Purple Roads

by Fleur McDonald

  ‘I’d love a cup of tea, if you have any.’

  ‘Tea I can do. Make yourself comfortable.’ Jimmy gestured to the other chair and limped over to the bench to turn on the kettle as Matt sunk wearily into the seat.

  He rubbed his hands over his face and felt a profound tiredness come over him. He didn’t think he could speak.

  Jimmy passed him a cup and sat heavily in his chair. They were silent for a few minutes, then Jimmy asked, ‘You all right, Matt? What can I do to help?’

  Matt was embarrassed at the sudden onset of tears, but within a moment of Jimmy’s quiet question his eyes had felt the familiar sensation of heat. He sat with his hands over his face for a moment and tried to gather himself.

  ‘Sorry,’ he muttered, mortified.

  He felt a hand on his shoulder. ‘It’s all right, mate. I’ll do what I can to help.’

  ‘Anna and I’ve split up,’ Matt choked out. ‘I think I’ve wrecked everything.’

  Jimmy said nothing.

  ‘A while ago, I had everything I ever wanted: a farm, a wife and a baby. Now I’ve got nothing. I stuffed it all up. I know the truck fire wasn’t avoidable; sometimes these things happen, but it was me who had told Anna not to pay the insurance. Me!’ He pointed to his chest then got up and paced the small kitchen. ‘Losing the farm just tipped me over the edge. It was everything to me. I didn’t think anyone could feel the way I did. After all, it was my dream. No one else’s. I wouldn’t talk to Anna about it, I shut her out. I didn’t want her sympathy or understanding because it was me who buggered it. I was the one who didn’t manage the finances properly when it was dry. It was me who made the decisions, me who left the fertiliser in the paddock and the gate unlocked. Maybe I couldn’t have stopped it.’ He clenched his fists. ‘But she just seemed to move on. It was like she didn’t care that we’d lost the farm. She was just so wrapped up in Ella it was almost like she didn’t need me at all anymore - and I didn’t want to need her. I don’t know, I’ve just buggered everything.’

  ‘No, Matt,’ Jimmy said gently. ‘You haven’t. Do you really think you are so powerful that you could bring down so many lives? Of course not! There are always second chances. You need to get your head sorted out and then go and talk to Anna. Tell her everything you’ve just told me. She’ll understand. I’ve been told women deal with things differently to us blokes, that’s all. She’s probably still missing the farm, but wanting to make life the best she can for Ella.

  ‘And you can’t blame yourself for the way the farm was sold. The dry times were bleeding everyone, lad, and you just didn’t have enough behind you to see you through. There’s no shame in that. Unfortunately sometimes hard work just isn’t enough.’

  Matt talked on as if he hadn’t heard Jimmy’s words. ‘I keep thinking if only the fertiliser hadn’t been stolen, I could have made a real go of it that year. All the rain came at the right time and anyone who put a crop in killed the pig. There was grain everywhere that year. Except from my farm.

  ‘I understand I’ve got to try and make another life now, but if I could just find out who did this to me there’d be some justice done. Oh, Anna likes to talk about “opportunistic crime” but there’s more to it than that. How did they know the fertiliser was going to be in that spot that night? Nobody drives around with an empty truck hoping to steal some fertiliser. Somebody knew it was going to be there. Can you understand, Jimmy, why I need to know who and why?’

  ‘Ah,’ Jimmy said. ‘So that’s how it happened. I knew you’d been sold up but was never really aware of the circumstances.

  ‘Oh, Matt, I’m sorry. Of course I can understand you needing answers - but I also know there aren’t always answers for the questions you need to ask.

  ‘I lost my business back in the eighties. Stock market crash and all that. I stewed on it for years, wondering how I’d been so stupid as to take out contracts with people who wouldn’t pay the bills I sent. It never did me any good. It didn’t change the fact that my customers weren’t paying bills. I had to sell the majority of my business. I couldn’t bring it back.’

  ‘But surely somebody has to know something,’ Matt argued. ‘I mean, a farmer had to buy the fertiliser. It’s no good to anyone else. Somebody somewhere knows they bought it on the cheap, so there has to be a story behind it.’

