Unclaimed Regrets

by Stacy M Wray

  I’ve got all the sacks gathered on my kitchen counter, and I’m in the process of putting things away when I hear, “Is this the right house? Because the man I’m suppose to be meeting would never have stopped at the grocery store.”

  I turn to the sound of the most heavenly voice and smile at her. In two strides I’m standing in front of her and say, “Come here, you,” and take her in my arms, kissing her in a way that she’s not bound to forget anytime soon.

  I don’t want it to stop, but Addie pulls back and says, “Let me help you put things away.” And just like that, we’re doing the simplest of tasks, but it means the world to me having her beside me. We don’t say a word; just exchange looks and subtle touches, revving up the heat that’s gathered in this kitchen.

  The look she’s giving me makes me cave, and I pick her up and she wraps her legs around me as I carry her into the bedroom. “I hope you can deliver what that look just promised, Snowflake,” I tell her as I place her on the bed.

  Her eyes are filled with lust as she answers, “And then some.”

  I stand there and gaze at her, my breaths coming in short pants. “Lose the clothes, Addie,” I tell her as I remove my shirt, then my pants. She just grins, taking in the show that’s taking place in front of her. I stop. “Adelyn! Lose. The. Clothes. Now.”

  She won’t admit it, but I know it turns her on when I get bossy in the bedroom. Her eyes just confirmed it and she’s grabbing for the buttons on her shirt. I help her by undoing the button on her jeans and sliding down the zipper, our eyes never leaving each other.

  After her shirt is off, she works on her bra and throws it to the side of the bed. I lean her back and work her jeans off of her, taking her panties with them. I love seeing her completely naked with nothing on except the silver snowflake that’s draped around that exquisite neck of hers.

  She scoots up the bed and I follow her, hovering above her, kissing her on the spot of her neck that always makes her shiver.

  Hooking her thumbs into the tops of my underwear, she begins working them down but can only get them so far. I stop kissing her and finish what she started, leaving no barriers between us. “You up for this, Addie? Because I’ve been thinking of nothing else all day.”

  “Well, it certainly looks like one of us is,” she says, smirking. “But, yes, I’m so up for this.”

  I kiss her passionately, while my hand travels between her legs. I let out a satisfied moan when I find her more than ready for me. Lining up at her entrance, I slowly start to fill her. “Oh, God, Trey,” she says on my lips.

  I’m trying to take this slow, knowing we have all the time in the world right now. It’s not going to be easy with this one, already begging for me to move faster. But then again, she’s never been easy and that’s just one of the things I love about her.

  I give her what she wants though. She usually gets her way.

  *****

  Waking up in the morning with her legs wrapped around mine is the best feeling, and I smile to myself before I even open my eyes. We hardly got any sleep last night, only leaving bed to make pancakes late at night. Addie developed a craving since she remembered she put the mix and the syrup in the cupboard earlier. I don’t think I’ve forgotten anything when it comes to this woman. She loves pancakes anytime of the day.

  She begins to stir and turns toward me. Only opening one eye, she says, “Morning.”

  I kiss her on the forehead and ask, “How’d you sleep?”

  “Mmmmm…fantastic,” she says.

  I brush her hair out of her eyes and ask, “What do you want to do today?”

  “Don’t you have to work today?” she asks me.

  “It’s Saturday. Only the finishing crew are going in today,” I tell her.

  A slow smile spreads across her face. “I want to go on a boat ride on the lake before they close for the season.”

  I kiss her gently and slowly, relishing every moment of the first day for the rest of our lives. Then looking into her eyes I say, “That sounds like a perfect day, Snowflake.” I smack her on the ass, saying, “Let’s get a move on. I suggest we share a shower, as not to waste any time.”

  She rolls her eyes and says, “I’m on to you, Mister.”

  *****

  Driving to the docks, I think back to when Addie and I would come here when we were dating. I’m having a hard time believing she’s actually here with me now, but I’m so thankful we’ve found each other again.

