In Search of Satisfaction

by J. California Cooper

  In another proper room, Richard Befoe lay upon a bier. And there was no one in there with him except Phillip his son by his half-sister. The flags on Wall Street and other places in the financial world were at half-mast for Richard and here he lay, a man who had no real children by those from whom he would have wanted children. Children he could have raised, loved and shown to the world from their birth. A man, he was, who had cried himself to sleep sometimes. Whose wife had helped to kill him. A man who had been lied to by some of those nearest and dearest to him. A man who had wanted love. Love. Who had love to give. Would now miss giving it to the son who would want it in his adult years and would have given him love in return. Had Phillip not done so already? A man whose legal wife, in name only, had slapped him even as he lay dying. A man who never rested comfortably in the arms of love, carnal or married. But then … but then, he was loved. Richlene and his son, Phillip, truly loved him. That is far more than some have.

  Satan lay his head in his hand and laughed and laughed and laughed. He looked among those at the funeral and said, though of course, they could not hear, “Look, see, what many of you will have … or not have. What you too will come to.” He laughed at them, but he did not leave. There was too much capacity for evil at this assembly for him to leave. Some of these very men were controllers of great parts of the world, of wars, of poverty, of pain. Many friends of his. He could not leave. He had many suggestions to make to many there who might join forces, businesses. He looked at Carlton standing near his grandmother, solicitously listening for and doing her simplest request. “Ahh, there is such duplicity, such ambition, greed. Not too much backbone, but a good liar nevertheless. Such potential for evil. There was hate there also. Good! The one weakness was that the boy, way in the back of his mind, wanted love. Well. When the time comes, we will see what we will see.”

  Satan looked at Richlene. “She will have so much money of her own now. That should make her interesting. But … she does not know evil from the inside of herself. She does not really hate anyone, not even her mother. She just does not want to be around her. But I can reach her through her love. Ahhhh, that is such a weakness humans have.”

  Satan looked at Emily, sitting close to her mother. He smiled, “That one is going to be someone to deal with! She knows love, though. She has learned through her mother. Well, never mind, she loves money and the power it will bring. Let’s see what happens to the love then!” He turned his ravaging eyes to more positive people with more possibilities.

  carlene had urged the minister to be quick because “no one really feels like standing around the dead for too long. And I am too sad and full of grief to take too much, so … if you will hurry through your text. That is what you call it, isn’t it?”

  Soon the funeral was over and Richard had been laid to rest. Carlene noticed Richard’s attorney standing over the gravesite, shaking his head sadly. “Hmmmm, I didn’t know he cared. Or that he was such a good actor!” Then she was lifted into her carriage and taken to her house.

  Carlene was still being courted or honored by all the rich men of opportunity. Everyone planned to stay for the supper. They had heard, somehow, of the cook. The cook was Hosanna and the food was going to be marvelous. The smells wafted even to the outside of the Befoe house. Hosanna had several helpers and had even brought her sister Lovey in the wagon to help and make some small money for herself, and to learn, of course.

  Arabella was there now; many gentlemen admired her and showed it. Carlene said nothing. When Sally came near to offer a drink to the gentlemen surrounding Carlene, she was wearing the locket that had belonged to her mother. Carlene saw it at once and spoke sharply to Sally, “Where did you get that, my necklace, Sally?” Hearing the sharpness in her own voice, Carlene softened it. “That is our dear mother’s locket. She gave it to me, she loved me so. I had it put away. Where did you find it, dear Sally?”

  “Why, it is my necklace, Carlene.”

  Carlene stiffened, she did not expect to be opposed by Sally. “I know what belongs to me and what does not, Sally dear. You may wear it today, of course, but return it to me tonight. It is very dear to me.”

  Arabella spoke from almost across the room, “You must be mistaken, Carlene. Your dear father gave it to me to give to Sally from her mother. Sally was too young when your dear mother died. He kept it for her, for love. I brought it just yesterday. Dear.”

  Flustered, Carlene answered, “Well then, I must be mistaken. Oh, yes … I see now, it is not the one she gave to me herself. Forgive me, dear Sally.”

  Arabella smiled. “How can she not?”