  ‘Of course, you’re right.’ Jimmy paused. ‘But, mate, the theft isn’t your fault. I can only tell you one thing,’ Jimmy pointed his finger to reiterate his point, ‘you can do nothing about the theft.’

  He was silent for a moment then Jimmy asked, ‘Matt, where are you staying?’

  Matt sighed. ‘I’ve just been camping in the back of my ute over at the satellite depot. I know I should have asked, but . . .’

  Jimmy held up his hand. ‘There’s no need to apologise. Anyway, I’ve got a better idea. Sometime over the weekend of Joel and Janey’s wedding, the depot got broken into. I’ve been thinking about increasing the security - and having you there would be a great deterrent. You could stay in the shed; there’s a loft that’s decked out with a bed and a gas cooker and a few other odds and ends. I stayed there myself when I first started having financial problems. It’s not flash, but it’s warm and dry.’

  ‘Burgled? You’re joking? That’s terrible.’

  ‘They didn’t take too much, just a few cartons of beer. I think we got off lightly.’

  ‘It’s a wonder I didn’t hear anything. Wish I had!’

  Jimmy grinned. ‘I wish you had too, lad! Anyway, it’s over with now. The police have been, insurance company notified and as far as I’m concerned it’s finished. However, having you there would mean there were lights on most nights – unless you’re away, obviously – and that might just stop anyone else who is thinking about having a crack at it.’

  ‘It might too.’ Matt nodded. ‘That would be great, Jimmy. I’d appreciate it.’

  ‘You’ll need to try to get somewhere a bit more comfortable as soon as you get back on your feet, though,’ Jimmy advised. ‘Somewhere your little girl can visit. You don’t want to miss out on too much of her life.

  ‘And you should think about going and talking to that wife of yours, too. I reckon she’d listen.’

  Matt swallowed hard. Maybe Jimmy was right.

  Chapter 30

  Kate bounced in and grabbed a giggling Ella under her arms and threw her into the air.

  ‘It’s so bloody cold our water pipes froze this morning,’ she announced.

  ‘I know! Ours didn’t freeze completely but the pipes did a fair bit of clanking and banging. I don’t think they really wanted to work at all.’ Anna grinned at her friend. It was great to see her. ‘Did you see the frost on the lawn?’

  ‘I saw footprints!’ Kate said. ‘Have you been out making footprints like a snowman, Ella?’

  Ella nodded solemnly. ‘Very cold and white,’ she declared.

  The women laughed.

  ‘Have you finished seeding yet? Won’t be long and you’ll be lamb marking,’Anna commented, moving to put the kettle on. She had a sudden vision of their farm: the wooden sheep yards, the ewes drafted off into a pen by themselves, bellowing for their lambs. In her mind’s eye she saw lambs running up and down the fence, not understanding why they couldn’t reach their mums when they could see them through the rails. At the slightest noise they’d take fright and move as one, like a tidal wave of lambs, until they hit the other fence and couldn’t go any further.

  She remembered as the lambs were tipped from the cradle, one by one, each flicking its head at the unfamiliar weight of the tag in its ear, dashing around, bleating madly for its mum. Within minutes the tail would be wagging madly as it suckled from her udder.

  ‘Your mum isn’t listening, Ella,’ Kate said in a singsong voice. ‘She’s not listening to either of us!’

  ‘Yes, I am,’ said Anna, shaking away the images. ‘I was just thinking about lamb marking at home.’ She smiled wistfully. ‘Seems like such a long time ago. I miss i
t! The freedom of it all, the openness. Everything we worked for.’ She sighed. ‘Oh, Kate, so much has changed.’

  ‘Yes, well, it has - but not your hair. When was the last time you had a haircut? It looks dreadful. I’ve booked you in for a cut and colour tomorrow. Grandma Laura is going to have you -’ she tapped Ella on the nose ‘- and I’m taking or dragging you, whichever is easiest, to Clare for the day. Don’t bother arguing.’

  Anna didn’t. She even smiled.

  * * *

  The next day, when Kate pulled into the driveway, Anna grabbed her handbag, kissed Ella goodbye, thanked Laura again and hurried out to the car.

  ‘Hi!’ she said cheerily, then noticed the expression on her friend’s face. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘We had someone at our sheds last night.’

  Anna looked at her, puzzled. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘They were in our sheds, taking things.’

