and her friend outside and show ’em the chickens? I’ve been lettin’ one old broody hen run loose and I figure she’s made her a nest. See if y’all can find that, too. But leave it be if you do. I’d like her to raise a batch.”

  That notion made Rachel frown. “Isn’t it pretty late in the year to be starting baby chicks?”

  “Nope,” Hannah said, shaking her head in silent warning.

  Rachel understood. “Okay. We’ll be right outside if you need us. But before I go home, you and I are going to have a serious talk.”

  “’Fraid so. Now, scat, the three of you.”

  Leading the way and talking nonstop, Samantha let the screen door bang behind her and skipped on ahead to start her search.

  Sean held the door for Rachel, then followed her out onto the back porch. Pausing, he took a slow, deep breath and released it as a sigh.

  “I’m beginning to think I may have made a mistake when I chose this career.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I don’t seem to be able to stay objective.”

  “About Samantha, you mean? I know. I’m having the same trouble. When Hannah slipped up and told us she was leaving pretty soon, I felt awful.”

  Sean reached for Rachel’s hand, grasped it gently, then said, “We have only a very short time.”

  “What?” She clasped his fingers tighter. “How do you know?”

  “Hank told me. I caught him out here before dinner and he filled me in. I mean before supper.”

  “Dinner, supper—who cares?” Rachel stared up at him, her eyes pleading. “Exactly how much time did he say we had left?”

  “Less than a week.”

  “Oh, no. Oh, Sean…”

  Suddenly, it no longer mattered that she’d vowed to keep her distance from him. There was solace in his embrace and she needed that moral support a lot more than she needed to maintain her stupid pride.

  Releasing his hand Rachel stepped into his arms, knowing he’d accept her and hoping he’d understand that her motives were innocent.

  Sean pulled her close and laid his cheek against her silky hair, breathing in the sweetness of it and allowing himself to relish the tender moment. Like it or not, they shared a love for a special little girl and were about to experience a mutual loss when she was sent away.

  Under those circumstances, leaning on each other, literally and figuratively, couldn’t be wrong. Ill-advised maybe, but certainly not wrong. Saying goodbye to Samantha—for good—was going to be rough on everyone involved.

  That realization had already settled in his heart and made it ache. How much more was it going to hurt when Samantha left them. And if he was so miserable, it must be a lot worse for a loving, maternal person like Rachel.

  Filled with empathy, he turned his head a fraction and kissed her hair, finding the spot damp from his own silent tears.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Samantha’s excited sho
ut brought Rachel and Sean to their senses. By the time the child dashed around the corner to rejoin them, they were standing apart and trying to appear unaffected.

  “I found it!” Samantha grabbed Rachel’s hand and dragged her away. “Come see! Come see!”

  Still fighting to maintain what little was left of her dignity, Rachel glanced back to tell Sean, “You’d better come, too, in case she’s right. Broody hens can be pretty testy if they’re disturbed.”

  Several long strides brought him even with the woman and child. “Think you’ll need protection?”

  Rachel looked up at him. “Tall. We need tall and you’re it. If a hen starts to kick up a fuss, anybody close to the ground is going to get scratched. Including me.”

  Sean chuckled. “Are you saying you want me to pick you up?”

  “No! Of course not. Just grab Samantha and keep her out of harm’s way.”

  “Okay.” In one fluid motion he scooped the little girl into his arms and held her while she protested, “Let me go! I wanna show you.”

  “You can show us from up there,” Rachel said calmly. “Mama chickens can be really mean. Tell me where you think you saw the nest, and I’ll check it out for you.”

  Samantha pouted. “No fair. I found it first.”

  “And we’ll let you look again, just as soon as I’ve made sure it’s safe. I know Mrs. Brody wouldn’t have sent us to look for a nest if she’d thought we’d actually find one.”

  “There,” the child said, pointing. “Under that big bush.”

  “This one?” Cautious, Rachel pushed back the lower branches of a thick crepe myrtle and peered through the greenery to the ground. The straw Hannah had used for mulch was slightly concave in one small spot but there were no eggs in sight. The depression certainly didn’t resemble any nests Rachel had seen chickens scratch out before.

  She relaxed. “You can put her down,” she told Sean. “There’s nothing under here.”

  “Yes, there is!” Samantha hit the ground running and dived under the shrubbery before either adult could stop her. Her shrill voice cried, “See? Right here. Oh,” then went very still.

  Rachel crouched. Sean dropped to his hands and knees and edged forward. They both heard Samantha cooing.

  “Look,” the child whispered. She turned, cradling something tiny and brown against her chest. “It’s so soft.”

  “Aww, that’s a baby bunny,” Rachel gently told her. “You should put it back so its mother can take care of it.”

  “Maybe it doesn’t have a mother,” Samantha argued.

  “Of course it has a mother. Everything does.”

  “Uh-uh. Maybe she got killed. Like my mama.”

  Overcome with guilt for having spoken so carelessly, Rachel didn’t dare say anything else right away. Not without the catch in her throat making her voice break. She was grateful when Sean filled the gap.

  “Tell you what,” he said. “Let’s put the baby back in its nest and I’ll help you check on it every day after school. If it looks like its mother is really missing, then we’ll give it something to eat. Okay?”

  “There’s two of them,” Samantha said. “Twins.”

  “All the more reason to put it back. You wouldn’t want its brother to be lonesome, would you?”

  “It’s a sister,” Samantha announced. “They’re girls. I know ‘cause they’re both so pretty and soft.”

  Smiling, Sean cast Rachel a sidelong glance. “I’m glad we cleared that up.”

  “Me, too.” Rachel couldn’t help but return his grin. “I knew better than to ask.”

