Purple Roads

by Fleur McDonald

  The big man implied that he might enjoy what he was planning but it filled the other with terror.

  ‘I’m trying, please tell him I’m trying,’ he begged, tears welling in his eyes.‘I’ll get the money, I promise I will. I’ve got everything in place, I just need a bit more time.’

  Holy hell, how had he got into this situation again? The first few times had been bad enough, when he’d owed nearly fifteen grand to one of the smaller loan sharks around the north-eastern suburbs of Adelaide. Paddy was different and he knew from the previous debt with him that he was in way over his head. Why did he keep going back for more?

  ‘Boyo, you owe the man fifty big ones - you really think he’s gonna let you get away with it? If you weren’t such a good client, I wouldn’t be talking to you. You’d be in the drum already, all set for a nice sea voyage. Get my drift?’

  It took all his self-control not to move. ‘I’ll have it to him by the end of the week, I swear.’ His voice was shaking.

  ‘Well, then, you’ve got nothing to worry about.’

  The man got off him and he exhaled, relieved. If that was it, he’d got away lightly.Then he felt a boot into his side and a fist to his face.

  And after that he remembered nothing.

  When he awoke, his jeans were wet, the house was dark and the fire had died to nothing but a glow. He could hear the dogs barking outside and groggily tried to shift himself to a corner where he couldn’t be seen, in case the thug was still around. His head hurt! He clutched at it and felt the dried blood crusting on his scalp.

  He tried to slide, but the pain in his ribs made him gasp. There was a throbbing in his chest. He’d had a good one done on him this time.

  The bastard would’ve enjoyed it too.

  The goon.

  Oh, he knew the prick all right. He’d had more visits from him than he’d had from his own mother in recent years. Paddy hired him to do all the dirty work, scare the debtors.

  Slowly he crawled to the kitchen and, doing his best to ignore the pain, tried to stand.

  One hand, two hands, rested on the cushion of the chair just as the dogs set up another loud round of barking. He froze, fearful the thug might be lurking in the shadows, waiting for another round at him.

  Without warning he felt more warm liquid soaking into his jeans and he cursed everyone he knew, especially Paddy’s henchman. He stood silent and still until the dogs had settled then shuffled across to the kitchen.

  Feeling around in the cupboard he found his prescription-only painkillers and popped out two pills. He reached for a beer from the fridge then swallowed them down in one gulp.

  He stood by the fridge and drank the rest of the beer, waiting for the painkillers to kick in, his head swimming and every part of him throbbing. It took another two beers before he felt able to make his way to the bathroom, where he tried to strip off his urine-soaked jeans.

  His head spun as he felt a sharp jab of pain. He shut his eyes, took a deep breath and launched himself into the shower. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, but the water had gone from steaming hot to lukewarm by the time he dragged himself out.

  The bruising on his face had begun to swell and when he looked in the mirror his right eye had almost closed over. It would be a while before he could be seen in public again for there was no way he could give a logical explanation for the bruises on his face.

  His bed was waiting and as he crawled into it, hoping that oblivion would overtake him, he wondered how he could have been so stupid as to rack up such a huge debt with a very dangerous man.

  It was only then that he let himself think about Ray; the tears of self-pity started to fall. It wasn’t his fault. If the horse had come in at Morphettville, he would have doubled his money and been able to pay Paddy. Then again, if the footy team he’d had a flutter on two weeks before had won, it would have been the same result. But both times, he’d lost large amounts of money.

  He would have to make some visits of his own as soon as he was able, he decided. It was the only way out.

  Chapter 32

  Matt leaned on the horn, but the sheep refused to move. He was frustrated and annoyed. For what seemed like hours he’d been running around, yelling and waving his arms, trying to get the ewes through the gate. Finally, in desperation, he’d started beeping the horn.

  Beep, beep!

  ‘Get hold of ’em, Jasper.’

  The dog ran from side to side, barking, but still the sheep just stood there.

  Beep, beep!

  Gradually Matt became aware that the beeping wasn’t a horn - it was his mobile phone.

