The Sheikh's Desert Captive (Qazhar Sheikhs series Book 11)

by Cara Albany

  Seated on the sofa of the reception room, looking at Nicole dressed in an outfit that made her look like one of the women of his country, triggered an urgent, vital desire in Rashid. Wearing those outfits, she looked like a true Qazhar born woman. And, the way she spun around to show the outfit off to Rashid, told him she was relieved to be out of her usual clothes, excited to try something new. But, that was Nicole. She always wanted to experience something new.

  He'd known she liked to play games with him, and dressed like that he'd felt overwhelmed by her beauty. It was as if she'd become a wholly different kind of person; as if her identity had been transformed in front of his eyes.

  So, it was a pleasure to spend the time with her during the day. Evenings were no different. As they had done on their first true night, they shared a meal on the terrace, talking into the late hours. Every night.

  But, unlike that first night, there had been no more solitary walks, no more passionate encounters beneath the stars. For the first few nights, Rashid had struggled to accept the fact that the wall between them was unbreakable, especially now that they both knew how they felt about each other. But feelings didn't seem to matter anymore. All that was important was that the days and nights were passing and the final night would soon be upon them.

  And then what? He asked himself that question every day. Every night, alone in his room, tormented by unfulfilled longing he tried to understand what would happen once she left, once she returned to her real life, far from the fantasy they were sharing.

  Rashid tried to console himself with the knowledge that he'd done the right thing in saving Nicole. Even if he still hadn't confessed to Nicole the real reason why he had been compelled to turn up in Hakim's camp that night, Rashid knew that saving Nicole had been the best thing he'd ever done.

  It went some way to salving his conscience about the past. The only secret he'd kept from Nicole. The real reason he'd been in Hakim's camp that night.

  The last day arrived.

  On that last day, just before lunchtime, Nicole had asked Rashid for the satellite phone. He'd heard Nicole speak with her mother, possibly telling her that she was due to start home the following day. The thought that Nicole was already thinking of going back home merely made the need in Rashid become even more insistent, almost impossible to ignore. It was as if there was a ticking clock driving him to distraction. All he could think was how much he wanted Nicole.

  But it could never be.

  It would never be.

  He was certain of that now.

  His last secret came to mind over and over. He'd put off telling her about it. Maybe now was the time.

  Maybe there was one more thing he could tell her, one more declaration that could make all the difference.

  ****

  It was the last evening, almost eight o'clock, and Nicole was up in her room, getting ready to go downstairs and join Rashid for their final dinner date. She stood in front of the mirror and gazed at herself. She'd chosen the knee-length blue dress because she was sure it was his favorite. She'd seen the way he looked at her when she wore it, the way his eyes lit up when she walked into the room.

  She sighed. It had been a difficult few days.

  No. Scratch that, she told herself.

  It had been almost impossible to get through these last few days.

  True to his word, Rashid had been the perfect gentleman, courteous and polite toward Nicole at every moment. But, every day, she'd seen the struggle in his eyes, how hard he'd been trying to contain himself, to restrain the obvious emotions he felt while in her presence.

  She'd felt exactly the same, and she marvelled that they'd made it through the last few days without giving in to temptation. It was a testament to Rashid's sense of honor that he'd been able to exercise such self-control.

  And for Nicole, it had hardly been any easier. Especially during the nights, knowing that the man whose passion for her burned so fierce was merely a short distance away from her down the corridor. Nicole had not slept well these past few nights, and she was sure it showed. She peered at her face in the mirror. Shadows curved beneath her eyes.

  The nights had been long and filled with tormenting, tempting thoughts about Rashid. She'd struggled not to think of him, lying in his bed, naked and calling her to his side. She knew it was scandalous to think of him like that. That there was no point. That nothing would come of it.

  But she couldn't help it. The long nights were all about thoughts of him and the impossibility of sleep.

  Images of Rashid's body close to her had consumed her every night and, more than once, she fantasized about what it would be like to be in his bed, to feel his body against hers, to taste him, touch him, have him close to her. So very close.

  Nicole had chided herself for thinking such things about the man who had saved her, the man who had treated her as if she was the most precious person in his life, even though they were still almost strangers to one another. But, somehow that didn't matter. They'd been forced into such close proximity and they'd uncovered a surprising attraction.

  It had been impossible to control those treacherous, passionate thoughts. Rashid wanted her in his bed. She knew that. She could see it in his eyes, in his every glance at her. She could feel it every time he came near her, visibly struggling with the temptation to touch her, but resisting that temptation at every instance.

  It hadn't made her lonely nights any easier that they'd spent time together during the last few days. She could tell that time had meant a lot to Rashid. He'd let her have all the time she needed to be alone. She was positive that hadn't been easy for him. If she'd given him the chance, she was certain he'd have spent every available moment with her.

  But she'd made the decision to keep him at bay, and it hadn't been an easy decision to stick to. He was so incredibly sexy, such an amazingly tempting man. She could hardly believe she'd spent so many days and nights alone with a sheikh and that she'd managed to resist him.

