In Search of Satisfaction

by J. California Cooper

  Everything being taken care of at home, Hosanna decided to see Yin again. She sure enough needed some work now.

  yin had indeed revived from her ordeal. She nursed the golden baby happily. Ellen, given the money, had walked to town to get three dresses for herself—one for Sunday, two for wear and wash during the week—and some aprons. She cleaned, cooked and took loving care of the baby, getting along well with Yin.

  The last time Hosanna had visited Yin, the guest Yin expected was Richard Befoe. He had sent word he wanted to see the baby. He was excited to have a son, illegitimate or not. He had thought of the child through the past nine months and had checked up on Yin to see if she had been seeing anyone else in the area. He did not think of the fact she may have been pregnant when she arrived there. Yin had kept company with no one, so he believed the child was his. He had even, on his last trip to his attorney, added a codicil to his will. He wasn’t always feeling well and thought he had better not wait, knowing Carlene would do nothing to alleviate any problem the child might ever have.

  When he arrived at Yin’s, his excitement showing all over his face, Yin was fluffed up, perfumed, combed and sitting in bed holding little Joseph Richard Befoe. She hadn’t told Richard the last name, Krupt.

  Before he even saw the child, his first words were, “I brought you a present.” He handed her a jeweler’s box and placed an envelope on her dresser. She squealed with delight and opened the box as he took the baby from her. He leaned over and stuck his finger in the lacy cover, pulling it away from the baby’s face. He saw the glow of gold. He blinked his eyes rapidly and blanched. Knowing the child did not, could not have a sun tan. He lifted his eyes to Yin who tentatively smiled as the gift, a new diamond ring, twinkled on her finger. He drew a haggard breath and tried to stand. He clasped his chest and his eyes rolled back in his head. He pointed a finger at her as he fell helplessly to the floor. He was having a stroke.

  Yin grabbed the baby, shoved it across the bed and jumped up, screaming, “Richard, Richard!” She felt for his pulse not knowing what to do with it and screamed for Ellen. When Ellen came, Yin screamed at her, “Go get Luke! Get Sally, get Creed! Get somebody! I don’t want him to die here!” Richard could not speak, but he could hear and, sometimes, he could see.

  When Ellen was gone, Yin spun around and put the jeweler’s box away. She removed the envelope from the top of the dresser, checking its contents first—it was money—then put it in a drawer. She then returned to Richard who was trying to get up from the floor. He could not make it. He struggled futilely.

  “Oh! Why is she so slow?!” She got a towel, a diaper really, and tried to wipe his face and mouth where the saliva was oozing out. “Oh, Richard! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you! Never! I just wanted to live.”

  His lips moved with great effort. “Not … my … baby. Neg … negro baby.” His eyes were wild and filled, not with hatred but pain.

  Yin stopped crying. “Oh, Richard! It is your child! I am half Negro. That’s me you see in him!” She jumped up, remembering the baby when he began to cry. She held him to her breast, wrapping his blanket close. She spoke to the baby in soft tones, “I will put you away in your room. I’m not ready for all of them to know about you yet.” This done, she heard the carriage and voices as Luke was coming to get Richard.

  They took Richard to his huge, rich house and lay him in his huge, rich bed. Luke went for the doctor. Later, the doctor shook his head slowly as the family gathered, waiting outside the bedroom door. “You better say your farewells.”

  Richlene cried, little Emily cried; both had loved this man. Sally cried and was distraught. Richlene was heartbroken, uncontrollable. The doctor gave her a sedative and they took her to her room. Emily would not leave her mother’s side. Carlene remained in her room where she said her grief prohibited her from coming out. It was decided to send for all the family. The doctor said Richard might go at any time, but he held on for several days more. When you could understand him, he was saying, “My son, my son.” Sally knew who he was talking about because she knew Richard was raising his son Phillip. She sent a message to Phillip that his grandfather was dying. She and Richard had agreed long ago that the best thing to tell young Phillip was that Richard was his grandfather, Richlene his mother. That his father had been divorced and was gone. And so the boy had believed. Why not?

