When You're Mine

by K. Langston

  “Aaaahhhh.”

  He added two fingers, working them in and out slowly, driving me out of my damn mind. I came on a sharp cry, clenching my legs around his head. Releasing me, he crawled up my body. The flip of the comforter revealed a messy haired Barrett, sporting red cheeks, wet lips and that dimple that had put one hell of a dent in my heart.

  Settling between my legs, he teased me with a thrust. “I was going to cook breakfast, but all you have is Lucky Charms, so I decided to eat you instead.”

  “I love Lucky Charms.”

  “I love you,” he dropped in my ear before finding my eyes.

  I cupped his face, fascinated by how different he looked. Aside from the trimmed beard that had sexy little spikes of grey sprinkled around his chin, he also carried a new wrinkle in his brow. “I love you, too.”

  Softly… tenderly, and in direct contrast to the hard on resting between my thighs, he kissed me. Telling me with his mouth how much he’d missed me. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I kept quiet… content to bathe in his presence and love.

  We finally made it out of bed around noon, and if I weren’t so damn hungry, I would’ve stayed there all day. Sitting in my kitchen, me on one side of the island, Barrett on the other, we shared a big bowl of Lucky Charms. “So, I think we should go grocery shopping. I can’t live off cereal,” he teased, taking another bite.

  Milk dripped on his chin and I reached out to wipe it off. “I have food.”

  He smiled, gifting me with that dimple I love so much. “I need to grab a few things anyway. I kind of left in a hurry.”

  I swallowed hard, dreading the answer to my next question. “How long are you staying?”

  Barrett walked around the counter, spinning me in my seat to face him. “As long as you want me to.” Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, he kissed the bridge of my nose.

  I smiled, wrapping my arms around his waist and pressing my cheek to his chest. “I’m so happy you’re here.” I told him, closing my eyes with a sigh. I knew I couldn’t keep him forever, but I was happy to take what I could get.

  When I finally looked back up at him, he brought his open palm between us, revealing the necklace he’d given me. “When I put this back on, you better not ever take it off again. Understood?”

  I nodded.

  Once he had the necklace in place, he landed a kiss to the side of my neck. “Now, let’s go to town before I take you back to bed.”

  We loved with a love that was more than love.

  ~ Edgar Allan Poe

  I’d been going out of my mind with worry, not only about the shit Brent had hanging over my head, but about her, too. All I knew was… I wanted her back. And I would do whatever I had to do to make it happen. A few days after the incident with Brent, I went to her apartment. I wanted answers. I banged on her door for a good half hour before management came and escorted me from the building. I’d left about a hundred voicemails, giving the word stalker a whole new definition of crazy. Her phone was still in service, but her voicemail was full and my text messages continued to go unanswered. Returning to her apartment a few days later, I was greeted by management again. They told me Tabitha had vacated the property. Of course, they weren’t allowed to give me a forwarding address.

  I told my father I was taking some time off until I decided what the hell I was going to do. I spent the first two weeks swimming in a bottle of bourbon, trying to come to terms with the mess that had become my life. Once I realized the alcohol was getting me nowhere, I did everything within my power to find her. Thinking if I had her, I could figure out the rest. Desperate, I hired a private investigator, who eventually tracked her down here- of all places. I don’t know why I didn’t think about calling Madison before. Since arriving last night and spending the entire day with her, I was finally beginning to regain some clarity. I still had a lot of shit to figure out, but there was one thing I knew for certain.

  All I wanted… was her.

  Later, after we went to town and long after dinner, we settled on the lounge on her back deck. The house was incredible, perched up on a steep hill overlooking a private lake. Tall oak trees and pines surrounded the property, providing a decent amount of shade. The sun had almost set, casting incredible rays of light across the darkening sky. With her back pressed to my front, head lying on my chest, I felt like I could breathe again. “I think I have the best seat in the house.” I tightened my arms around her waist.