  Beep, beep!

  He fumbled for it on the floor beside his bed.

  By the time he’d found it, all he saw was a missed call from a mobile number he didn’t recognise. He let out an annoyed grunt. Probably a wrong number at this time of night. Two weeks ago the same thing had happened, and it had turned out to be drunk kids trying to ring one of their friends.

  He lay back on his bed and lifted his arm to glance at the watch Anna had given him for their last wedding anniversary. The eerie green glow of the hands showed him it was 4.30 am.

  Matt groaned and shut his eyes as the wind blew a heavy shower of rain against the tin roof. Rolling over, he tried to get comfortable, doubting he would sleep again – the alarm was set for 5.30 anyway.

  The drive was taking him to Port Augusta today. The trailers were loaded full of dog food, chemicals and animal husbandry drenches, the truck refueled and ready to go. His stomach clenched at the thought of carrying things he could use on a farm. He was thinking of the farm more than ever these days; he had Jimmy to blame for that.

  Matt and Jimmy had eaten dinner together the previous evening, as they had done once a week since his late-night visit to Jimmy’s house four weeks ago.

  Jimmy had been encouraging him to try to get back on the land, for it was obvious that farming was Matt’s passion.

  ‘No way, Jimmy,’ Matt had told the older man last night. ‘That part of my life is over. Oh, I’m hell-bent on finding out who stole my fertiliser, but I won’t ever be a farmer again. I wouldn’t be able to afford to buy land anyway.’ He wouldn’t admit out loud that the thought of failing was the main reason.

  ‘I’m serious, lad.’ Jimmy waved his hand in the air. ‘Look around. What do you see? Lots of trucks, trailers and a good solid business. If I’d given up and focused on the wrongs done to me in the past instead of taking positive action for the future, I wouldn’t have had the ability to start again.

  ‘Matt, I’m not perfect, that I can tell you, and you already know I’ve been through something similar. I wasn’t well when I first came back from ’Nam. I had lots of issues to work through. But when I did start to see things clearly again, I knew I had to get on with life or spend the rest of it wallowing in self-pity. So I started my business and had a few good years. Then it went guts up and I had to make a fresh start. It was bloody hard, but I did it for my nephew.

  ‘You see I’d made a promise to the boy, many years before. I’d told him we’d go into business together. That promise meant everything to him, though probably not as much to me - but I’d given my word, I had to keep it - even when things started to go down the gurgler. If I’d let all of my thoughts and anger consume me the way you have, I wouldn’t have been able to see a clear path forward.

  ‘I would bet you made the same sort of promise to your family – to Anna and Ella - that I did to my nephew: that you wouldn’t let them down; that you wouldn’t let yourself down.’

  They depend on me.

  ‘It’s a bit different, Jimmy,’ Matt said, not looking up from the table. ‘I didn’t have the chance to downsize like you did. I just had everything taken away, there weren’t any second chances.’

  ‘But lad, there are, don’t you see?’ Jimmy leaned forward eagerly.‘Let your mind out for a wander. Use this truck driving as your second chance. Put money aside, save enough to put a deposit on a lease farm and go f
rom there. You don’t have to buy straight away. Ease back into it slowly.You’ll be happier, your family will be happier and you’ll be able to keep your promises.

  ‘Then will be the time to go looking for who took your fertiliser. When you and your family are settled again.’

  ‘I don’t have a family anymore,’ Matt mumbled.

  ‘You do, me boy, you never lose your family, no matter where they are or what they are doing. That I know first hand.You? Well you’re just too stubborn to see it.’

  After leaving Jimmy’s place Matt had had a desperate urge to talk to Anna - an urge he hadn’t felt for some time. He rang her number.

  ‘Hello?’

  Suddenly tongue-tied, he couldn’t think of what to say.

  ‘Hello?’ Anna’s voice was wary now.

  Matt opened his mouth, but no words came out. Then he hit the disconnect button.

  ***

  Matt must have dozed off again because he awoke with a start as his phone beeped with a message.

