In Too Deep (Grayton Series Book 4)

by Jill Sanders

  Not until she heard her door shut and the lock being flipped did she open her eyes again. He was looking down at her, smiling as he laid her gently on her bed. “I like your space.” He glanced around and then his eyes settled back on her.

  He moved down to her, and she was grateful when his hands started moving over her again.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he said next to her skin. His lips were quickly heating her back up. She’d changed so much since the last time they’d come together. Reagan hadn’t been a small child by any means and her body had accommodated the almost nine-pound baby easily, but it had taken her a while to get her figure back. Even now, her hips had yet to go back down to their normal size.

  He continued to talk to her softly, telling her how beautiful she was, how soft, the entire time he touched her, kissed her, causing small goose bumps to rise everywhere.

  Her hands roamed him, feeling every muscle, enjoying feeling every beat of his pulse against her skin. When she felt herself building once more, she dug her heels into the mattress and held on but was once again disappointed when he pulled away.

  “Roman,” she begged, trying to keep him close to her by wrapping her legs around his hips and holding him to her.

  He chuckled. “Easy.” He kissed her neck, just below her chin. “I’m enjoying myself too much to rush.”

  “It’s not rushing,” she almost growled out. “It’s torture.”

  He pulled back and smiled down at her. “Maybe you deserve a little torture. Especially after what you’ve put me through.”

  Looking deep into his eyes, she felt guilty all over again. An explanation was on her lips, but then he shook his head and frowned at her.

  “No, not tonight.” He reached up and cupped her face in his hands gently. His rough, calloused hands against her soft skin heated it even further. “That’s for later.”

  “Then… why are you torturing me?”

  His smile was fast. “Maybe I enjoy watching you squirm.”

  She looked into his eyes and could see sadness there, but she could also see desire. Deciding two could play this game, she quickly rolled and didn’t stop until he was beneath her. Pinning his arms down to his sides, she straddled him. The fact that she was completely naked now, while he still had his shorts on, caused her some distress. So, bending down, she tugged until finally he was as naked as she was.

  Her eyes slowly moved over his entire body. He’d been a boy the last time, and she’d been so shy that she hadn’t enjoyed looking. Now, however, she let her eyes take him all in. Every glorious inch of him told her that he was a man instead of the boy she’d fallen in love with so many years ago.

  She felt doubt creeping in, so before she could back out, she leaned down and ran her fingers and mouth over him.

  His fingers dug into her cotton comforter as his hips jerked when she took him fully into her mouth.

  “Missy, my god,” he groaned, his hands going into her hair. She loved the taste of him, the soft skin over steel. She took her time, pleasing him as she learned every inch of him.

  When his hips started moving, she leaned back and looked down at him with a smile.

  “It doesn’t feel good, does it?” she asked, running her hands over his thighs.

  For an answer, he flipped her over until she lay underneath him again. This time, his fingers dove into her, and she knew he wouldn’t stop.

  ***

  He couldn’t stop if he wanted to. Not after she’d tortured him to the brink, till he knew what it was like, needing so very much. His fingers took what he wanted, gave her what she needed until she lay below him, lax and sated.

  Then he lay down next to her and tried to control his own breathing as his mind rushed over the events of the last forty-eight hours. Her fingers kept circling his chest until finally, she moved over him.

  She smiled down at him and he tensed for just a moment before her lips covered his. He had forgotten how soft she felt over the years. How beautiful she’d been. Even now, looking up at her, he didn’t want to close his eyes in case he missed any little detail about her. The way her hair fell around her face or how her eyes heated when she ran her hands over his chest.

  When she dipped her head lower, he watched as she gripped his length and started a slow movement around him, causing a groan to escape.

  “I had my turn,” she almost purred. “Now, it’s yours.” Then she was taking him to places he’d only dreamed about since the first time he’d touched her so many years ago.

  He hadn’t even known he’d been missing anything with other women he’d seen during her absence. They all paled in comparison to the way he felt when he was around her. The way she’d always made him feel. Safe. Like he was home.

  He must have dozed off for a while after she’d snuggled next to him. When he cracked his eyes open, he could see the top of her head resting on his chest. Reaching down, he covered them with a blanket and smiled when she buried herself closer to him.

  He could just make out the light coming through her blinds and knew that his time holding her would be limited. He had plans to make sure that he stayed right where he was for the rest of his time there, or at least until he convinced her to return home for a visit. After that, he didn’t know what the future held, only that now that he had found his family, there was no way he was letting them go again.

  The morning was something dreams were made of. Well, his dreams anyway. He helped Missy with the mundane chores of getting an almost eight-year-old ready for a day at school.

  He even cooked eggs and toast while she was in the bathroom, getting dressed. He found it incredibly sexy that even after last night, she still blushed around him when he watched her walk into the bathroom naked. Of course, he had had to spend a few minutes thinking about something else before he’d finally emerged from the bedroom.

  With the help of Reagan, he talked Missy into filling out the forms and writing a check for Reagan’s trip to Orlando. He had to admit, he and the kid had made a great team when convincing her.