  Now, it was their last night, and she didn't really know what to think about that. She wondered if he'd be cold with her, perhaps distant, now that they'd seen it all through to the end.

  Hakim had lost out; honor would be restored; life would resume; Nicole would go back to her normal life.

  So, why did that thought fill her with a strange apprehension? Maybe Rashid had found his way into her heart, in some mysterious, inexplicable manner. And what did she think of that?

  Nicole gazed at herself in the mirror and found herself smiling at that thought. Surely it wasn't the worst thing in the world to be the object of such passion; to be the one person that such a gorgeous, powerful, handsome man as Rashid wanted above all else in the world. That was pretty amazing, she told herself. It made her feel a glow of anticipation about the coming evening.

  She glanced at her watch. It was a few minutes to eight. Tonight she wouldn't keep him waiting. The time for those kind of games was well and truly over.

  With one last fuss with her hair, Nicole left her room and made her way downstairs. As usual, Rashid was waiting for her on the terrace. The night was cool and the desert beyond the wall was dark. No sign of camp lights tonight, she thought.

  Rashid smiled at her and ran his gaze down the length of her body, taking in the sight of the dress. "Lovely," he said simply.

  She gave him a twirl and smiled at him. "I thought this was your favorite."

  "So you wore it for me?"

  Nicole nodded. "Seemed like the least I could do," she said.

  His brow furrowed at the obvious reminder this was to be their last night. He pulled the chair out and she sat down. As on every night before, he placed his hands on her shoulders and she smiled up at him. This time she resisted the temptation to make a snarky, good-natured remark. It seemed somehow wrong to do that tonight.

  He took his place opposite her. Rashid looked like he was determined to make the most of the evening. When the food was brought, he started to talk with her about his past. There was so muc
h to know about this amazing man, she told himself. It was almost as if he was cramming everything into the last few hours they would spend together. Did he think that by doing that he would change the way she thought about him? Change what she needed to do tomorrow?

  Half way through the meal, she realized he seemed to be doing everything in his power to avoid talking about the future. She could understand that because she could hardly think about what it would be like to leave this place.

  Leave Rashid.

  Finally, the meal was over and they settled back in their chairs, drinking the sweet, black coffee from the tiny cups.

  He seemed suddenly thoughtful and she wondered what he was about to ask her.

  "What did your mother say when you told her you were coming home tomorrow?" he asked.

  "You knew that?" she asked, feeling surprised.

  "I didn't listen in, if that's what you mean. I just figured you'd want her to know."

  Nicole shrugged. "I did tell her tomorrow was the day when I could come home. She sounded relieved."

  "I'm sure she's been worried."

  Nicole gazed across at him. "She needn't have been. You've been a very gracious host."

  "Is that all?" he asked seemingly disappointed.

  Nicole drew in a deep breath. "No. You've been so much more than that. And I'm grateful for what you did."

  "You don't need to be grateful. I had to do what I did."

  "I know. You and Hakim."

  She saw him shake his head, and he was suddenly very serious. "Nothing to do with Hakim."

  "What do you mean?"

  He took a sip of coffee and placed his cup back down. "It was more to do with something that happened in the past. A long time ago. Something I haven't told you about. Yet."

  Nicole felt concern tug at her. His features were grave. She didn't know, at first, whether she should press him for more details. He'd already shared so much with her about his past life. But, she knew it would be naive of her to assume he'd shared everything important.

  "The real reason I want to stop Hakim and those like him from continuing with the tradition of enforced marriages is because it happened to someone I once knew," he explained.

  Nicole hesitated unsure whether she wanted hear any more, but she knew she knew there would be no stopping Rashid from telling her more. She could see the determination in his eyes.

  "Someone you once knew?" Nicole asked tentatively.

  Rashid nodded. "I was young. Twenty-one years old. And it was time," he said.

  "Time for what?" she asked, although she could already guess what he was referring to.

  "My family had chosen someone for me." Rashid gazed at Nicole, his eyes dark and full of intent.

  "Marriage?" she asked.

  Rashid nodded. "Alana and I had known each other since childhood. We were good friends. At least I thought we were," he said.

  She could see how difficult this was for him. Maybe he hadn't shared this with anyone before. Perhaps this was the first time he'd spoken about it in years.

  "But there was one problem with the arrangement. Alana didn't want to marry me."

  Nicole felt herself frozen, watching him confess this secret part of his past to her. Why was he telling her this? She wasn't sure she even wanted to know. At the same time, she could hardly imagine any woman not wanting Rashid.

  "Isn't that unusual?" Nicole asked after a long pause.

  "For a woman to reject a man as a husband?" he asked. His features flushed with emotion and she saw a sudden indignation in his eyes. "Unheard of in my culture," he added harshly.

  Nicole swallowed, trying to think what to say next. What could she possibly say in response to him opening up like this?

  "So what happened?" she asked quietly.

  Rashid sighed. "She decided she preferred to remain unmarried, rather than become my wife. And, that's the way she stayed, until eventually she gave into pressure from her family. Years later." Rashid gazed across at Nicole. Fire burned in his eyes. "She married someone else."

