Keeping Up Appearances

by Elizabeth Stevens

  I think it was safe to say I’d officially accepted I had to talk to Xander about how I felt. Now, I just had to work how I was going to do that and where I’d find the courage to maybe hear something I didn’t want to. As I tried to work that out, I took one more deep breath and pushed my way out of the bathroom.

  Okay, just ‘hey Xand, let’s be real’? I asked myself as I headed for the main doors of the building. ‘As in, let’s make this happen’? Or, maybe he’ll bring it up again? Come on heart, you’re usually vocal enough. What’s your input on–?

  “Oh, so you didn’t take both at once?” I heard Nancy’s voice and looked around.

  She was sneering at Sabrina, who was glaring back at her. Jess and Kate stood behind Nancy while Tara and Teagan stood with Sabrina.

  “Funny, I’d heard that about you,” Sabrina answered.

  Nancy gave this ridiculously fake laugh. “I’ve only slept with one guy, so couldn’t have been me.” She shrugged like she was innocent.

  “Oh, that’s weird. I’d heard you were a total slag.”

  “Oh, no. I think you’re confused. It’s Bows that are the sluts. Didn’t you hook up with Max when he was going out with Britt? I guess it’s never too early to start your future career. How well does Mistress pay?”

  I was definitely confused now; Max and Britt hadn’t gone out, all the Bows were just waiting for it.

  “Better than plain old whore,” Sabrina shot back.

  “Well, you’d know.”

  “Do you not have any fresh material?” I spat at Nancy and they all turned to look at me. “Seriously, do you not have any other insult than that someone had a threesome? That’s boring, Nance. I mean, the stories I could tell about you. Only slept with one guy?” I shook my finger at her. “Lies are bad for the soul, Nancy Milligan. You really going to stand there and slut-shame Sabrina? How about you stop giving a damn about what other people get up to, huh? She wants to have a threesome, that’s none of your damned business!”

  “She’s actually had a threesome?” Nancy asked, her mouth dropping open as she looked at Sabrina.

  “Next time you want to spread a rumour, Nancy, it’s probably better you at least pretend to believe in it. It’s not your business who someone sleeps with. It’s no one’s business but theirs. So back off and leave Sabrina be.”

  “You’re sounding mighty defensive there, Holly. Something you want to share with the class?” Nancy sneered.

  “Yes, Nance. I had the craziest sex of my life last weekend when I let Daniel and Xander tag team me. Then, they decided to stop taking turns,” I said sarcastically, knowing it was the stupidest thing to say as soon as it was out of my mouth; it didn’t matter that every person listening would have known I was being sarcastic, Nancy could say that I’d admitted it now.

  And, by the triumphant look on her face, she knew it.

  “Just go and worry about your own sex life, Nancy, and stop caring about other people’s. Trust me, your sordid interest does not go both ways. No one could care less what you and Jason are not getting up to.”

  A cheer went up from the onlookers as Nancy flushed bright red. She huffed in annoyance and turned to push her way through the crowd. Sabrina looked at me in shock.

  “Sorry about her. She’s a bit of a dick these days,” I said awkwardly.

  Sabrina shook her head. “You didn’t have to do that.”

  “I know. But, Bows stick up for each other. No matter what.”

  Sabrina looked like she didn’t know whether to smile or frown and I even more seriously rethought calling myself a Bow than I had as soon as it was out of my mouth.

  “Thanks, Doll.”

  I ignored my heart as it waved its victory pennants at winning over Sabrina Walker of all people and just smiled at her. “Anytime.”

  When we got out to the Bows, Xander was just staring at me in concern. But, that just turned to confusion when Sabrina took my hand and gave it a squeeze before she went over to Rachel. Who, of course, was totally thrilled by the exchange I’m sure.