  Satan lingered around watching Richard, watching Carlene. He had never really cared for Richard. He thought Richard was in an excellent position to do so many things for him, Satan, and had not done them all, by far. He did not like that Richard did not have enough rapaciousness to be predatory, did not hate, was not a destroyer of souls by design. He despised Richard because Richard wanted love. Not more money and power. Satan was laughing at him now softly.

  But Richard was holding on for something. Even he did not know why. “Let me die, let me die, God.” In his mind he marveled at himself. “Why do I say, ‘God’? I have never prayed to him. Sometimes I have talked to him in that little chapel I built. And sometimes, in the nights of misery I have had, I have thought of Him. But I knew He did not know me. Yes, I prayed when my … father died. I prayed when my mother died. Did I believe in Him? Who is He? No one ever talked to me about Him. Oh, why didn’t I seek Him out? I knew His commandments, and I have tried to live by them. Not because of Him, but because they were true and just … and good. But, I have no sons by a wife. Each time there was a child given to me, there was adultery. A lie. And this one is not even mine at all. Is that why He warns you, tries to guard you from adultery? Because of the pain it brings? But how many times I did it and there was no issue. Or was there and I do not know? He is right. It has never made me happy. Nor has my wife. She committed adultery, too, and helped ruin my life. I have nothing to give and have given nothing but money.” He thought of his son by Richlene. “I gave love, also. I have loved. Phillip, my son, I hope I have done right with my will. But it is too late, I can do nothing else. I wish I had given you God.”

  Tears rolled down his face as he struggled to raise his right arm. He wanted to write something. The arm would not move. The tears rolled on. “And now … I believe God is alive, He IS there. And He does not know me at all.” But Richard was wrong. God knows about everybody. I don’t think He thought Richard was evil, but I do think He might think Richard was a kind fool. A sad fool, but a fool, at least in his private life. He would have been able to live in a kind world, though. God knew that.

  it was after all of this that Hosanna decided to go back by Yin’s house to see about jobs. Yin was distraught, wearing a large diamond ring which she kept looking at with pleasure, then turning to her anxiety again. “I know they will need you to work at the Befoes if anything happens to Richard. They all seem to think he will die. Poor Richard. I will send for you when things are … clear.” Hosanna left to go home to her own business where she found Luke was indeed very sad at the thought of Richard dying. He and Creed talked many hours about Richard. They had sincerely liked him.

  At last they knew his death was imminent. All his family went in to say their last words. Richlene sat beside his bed and lay her head on his shoulder, sobbing out her love for him. They had to take her away. Richard was sorry for her but glad to know he had been loved, sincerely.

  Carlene had asked to be called last. She closed the door behind her as she went in to Richard. She sat and stared at him a long time, smiling at the last. He looked back at her, his face a little twisted, tears in his eyes. Finally, he spoke first, “I … have never … never been happy … since you came.”

  Carlene leaned closer to him to answer, her voice was soft and low as if she were enjoying the moment. “And I have never been happy with you … or your daughter.”

  Two great tears came to his eyes and rolled slowly down his face. He tried to smile, however. “I … love … Richlene … but she … is … not … my … child. She … is … my … sister.” It was such an effort for him to speak, perspiration was f
orming on his brow.

  Carlene, startled, blinked her eyes rapidly and sat up and back. Her voice changed, she hissed, “What do you mean, ‘not yours’? She is the child …”

  “You … gave to my … father.”

  Carlene gasped, “You have gone insane! I won’t listen to this. I don’t have to, you are dying.”

  Richard spoke through his twisted smile, “No … and … I don’t … have to … think of … it … again.” He sighed deeply as if the breath hurt.

  “You are dying.”

  “I … know. I … am … glad.”

  “How fortunate for you, you are glad.”

  “I did … love … you … once … Carlene.”

