DUBIOUS

by McKinney, Tina Brooks

  “Damn, what’s going on here?” I said.

  “They started this new thing for the grown and sexy. They have a live band coming in and everything. I heard about it on the radio. Trust me, it’s exactly what the doctor ordered.”

  I wasn’t sure I was up to the type of partying Talisa had in mind, but since I wasn’t getting anything else done, I decide to go with the program.

  * * *

  Instead of waiting for a seat, Talisa headed straight for the bar.

  “Hey, aren’t we going to get a seat?” I said, really wanting the comforts of a secluded table.

  “We will right here.” She jumped up on the stool and twirled around. Her head was bopping to the music.

  Her energy was catchy, and I was starting to have fun despite myself. We were having tequila shots. After the sixth one, I was ready to dance. Liquor made me bold. I strutted to the middle of the crowded dance floor and began shaking my hips. I closed my eyes and pretended I was dancing with a serious hunk who had found me totally attractive and desirable.

  I danced for two songs before my buzz started to wear off. Needing additional fuel, I damn near knocked Sherman down. He was dancing with me without my knowledge. I felt flushed, embarrassed to have been caught lost in a fantasy.

  “Hey you,” I finally said.

  “Hey yourself. I was wondering when you would wake up and realize that I was standing here.”

  “Ouch. You could have pretended that I wasn’t in the middle of the dance floor making a complete fool of myself.”

  “I thought you looked quite sexy. That’s why I followed you onto the floor.”

  “You’ve been here the entire time?” I took his hand.

  “Yep. Waiting for you to get drunk enough so I would have an excuse to throw you over my shoulder and carry you home with me.”

  My skin got hotter just thinking about laying in his arms again. I’d all but forgotten about Talisa. I looked over at the bar, but she was no longer sitting on the stool. “Dag, where did my friend go?”

  “Oh, she’s still here. She found someone else to keep her company.”

  We walked toward the bar. Our glasses were gone, but Sherman took the liberty of ordering for both of us.

  “So do you want to tell me why you haven’t been returning my calls?” he asked.

  “Sherman, it wasn’t a conscious decision to ignore you. I’ve just been caught up in some major drama, and I didn’t want to burden you with it.”

  “I feel so used.” He held his hand against his chest and pretended to wipe his eyes with a cocktail napkin.

  “You are so silly.” I laughed for what felt like the first time in weeks.

  “So it wasn’t my morning breath or my five o’clock shadow?”

  “No, I really like you.” I rubbed his arm.

  “I’m glad ’cause I like you, too. I would hate to lose you so soon.” He leaned over and kissed me.

  It started out as a friendly kiss, but my drunk ass took it further by pushing my tongue into his mouth. I could feel his uncertainty, but after a few seconds, he started to get into it.

  “Get a room,” Talisa said, startling me.

  I wiped traces of lipstick from his lips and my own.

  “I like the way Talisa thinks,” Sherman said with a wink.

  “Hey Sherman,” Talisa said then turned to me. “Felicia, I’ve got to get ready to go. My children are blowing up my phone. Do you need me to take you back to the office to get your car?”

  “No, I’ve got her,” Sherman said. “You drive safely.”

  They talked like I wasn’t even in the room and didn’t have a voice of my own.

  I finished my drink with a loud burp. “Go head you two and plan my life.” I was so drunk I didn’t even bother to say I was sorry. Instead, we all burst out laughing.

  Talisa leaned against the bar laughing. She had such an infectious laugh that we all were holding our sides until she sucked in her breath as if she were choking.

  “What’s the matter?” Instantly I became alarmed as her eyes got as big as saucers. I turned around to see who had sucked the life out of her only to see Randy and some other dude come into the bar. My laughter died as well. Bolting back the remainder of Sherman’s drink and swallowing the ice in mine, I marched over to Randy with fire burning in my heart.

  “Oh shit! I think she’s about to go off,” Talisa said loud enough for me to hear her.