  But, it didn’t take long for Sabrina to tell people that I’d stood up for her. At least, I assumed that’s what she told them based on the new way they were looking at me. Even the Bows who already called me Doll were looking at me differently, like I’d earned the nickname now or something and not just because I was their King’s girlfriend.

  e

  I hadn’t expected things to get better. But, I guess I hadn’t expected that they’d get worse either. Rumours were flying around the school and people were fighting more than before. Punches were thrown in the hallways, people yelled at each other, things were being hurled around the place; it was chaos.

  Girls were still flinging themselves on Xander, more literally than figuratively. It got to a point where Greg and Daniel were actually acting as bodyguards to keep girls off him. Xander, naturally, seemed fairly unfazed by it all unless they got to close, and I saw them get too close. As long as Greg and Daniel did their jobs, Xander laughed and smiled and didn’t exactly send the adoring masses the right message in my mind. I got the whole concept of not causing too much of a scene or being a total dick, but my heart did watch him and wonder how much he was enjoying the attention.

  It wasn’t helped when I walked past some girls on Wednesday and heard them talking about it.

  “She hasn’t dumped him yet.”

  “Well, maybe someone has to do more than just kiss him?”

  “How are we supposed to do that?”

  “I don’t know. It’s Nancy’s plan, ask her.”

  I felt sucker punched. It was one thing to spread rumours and just be a general dick, but to actually send people to flirt with my boyfriend so I’d break up with him?

  I’d wondered, but I had to admit that had been hurt-Holly talking. Rational-Holly hadn’t actually believed that someone would actually do that. Were we stuck in some ridiculous fantasy land? Who actually does that?

  Who actually fake dates a guy they hate, then falls for him while she’s trying to make her best friend jealous?

  I was getting really sick of my brain…

  So basically, things weren’t going wonderfully.

  I couldn’t seem to find a time to talk to Xander about everything. At school, he was inundated with girls or he was cracking jokes about Jason and Nancy with ‘Team Bowdeen’ kids. Out of school, I was too scared he’d tell me the only thing I didn’t want to hear – no matter how much I told myself it was stupid – so I pretended everything was okay.

  My brain was all in on this now; we liked him and we needed to do something about it. It was my heart who was holding back now, like the contradictory little bugger it was. Seemed like the damned thing was fine to frolic after whoever it wanted as long as there was a safety net. But, my brain wasn’t interested in being a safety net anymore, it was interested in being amazing. It just had no idea how to admit that to Xander.

  I was starting to feel like I’d come full circle and it made me really look at how this all started.

  So, I was neck-deep in my own mind when I ran into that chess prodigy guy in the library.

  Micah! His name’s Micah.

  “Sorry, Micah,” I muttered and went to move on.

  “What?”

  I looked at him and suddenly wondered if he wasn’t Micah after all. Shit. “Sorry,” I repeated, hoping we could move past the me getting his name wrong thing.

  “No. You said my name.”

  “Was I not supposed to?” I asked him.

  “I didn’t know you knew my name.”

  I gave him a small smile. “You’re Micah. You’re the guy who’s aces at chess.” I shrugged, hoping to any and all deities that I was right.

  His mouth dropped open as he looked at me. “You know who I am?”

  “Am I not meant to?” Were there more parts to this school than I was aware of?

  He nodded. “You’re really not meant to.”

 
“Sorry…?” I tried.

  He shook his head. “No,” he breathed. “Don’t be sorry. You know who I am.”

  I nodded. “Yeah. I do.” I caught a picture on his diary. “Hey, I recognise that poster.”

  He looked down and back up at me. “You’ve seen Vampyr?”

  “Not yet, but it’s on my To Watch list. It’s the Camilla one, right?”

  He smiled. “Yeah. 1932. It’s really good.”

  “You like the older stuff?”

  He nodded again. “Usually, original is always better. What they did to Prom Night?” He shuddered. “But, the new IT looks really good. I’ve got high hopes.”

  I grinned. “You’re a horror buff?”

  His eyes lit up the way Mark’s did when he talked about soccer. “Nothing’s better than that edge of your seat tension!”

  I laughed. “Yeah, I totally get that.”

  “What’s your favourite?” he asked.