  He knew he needed to tread lightly about telling the kid he was his father. How did one go about bringing up the topic?

  By the time they drove her car to the school, he’d made the decision to tell the kid later that night over ice cream. But after watching Missy kiss the boy goodbye, he started having his doubts.

  “Don’t,” she said without looking over at him as she waved to Reagan. The kid turned at the door and looked back, a slight frown on his lips, until he finally smiled and waved back.

  “What?” Roman asked, turning to her. “Ask to drive the car?”

  She chuckled, but shook her head from side to side.

  “Roman, even after all these years, I can tell you have been deep in thought.”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “Just what do you think I’m deep in thought about?”

  “Reagan.” She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at him. “Telling him about you.”

  He frowned. “He has a right to know.”

  “I’m not questioning that.” She walked around and got behind the wheel. “I just think we should take it slow.”

  “Slow?” He almost growled the word. “Eight years isn’t slow enough?” he asked, stopping himself from slamming the car door.

  She turned and glared at him as he pulled out of the parking lot.

  “I had my reasons,” she said, not looking in his direction.

  “And? When will I be invited to hear your explanations?”

  She sighed and rolled her shoulders. “When I’m ready.” She glanced at him after saying this.

  “What about me? Don’t I get a say in this? After all, you’re the one who took my voice away for eight years.”

  “Roman.” She pulled to a stop in the parking lot of the store. “Just give me a little more time.”

  He was boiling inside, but the look in her eyes convinced him to give her the time she needed. Releasing the breath he’d been holding, he nodded slightly.

&
nbsp; “Marv wanted to watch you for a day before handing over the ferry to you.” She nodded to where Marv stood on the doc, waiting for him.

  “Will I see you later?” he asked.

  She nodded. “I was planning on going to the island for lunch, if you’ll join me?”

  He smiled and then quickly pulled her across the seat and covered her mouth with hers.

  “I plan on staying at your place, you know. And tonight, we won’t have to hold back,” he whispered next to her ear. He thought he felt her shiver and hoped it was with anticipation.

  Chapter Nine

  Roman’s words played over in her head the rest of the morning. “Tonight, we won’t have to hold back.”

  Just the thought that he’d held back any last night sent heat spreading throughout her entire body. She had been so absentminded while daydreaming about last night that she’d started stocking the orange juice on the center aisle instead of in the refrigerators. She’d caught herself before anyone had noticed and had quickly restocked the fridge while blushing.

  But the more she thought about it, the more his words took on a different meaning to her. She was the one still holding back from him. He’d walked into a sticky situation and had blindly believed everything without getting any answers. Before she did anything else, she realized she had to tell him everything.

  She pulled out a grilled half chicken from the rotisserie oven and packed up her small cooler with cheese, crackers, and sodas. Then she went to wait at the end of the dock for the ferry to return.

  Marv had assured her that he’d take most of the days for the rest of the month, but there were at least a handful that Roman would have to fill in. John and Bob had been excited to fill in full time until Jenny could hire two more replacements.

  She knew the time had come to finish telling Roman her story. Actually, that’s why she’d set the lunch date. She kept telling herself not to back down, but part of her still wanted to run and hide. Nothing was more important to her than her son’s safety and Roman finding her had been the biggest breach possible.

  When the ferry pulled up, she found it hard to smile and wave at Roman as he stood in the bridge after docking. She waited until everyone else had left before climbing on board. There were only two cars heading back to the island during the lunch trip, which at this time of year was slow. But she knew that things would be speeding up during the weekend with the holiday coming.

  “Hey.” Roman smiled at her and pulled her closer in for a light kiss. Missy watched Marv’s bushy eyebrows jump upward.

  “I have our lunch.” She nodded to the cooler. “I packed a slice of Jenny’s cheesecake for you, Marv,” she said in hopes of discouraging her employee from telling everyone about the kiss.

  She smiled when his eyebrows lowered.

  “Looks like we might get some rain later tonight,” Marv said, taking the container of the large slice of cake from her.

  She nodded and turned back to Roman. “Care to go out on deck and get some fresh air with me?”

  He smiled. “As long as you promise me you brought some of that cheesecake for us.”

  She chuckled and nodded.

  “Then lead the way.” He waved his hand after opening and holding the door for her.

  When she walked out on the deck, the warm breeze hit her. Marv was right; she could almost smell the rain in the air. By nightfall, everything would be wet.

  When Roman stopped beside her, he took her shoulders into his hands and turned her until she looked at him. “Looks like you have something pretty heavy on your mind.” His fingers played with the ends of her hair. She wanted nothing more than to just be held by him for the rest of the day. Instead, she nodded slightly.

  “I think it’s time I told you everything.” Her eyes met his and she could see some relief in them.

  “Here?” He waited.

  She shook her head from side to side, sending her hair into her eyes until she looked down at his chest. “During lunch,” she whispered.

  He pulled her closer and she easily rested her head on his chest. “Thank you.” His voice rumbled in her ear.

