Wanting Shaw

by Terri Anne Browning

  “I have three options for you.”

  I waved a hand when she paused, encouraging her to let me hear them.

  She held up her index finger. “Number one, you tell Momma, and she makes this girl go away. But with this option, I can’t promise this girl won’t permanently disappear. You get me?”

  I grimaced but nodded. We liked to joke that Ma had underworld connections. Fuck, I wouldn’t put it past her to actually be some mob boss and she was using being the badass manager of some of the world’s most famous music artists as a front.

  Mia held up a second finger. “Number two, and my favorite option, by the way—you tell Shaw, and she can kick this chick’s ass. And then you can finally get your head out of your ass and make her your girlfriend like you should have already done.”

  Mentally cursing, I gave a negative shake of my head. “I can’t, and you know it.”

  “Because Cannon is so deserving of your loyalty?” Mia gave me a disgusted look.

  “Why do you dislike him so much?” I couldn’t help but ask. “You’ve barely tolerated him for years now. Did he do something to you?”

  “He’s an asshole, Jags,” she said exasperatedly. “Look, I get it. You have your best-friend blinders on, but trust me when I tell you that Cannon Cage isn’t worth your loyalty.”

  “Mia…”

  “Everything he’s ever wanted has come easy to him, but he’s turned into this entitled little dickhead who thinks the world should revolve around him and only him.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder as she continued. “If he doesn’t get what he wants, when he wants it, he becomes a little whiny toddler who sulks and pouts until he gets his way. Or if someone does anything he doesn’t happen to like, no matter how big or small, that person is suddenly his biggest enemy and his newest target for revenge. He’s nothing more than a bully to poor little Piper, who hasn’t done a damned thing to him other than be Gabriella Bryant’s daughter. And Aunt Dallas and Uncle Axton don’t put up with his bullshit. I’ve seen him get punished for being such a jerk, but nothing they’ve thrown at him has ever made him truly see that his entire personality is kind of toxic.”

  “I don’t want to argue about this,” I told her when she was done. I knew she was right. I didn’t have blinders where Cannon was concerned. I knew how big of a prick he could be at times. But he still had my back, and I needed to have his.

  “Look at it this way.” My sister leaned forward slightly and met my gaze. “Let’s say the roles were reversed. What if I was your younger sister and Cannon was interested in me—and I was just as much into him? Would you stand in our way if we wanted to be together? We could be happy and have a future together. Do you step in and try your damnedest to keep us apart, or do you give us the chance to explore what could be?”

  I gave it a moment’s thought before answering honestly. “I wouldn’t be happy about it, because I know he doesn’t deserve you, but I would want you both to be happy.”

  “Exactly. Even though you wouldn’t like the idea of us being together, you love us both enough to want us to be happy.” She waved her hand up and down in my direction. “And that, little brother, is the difference between you and Baby Cage. Your heart isn’t selfish. Whereas he can’t see past what he wants. In his eyes, the world revolves around him and only him, fuck everyone else.”

  I didn’t want to think about that, so I got back to the third option. “One and two are out, so let’s hear this final idea of yours.”

  Mia muttered a curse under her breath. “Yeah, okay. I get it. Number three, you show this girl plain and simple that it’s just not going to happen. Since you say she refuses to see that you two don’t stand a chance, you have to make her open her eyes to the truth.” Her eyes brightened once again, and she grinned. “I know what you could do. You should take Shaw to a party this weekend and make out with her in front of this girl. That will show the other girl, and if it doesn’t, Shaw can still beat her ass.”

  I sat there thinking about the idea and realized Mia was right. It was the best idea. Only, I would have to find someone else to take to a party and still find a way to get Shaw there to see me with the other girl. “There is a party tomorrow night,” I mused aloud. “Maybe you could drop a hint to Shaw that I’ll be there?”

  My sister was practically dancing in her seat with excitement, and I felt guilty for a moment for using her when the ultimate goal was to hurt the girl she wanted me to be with so much. “Absolutely. I was going to call her later anyway to see if she would do a few photos for me to put up around the studios.”