  Carlene leaned back in her chair, whispering, “My smelling salts, please.”

  creed’s son, Lincoln, came with his father. He stood back from the general crowd. He could see Lovey who had been carried out of the kitchen in the red wagon where she finished her work. She was forced to remain outside now in the garden and on the sidelines of everything so she would not be in anyone’s way. She did not want to be too noticed. However, she had seen the tall, handsome colored man who was dressed so nice. She caught his eye, she stared at him so, he stepped to the side of the red wagon. He thought she was a very pretty child. “Too bad about her legs,” he thought. “She would have been a real heartbreaker. May still be one, for some fellow like her.”

  He spoke to Lovey, “Hello! Enjoying yourself? These are lovely gardens, aren’t they?”

  Lovey smiled, shyly, “Yes, sir, they sho are.” Her face lit up and her pretty, clean teeth showed in her smile. “My brother, Luke, he do the gardening here. Sometime I help him and Miz Richlene work in it.”

  Lincoln smiled back larger, “You do? You are very smart!” He knelt down beside her. “Is this your little automobile?”

  Lovey laughed softly, shyly. “No, sir. My sister Hosanna, she just came here carrying her things in it.” Her eyes widened. “From Washington D.C.” Lincoln laughed. She continued, “It just a easy way to bring me here so I wouldn’t have to stay home alone again.” She thought a moment. “But I wouldn’t want to miss this. All the ladies in them pretty clothes. I would’a trudged over here on my knees like I usual do if I’d a had to!”

  Hosanna had come up to them and heard the last few things Lovey had said. “Here my sister, Hosanna, now! She the cook here! Don’t that food smell sure nuff good!”

  Lincoln turned to Hosanna. “That food sure does smell sure nuff good.” He smiled at her.

  Hosanna smiled back politely. “Are you Mr. Creed’s son, Lincoln?”

  “Yes, I am his son.”

  “I have heard of you. You are the one who is away in college?”

  “For now. If there is a war, I may be away in the army.”

  “What army? I haven’t heard of any new war.”

  “After they settle it in Washington, you will hear of it.”

  “You study all those big important things in college, don’t you?”

  “Well, they’re important to me. I’m studying law.”

  “Do you learn how to fix things? You know about cars?”

  “I only know the principle behind them. I haven’t built one.” He laughed, amused.

  Hosanna was now serious. “Well, Mr. Lincoln, I would like you to see what you can do to this wagon for my sister. It would be a good way to make her more independent if she could get around in the street without being on her knees.” She leaned down to the wagon where Lovey was sitting looking up at them. “See, this handle could be made so she can work it better from the inside of the wagon. You know what I mean? Then if she had a stick or something like an oar they use on boats? Well, she could push herself where she want to go, mostly.”

  Lincoln knelt down. “Yes, I do see what you mean. It’s not really something I know, exactly. But I sure can think about it. I think I can come up with something that will help a little bit.”

  Hosanna smiled her brightest smile to him, even though she was tired as she could be. She and Lovey had been there cooking and preparing since b
efore daylight. “Lovey, Miz Sally say I can lay down on her bed a little minute. I’ve got to rest my back, chile. You want to go with me or you want to stay out here?”

  The answer came quickly, “Oh, I wanna stay out here and watch all the people! You go ’head, I’ll be right here.”

  “Okay.” Hosanna was gone with a “bye, Mr. Lincoln, thank you” over her shoulder.

  Lovey looked up at Lincoln, waiting for him to move away, but he didn’t. Her little young, twelve-year-old heart was so proud, so pleased that this tall, handsome brown city man had even stopped to talk to her. Strangely, tears came to her throat, but she would not have cried for all the world. He looked down at her, noticing the misty eyes. “Are you alright? What’s your name?”

  “Lovey.”

  “Hey! What a beautiful name. You’ve got to grow up and live up to that lovely name!”