  That threw her a little, she had expected hate. “You … loved me?”

  “I … loved … you many … years. Even left out … I … loved … you.” He grimaced with the effort. “Pro … bably … the … only … one who … has.”

  Carlene laughed softly in ridicule. “My father loved me. Your father loved me. Deeply. As a woman.”

  Richard was now more exhausted. He could only shake his head slowly no … no … no. Then he said it once, “No.”

  This infuriated Carlene. Anger and hate pulsed through her heart. She stood, leaning close to Richard. She screamed a whisper, softly as possible. “Don’t you tell me no! I have been loved!”

  With his last efforts, he continued to slowly shake his head no. It infuriated her. Slowly Carlene raised her hand and struck him across his face as hard as she could. The shaking stopped. Carlene took a deep breath that shook her body, and she stood up straight. She almost smiled because she had stopped that shaking head from telling her no. The smile slowly faded as she leaned closer to hear his breathing, see some sign of life. There was nothing. He was dead.

  Satan laughed and laughed. Now Carlene could even be called a murderer. Carlene’s smile never returned. She stood a short moment, then hastened to the bedroom door. As she passed those standing in the hall, she said, “He is dead. Burn him. We will burn him.” She saw the look of horror on their faces. “We will cremate him. He is gone.” She looked at Richlene. “Your dear father is gone.” Then she walked sedately back to her rooms with all eyes on her back.

  Sally sighed. “The poor man.” The doctor nodded yes, but he did not know what Sally meant.

  When all was said and done, Richlene did not want her father cremated. She wanted to be able to bury him under beautiful trees and the sky, with birds and other wild life around him. “He would prefer that.” She smiled firmly through her tears. She fought her mother firmly. He was not cremated.

  chapter

  34

  many grand people came for the funeral from all over the world. Richard Befoe the second had been a very rich and powerful man even though he had avoided most of the traps set by Satan for those who are so powerful. He had not hated the poor or color not his own. He had simply done nothing for them. He had sympathized with widows and orphans and the hurt in life. He increased the fortune left to him, but thought there was no blood on his increase that he directly knew of. He knew that munitions killed, but he had felt some distance from it. He had kept the munitions plant because Carlene insisted he would be the greatest fool she knew if he let it go.

  Many powerful people came because they knew this money and power was going to be handed over to someone. Someone who would surely be at this funeral. Many from Wall Street were there. Senators and congressmen and their wives came for the day, returning to their homes that evening. The riverboat made many trips that day. Even the president of the United States sent a telegram.

  Arabella Befoe came. It seemed Richard had been a friendly visitor to her over the years. She respected him. He had respected her. She even knew his son Phillip, who had visited her frequently and knew her own children. She brought with her the present, at last, for Sally from her father, Carl Befoe. The present Carlene had never mentioned to Sally.

  Phillip Befoe came, but he stayed with Mr. Creed, by choice. He brought Mana with him but asked her to stay away from the funeral, for if they saw her, they might remember she had disappeared when the baby did and Carlene might surmise he was there. “It is not time,” he told her. So Mana stayed with her one remaining relative. A childless woman, her life had been so wound up in the Befoes, she had no other life now, no other loves except Richlene and Phillip.

  Phillip and his father Richard had spent many, many long times together. Richard had wanted to prepare Phillip for his future. Among the things he had told Phillip was that in Yoville, Creed would be a true friend and would tell him whatever he wanted to know and would help him do whatever he wanted to do if he could. Phillip went to see Creed from the riverboat. Later, he had walked the streets of the little town of Yoville. He had stood looking at the Befoe mansion for the first time. He had been on vacations and to special events at the other mansion that had belonged to his great-grandmother, but this house he had not known. He had been told that his grandmother Carlene did not want to be reminded of the unplesantness of his birth. He awaited the day of the funeral to go see his “grandfather” for the last time. He was grieving.