  I could hear her feet pounding as she took off after me.

  “Hello, Randy. Is this the trick that you left me for?” I stood up in his face like I was about to kick his ass. I could tell by the shocked expression on his face that I was the very last person he wanted to run into tonight.

  “Felicia, are you alright?” Randy said.

  “Hell no I’m not alright. My husband is getting fucked by a dog!”

  Before I could utter another word or swing the first punch, Sherman had thrown me over his shoulder and carried me out of the club.

  CHAPTER 35

  Randy

  “Yo, dawg, who the hell was that? That bitch don’t know me,” Jamie said as we watched Felicia being carried away.

  “That wasn’t no bitch.” I looked around the club to see who was paying attention. My neck was hot and sweat was rolling off my forehead.

  “That ho ain’t got no business calling me a dog. Shit, she lucky old dude snatched her up ’cause I was about to serve her ass.”

  “That was my wife.”

  Jamie’s neck snapped back as if I had punched him.

  “Daamn … wow, I was about to come out the bag on that bitch.”

  “Hey, stop with all the name calling.” I was beginning to get heated. I needed a drink in the worst way. I went over to the bar and ordered two double shots of tequila. I drank one before returning to the table and carried the other one with me. I was no longer in the mood to celebrate. I just wanted to go home. Visions of Felicia’s face kept playing in my mind. I had never meant to hurt her, and I kept doing it.

  “You better now?” Jamie had a smirk on his face.

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Hey, I don’t blame you. You need to get your girl in check, though. She can’t just be running up on folks and shit.”

  “Look, I’m not feeling this celebration anymore. Why don’t you finish your drink and let’s get out of here.” I sighed and put my face in my palms.

  “What about your other friend? Don’t you want to wait for him?”

  “Naw, he’ll be straight. He’s meeting this girl that works here anyway.”

  “I know you are not about to let a bitch ruin our night.”

  I slammed my fist down on the table. I had taken enough of Jamie’s shit, and I was about to bust him dead in the mouth. “Man, I told you to stop calling her names. What happened between us is none of your fucking business. Now if you want to sit here and get shit-faced, I’m game. But if you say another fucking word about my wife, we will be getting physical up in this joint.”

  “I like physical, just say the word.”

  My eyes darted around the room. I hoped that no one had heard his flirtatious comment. Once again, my face heated up but so did my dick. Jamie was such a sexy man it was hard to stay mad at him even when he was being an ass. I placed my hands in my lap to cover my erection. “Cut the shit, man. Someone could hear us.”

  Jamie nodded his head, but his eyes had that knowing look of arousal.

  I averted my eyes.

  “This place is getting crowded,” he said.

  “I know. This side of town needed a place like this where grown folks can unwind. I haven’t been here on any other night besides Friday, but so far, I’ve always had a good time.”

  “Picking up the ladies?” He looked at me.

  “Naw, just chillin’.”

  “You excited about starting work?”

  “I don’t know if excited is the word I would use, but I’m happy about it. My money was getting kind of short, an
d I’m getting tired of sleeping on the couch at my friend’s house.”

  “You can always stay with me until you get on your feet again.”

  I was both shocked and stunned by his offer. I would have never thought he would offer me a place to stay, especially since the last time I was at his place he’d made it clear to me that he was a player and wasn’t interested in a relationship. “Thanks, man. Hopefully, I’ll be able to move within a few months.”

  Kelvin had chosen this moment to walk over to the table. “What up, Mr. Gainfully Employed?”

  I stood up to greet him, giving him dap. He was looking good in a thugish sort of way. I was so used to seeing him in suits and ties, this was a pleasant surprise. I didn’t know he had it in him. “Yo, man, look at you. You’re all dressed to impress and shit.”

  “Just a little something I picked up at the mall today.” He turned to Jamie.

  I said, “Kelvin, this is my friend Jamie.”

  “What’s up?” Jamie grunted with attitude.