  Lovey laughed, pleased again, even thrilled. They talked a while longer, then he went away to join Luke and Mr. Creed. She looked after him, wanting to follow him to where her brother Luke was. But she would have had to be pulled there in the wagon and she did not want Lincoln to be reminded that she could not walk. She sat there in the hot sunlight, for the shadows of shade had moved with the sun, and thought of when she would be grown up, a woman. She watched him, rubbed her knees, wishing she could walk in beautiful dresses like the other ladies. To him.

  hosanna went to Sally’s room to throw herself across the bed for a short while. Sally had taken the letter from her father’s attorneys out so Arabella could see it later. She had left it on the bed. Hosanna moved it so she could lay down, and then she read it lazily, without intending to be nosy. “Well, no wonder Miz Sally live up here like a servant. This ain’t right. Something is wrong here.” She put the letter down and started to think about it but fell fast asleep. When she was awakened and called downstairs, she had almost forgotten about the letter, until she saw Sally again. Then when she ran into Russell, the lawyer-banker, she thought of it. She had seen Sally and Russell walking together in the gardens several times, talking softly and laughing. He seemed to care for Sally quite a bit.

  Hosanna decided to speak to him. When she pulled lightly on his jacket, he looked around expectantly. When he saw it was only Hosanna, he frowned. “What is it, Hosanna?” Hosanna said in a loud whisper, “One time, when you have time, I want to talk to you about somebody we both like a lot.” Russell was slightly annoyed but good-natured. He thought, “What can this be? I don’t want to be involved and considered a personal friend here.” But he said to her, “Alright. Come to the bank when you can. We will be open after the weekend.” Hosanna smiled and nodded her head yes and was gone.

  phillip Befoe casually walked around observing everything. He had placed himself in front at the funeral gravesite in the private Befoe cemetary, not bothering to look at anyone to see whether they liked it or not. This was his grandfather! They had noticed him surely, but after the coffin was lowered, he had disappeared and been almost forgotten.

  The supper was plentiful, hot food served buffet style, except those Carlene thought were the most important to entertain and these were served seated in a private dining room. Naturally, Phillip was not invited among these important men.

  During the buffet supper, Phillip had been quiet, answering when spoken to but preferring silence. Better for observing Carlene, Sally and mostly Richlene, whom he tried to stay close to. He wanted to hold and comfort his mother, but it was not time yet. “In time,” he thought, “in time I will give you all the love I can see you need, that I have been unable to give you until now.” His heart ached for her. He loved her without knowing her except for all the wonderful things his grandfather had spoken to him about when he talked of Richlene. Her kindness and gentleness were on her face. “She may be slow, but she is definitely not retarded,” Phillip thought. He watched his sister Emily closely, and she watched him, also, as soon as she kept noticing him everywhere she turned. Always around Richlene. She was very protective of Richlene. Phillip noticed she looked at Carlene with something resembling scorn. “Surely the child is too young to feel so strong an emotion for her own grandmother,” he mused. Carlene had long noticed it but chose to ignore Emily, “that child!” It was clear, her favorite was Emily’s older brother, Carlton.

  The men noticed Phillip never entered into any conversation, though he listened carefully whether invited to or not. At first they thought, “Must be some of the help.” But his clothes were too good, too well cut, the material was too rich, expensive. “Well,” they mused, “could be hand-me-downs from Richard. There is a resemblance to Richard and the family though. A servant’s child? Some misstep of Richard’s? Ahhh, a distant relative, perhaps?” A few handed him their glasses to test the young man. “Get this filled for me, will you?” Phillip always stepped back with a smile, signaled for some of the real help and indicated the waiting man who still held his glass out.

  He wandered around until he saw his mother Richlene going outside looking for someone she called Luke. Phillip followed. The fresh air was clean and clear and felt good to him after the rooms full of smoke, various perfumes and smells of food. Richlene walked over to a colored man and took his arm and waved her arm indicating the gardens; she was smiling. The colored man stepped back from her clutch. “That must be Luke,” thought Phillip. “Ahhh, there’s Lincoln, right in there with them.” He casually rushed over to where his mother was talking to his friend Lincoln and the man Luke.

  Phillip smiled, happy to be so near to Richlene and even speaking to her. “Hi, Lincoln. Hello, Mrs. Befoe.”