  She held a group of branches back so the little girl could reach the hidden nest more easily. Samantha tucked the bunny next to its sibling beneath the loose straw and reemerged looking forlorn.

  “You did the right thing,” Rachel told her. “It’s the job of people to take good care of all the animals.”

  “Like Noah did?” Samantha asked.

  “Yes. Kind of.”

  Already eagerly following another train of thought, the child said, “Noah had lions and tigers and stuff. I saw pictures in Sunday school. I did. And giraffes, too. They stuck their head out the windows of the boat.”

  Rather than try to explain the immense scope of the actual ark the way the Bible did, Rachel merely said, “That’s right. He had two of everything.”

  “I never saw a real giraffe,” Samantha said, “or lions and stuff, either. My daddy was going to take me but…”

  “I’m so sorry.” Pulling her close, Rachel gave her a long hug before she let go and straightened. “I’m sure you’ll get to go to the zoo someday, honey.”

  Eyes twinkling, Samantha grabbed her hand. “I know! You could take me. You and Sean!”

  Rachel’s gaze darted to his face and found her own surprise mirrored there. “I don’t think so.”

  Sean shrugged, smiled. “Why not? You’re a teacher. You’re allowed to take kids on field trips, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, but it can take weeks to get a trip authorized.”

  “Okay. Then, we’ll go privately.”

  “Hannah can’t permit that,” Rachel argued.

  “How about if she goes along, too?”

  “Are you saying we should take her with us?”

  He wasn’t about to back down. “Sure. Why not?”

  “If we’re going to do that, why not just give Hannah some money and send her while we’re both at work?”

  “And miss all the fun? Not me,” Sean vowed. “I haven’t been to a zoo in I don’t know how long.”

  “Well, I’m not about to play hooky from school, if that’s what you have in mind,” Rachel said flatly.

  “Don’t our contracts say we get personal leave days or something like that?”

  “Yes, but…”

  “No more excuses, then. It’s settled. We’re going to the zoo. All of us.” At his feet, the excited little girl was jumping up and down and squealing with delight.

  Rachel wasn’t quite as thrilled. She stared up at him. “Okay, smarty. When?”

  “Soon.”

  “Not if we can’t officially get the time off. I’d never ditch school. What kind of example would that be for my class?”

  “A lousy one,” Sean said with a sigh. “The question is, how badly do you want to keep from disappointing poor Sam.”

  Glancing around the immediate area, Rachel said, “Speaking of which, where did she go?”

  “Probably ran inside to tell Hannah the good news.”

  “Terrific.”

  Shaking her head incredulously and staring off into the distance, Rachel wondered absently how she’d been coerced into agreeing to participate in such a crazy scheme. It didn’t take her long to admit the truth—she wanted to go with Samantha and Sean so badly she could taste it.

  So much for maintaining emotional distance from her students! She grimaced as her thoughts spiraled further. Students? Ha! They were nowhere near the worst of her problems. No, sir. Her biggest dilemma stood six feet tall and had enticingly mischievous eyes, not to mention an inherent kindness and the sort of physique that lonely women’s dreams were made of.

  Sean tapped her on the shoulder to regain her attention. “Hey there. Anybody home?”

  “Nobody sane,” Rachel quipped. “If I were, I’d have told you I wasn’t going anywhere with you, let alone to the zoo.”

  “But you didn’t,” he countered, grinning. “And you know how important it is to keep a promise to an impressionable child. Shall we plan on the day after tomorrow?”

  “Will that be soon enough?”

  “Barely,” Sean said, sobering. “Just barely.”

  By the day of the trip Rachel was convinced that the Lord must have had His hand in their outing. Otherwise, how could all their plans have panned out so beautifully? Standing in Hannah’s yard, waiting for Sean to arrive, she said as much.

  “Know what ya mean,” the older woman agreed. “When I told Mr. Vanbruger that Sam would be leaving soon, he said
she could keep up with her schoolwork at home till then. ‘Course, it ain’t like you give her much homework in kindergarten.”

  Rachel laughed lightly. “True. But we learn new things every day. What I can’t believe is how easily he approved my request for time off, even though the year’s just beginning. I hope he was as generous with Sean.”

  “You didn’t ask him?”

  “I haven’t seen him. Not to talk to. The closest I’ve come to that man since we ran into each other over here the other night was a few glimpses of him in the hallways at school. He didn’t bother to telephone me, either. If it hadn’t been for you, I wouldn’t even have known what time we were supposed to be leaving or where we were going to meet.”

  All Hannah said was “Hmm,” before she turned away and went back into the house, leaving Rachel free to concentrate more fully on her innermost thoughts.

  The thing that surprised her was her own level of enthusiasm for the trip. From the moment she’d awakened that morning she’d felt like a child herself. At first she’d assumed she was merely happy on Samantha’s behalf, but now that she’d had time to look deeper into her heart she had to admit that much of her joy was personal.

  Such a sudden awakening brought Rachel up short. It wasn’t right to let herself make believe that her life could turn out differently than she knew it would. Yet she desperately wanted one day—just one day—when she could pretend there was hope, that she might someday become someone’s mother. Someone’s wife.

  Her breath caught. She stood very still, listening to her racing heart and acknowledging the whole truth. She didn’t dream of being just anyone’s wife—she dreamed of belonging only to Sean Bates, and he to her.

  “But I love him, Father,” she whispered. “I can’t do that to him. I can’t deny him a family. What am I going to do?”

  For a moment she considered asking God to change her body so she could feel complete. It wouldn’t have been the first time she’d begged for healing. When Craig had taken the news of her physical lack so hard, she’d fallen on her knees as soon as she was alone and wept an unspoken plea. At that time, the Lord had granted her peace instead. To continue to ask Him for something else seemed ungrateful. Wrong-hearted.