  She pulled back slightly. “Don’t thank me.” She felt her stomach almost roll. “I don’t deserve your thanks.” Her head was spinning just at the thought of what he was getting himself into by being with her.

  He nodded slowly. “Okay.” He drew the word out and she sighed deeply.

  “I’m sorry.” She closed her eyes and felt her head pounding. “Let’s just save the talking for after we eat.”

  He nodded again then pulled her back into his arms and kissed her forehead. “Whatever it is, we can work through this together.”

  She closed her eyes on the hurt, knowing that that would never be possible.

  ***

  Roman liked to think he was a patient man. After all, it had taken him over eight years to track Missy down. But as he sat on the picnic table overlooking the sugar sand beach, he felt his patience finally wearing down.

  Missy nibbled on her chicken and picked at it with a plastic fork instead of picking it up and digging into it like he had. It looked to him as if she was postponing the conversation as long as she could.

  He finished his plate quickly and watched her pull out a pan with the cheesecake wrapped inside. After cutting him a large piece, she set her fork down and pushed her almost full plate aside. He’d only taken a few bites of his cake, when her eyes moved up to his. Setting his fork down, he waited.

  “I found my… well, technically, he’s my grandfather on my mother’s side.”

  “What?” he asked.

  She repeated her statement so he shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

  She stood up and walked towards the surf, holding herself tightly. He followed close behind her, wanting to touch her but deciding against it. When she sat down in the sand, he moved beside her, their knees brushing slightly.

  “Just before Reagan was born, I was scared and running. I’d just escaped the cult…”

  “You had to escape the cult?” He frowned, turning towards her.

  “They kidnapped me.” Her voice was low, causing him to lean a closer. “After my mother visited me.” She glanced over at him.

  “I remember, she came up to the house and asked to speak to you.”

  She nodded.

  “We turned her away.” He frowned, remembering the junkie woman who had shown up. She’d had needle marks in her arms and a scared look in her eyes.

  She sighed and rested her elbows on her knees. “She found me the next day, when I was leaving school.” He felt anger boiling deep inside. “She’d left the CoF—the Council of Friends—a few years back and had gotten back involved in drugs.” She shivered. “Anyway, someone from the family had tracked her down and told her to visit me. She told me that they claimed it was time I came back and fulfilled my obligations to the family. So, that night, after catching what I thought was you and Susan Shaffer, I left Spring Haven. I was so young and stupid that I rented an apartment in Tallahassee under my birth name.”

  “Marissa Collins?” he questioned.

  She shook her head no. “That’s what Lilly told the Grayton’s my name was. To protect me.” She rested her chin on her arms. “I’ve used a few names until I came here. Wright, Collins, but my birth name was Marissa Smith. I’m one of sixteen Smith’s born into the Kevin Smith cult.”

  “Kevin Smith is your father?”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “At least he seems to think so. It’s hard to know who belongs to whom in a polygamous cult. In the Council of Friends, every child takes the leader’s name.” She glanced down at her hands. “And every leader takes the last name of Smith. The compound is just outside of Tallahassee.”

  “I thought those cults were only in Utah?” He frowned.

  She shrugged her shoulders and looked back up at him. “Several larger groups broke off a few decades ago. Some settled in Colorado and others even farther away. The CoF moved near the Florida border. Tha
t’s where I was born and raised until Lilly helped me escape on my wedding day and brought me to the Grayton’s.”

  “Why would they kidnap you?” He reached out and took her hand in his.

  She looked down at the joined hands and shrugged her shoulder. “They didn’t want me. My father”—by the tone of her voice, he could tell that she hated using that term—“claimed that he’d received a message from God that I was pregnant. I had just found out myself less than a week earlier. He claimed that his first grandchild was to become their next prophet.” Roman growled and she turned towards him. “After I escaped, I was pretty much living on the street. I had some money…” She shook her head. “I’d stolen it from the CoF as I escaped. But it wasn’t enough. Just before Reagan was born, an older man came to the clinic I’d visited and found me. He claimed to be my mother’s father. He’d been watching the compound for years, hoping his daughter would change her mind. She’d foolishly joined the cult to try and clean her life up. She was heavily into drugs in her youth.” She sighed and hugged herself. “He brought me to Carrabelle, where he’d been living for a few years. He’d purchased Dog’s Landing. He told everyone he’d hired me on and we changed my name once more.”

  “How do you know you’re safe here?” He looked off towards the mainland. Thoughts of rushing to gather Reagan flooded his mind.

  A chuckle escaped her. “I don’t. But Doug, my grandfather, did everything in his power before he died a few years back to make sure they wouldn’t find us again.”

  He shook his head, wanting to know more, but he had too many other questions that needed to be answered first. “Why didn’t you contact me? We would have…”

  She stopped him by putting a hand on his arm. “Because they knew about you. About the Graytons. Remember? When they kidnapped me, they claimed that if I ran…” She released a slow breath as she shook her head. “They wouldn’t stop until they had Reagan.” She leaned closer. “Roman, these are some scary people. They have money. Lots of money, weapons, and power. More than most drug lords in Mexico.”