  The closer we get to the docks we notice the crowds of people. “What’s going on? Why is it so crowded?” Addie asks.

  I shake my head and say, “I’m not sure but whatever it is, it’s huge. Finding a parking space is going to be hell.” We patiently drive around and then I see the signs, and it dawns on me what this is.

  “You picked a hell of a time to want to ride the tour boat, Snowflake. This is the weekend of the Grand Point North festival.” She’s looking at me like she did something wrong.

  “I didn’t know this would be going on. What is it?”

  “They set up a huge stage in Waterfront Park and bands play all day long and into the night. There are food tents everywhere and art booths…it’s suppose to be really fun.” Her face lights up and she seems quite pleased with herself.

  “Well, that does sound like fun. Will we still be able to take a boat ride?”

  “I don’t see why not. The tricky part will be finding a parking space,” I tell her, as I try not to lose my patience with all the people crossing the street while I’m searching for a spot to park.

  I finally find one in a residential area and we have to walk a ways to the boathouse, but we don’t mind since it’s such a beautiful day. Before we leave the truck, I pull Addie to me and kiss her gently. It dawns on me that I get to kiss her whenever I want, and I know I will never take that for granted.

  Looking up at me, she asks, “What was that for?”

  “Just because I can.” I press my lips to hers once more, this time our tongues meet and it’s not as gentle as the first one. It doesn’t take long before it gets heated, and we have to break the kiss before things get out of hand in the cab of my truck.

  Grabbing our jackets, we start the trek towards the boathouse. I take Addie’s hand in mine and it feels like so many years ago, and I can’t remember feeling this content in such a long time.

  When we get there, I purchase a couple of tickets for the next boat and see that we have some time to kill, so we find a bench on the dock and people watch for a while, taking in the music from the band on stage at the park.

  “This is crazy,” she says. “I’ve never even heard of this festival.”

  “Well, you’ve been living in Connecticut,” I remind her. “And it’s only been around for a few years anyway.”

  “Have you been before?”

  “No, I never have. I was just aware of it. I’ve heard the work crew talk about it.”

  I see a small boy walking along with his parents, eating an ice cream cone. He looks to be about ten or eleven and it instantly makes me think of the baby that Addie and I lost. That child would be ten years old now, and my heart constricts just thinking about it.

  She looks up at me with watery eyes and I know she’s thinking the same thing. “I know, baby. I know.” I hold her tight, kissing the top of her head. It’s so comforting to me knowing that we now have each other to look to for support. I don’t know about her, but I never told anyone about our tragedy.

  Looking at the time on my phone, I say, “Come on, it’s almost time for the next boat.”

  This lifts her spirits and she reminds me of that same Addie that I saw in the office on the first day of school our sophomore year. I smile to myself, thinking that was the one day that our timing was right on.

  Slowly making our way through the crowd, we finally get on the boat and take a seat in the back. I haven’t done this in years and looking around, it’s hard to believe that I get to see this view every day of my life.

  Hea
ding out on our tour, the music from the band fades and the sea of people get smaller and smaller, while the Adirondack Mountains make their majestic presence known. “Isn’t it so beautiful, Trey?”

  “It sure is. Man, we couldn’t have picked a more beautiful day to do this. Thanks for thinking of it,” I tell her.

  “You’re welcome,” she replies, smugly.

  The trees that border the lake are barely starting to reveal their autumn colors and the chill in the air has us putting our jackets on. I pull Addie closer to me, hoping to keep her warm.

  I can’t imagine living anywhere else, and I think back to the day that my parents told Luke and I that we would be moving across the states to Vermont. We were crushed and were not looking forward to it at all. It’s funny how hindsight works since that ended up being the best thing that ever happened to me.

  “We need to do this all the time next year when the boat rides open again after winter. I could spend all day out here,” she says, quietly.