  Kelvin gave me the what-the-fuck-is-his-problem? look, but I had no clue.

  I just shrugged my shoulders. “You finally made it. What do you want to drink?”

  “I’ll have whatever y’all are having,” Kelvin said.

  “Jamie, do you want another one?” I stood up, ready to go to the bar.

  “Naw, I’m good.”

  I didn’t want to leave them at the table by themselves, but the waitress was way too busy to serve us in a timely manner. If I didn’t know any better, I would think that Jamie was jealous of my relationship with Kelvin, which was totally absurd. I went and ordered the drinks. The bartender said she would send them over to the table.

  I quickly went back hoping for the best. “Y’all ready to get this party started?” I was trying to play the host role, but I was failing miserably. I had too much on my mind to begin with; this friction between my friends was not helping.

  “Yeah man.” Kelvin said. “Hey, have you seen Shannan?”

  “You mean shorty that you sweating?” I sipped my drink.

  “There you go. I ain’t sweating her. I just like her. She’s cool people.”

  “And not bad on the eyes, either.”

  We exchanged pounds, laughing. Jamie just ignored our banter.

  “Randy, you didn’t tell your friend about your ex showing up. I’ll bet he’ll get a kick out of that,” Jamie, said laughing.

  “What? Felicia was here again?” Kelvin asked and looked from Jamie to me.

  Why in the fuck would Jamie bring that up again? It’s like he’s trying to start some shit. I should have followed my instincts and left like I wanted to. “Yeah, she was here.”

  “And she had a man with her,” Jamie snidely added.

  “Stop playin’, sweet little Felicia. What did she say?” Kelvin leaned forward like he was about to get an earful.

  “Can we not talk about this? I thought we were here to celebrate.” I was fuming. I didn’t need Kelvin all up in my marital problems; it was bad enough I was sleeping on his sofa. If I could have kicked Jamie under the table, I would have.

  He was wearing this sheepish grin on his face.

  I wanted to slap the brakes off that motherfucker. I had not seen this vicious and vindictive side of him before, and I didn’t like it.

  “Hey, man, don’t let it get to you. I’ve known you and Felicia for years. Y’all will get to that happy place again where you two can coexist,” Kelvin said.

  “Yeah, all you got to do is snatch the bitch up and fuck her brains out then she’ll start acting like she has some sense,” Jamie said.

  It had happened so fast, it was easy to miss. I nailed him right in the kisser. Had it not been for the chair back, his ass would have been on the floor.

  I didn’t remember coming across the table or the punch that practically broke my knuckles. The look of surprise on Jamie’s face—before it crumbled—was a classic look that I would never ever forget. My mind said hit him again, but it really wasn’t necessary. He had gotten my point.

  Kelvin’s eyes grew as big as saucers as he pushed me back in my seat. “Pull up, man. What’s up with your friend?”

  “I warned him to stop calling Felicia out her name.”

  Jamie covered his mouth with a hand.

  I shook my hand trying to get back the feeling. I kept my eye on Jamie just in case he was feeling froggy and wanted to leap. I was never much of a fighter, so I was glad he stayed in his seat.

  “Sorry, man.” Jamie opened and closed his mouth. “I deserved that punch. I didn’t mean any disrespect.”

  “Look, I don’t know what’s up with you two, but I’m not about to let y’all get me thrown out of this club and mess things up with my shorty. I’ll holla at you later.” Kelvin picked up his glass and left without even a backwards glance.

  “What is wrong with you?” I hissed.

  “I said I was sorry. Plus I told you I didn’t do strangers well.”

  “Man, up until a few weeks ago, we were strangers. I don’t buy that shit.”

  “Hell, I don’t know, it was something about him I just didn’t like.”

  “You didn’t give him the chance; you came out the box on him with an attitude.”

  He emptied his drink and slumped back in his chair. “Can we get out of here? This music is starting to give me a headache.”

