In Too Deep (Grayton Series Book 4)

by Jill Sanders

  “If they knew about us, why didn’t they come after you all those years ago?”

  “They don’t want me. I’m an apostate. I abandoned my church, my leaders. No matter how young I was when I left, I belonged to Satan the moment I stepped foot outside the compound.”

  “Then why our son?” he asked, shaking his head.

  “It was determined on my second birthday that my first born would be a son and would one day rise to become their leader and guide CoF into the promised land. Everything they are, everything they’ve worked for over the last few decades rests on our son’s shoulders. Or so they believe.”

  “I…” He shook his head, unsure of what to say. The only thing he knew for certain was that there was no way in hell the CoF was getting their hands on Reagan.

  Standing up, he dusted the sand from his hands, then reached down and helped her up.

  “I promise you, they will never get a chance to lay a finger on our son.” His eyes burned into hers until she nodded slightly.

  She believed him with every ounce of her being. She just hoped he’d never have to prove it.

  ***

  As she watched the land disappear as they rode back to the mainland on the ferry, Missy shivered remembering her time in the compound when she’d been pregnant with Reagan. She couldn’t imagine their son enduring something like that. Being locked up, watched, beaten.

  She’d been born on the compound and had escaped it along with Lilly’s help so many years ago. She knew of its weaknesses and its strongholds. But over the years, things had changed. Even during the time between when she’d escaped as a child and escaped eight years ago, so much had changed.

  They had added electricity to their security walls so that anyone trying to climb under or over the high fences would be shocked. She shivered at the thought of what they had added in the time she’d been there last.

  She was sure that escaping them twice had been a fluke. If they ever found Reagan, she feared there would be no escape.

  “Roman, I know you want to tell Reagan about us,” she said, turning towards him. “But, I don’t think he’s ready.”

  Roman tilted his head and looked at her. “Are you having a problem with him being ready or you being ready?”

  She sighed and leaned a little more on the railing as she watched the water below. “I suppose it’s me that isn’t ready.” She turned away from the view and leaned backwards against the railing. “I’ve been a single parent his entire life. It’s going to be a shock hearing about you. Hearing my past.” She closed her eyes against the fear.

  “He seems like a pretty smart kid,” Roman said, running his hand over her shoulders. “Something tells me he’s going to have a lot easier time with it than you think.”

  She thought about it and nodded, trying to rein in her fears. “Do you want me…”

  He stopped her by shaking his head. “No, we need to do this together.” She nodded and moved easily into his arms. When he leaned down and kissed her, she realized she no longer cared who saw them together.

  Chapter Ten

  By the time they picked up Reagan, he’d talked Missy into taking the rest of the evening off from work. Marv had even agreed to finish up the rest of the runs for the night.

  After picking up Reagan from school, Missy had shocked Roman by tossing him the keys to the car.

  “Really?” His eyebrows shot up. She’d smiled and nodded. After helping Reagan into the back seat, making sure the kid snapped on his seat belt, he climbed behind the wheel of his dream car with his dream family.

  Checking the rear mirror, he asked, “What do you say to some pizza tonight?”

  “Yeah!” Reagan jumped up and down, pumping his arms in the air like he was on a roller coaster. He stopped when his mother turned around and looked at him. “Can we, Mom?” His bottom lip pulled out in a pout.

  She sighed, looking over at Roman, then smiled and nodded. “Why not.”

  He felt like peeling out of the parking lot, but with Reagan in the back and Missy sitting beside him, he pulled out at a normal speed.

  Instead of heading into town and the local pizza place along the water, he took a left and headed down to Cape San Blas and Port St. Joe.

  Joe Mama’s Wood Fired Pizza, a ma and pa run joint, sat less than a block from the water’s edge and had some of the best pizza along the coast. The typically hour-long drive took even longer since he ended up cruising and enjoying the coastal drive.

  It was funny—most of his teen years had been spent dreaming about racing the very car he was driving. But now that he finally has gotten behind the wheel of one, he had too much respect for the machine to go fast.

  “We’ve never eaten here,” Reagan said as Roman opened the back door to help him out.

  “Well, kiddo, sometimes you just have to try new things.” His eyes burned into Missy’s a little and he was pleased when he saw her cheeks flush.

  When he opened her door, she looked around the small town. “We’ve been here before.” It was more of a statement than a question.