  Her hand found the top of mine, threading our fingers together. “Beautiful isn’t it?”

  “What made you want to move here?”

  Tabitha exhaled a long breath, relaxing further into me. “A combination of things, I guess. Mostly because I wanted a fresh start. I wasted a lot of years trying to fill a void, unsuccessfully I might add. I thought if I could carve a new path, my own path, I could somehow find a way to fill some of that emptiness I’ve always felt.”

  “Did it work?”

  “Yes,” she sighed. “For the most part. But, I’ve come to realize there’s only one thing that could make it go away completely.”

  “And what’s that?”

  Twisting in my lap, her eyes met mine. “You,” She propped her chin up on folded hands. “After my mother died, I had no one. My father worked constantly. I spent most of my time alone.” Tabitha looked down at my chest, her fingers nervously tugging the sleeve of my shirt. “When Joshua moved to town a few years later, everything changed. At first, I thought he just felt sorry for me. I was kind of pathetic looking back then. Stringy red hair, face full of freckles,” She sucked in a deep breath. “We were inseparable. Everyone at school was just as dumbfounded as me. Why would someone as hot as him want to be with a geek like me? We started out as friends, doing homework together after school. Went to the movies. Hung out. Girls were forever trying to get him to go out with them, but he would always turn them down. When I asked him why, he would always say… I’m just waiting for the right girl. No way did I ever think I would be that girl. I fell hard. Was already in love with him by the time he began to show interest. Planned my entire future around him. Everything down to the number of kids we would have and where we would live.” Shaking her head, she closed her eyes. “I was so blind. Joshua wasn’t looking for the right girl, he was looking for the right fool. We were together throughout the remainder of high school. Then when we graduated, I was pushed to follow my father’s footsteps to Harvard, while Joshua accepted a scholarship to NYU. The distance became a strain. On me mostly. He seemed to be adjusting well. I felt like I was losing him. So I flew in one weekend to surprise him. Even bought some sexy lingerie. Again, completely oblivious. When he didn’t come to the door, I went inside and came face to face with the truth. Joshua had another guy bent over his sofa. He was gay. Had been his entire life. He used me. Said he was too afraid to come out to his parents, to me… to everyone. He still has yet to come out. After that, I shut down. It was either use or be used.”

  Cupping her cheeks, I held her eyes. “No wonder you were so determined to keep me out.”

  She dropped her gaze to my chest again. “I’ve been running away from life for so long, I forgot how to live. So when I found this place, I knew it was time. Time for me to let go of my past. If I couldn’t have love, at least I could have peace. Then you happened.”

  I hoisted her further up my body until we were face to face, eye to eye. “That explains a lot. At first I thought you were still hung up on the whole Maddie thing, but I see now what the real issue was.”

  “I was hung up on the Maddie thing a little. I mean, you two slept together, it was hard to look past it at first. But my hang up was mostly my fear of falling for you knowing I was moving away. Knowing I would lose you.”

  “I’ve been a fucking mess without you. When I found out you moved out of your apartment I…”

  “I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

  I held her eyes, lifting my hands to her cheeks. “Just promise me you’ll never u
se that word again.”

  “What word?”

  “No matter what life throws our way. No matter what battles we are facing, we face them together. No secrets. No lies. No goodbyes.”

  She nodded, tears streaming down her red face. “Promise.”

  The promise was sealed with a kiss, assuring me that no matter what happened, we would always have each other.

  I buried my nose in her hair, inhaling my own ray of sunshine. “Don’t even think about it.”

  “What?” I dropped a kiss to her shoulder.

  “I need food.”

  Brushing the hair from her neck, my lips found her spot. The spot that made her squirm and giggle. I found it Sunday night and you would have thought I’d struck gold. I’d been torturing her ever since. “It’s all your fault he’s awake.”

  Tabitha wiggled against me while her giggles vibrated through my chest, making me even harder. “I don’t see how, with as many times as you had me last night.”