  “Maybe we can get another one in before they close this year,” I tell her.

  “Mmm…I’d like that.”

  After our boat ride, we take the path through the park and along the lake, making our way across the street to Battery Park, a historical park filled with sculptures of Civil War veterans and plaques explaining the history.

  Stopping at a booth to get some corn dogs, we eat them while making our way back to the truck, the band’s music floating through the air.

  “Is there anything else you’d like to do? Maybe do some shopping on Church Street?” I ask her.

  She thinks about this for a minute and says, “As much fun as I’ve had today, I think I’ve had enough of the crowd.”

  “Yeah, I think you’re right. I’m thinking of other things that only involve two people,” I tell her.

  She swats at me, saying, “You’re insatiable, you know that?”

  I wink at her, knowing she shares my same thoughts.

  On the short drive back to the cabin, Addie yawns, saying, “How about a nap when we get home? We didn’t get much sleep last night.”

  “That’s a great idea. You’ll do anything to get me in bed, won’t you?”

  She laughs and says, “Nap first, then fun.”

  I shrug, telling her, “I can live with those demands.”

  *****

  After a relaxing rest of the weekend, most of it spent in bed, Monday finds us having to get into a routine. I need to get to the worksite since we are so close to handing over the keys to the new owners.

  Addie says she needs to get some work done for a couple of book covers, telling me she will relish the peace and quiet while I’m gone.

  My crew will just have enough time, after completing our current project, to get our next house all framed in before the winter gets here. The next house is a much more modest one and shouldn’t take us as long to complete. I’ve got quite a large crew and we work like a well-oiled machine.

  After spending most of my morning in the trailer going over the details for our next house, I join Jake for lunch to discuss the schedule. When our lunch break is about over, Jake studies me and says, “You seem much more relaxed. It suits you.”

  “I had a relaxing weekend,” I tell him. I contemplate telling him more. “Addie moved in with me. I know I don’t talk about my personal life much, but we were high school sweethearts and things didn’t work out after she went away to college. I’d never gotten over her, and to be reconnected after all of these years is something I’ve only dreamed of. So, yeah, life is pretty damn good right now.”

  He grins and says, “I’m happy for you, man. You deserve it.”

  “Thanks,” I tell him, getting up and gathering my trash. “Time to get back to work.”

  “Right,” he says, and heads inside.

  *****

  On my way home, my cell phone rings. Hoping it’s Addie, I look at the screen and see it’s my mom.

  “Hey, Mom. What’s up?”

  “Hi, honey. I just wanted to tell you that we’re having a family dinner this Sunday for Luke’s birthday. Can you make it?” she asks in a cheerful voice.

  “Sure, we can be there,” I tell her, smiling into my phone.

  “We?” I can hear the hopefulness in her voice.

  “Yes, we. Addie moved in over the weekend.” My whole family’s been waiting for us to get our shit together just as long as her family has.

  “Oh, Trey, that’s so wonderful. It will be so nice to have her around the table again. I couldn’t be happier for you.” I knew she would welcome the news.

  “Okay, then it’s set. We’ll get there late afternoon if that’s okay.”

  “That’s perfect. Luke will be thrilled. See you both Sunday.”

  We end the call and my heart swells, knowing Addie will be there when I get home.

  I park my truck beside her car and go in to find her. When I don’t see her anywhere, I go out back and find her on one of the lounge chairs with her computer in her lap. She looks up at me with complete adoration on her face. “Hey, how was work?” she asks.

  I come up behind her chair and she’s looking up at me with her head tilted back. I take this opportunity to kiss her and then answer, “Work was good. Did you get anything accomplished today?”

  I walk around and sit on the edge of the lounge beside her. “I did,” she tells me. “I completed a cover and am almost finished with another.”

  “Sounds like a productive day. I take it the accommodations suited you then?”

  She nods and says, “How could they not? It’s so peaceful and relaxing out here.”