  ‘Taking things as in . . . stealing?’

  Kate exhaled.‘Yep.The bastards have taken Sam’s motorbike, some fungicide chemical he had just bought in Clare and a heap of tools. It’s all gone.’

  ‘When? How? Did you see them? Are you sure?’

  ‘Oh yeah. I’m sure,’ she said grimly. Kate angrily shoved the car into reverse and backed out of the driveway. Then, as they drove out of town, she recounted the events of the night before. ‘We’d just finished tea and I’d let Zoom out for his nightly loo stop. He went right off, yapping like you wouldn’t believe! Then he took off around the side of the house. All the work dogs started carrying on, so I thought he was around at the kennels stirring them up.

  ‘I walked around there to get him, but then I heard him barking down near the creek - he must have taken off chasing a rabbit or a fox or something.

  ‘We had ewes and lambs in the yards ready for marking today, and with all of their bleating I didn’t work out what the noise was at first. But then it was as if my brain kicked in and I knew something weird was happening - it was a vehicle leaving the shed. They didn’t have their lights on until they headed down the drive. I yelled for Sam, who came running. He saw some tail-lights and reckons it was a trailer towed by a ute.’ She growled. ‘Do you know how much this pisses me off?’

  Anna smiled wryly.‘Actually, I do.’

  ‘Of course you do. Sorry.’

  There was silence for a while as they both stared out at the countryside. The green hills were covered in fat stock, calves running and bucking while their mums grazed peacefully nearby. Tall, waving barley crops and spindly, prickly canola had flourished during this wet year and Anna was pleased the farmers who had managed to survive the dry times were finally being rewarded.

  All or nothing. One season your heart would be broken and the next it would soar as high as the clouds bringing the rain. She didn’t like it but she understood it was the way of life on the land.

  ‘I guess Sam has gone to the police?’

  ‘Yeah, he was going this morning - but we know what they’ll say, don’t we?’

  They looked at each other and chorused, ‘It will be a bit hard to investigate. Here’s your report number for the insurance,’ then burst into laughter.

  ‘Bloody hell, look at us,’ said Kate. ‘How cynical are we?’

  ‘Oh, Kate, I hope they don’t. I hope the police can be helpful if nothing else.’ Anna knew that although she seemed to be coping well, Kate would be feeling violated, perhaps even vulnerable. Well, in time she would feel that way. At the moment she was probably still in denial.

  Of all the feelings vulnerability had been the hardest for Anna to deal with at the beginning. She’d had trouble sleeping at night, worried that if someone could steal from their farm, what was to stop the thief from coming into her house?

  She hadn’t spoken of her fears to anyone, though. Matt had enough to worry about and, besides, her mum had often told her that the mother and wife was the glue of the family. If she came unstuck the whole family did. So Anna had done her best to repress her fear and anxiety. But her family had come unstuck anyway . . .

  ‘Are you scared?’ she asked Kate now.

  Kate tilted her head to the side.

  ‘You know, I might be in a few days, but at the moment I’m just angry and maybe a bit incredulous that something like this could happen. I shouldn’t be, though, should I? I mean, it happened to my best friend, didn’t it?’

  When they reached the hairdresser’s Anna leaned across to hug her friend. ‘I can’t do much to help, but I can honestly say I know how you feel.’

  ‘I know, I know. What a bugger of a thing to happen, hey?’ Kate pulled back and fingered Anna’s hair.‘Now we need to work out what we’re going to do with your hair. It needs a good trim and maybe some layers. And I reckon we need to get some gloss into that strawberry-blonde hair of yours. Maybe some copper highlights would look good.’

  ‘Do I get a say?’

  ‘Nope.’

  Anna lay back with her head in the basin as the hairdresser massaged her scalp. Luxury! She closed her eyes and thought of nothing else except how good it felt. She was almost asleep when a sharp voice broke through her reverie.

  ‘Oh, I’m sure Jenny is just talking out of her arse. She wouldn’t know if it was on fire. But guess what? I’ve just heard there’s been a theft over at Sam and Kate Long’s place at Spalding.They had a motorbike and some chemicals stolen last night.Tools as well.’