  I thought it might have been his aching jaw, but I didn’t want to say it to his face. “Yeah, I’m ready.” I looked around for Kelvin, but all I could see was a sea of people grooving to the music. Not wanting to face his unasked questions, I decided to just call it a night.

  “Man, I’m sorry about ruining your night.”

  What did he expect me to say? He acted like a jerkplain and simple.

  “Hey, I’ve got a sixty-year-old bottle of Scotch at the house that I was saving for a special occasion. Do you want to crack it open with me?”

  “Naw, I think I’m going to head on in. It’s been a long day.” I was pissed.

  “Why you want to be a pussy?”

  “What is up with you and the name calling? I’m not amused by that shit.” I prayed he didn’t make me punch him again.

  “Why are you being all sensitive?” he said.

  “Just because I don’t believe in calling women bitches and hoes does not mean I’m being sensitive. It’s respect, man, something that you obviously need to learn.”

  “Okay. If I promise not to disrespect any more females, will you come to my house for a drink? I have a little surprise for you.”

  “What is it?” I said, still pissed off.

  “Didn’t I just say it was a surprise?”

  “I hate surprises. Just tell me what it is.”

  “You’ll like this one, and that’s all I’m going to say about the matter.”

  Jamie had his good points and bad. He could be insufferably arrogant one minute and as loving as a puppy the next. How could I resist when he was looking so sexy when he begged? Against my better judgment, I followed him to his house.

  CHAPTER 36

  Felicia

  “Put me down. You don’t understand. I’ve got to go back.” I beat against Sherman’s neck in an effort to get his attention, but he didn’t put me down until we were at his car.

  “I’m not going to ask you what that was about, but we need to go now. Please, Felicia, stop fighting me and get into the car.”

  “You don’t understand.” At this point, tears were rolling down my cheeks.

  “Felicia, please get into the car before this gets totally out of control.” Defeated, I slumped into the seat.

  He closed the door behind me as I begin to cry in earnest. My breath was catching and snot was flowing freely from my nose. I was about to have a conversation that I just didn’t want to have.

  How was I to explain to my new man that Randy had left me for a fucking dog? All my education, money, and success meant nothing to me at this point. I could not even hold my own against a f
our-legged animal. And I could read the body language of the man Randy was with, their relationship was more than casual. Randy looked at him the same way he used to look at me. The look alone was enough to make me lose my mind. That was my look, dammit.

  Talisa stuck her head in the door of Sherman’s car. “Are you going to be okay?” Her face was etched with concern.

  I was glad I hadn’t shown her the tapes; nevertheless, I was sorry for giving her, my employee, cause for alarm. “Yeah, I’m good. Thanks.” I buried my head into the headrest of Sherman’s silver BMW. I was tired of talking and only wanted to go somewhere to sleep off the effects of all the booze and the stresses of my life.

  * * *

  Sherman didn’t say anything as he peeled away from the parking space. I could not tell if he was mad or disgusted. My life was crumbling before my eyes, and I felt powerless to do anything about it.

  The ride was silent.

  I didn’t even want to ask whether he was taking me home or to his house. Somehow I had fallen asleep and didn’t awake until he put the car into Park.

  “Where are we?” I mumbled, wiping droll off my lips.

  “My house.” He turned toward me with a face of granite. His eyes went from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet before he spoke again. “Look, you are trying to keep me on the outside looking in. I don’t want that. I want to be a part of your world, so can we please start again?”

  I thought about what he was saying and a cold chill went up my spine. What exactly did he mean about being in my life? Would that mean I would have to come clean with everything? What if I did and he turned tail and ran? Was he worth it? These were questions I wasn’t willing to answer. I allowed him to lift me from the car and carry me into his house. My plan was to go right to sleep and deal with this shit in the morning.

  Luckily for me, he lay me down on what I assumed was his bed; and, after crawling in next to me, we went to sleep without even bothering to take off our clothes.

  CHAPTER 37

  Randy