  Richlene looked at the young man. She had noticed him before, the way he looked at her. “Hello, how do … you do?” She smiled. “You know, I … think … I know you … but … I can’t … remember why. You … look so … familiar.”

  Phillip did not want to chance her reaction to him there, among all the people. He held out his hand to her, holding back the love from his smile. “My name is Phillip. How are you, Mrs. Befoe?”

  Richlene reached out to shake his hand, but her thoughts made her hand hesitant. Her mind was telling her something, but it was not clear yet. Their hands finally touched and clasped, but they did not shake hands; they held hands as Richlene looked wonderingly into his face that no longer smiled. Lincoln coughed meaningfully. Phillip smiled again and gently let her hand go.

  Much later, as the guests were leaving, Richard Befoe’s private attorney, Mr. Ways, went to bid good evening to Carlene and express his regrets again. Carlene, tired of her huge performance, glanced at him with a wary eye. “Well. Do you think everything was to my husband’s satisfaction?”

  “You handled everything beautifully, Carlene. I’m sure Richard would be satisfied with the services.”

  Carlene sighed. “Good.”

  Mr. Ways took a deep breath. “However …”

  “Yes?”

  “I didn’t want to disturb you earlier … because things were so far along. You know, it really would be good if you were to have one of these telephones way out here. I could have reached you in time.”

  Carlene turned to look up at him. “Yes? In time for what?”

  “Richard, expressly, in writing, wished to be buried on his mother’s estate where he was born.”

  “He is already in the ground, Ways. Besides, I am his wife and he belongs here, where I am to be buried.”

  “Yes, but … however that may be, he expressly demanded … to be buried in his birth place.”

  “Damn! Man! Shall I dig him up? Absurd!”

  Mr. Ways placed his hand on his chin, his voice gentle. “If I do not follow his demands regarding his funeral requests and arrangements, there will be a great problem … for you.”

  “And just what, may I ask, would that problem be, Mr. Ways?”

  “The will cannot be opened. Nor any of his financial business touched. All funds accruing interest, etcetera, will be going to charities.”

  Carlene stood without help. “What?
”

  “Those are his demands … not requests. He specifically said you were to have nothing to do with his final arrangements … and that I will not be … remunerated, at all, from the estate, if I let you have your way. Unfortunately.”

  Anger exploded from the bereaved widow. “I’ll see about …”

  Mr. Ways held his hands up for peace. “Carlene. Just dig him up when everyone is gone. Send him to his mother’s estate. I will take care of the rest. The tombstone is to be chosen by Richlene and … another.”

  “I am not even to be allowed to choose my own husband’s tombstone?!”

  “I am only following instructions. It is very nice, and not irregular at all, for the children of the deceased to choose the tombstone for their loved one.”

  Carlene chose to have a near fainting spell. She swooned, calling, “Sally! Minna! Help me to my rooms.” Carlton came running.

  Richard was dug up the next day and shipped to his mother’s estate, accompanied by Richlene and Emily. They were met at their destination by Phillip Befoe. Richard’s wishes were carried out to the letter. Mother and son were reunited. Richlene was shocked, of course. All the different lies her mother had told her about what had happened to the baby. But the fact that she was reunited with the son she KNEW she had given birth to overwhelmed her, and the flood of love she had held in abeyance for so many years broke through her heart. Tears and love flowed. Emily was hesitant but soon knew Phillip truly loved their mother. Then she relaxed and found her brother Phillip easy to love, too. So different from Carlton.

  chapter

  35

  the black widow spider had now been living and settled for many months in the fine plants in Carlene’s room. The spider had learned the room, knew where the window was that led to the tunnel leading to her escape to the outdoors. She had eaten her first set of children because she had grown hungry before she learned all about her living space. She had to eat them. Now she went down the tunnel when she felt the need to find a mate to become impregnated, then she returned to the room. What kept her coming back was there were no predators to fear there. She hated fear. Yes, she preferred the dark, damp earth outside, but in the potted plants she had some darkness and dampness. And privacy. She wove webs, occasionally catching some unwary fly. Food lasted a long time, she did not need to eat every day. Now she was pregnant again, awaiting birth, as she curled her legs around close to her body and watched Carlene.