  Nicole drew in a deep breath and tried to understand what he was telling her. Was that why he'd made it his business to stop these forced marriages? Was it merely his personal disappointment which was driving him to try and put an end to that tradition? Had he been hurt and ever since then all he wanted to do was put a stop to all arranged marriages?

  Maybe it hadn't been about Nicole, after all. Perhaps she had just been caught up in his personal crusade to get some kind of revenge for the frustrations of his youth.

  That thought triggered sharp, defensive emotion that cut into her. Indignation began to stir.

  This whole thing had been about his need for personal payback against a custom which had caused him pain. Had she just fooled herself into thinking it had all been about her? It had never been about Nicole. In spite of what he'd tried to have her believe while she'd been staying with him.

  The rush of indignation flared inside her.

  "Why are you telling me this?" she demanded. She knew she needed to control herself. It would do no good to show him how she felt about this revelation.

  "I wanted you to understand why I've been doing all this work," he said.

  "Work? Is that the way you look at it?" she exclaimed. Was she just a part of some project, some grand design he had, to bring what he thought of as progress to Qazhar? She felt a sinking sensation in her stomach. Again? Had she been fooled again by a sheikh?

  Rashid leaned forward, his brows furrowed. He'd noticed her reaction, but there was nothing he could do to change the way she felt; nothing he could do to tame the sudden outrage which had welled up inside her.

  "It was just that," he said reaching out a hand toward her. "Until you came into my life. Then everything changed," he added trying to curl his fingers over her hand. She moved her hand away from his and his eyes darkened.

  "Really," she said sharply. "I saved you from your personal crusade? Is that it?"

  Rashid shook his head. "No," he said sounding confused that she was reacting like this.

  'That's what it sounds like, Rashid."

  Rashid shook his head. "Nicole, please listen. Let me explain, " he started to say but he was interrupted by the sound of her chair scraping the marble floor as she stood up.

  Nicole looked down at Rashid. "I don't want to hear any more, Rashid. I'm happy that you found me useful," she said. In spite of her indignation, another emotion filled her voice. Hurt.

  Rashid stood and came around the table. "It wasn't like that."

  Nicole scowled at him. "It certainly sounds like it, Rashid." Nicole groaned and ran a hand through her hair. She spun away from him determined not to look at his face. It was all so clear now. It had never been personal, never been about her. He was stuck in the past and she had just been someone he could use to deal with that past.

  She felt his hand on her arm but she pushed it away and whirled around to face him. "Don't," she barked.

  He frowned and drew in a deep breath. He advanced toward her. "Nicole. I won't allow you to do this," he growled, his voice suddenly commanding.

  She felt an abrupt shock at the sudden change in his tone. He wouldn't allow her? Nicole glared at him. "What? You won't allow me? Who are you to say that to me?" she demanded.

  Rashid moved closer. His features took on a dominating look, as if he refused to let misunderstanding ruin the moment. There was force in that look, and she was suddenly taken aback.

  When he spoke, his voice was a low growl, filled with certainty, impossible to deny. "I'm the man who saved you. The man who has kept you safe," he murmured. He lifted a hand to her chin and rested the tips of his fingers against her skin. "I'm the man who wants you," he added.

  Her whole body tingled as she heard those words, as she saw the heat in his gaze. Nicole drew in a deep breath, her gaze transfixed, every muscle in her body suddenly immovable. A moment of silent communication passed between them, and she felt the pull of emotions she'd been struggling with fo
r days. She wanted to move away from him, needed to put some distance between them both, but she couldn't.

  He spoke again, his voice quiet and firm. "You know what I'm saying, Nicole. You know the real reason why I told you this," he stated.

  Nicole shook her head and frowned. "All I'm thinking is that you haven't gotten over your lost love, Rashid. And I'm some kind of pale shadow for you," she said.

  Rashid'd nostrils flared and his brows darkened. "You think that's all you are? Someone to make up for the fact that I was let down in love when I was young?"

  Rashid was inches away from her now. His presence was daunting and the emotion in his voice was something new, something she hadn't heard before.

  "You're wrong, Nicole. The past is gone now, as far as I'm concerned. That's all history." He rested his other hand on her arm and she felt a tingle of sensation as he curled his fingers around her, taking gentle hold of her.

  His gaze was a burning fire of hot intent and she couldn't take her eyes off him. Didn't want to take her eyes off him.

  Nicole felt something shift inside her and she pushed back against it. His words at the table were still flaming inside her mind and she didn't want to give him such an easy victory.

  Maybe she could make one last gesture; put up one final barrier that would keep him at bay.

  "Please, Rashid. There's nothing else to say. I understand now," she said.

  He gazed into her eyes and leaned his face closer. "I know you understand, Nicole. Because I know what's been happening here, these last few days." His gaze softened. "And I think you do, too," he added softly.

  Emotion swirled inside her and she met his gaze with one last, desperate challenge. "What are you talking about?" she asked although she already knew the answer to that question.