  The rest of our dinner together passed without any more arguing over Shaw or Cannon. By ten, I was ready to head home. As my sister walked me out to my car, Barrick was pulling into the garage.

  “Does he usually work this late?”

  “No, he’s normally home by five most days,” she assured me. “But he and Braxton are tightening security at a bunch of banks around LA, so he’s been working overtime the last week or so. He promised it won’t be for much longer, though.”

  My brother-in-law came out of the detached garage and gave me a tired grin. “Glad I at least got to see you. For a minute, I thought I wasn’t even going to make it home tonight.”

  I gave him a slap-on-the-back hug, and we stepped apart. “My sister says you’re working your ass off for some bank chain.”

  “Yeah, a few more days and we should have all the bugs worked out of the system Braxton has developed. You ever decide you don’t want to be a rock star anymore, I’ll give you a job, kid.” He kissed Mia on the forehead then gave me a chin lift. “I need a shower, firecracker. See you later, Jagger.”

  “Later, Barrick,” I watched him go before glancing at my sister again. “I should go. But don’t forget to mention the party to Shaw, okay? That way, I can go and not have to mention it to Cannon.”

  She gave me a tight hug. “Don’t screw this up,” she told me when she pulled back. “I mean it, Jags. That girl is perfect for you. We all know it.”

  That surprised me. “We?”

  “Me. Momma. Aunt Dallas.” She shrugged. “Nevaeh, Arella, Violet, all the other aunts, and most of the uncles too.”

  Her answer had my eyes widening. “I had no idea they all thought Shaw and I should be together.”

  “Like I said earlier. You’ve been wearing your best-friend blinders for too damn long.” She punched me in the arm playfully then pushed me toward my car. “Drive carefully. Text me when you get home. And tell our parents I love them.”

  The whole drive home, all I could think about was what Mia had said. It seemed like most of our family thought Shaw and I would be good together. Fuck, I thought we would be together too.

  But when it came down to it, I had to choose Cannon.

  Chapter 6

  Jagger

  I pulled up outside the party at some Santa Monica house and just sat there. Beside me, my date was tapping away on her phone, the click-click-click as she typed grating over my nerves.

  I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach telling me—fucking screaming—this was a mistake. I hadn’t done anything yet, so there was plenty of time to stop what was about to happen. But even though every part of my body was demanding I listen to that gut feeling, I couldn’t.

  If only I could push Shaw away, I wouldn’t have to fight with myself twenty-four seven to keep my hands off her. If she hated me, then I didn’t have to worry about what we had ending my friendship with her brother. We could both move on and forget about our mind-blowing kiss. She could find someone else who actually deserved her, and then I’d be forced to do the same.

  The thought of Shaw with someone else, letting them kiss and touch her the way I had only the weekend before, had my hands tightening around the steering wheel until my fingers started to go numb. My date, Gretchen, didn’t even seem to notice we’d arrived. I didn’t care enough to talk to her, let alone remind her we’d come for the party, not to sit in my car all night.

  But
I knew Shaw would be arriving before long. She’d texted me earlier that she was going to be at this party and that we needed to talk. I hadn’t responded, but I had turned on the message receipt option so she knew I’d at least read her text.

  The pain in my gut only intensified as I opened my door and walked around to Gretchen’s door. She finally lifted her gaze from her phone’s screen when I offered her my hand. Surprise and delight filled her light-brown eyes that were kind of pretty as she let me assist her out of my car. Seeing that sparkle of happiness in her gaze made my stomach tense even more.

  I’d picked Gretchen because she was known around my school as an easy conquest. She wasn’t shy about letting everyone know she was happy to put out on the first date. She was a nice enough girl, and beautiful, but I felt nothing for her. Not even when she straightened and pressed herself against the full length of my body did I have even a moment of interest. I was used to the lack of a reaction, however. Since I’d first really noticed Shaw, my body only responded to hers. I went hard the second I so much as smelled her perfume. But anyone else, and I couldn’t even get my damn cock to so much as twitch.