  I thought. “Uh. At the moment, it’s a toss-up between Alien and The Babadook.”

  “Ripley’s amazing!”

  “She’s total kickarse.” I grinned.

  The bell rang and he looked around quickly. “See ya, Holly,” he said with a wide smile.

  “Bye, Micah.”

  He hurried off to class and I did likewise. But, when I saw him later that day, he was wearing a ‘Team Bowdeen’ button and he gave me an enthusiastic wave that I didn’t hesitate to return. Not bad for a guy who was glaring at me the term before.

  But, that was about the only minor win among the chaotic nonsense that went on just because I’d started dating Xander. So, it wasn’t surprising when the principal called an assembly on Thursday to ‘discuss the recent behaviour’.

  I settled myself on the seat between Xander and Miranda as people muttered and chattered around us.

  “Okay, everyone. Let’s have some quiet please,” Mrs Danvers called from the podium and silence fell over the room. “We need to talk about this teams business. It’s getting completely out of hand. All buttons supporting one team or another are herewith banned from school property. Your teachers will be taking them off you when you get back to class. The disrespect and ridiculous behaviour we’ve seen this term has been astounding, students. I don’t know who started it and I don’t need to know. But, it stops today. Our school is supposed to be a safe place where you can learn and grow and spend time with your friends. It is not a warzone to play out a morbid obsession with two of our senior couples.

  “What Holly and Xander, and Jason and Nancy do is their own business. I will not tolerate people calling each other names and spreading malicious lies. I don’t know why you think this is acceptable behaviour. I had hoped that it would all settle down and it was a phase that would pass. I see now that it’s not going to do so on its own. So, consider this a formal warning to you all. Respect your fellow students and keep your noses out of things that have nothing to do with you. Please.” She paused and sighed. “Okay, that’s enough lecturing. Get back to class.”

  There was the shuffling of mass movement, but I still managed to overhear some more highly pleasant things about me.

  “Apparently, she’s happy to share.” I heard the hissed whisper from behind us.

  Someone else snorted. “That is so sad. Can you imagine being that into a guy that you’d just let him sleep around?”

  “Hello? It is the King of the Bows. Wouldn’t you share him?”

  “You’re assuming I haven’t already.”

  They both giggled and I thankfully didn’t hear anymore.

  My cheeks had totally heated by now and I felt Miranda take my hand.

  “Don’t listen to them. You know he’s not sleeping around.”

  I nodded as I looked to Xander, telling myself I did know that. He’d been talking to Daniel and was busy laughing, so I assumed he hadn’t heard what they’d said. Still, I slipped away while he was distracted and Greg finally caught up to me on the way to History.

  “Doll, you okay?”

  I nodded. Not really. “Yeah. Fine.”

  He nodded, but I couldn’t tell if he believed me or not. “You sure? You know we’re all here for you…”

  “No. Holly’s real,” a voice said and I looked around to see Farrah, who was in Micah’s year and talking to a couple of friends. “And, she’s really nice.”

  Farrah caught me looking and she smiled at me. The girl who’d glared at me only a few weeks earlier was smiling at me. My smile back was nothing but sincere.

  I nodded to Greg again, this time feeling it a little more. “I think I’ll be okay, mate. Thanks.”

  He grinned at me in that cutely goofy way he had as we walked into the classroom and sat down.

  And, did the principal’s decree stop the madness?

  Ha. What do you think this is? A happy ending?

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  “Jason!” I yelled as Xander dodged Jason’s flailing arm.

  But, did they listen? No, of course not. I winced as Xander landed a punch on Jason’s cheek. Not that Jason didn’t then get another hit to Xander that also made me wince.

  “Xander! Enough!” I tried again. “Xander, please!” I screamed as Greg lay a hand on my arm.

  But, no pleading on my part was going to make either of them stop and my heart glared at the both of them as it pretended it wasn’t hurt by that. Especially by Xander. Where was the guy who hadn’t hit Jason because of what he meant to me?