  When Arabella arrived, Sally told Carlene, the grieving widow. Her quick response was, “That bitch cannot stay in my house! Richard had nothing to do with her! Just because she married my father does not mean she is part of my family! She won’t climb up in society on me! She is tainted forever!”

  Sally sent word to Yin, who was upset because she might not be well enough after the birth of her son, to attend the funeral and she knew, just knew! that many rich men would be there. Yin sent word back, “Of course, Arabella Befoe is welcome in my house. Please extend my invitation to her and I will prepare a room immediately.”

  Before Arabella left for Yin’s, she gave Sally her father’s present. It was a diamond locket that had belonged to her mother, Victoria Befoe. Sally was overcome when she opened the small package. “Oh! Oh, he did love me, didn’t he? He thought of me?!”

  Arabella laughed gently, “Of course he thought of you. He loved you. You are his daughter! I would even say his favorite daughter, in the end.”

  Sally shook her mature and still pretty head. “Oh, no. I cannot believe that. He left all he had to Carlene. He left me nothing to say good-bye, farewell.”

  Arabella frowned. “Are you sure? I’m positive he left you half of his estate, after he took care of me and our children. It was a huge estate. He left trusts for Richlene. I KNOW he left you half of his estate.”

  Sally, bewildered, said, “I have a letter from his attorneys telling me there was nothing for me. That he thought my husband’s family would take care of me.” Arabella looked confused and distressed until she heard Sally continue, “They told me not to contact them, they would contact me if something was to come up for me.”

  Arabella narrowed her eyes. “Who gave you the letter?”

  “It was in the mail.”

  “Anyone can mail a letter. Did you never contact them?”

  “Oh, no. They said not to.”

  “Sally, you are your father’s daughter, are you not?”

  “I am.”

  “Then how could you be such a foolish woman? Any fool would look into their business! For God’s sake!”

  Sally was confused and too overwhelmed to think. Servants were seeking her out constantly for some information or other. She turned Arabella over to Luke who would take her to Yin Yang’s house. “I will bring the letter to you. I would like you to read it and tell me what you think. And …” She touched the locket fondly. “Thank you, so much, so much.” Then she was off to her sister’s business and her dear friend’s funeral arrangements. Carlene had sent word she was unable to do anything.

  before the funeral began, Carlene cried openly, emotionally, as though she had lost the love of her life. Her gown, specially ordered, flowed full to the floor in black silk bombazine, with many tucks to hide the lumps that were now part of her body. The dressmaker had done quit
e well; Carlene looked rich and lovely. The veils covered her face in stark light were pushed back when the lights were more flattering to her.

  Clutching the arms of the rich and, some, handsome men who extended a hand to her with sympathy or other plans, Carlene looked at them all. And they all looked at her. Some with schemes, some with ambitions, some wondering how much she knew of her husband’s business, his very private financial business. Of course, there were some there who were as well off as Richard had been or better. They came because others like themselves would be there and it was going on 1916 and there were things to be addressed in private. Like the coming wars. Or other devious plans. The labor business. The international business. Of course Satan was there, he saw many friends of his own in one place that day.

  This was a rich woman indeed! She controlled millions and millions. A woman with no new husband to advise her. Everyone milled around her. Wives of ambitious men fluttered near her offering condolences and friendship. A proper squeeze of the hand may mean an invitation to one who looked to get ahead in life and only lacked a bit of power. No one looked at her with love or true sympathy.

  Richlene sat in the garden that she knew her father had loved, where he had sat so often talking with Luke or Creed. She had chosen to wear white. It was a full-length, quiet dress. She would sometimes go into the little chapel Richard had built and there she would think of him and cry a little. Her tears were almost all shed, she had cried so much. “He was my friend as well as my father. He loved me. Really loved me,” she thought to herself. “Now, there is only Sally and Luke. And no, I do not like my son, Carl, God. He is like my mother. He does not love anyone. Oh, he tries to fool her, but I know him.” Then she would cry again quietly. “Oh, Daddy. Why did you leave me here in this house alone?”