  Forcing a smile, I kept Gretchen’s hand in mine as we walked into the house. I knew plenty of people there since I went to just as many Santa Monica parties with Cannon as he did to ones in Malibu with me. Where one of us went, the other followed.

  I just hoped he didn’t show up to this particular party. When Shaw saw me with Gretchen, I expected things to get ugly fast, and I didn’t want her brother to witness any of it.

  After getting us each a beer, I sat on one of the couches in the living room and pulled Gretchen down onto my lap. She giggled and downed the full contents of her red Solo cup before tossing it carelessly on the floor and spearing her fingers into my hair.

  She kissed like she knew what she was doing, and the way she was flicking her tongue across mine told me she probably gave really good head. Too bad thinking of her lips around my cock didn’t even give me a half chub. I grabbed her ass and arranged her so she was straddling my legs to keep her from feeling my lack of a hard-on and just let her go to town kissing me. I pretended to be in the moment, but my head was anywhere but on the girl fucking my mouth like a pro.

  The feel of something spilling over my head startled me so badly that I jerked and pushed Gretchen to the floor. “Shit!” I yelled, running my fingers through the beer soaking my hair. Looking down at an unhappy Gretchen, I jumped to my feet to help her up. “Are you okay?”

  “She’s fine.” Just the sound of her voice had my cock jumping and digging into the fly of my jeans for the first time all evening. “But you’re not going to be in a minute.”

  Swallowing the sudden knot filling my throat, I slowly turned and saw her with an empty red cup in one hand. Realizing she’d doused me in keg beer, I tried to remember what I had planned to say when she caught me with another girl. “Shaw…” The words wouldn’t form on my tongue. All I saw was the pain in her beautiful blue eyes, and I wanted to fall to my knees and tell her I was sorry. Instead, I clenched my hands into fists and tried again. “Look—”

  “No, you look, dickhead.” She moved so gracefully, the action mesmerizing as she stepped between me and Gretchen, who was still sitting on the floor. Shaw’s index finger stabbed me in the chest as the pain in her eyes morphed into anger. “You can’t kiss me one weekend, then avoid me like the fucking plague for days, only to set it up so I would find you like this. You were the only reason I even came to this damn thing tonight, and you knew it!”

  The knot in my throat only doubled, and I tried to push it down before shaking my head in denial. “Listen—”

  “No,” she interrupted again, practically spitting the word at me. “You listen. You know how I feel. You told me how you feel too. I thought we had a chance. That we could be the next Violet and Luca. Have something amazing. But apparently you’re too much of a goddamn pussy to fight for us.”

  Her voice cracked, and I could feel the hold I had on my own emotions beginning to slip. If I fell to my knees and begged her to forgive me, would she? But even as the thought of doing just that filled my head, I locked my knees and stood my ground. I wanted her to hate me, I reminded myself. The whole point of this night was to show her I wasn’t the guy who deserved her.

  “I fucking knew you two kissed!”

  I’d barely registered the sound of Cannon’s voice before he grabbed my shoulder and swung me around. I had only enough time to take in the wildness in his eyes before his fist blocked my view and I felt the punch to my face. The force of it knocked me on my ass, and I stayed there, knowing I deserved the hit and much, much more.

  “Stay the fuck away from my sister,” he snarled at me, and I bowed my head. “And I told you, keep your distance from my best friend. You’re acting like a fucking slut right now, Shaw.”

  I would have sat there and taken whatever the hell he threw at me, but when he started in on Shaw, I began to reach out and knock his feet out from under him. My only thought was to get him on my level so I could beat some respect for his sister into his thick head. Before I could move, he was suddenly beside me on the floor.

  Dazed by the abruptness of his fall, I looked up at Shaw as she shook out her left hand. “And you’re acting like a fucking prick, asshole.” Her angry gaze went from him to me, and her eyes filled with disgust, making that damn lump fill my throat once again. “You know what? You two deserve each other. You’re both pussified idiots.”

  As she stepped over me and disappeared into the kitchen, I just sat there, watching her walk away. This was what I wanted, I reminded myself yet again. It was the best solution for everyone.