  “That was all your mouth’s fault.” I went in search of the sweet spot again, but she rolled to face me.

  “Let the evidence show that it was your mouth commanding mine the entire time.”

  Reaching down, I cupped her bare ass. “I love it when you get all legal on me. More.”

  “You are so kinky, lawyer boy.”

  “More,” I ordered, going for the hot spot again.

  “Will you stop doing that?” Tabitha reached down and wrapped her warm fingers around me. “That’s it,” She began to stroke. “You have fifteen minutes to make me scream counselor, or I’m holding you in contempt.”

  “You keep stroking me like that… I’ll only need ten.”

  “Prove it.”

  And that’s exactly what I did. However, I didn’t need ten.

  I made her scream in seven.

  We spent the next two days in bed. Well, when we weren’t cuddled up on the couch watching movies or relaxing out back. Tabitha had taken a job at the local elementary school, but it was summer break, which meant we could spend all day doing absolutely nothing, or one another. The latter, I enjoyed the most. It was mid-morning when we decided to stray from the sheets in search of food. Tabitha was sitting on the island, cross-legged with one of my t-shirts on, and if I’m not mistaken… no panties.

  She was holding a bowl of cereal in her hand, eating and smiling at me while I sipped my coffee. “So what do you want to do today?”

  “You,” I informed her over the rim of my cup, my cock already swelling in excitement.

  A sexy grin curled her lips. “After that.”

  Sitting my mug down, I took two steps and reached out, scooting her closer to the edge. She placed her bowl on the counter and wrapped her arms around me. “After I take you right here, I’m going to make love to you in the bed. Then we’re going out later. I have a surprise for you.”

  Tabitha cocked her head with a smile. “Well, as long as it involves food, I’m so down with that.”

  Her lips met mine and my fingers pressed into her hips urging her closer. “Oh, I think you’ll love me even more after tonight.”

  Those incredible soft lips moved to my neck. “I would love you more right now if you would shut up and fuck me.”

  She pulled away, unfolding her legs and pulling the shirt from her body.

  No fucking panties.

  Seizing her mouth, I pushed her backward, swiping an arm across the counter. Mail, her purse, and a half eaten bowl of Lucky Charms went flying across the room as I climbed up onto the granite and settled between her open legs. I continued working on her mouth while eager fingers tugged the elastic of my briefs. Her feet took over the chore of sliding them down my legs. I put my hand between us, fisting my cock. Rubbing the head up and down her wet slit, her back arched and a moan vibrated in her throat.

  “Damn baby, I love the sounds you make.” Hooking her knee, I buried myself deep. The soft bounce of her breasts each time I surged forward had me ready to come within minutes. I dipped my mouth to take her nipple, earning myself another spine tingling moan as her hot pussy clenched tight around me. I fucked her harder with long, deep strokes. We came together in an explosion of heated passion, promising with our bodies once again that this love was real, it was ours and it would last forever.

  The past is a ghost, the future a dream,

  all we ever have is now.

  ~ Bill Cosby

  It was nice here, living in the moment, taking in every second I had with him as it came, leaving the past and regrets where they belonged… behind me. When he told me earlier he had a surprise for me tonight, I had no idea what to expect. The name on the old brick building read The Hollywood, but it looked anything but glamorous, and it was in the middle of nowhere. “I was looking online for local restaurants; I think I found a diamond in the rough.”

  I simply smiled, wondering how on earth this place could be a gem of any kind. I was proven wrong the moment we stepped inside. You could tell from the outside the place was small, but it had a big personality. Tree branches lined the walls with twinkling lights dripping from each one casting a soft, romantic glow on the rows of tables. There was a full bar with a glowing HOLLYWOOD sign just above it. The hardwood floors looked as original as the old black and white pictures hanging on the walls depicting life in the south.

  The hostess guided us to our table, and when Barrett pulled out my chair for me to sit, his mouth found my ear. “This place is famous for their fried pickles. I knew for sure, you of all people would appreciate that.”