  The phone was on his bed this time, near his hand. He felt blindly for it and hit a button so he could listen to the voicemail.What he heard brought him to instant alertness.

  ‘Look at me,’ yelled a hoarse voice. ‘Look at me! Are you happy to let them do this, when all you have to do is give me the money and they’ll go away? They murdered Ray, you know. Murdered him!’

  Someone else said, ‘I’m not doing this again. We’re hurting people.’ The voice was muffled and Matt could only make out a few words.

  ‘You are a bastard.’ It was the first man again, his tone low and menacing. ‘You’ll let them kill me then? When it’s your fault I’ve ended up like this?’

  ‘This isn’t my fault. I’ve redeemed myself many times over. It’s yours now. I’ve given you enough.’

  The phone crackled and when it cleared Matt heard the second man say, ‘- the last time. After this you’re on your own. Don’t come back here ever again.’

  A beep signalled the end of the message.

  Matt sat up in bed and listened to it again. He didn’t know either of the voices and he certainly didn’t know the phone number. All he could think was someone had accidentally dialled his number while their phone was in their pocket. But then if he didn’t recognise the voices or the number, how the hell did they know his?

  He thought about ringing back but decided against it. They were talking pretty scary stuff and he didn’t want to be involved.

  Should he ring the police? he wondered. No, they’d probably think it was a prank. The only clear voice was the man who sounded angry . . . Or was it afraid? The other man could barely be heard and Matt wondered if he had imagined what the man was saying.

  He played it again, trying to listen for background noises or anything that might sound like something he recognised.

  Nothing. Or was there something? He listened to the message once more, and this time he had a vague unsettling feeling that there was something familiar about a voice or noise. But maybe that was a result of listening to it four times.

  Sighing, he switched on the bedside light and threw back the covers.

  The rain droplets on the window sparkled in the light of the streetlamp, and when he peered outside he could see white clouds scurrying across the sky like ghosts chasing each other.

  Matt shivered, a sense of trepidation in his stomach as he thought about the phone call. He wondered about the voices, who they belonged to and what trouble they were mixed up in.

  Someone wanted to kill one of them and he’d said another man had already been murdered.

  He looked up at the sky again as the clouds parted to reveal a pale quarter moon. It would be a perfect night for a crime.

  Chapter 33

  When Matt’s phone rang again unexpectedly, he looked warily at the screen, hoping it was a number he knew. Then he nodded, relieved.

  ‘G’day, Sam,’ he answered as he sipped his early morning coffee.

  ‘How are you, Matt?’ Sam asked.

  Matt toyed with the idea of mentioning the weird phone call then rejected it. He was sure, or at least he hoped, that it was kids playing a joke or something similar.

  ‘All good here, mate. Just about to jump in the truck and head to Port Augusta.’ Matt waited, he could tell by Sam’s tone there was something wrong, but he didn’t want to pre-empt what that might be. ‘What are you up to today?’

  ‘I’m heading to the police station. Just on my way there now.’

  ‘Okay,’ Matt said slowly. Waiting.

  ‘We’ve been done over just like you. They took my motorbike, all the fungicide chemical I bought and a heap of tools that I had sitting on the bench. The angle grinder and drill. That sort of stuff.’

  ‘Bloody hell.’ Matt almost dropped the phone. Why he thought it would never happen to Sam and Kate, he didn’t know, but it had never crossed his mind that it would happen to someone he was close to. ‘Shit, mate, I’m really sorry to hear that. Did you see anything?’

  ‘I saw the tail-lights. I think whoever it was had a ute and trailer, but I’m only guessing. It was only luck Kate was outside. By the time she yelled and I got there, they had driven off.’

  ‘Sam, I wish I could say something that will help, but I know there isn’t anything to say. I hope the cops take you a bit more seriously when you report it than they did me.’

  ‘Well, I’m going to tell them about you, if that’s okay?’

  ‘No worries, if you think it will make a difference. I’d like it if someone took a look at all of my notes. I’m sure they’d be interested in it if they saw them all together, not scattered over a large area like the thefts are at the moment.’