  Changing the subject, I tell her, “Luke’s birthday is this weekend. Mom wants us to come for dinner Sunday. You game?”

  Her eyes light up and she says, “Absolutely. I’d love to see everyone.”

  “Good, because I already told her we’d be there,” I confess. I lean over and take her face in my hands. “I love the look of you in my chair on my back porch,” I tell her, before kissing her again.

  “I love being here,” she practically whispers.

  These are the moments I was referring to when I said I didn’t want to take any of our time together for granted. All the simple, mundane things we missed out on that we’ll never get back makes me relish just looking at her. I get these thoughts when I watch her in the kitchen, or the way she takes new experiences in, or even sorting through the laundry. I don’t want to ever miss a single second of being with her.

  I take her laptop and place it on the lounge beside me, then gather her in my arms and carry her into the bedroom. “I could get use to this,” she says in my ear, kissing me right beneath it.

  “Oh, you should definitely get use to this, Addie,” I tell her. “We have a hell of a lot of time to make up for.”

  Once again, we spend so much time in between the sheets that we don’t come out of the bedroom until after nine since Addie wants pancakes for dinner again. If this is my new normal, bring it on.

  *****

  We make the drive to Northfield on Sunday a little earlier than planned so we can drop in and see Addie’s parents.

  The greeting I received from Dutch was a relief since I haven’t seen him since Addie had returned to Connecticut. “It’s good to see you, Trey,” he tells me, shaking my hand and slapping me on the back.

  We all sit out on the back porch, knowing our days outside are limited before the chill sets in.

  Addie fills her parents in on our day at the Grand Point North festival and how much she loved being on the tour boat.

  “Your dad and I went to that a couple of years ago. It does bring in quite the crowd. The bands that were playing were for the younger crowd, I’m afraid,” Liz shares.

  Addie seems impressed that they’ve been and Dutch asks me about what I’ve got lined up for work. It’s a nice visit and I’m really thankful I get along so well with her parents, even though we already have such a history.

  I excuse myself to make a phon
e call. I probably should have passed this by Addie first, but I really didn’t want to get into a fight about it unnecessarily, depending on how my phone call pans out.

  It rings four times before she picks up. “Trey?”

  “Hey, Amanda. I’m glad you picked up. I was afraid you wouldn’t.”

  “Well, I almost didn’t. Why are you calling?”

  “I was hoping we could meet and discuss some things – Jackson mainly.”

  There’s a long pause and she finally asks, “Are you in town?”

  “Yeah. Do you think we could meet?”

  She seems to perk up a bit and says, “Yeah, okay. Meet me at the diner.”

  “Okay, when?”

  “I’m on my way.”

  “Oh, okay. I’ll be there shortly.”

  We end the call as Addie comes into the room. “Is everything alright?” she asks, a hint of uneasiness in her voice.

  “Listen, I need to go meet Amanda. I don’t want to be rude, but I’ve got to take care of this while I’m here.”

  The look on her face tells me exactly why I didn’t say anything sooner. “Excuse me? We’re suppose to be at your parents in another hour or so.”

  “And I’ll be back before then.”

  “Why in the hell are you meeting her, Trey?”

  “We’ve got to come to some sort of understanding regarding Jackson. I have no rights to him but he’s been in my life for nine years. I need to patch things up with her so I can still see him. It’s killing me that I’ve been cut off.”

  So many emotions pass across Addie’s face as she tries to understand what I’m trying to do. She’s had to have known this was going to come up sooner or later after our talk at the bridge.

  “I understand about Jackson, Trey. Really – I do. But I hate that she can hang him over your head and make you come running to her like a little puppet.”

  “Give me a little more credit than that, Addie. Jesus!” I’m starting to get irritated. Looking at the clock on the mantel, I tell her, “Look, I need to go. We can discuss this in detail later, but I need to do this. I thought you might be a little more understanding.”