  “You were only making out with me to hurt that girl?”

  Hearing Gretchen’s question made me remember that she was still there, sitting on the floor only a few feet away from me. Unable to get so much as a sound through the tightness of my throat, I shrugged.

  Her brown eyes filled with just as much anger as Shaw’s baby blues had, but the sight had zero effect on me. “She’s right. You are a pussy. I’m out of here.” Standing, she grabbed a pillow off the couch we’d been making out on only minutes before and hit me in the face with it. When it grazed over the spot on my jaw where Cannon had hit me, I had to swallow a groan.

  Shit, I was going to be feeling that for a while. I touched my jaw, checking the damage as I opened my mouth widely a few times. Nothing felt loose or broken, but the way my face throbbed, I was sure I was going to have a bruise.

  Violet stepped over me, shooting me a dirty look before following after Shaw. Having sweet little Vi look at me like that made me feel like a piece of shit, and I forced myself to stand. Brushing off my jeans, I glanced at my best friend and then offered my hand.

  Cannon slapped it away. “You had to go and fuck everything up.” He got to his feet on his own, then swayed once he was upright, and I realized he’d already been drinking. “I told you not to touch my sister.”

  Angrily, I pushed him back when he started to get in my face. “You don’t tell me what to do, Can. I’ll do whatever the fuck I want. She’s not your property, and neither am I.”

  “You’re my friend!” he raged. “She can’t fucking have you. I won’t let her.”

  He sounded like a petulant little child, and I remembered what Mia had said the night before over dinner. My sister was right. Cannon was nothing but an entitled asshole.

  “You’re pathetic,” I told him with a disgusted shake of my head. “Grow the fuck up, man.”

  Turning in the direction Shaw just went, I started to follow her—tell her I was sorry and that I never should have picked Cannon over her—but he got in my face again. I pushed him back for the second time, and he swung at me. But he was already halfway to being drunk. I sidestepped him, and he landed on his face on the floor beside discarded Solo cups and other trash.

  “Jagger.” I turned at the sound of Gretchen’s hesitant voice. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and he
r bottom lip pouted out. “I can’t get an Uber or Lyft. Will you take me home?”

  Instinct told me to go talk to Shaw, to explain and fix things with us now and not later. After seeing Cannon clearly, maybe for the first time ever, I knew I’d chosen wrong. But I’d asked Gretchen to come with me to this party, and it was my responsibility to make sure she got home safely.

  “Yeah, Gretchen,” I assured her as I changed direction and headed for the front door. “I’ll take you home.”

  Chapter 7

  Shaw

  The sound of sobbing had me groaning and turning onto my stomach. Even lying down, I felt dizzy, but whoever was crying kept pulling me out of my drunken sleep. Some part of my brain kept telling me to get up, go to Violet and hold her. But I couldn’t remember why she needed comforting, and I was too out of it to do more than keep my eyes closed so I wouldn’t see the world spinning out of control around me.

  A pounding roused me sometime later, causing me to jerk upright at the force behind it. “Violet?” I blinked in the direction of the voice, recognizing that it belonged to Uncle Shane. “Sweetheart, open the door. Lyric wants to speak with you.”

  It was only then that I heard the sobbing again and blinked my eyes in an attempt to focus on my surroundings a little more.

  When Violet didn’t answer her father, he pounded harder on the door. “Vi!” he yelled this time. “Open the door.”

  “Violet?” Lyric’s deep voice reached me. It was calmer than Uncle Shane’s, coaxing and gentle. “Luca sent me to check on you. Please, babe. Open the door.”

  I got unsteadily to my feet, enticed by that voice. Lyric had always been the sweeter Thornton twin. If my heart weren’t stupidly tangled up around Jagger, maybe I would have fallen for him.

  Thinking about my brother’s best friend had my head filling with snapshot-like memories. When my hand connected with the doorknob and wrapped around it, pain shot through my knuckles and all the way up my wrist, reminding me I’d punched my douchebag brother in the face earlier. The next image that filled my mind was of Remington Sawyer walking down the stairs at the party as I’d stumbled my way up them.