  Picking up the menu, I caught the chill pickle at the top and smiled. “I didn’t think it was possible.”

  “What?”

  I leaned forward, holding his eyes. “To love you more.”

  “I’ll spend a lifetime buying you pickles if it earns me smiles like that.”

  The place was small, intimate. Mostly older married couples flocked the tables around us. For a brief moment I thought about the future, and what it would be like to have one with him. How wonderful it would be. Then reality came crashing in, robbing me of my hopes and dreams. I shoved the future aside, content to hold on to the present.

  On the ride home, the easy conversation we’d enjoyed all night shifted to more serious topics. Ones I’d rather avoid. “I need to go back to Boston,” Barrett said, shifting his eyes from the road to me.

  Looking down at my folded hands, I tried to hold back the tears. “When?”

  “Next few days,” Barrett reached over and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together. Bringing the back of my hand to his lips, he kissed it softly. “I’m quitting my job.”

  “What?”

  “I want to be with you.”

  “Barrett, you can’t quit your job just to be with me, that’s crazy.”

  “I know, but I can’t be away from you. You’re here, so this is where I need to be.”

  This was really happening. Love poured from my eyes in a slow steady stream. This man loved me. Wanted to be with me. Forever, from the way he spoke. Suddenly, reality came crashing in fast and hard. Untangling my fingers from his, I crossed my arms over my aching chest. “I won’t let you do that.”

  “Well, lucky for me it’s not your decision to make.” He shifted away from me. “It’s already done anyway. I just have to go tell my father and settle up a few things. This was not the reaction I was hoping for.” he said, his voice filled with uncertainty.

  Silence.

  I needed to think and I couldn’t do that around him. As soon as we pulled into my driveway, I rushed out of the car and into the house, locking myself inside of the bathroom.

  Burying my face in my hands, I cried. I cried for the choices I’d made and the truths I continued to deny. I cried for me, for him, and the love we shared, for the love that would be lost. I cried until I couldn’t cry anymore then climbed in the shower, and cried some more.

  I can’t change the direction

  of the wind but I can adjust my sails to

  alway
s reach my destination.

  ~ Jimmy Dean

  It was inevitable, I had to go back. For how long, I wasn’t sure, but I had a plan. I’d emailed Madison yesterday while Tabitha napped, and after receiving her response this morning, it had finalized my decision. I had hoped Tabitha would be on board with it as well, but judging by her reaction, it wasn’t good. She’d been in the bathroom for a while now. The shower had been running for the last fifteen minutes. I thought for sure she would be happy. No… over the fucking moon about me wanting to be here with her, but the moment the words left my mouth, her whole attitude changed. Her walls went back up. Something I thought was long gone, considering what we’d shared with one another. Granted, I still had a lot of shit to tell her, but I thought we were well past this bullshit.

  Clearly not.

  I was hurt, a little pissed, and a whole lot of confused. What would make her react that way? Especially after the last few days? I had my hand on the knob of the bathroom, eager to get to the bottom of it, when I heard a series of loud thumps coming from the other side of the door. I twisted the knob.

  Locked.

  “Tabitha, open up,” I waited, pressing my ear to the door, all I could hear was running water. Pounding the wood, I ordered once more. “Open the damn door now!”

  Nothing.

  Panic bubbled in my gut, and a shot of adrenaline rushed through my veins. With a swift kick, I gained entry. My heart plunged to the floor. I blinked several times, dread settling over me like a cold wet blanket before I put my heavy feet into motion. With one leg dangling from the side of the tub, Tabitha was slumped over, head tilted to the side as if she were sleeping, but the blood trickling down the side of her head contradicted that ridiculous notion. I shut off the water, pulling my phone from my pocket. My trembling fingers fumbled to unlock the screen to make the call. I put the device on speaker, placing it on the counter before I gently pulled Tabitha from the tub and settled her on my lap. I reached for the towel hanging behind me to cover her body.