  I threw my arms up and huffed in annoyance. “I give up,” I grumbled.

  “Doll, it’s not about you this time,” Greg said.

  “Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I asked, shooting him a glare.

  He shrugged apologetically. “Their whole school lives has been boiling down to this point. One of them needs to emerge victorious.”

  “Why? What are they even fighting for?”

  Greg shrugged. “Only they know. Honour? Top spot? Maybe it is about you?”

  I rolled my eyes. “No one’s fighting for me.” Not when Jason had never really ever and Xander had no need to. “Why can’t they just yell at each other? Why do they need to hit each other?”

  “We’re boys, Doll. We don’t know how to use our words.”

  I frowned at him, despite the sarcasm in his tone. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

  His shrug was of the brush-off variety this time. “Yeah. But, sometimes words aren’t enough. Sometimes it’s the guy with the least bruises who wins.”

  That was also total bollocks.

  “This is high school, Greg!” I snapped. “It’s not Thunder Road. It’s not the freaking Hunger Games. It’s not…” I huffed. “I’m too annoyed to come up with anymore references. But, it’s not a damned fight club–”

  “Nice one.”

  “Shut up,” I muttered.

  I looked around the gathered crowd, just waiting for a teacher or the principal or–

  And, there was Coach’s whistle.

  “Bowen! Thomas! Let’s break this up!” he yelled at them, his voice carrying.

  But, even that wasn’t enough to make the boys stop this time.

  Coach looked over at us and saw Greg.

  “Hook, a hand please?” He looked around and must have seen Daniel. “You too, Viera.”

  Daniel and Greg hurried in and grabbed Xander’s arms as Coach tried to get hold of Jason. But, Jason got one more shot off at Xander’s stomach while Greg and Daniel were holding his arms behind his back. The crowd gasped in excitement.

  “You watch yourself, Thomas,” Xander snarled as he broke free from his friends and swung at Jason again.

  Jason ducked and slammed his fist into the side of Xander’s head as the crowd of kids almost all gasped in horror. My heart almost leapt out of my mouth as I saw Xander fall and he didn’t seem to be getting back up again. Not by himself anyway.

  Coach finally had Jason pinned and there was an audibl
e sigh of disappointment that rippled over the gathered students. Daniel and Greg managed to get some response from Xander and help him up. Xander shook his head as though trying to clear it.

  “I’m fine,” he growled at them. “Let me guess?” Xander said as he turned to Coach. “I’m benched?”

  “You’re benched, you’ve got detention next Friday, and I’m going to have to call your parents, Bowen.”

  Xander glared at him, but only nodded before he threw off Greg’s and Daniel’s hands, grabbed up his bag and walked over to me.

  But, I shook my head and walked away. I was so not dealing with this now. Greg had been right, it hadn’t been about me. I didn’t know if it had ever really been about me or I was just some pawn the two of them used in their ridiculous power struggle. I didn’t even know what I would have preferred it to be.

  In much the same way I’d thought I’d liked Jason without really knowing him, had Xander done the same with me? Had he only liked whatever person he’d made me into in his head? I didn’t really want to think about it. My heart wallowed in it and my brain was the one wandering around with its fingers in its ears at this point. But as usual, my heart was leading the way while my brain tried in vain to get it to listen to reason.

  “Holly!” Xander called, but I kept walking.

  Of course, him and his long legs caught up to me easily.

  “Holly, what’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong, King Douche.” This time, I wasn’t sure it was an endearment. “I just have to get home.”

  “Let me drive you.”

  “I’m fine taking the bus,” I snapped.

  He grabbed my elbow only long enough to let him get in front of me. “What’s going on?”

  “I don’t know, Xander. You tell me.”

  “Let me drive you home and we can talk.”

  “I don’t really feel like talking.”

  “Okay, let me drive you home and we won’t talk?”

  Why did that tone tug on my damn heartstrings? I tried reminding it we weren’t talking to him at the moment, but that thing didn’t care. “Fine,” I grumbled as I swerved to head for the carpark.