  ‘Well, I’ll let you know how I go. Anyway, I’ve just pulled up, so I’d better head in. I’ll give you a ring later on, eh?’

  ‘Good luck. I’ll be interested to hear how you get on.’

  Matt ignored his cooling coffee as he pulled out his notebook to record this latest theft. He shook his head as he re-read the notes. He couldn’t understand why the police hadn’t picked up that it was happening all over the mid-north. On a whim, Matt turned to a fresh page and wrote down five words: depot theft, weird phone call. He also wrote down the dates. Maybe there was something else happening around him.

  ‘Anyway,’ he thought, ‘no point in thinking about it now. I’ve got deliveries to make.’ As he pulled the door shut he hoped that Sam would be able to do something for them both and he felt a little ray of hope.

  Five hours into his journey, Matt looked over at Shane, who had been an unexpected passenger. He had appeared just as Matt was pulling out of the depot and asked to come with him.

  Shane’s bloodshot eyes and tousled hair suggested he’d had a hard night or perhaps an argument with Belinda, so Matt had nodded but asked no questions. His gaze travelled past Shane to the view out the passenger window and he felt the familiar sting of regret and sadness.

  In the paddock to his left, a ute was driving slowly around a mob of Angus cows, calves running at their mothers’ feet. A blue heeler was leaning over the edge of the ute’s tray waiting for an instruction from his owner, his tongue hanging out, mouth stretched in a smile. Even inside the cab Matt could almost smell the beautiful earthy scent of the cattle as they walked towards the yards.

  ‘Do you still miss it? Even after all this time?’ Shane asked unexpectedly.

  ‘Oh yeah. There’s nothing quite like being your own boss.’ Matt returned his gaze to the road, his hands gripping the wheel.

  The cattle had passed and now there were wide open paddocks of newly germinated wheat and barley. The plants were being buffeted strongly by the wind.

  ‘Being your own boss, is that the main thing?’

  Matt was quiet for a while, trying to organise the words in his head. How could he explain what he felt to someone who seemed to have everything? He had started with nothing but a dream; a dream of having his own land – a vision of lush green pastures, rolling hills and fat stock, g
razing. Good yielding crops and snow-white fleeces. And he had worked tirelessly until finally he had enough money to put down a deposit on some land.

  He hadn’t let the days of endless sun, clear blue skies and dust storms so bad he could barely see his hand in front of his face deter him but, if he was honest, the reality hadn’t always matched the dream. Reality had been bare, red paddocks, starving sheep and lack of water. For the last part of his farming life, anyway.

  The day he had to drag over fifty sheep out of a muddy dam, he had almost faulted in his vision. The next day, as he’d fed hay to the starving ewes he’d kept – his core stock – he’d closed his eyes as they had tripped over each other in their haste to get to the feed.They’d left their lambs behind, the older and stronger ones trying to keep up with their mothers, the younger ones just running in confusion, forever mis-mothered and their death, nothing surer.

  He had wondered at times if it was all worth it. And now, with the breakup of his marriage and the end of his dream, he continued to wonder. Life as a single bloke driving trucks, seeing his daughter on the weekend would be much easier. But something kept drawing him back to the land.The open spaces, the feeling of the sun on his skin, the life he knew and loved.

  And Anna. She was part of that dream and landscape.

  In the end, he couldn’t work out what to say to Shane, so he just said, ‘No, it’s everything about it,’ and reached forward to turn up Rob Thomas singing ‘Mockingbird’. The chorus was about him, he was sure. Not meant for farming, not meant for Anna, not meant for Ella, not meant for this life.

  That summed up everything.

  Three days later he headed out to Kate and Sam’s place for dinner. He was thankful that Sam had stuck by him through this whole mess, even when Matt had been rude and pushed him away. Sam had already told him they wouldn’t be taking sides between Anna and him. ‘We are friends with you both and that’s the way it will stay,’ Sam had said firmly when he’d rung to invite him for dinner.