  Anna frowned and felt annoyed. ‘Bloody old gossips,’ she thought. ‘They can’t wait to pass on the news.’ Flicking one eye open, she tried to see who was talking. Hmph, that’d be right - old Mrs Harby from a farm midway between Spalding and Clare. She thought she knew everything, when she didn’t really know anything at all.

  ‘You can sit up,’ the hairdresser said to Anna. For a moment she couldn’t hear anything as the hairdresser rubbed her head with a towel.

  Then a voice said, ‘Well with the money those Longs have got they’ll hardly notice the loss.’

  Anna narrowed her eyes. ‘Bet you wouldn’t think that if it happened to you, old busy body!’ she thought, sitting there fuming as another woman added, ‘Surely the police should be able to track down whoever it was.’

  ‘Oh, I doubt it,’ Mrs Harby said knowledgeably. ‘Matt Butler didn’t get anywhere when his fertiliser was stolen last year and neither did the bloke from Burra who had chemicals taken.’

  ‘Oh, I remember hearing about that. Apparently Matt used to drive around the countryside at night searching for the thief. It’s almost romantic in a way, isn’t it?’ the speaker said dreamily. ‘Young man trying to avenge the loss of his dreams who finds . . . Well, girls? What did he find? I heard he and Anna split up.’

  Anna snorted as she recognised the voice: Helen Gubbins, that old windbag. Oh how she would like to punch her lights out about now. ‘Anyway, I must be off,’ Mrs Harby said, standing up and walking over to the counter to pay. ‘I’ve got to pick up some chemical for Ross - he managed to get some from down south at cost price. He’s good at sniffing out a bargain, my Ross is.’

  ‘Are you sure it hasn’t been stolen?’ one of the other women joked.

  ‘Of course I am, dear. The farmer has sold his farm and is offloading his excess stock. Bye now!’

  Anna had been seething under the towel, but finally the hairdresser lifted it away and led her to a chair in front of the mirror. It was Helen who saw her first and Anna watched with pleasure as the other woman’s eyes widened in recognition. As the other women followed Helen’s gaze the salon fell quiet.

  Let that be a lesson to the gossipy old bags! Anna thought.

  Chapter 31

  Bang, bang, bang!

  The man started from his nap in front of the fire at the sound of someone pounding on the front door. With a sense of foreboding, he glanced at the clock above the fireplace.

  Nine o’clock. A bit late for visitors.

  He sat on the edge of the chair for a moment, toying with the idea of not answering
the door, then realised he’d only be putting off the inevitable. He might as well get it over and done with.

  Levering himself up he walked to the door just as the pounding sounded again. The hand was so strong against the wood he could see the door vibrate with each hit.

  Bang, bang, bang!

  He opened the door a crack and tried to peer into the darkness. Before he knew what was happening, the door flew open, catching him on the forehead. He felt the heel of a palm against his chest, pushing him back into the room. Stumbling backwards, he overbalanced and came crashing to the floor.

  It was those visitors.

  In a heartbeat a large man was straddling his chest, breathing beery fumes into his face and making it difficult to breathe.

  ‘Know who I am, matey?’ the visitor asked in a sarcastic voice. ‘Think you prob’ly do.’

  The man on the floor struggled to get away, knowing it was useless.

  The big man’s laugh was harsh.

  ‘Paddy is lookin’ for his money and he’s gettin’ a little bit annoyed it hasn’t arrived yet. Got any answers for him, you lowlife?’

  ‘I’m trying, for God’s sake, I’m trying.’ He lifted his head slightly to emphasise his words, but the man slammed it back into the ground.

  His vision blurred with the pain, and he tasted blood from where he’d bitten his tongue.

  ‘Settle down, boyo, and listen to me. Listen real good. If Paddy’s money isn’t in his hand by the end of this week, you mightn’t like the next visit I make. You know why?’

  Silence.

  ‘Well I’m thinking you won’t want to end up like my last client - Ray. Want to know what happened to him? Actually, he was a mate of yours, wasn’t he? Poor Ray!’ He heaved a mock sigh.‘But I’m sure you’re more interested in what I’m gonna to do to you. Well I might bring a big ol’ forty-four-gallon drum with me. Ever got into one of them? They’re pretty dark and small. Hope you’re not claustrophobic. Still, probably won’t matter if you are. The cement will set pretty quick. You won’t be goin’ anywhere. Imagine . . .’