  “My eleventh birthday.” He smiled and nodded. “Had ice cream over there.” He frowned when he realized it was now a frozen yogurt place.

  She chuckled, causing him to glance down at her. “Maybe they’ll have mint chocolate chip for you.” She patted his arm and then walked over to where Reagan stood waiting for them.

  He was very pleased that she’d remembered his favorite flavor. Walking over, he took her hand in his and walked into the pizza place. The smells hit them full force and they all sighed and smiled as they were seated.

  “Wow, look at how they flip that,” Reagan said, pointing to the man behind the counter who was tossing and twirling the pizza dough around.

  He chuckled. “Haven’t you ever seen a pizza dough twirler before?” he asked.

  Reagan shook his head. “I’ve read about them.” The kid’s eyes were glued to the motion. “What happens if he drops it?”

  Roman laughed. “I suppose he’d have to throw that dough away.”

  Reagan shook his head. “Seems like a waste.”

  “Oh? What would you do?”

  The kid shrugged his shoulders. “Bake it and feed it to some hungry dogs.”

  Roman’s eyebrows shot up. “Good idea.”

  Throughout their dinner, the kid continued to amaze Roman with his unique way of looking at the ordinary. By the time their pizza was gone, he was seriously questioning if he had any room for dessert, but since he’d promised himself that he’d tell Reagan over ice cream, he walked across the block with Missy and Reagan close to him.

  He could tell as they picked their flavors that Missy was getting nervous. Her eyes kept darting towards the door like she was hoping to escape somehow.

  When they walked back out to the front and sat under the patio, he decided he would wait until Reagan was done with his yogurt. But, realistically, he needed to settle his nerves a little before blurting it out.

  For some reason, the scene from Star Wars kept playing over and over in his head. Reagan, I am your father. Just didn’t seem fitting.

  Finally, when they were all done, he took a deep breath and grabbed Missy’s hand in his.

  ***

  Missy sat silently, waiting for the bomb to drop. She could feel Roman’s hand shake in hers and when he glanced at her, she saw fear in his eyes. She watched him swallow slowly.

  “Reagan.” His voice sounded grim. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Your mother and I have something we need to discuss with you.”

  “I already know,” her son said, looking down at his hands on the table.

  “You…?” Roman blinked a few times and then looked at her for help.

  “What do you know, honey?” She leaned forward and took his smaller hand in hers.

  Reagan’s brown eyes moved up to Roman’s. “I know that you’re my father,” he blurted out. “I know that Mom took me away from you and hid me.” He blinked and she was horrified to see a tear
escape his eyes.

  “Oh, honey!” She rushed closer to him and picked him up. “I didn’t mean to take you away from him. Roman never knew about you until yesterday.” She pulled his chin up with her finger until he looked at her. “I swear.”

  He nodded and swallowed. “Why?”

  Now it was her turn to cry. She looked over to Roman for help. His eyes were glued to his son’s. “Your mother did what she thought was best at the time. She didn’t want to keep us apart.” He walked over and picked Reagan off of her lap like he weighed nothing and held onto him while tears slipped down his face.

  “You’re okay with this?” Roman asked after a while.

  Reagan nodded his head and wiped the tears with his shirt. “I always wanted a dad.”

  “How did you know?” Roman asked after a moment.

  “Duh!” Reagan rolled his eyes and chuckled. “We look so much alike. Even Mrs. Miller knows.”

  Roman smiled and hugged him again. “Then, you didn’t really need the ice cream?” he teased, wiping the kid’s tears then his own.

  Reagan’s face turned a little red. “Course I did. I’m a growing boy.”

  Missy laughed and rushed over to hug the pair of them.

  Her mind whirled through the day’s events as Roman drove slowly back to Carrabelle. The rain had started just after they’d gotten back into the car. Roman had pulled over on the side of the road and put up the top.

  “I can look into getting a new back window.” He nodded towards the sheet of plastic she’d had taped up ever since she’d purchased the car.

  She shrugged her shoulders. “I hardly have the top up anyway.”

  He chuckled and glanced at her. “It’s a shame too.” Then he looked back to the backseat of the car where Reagan was fast asleep, his head resting on his book bag. “He’s pretty amazing.”

  She glanced over her shoulder and nodded. “He always has been.”

  “I know it doesn’t matter much, but I don’t really want people in town thinking I was a deadbeat dad.”

  She frowned, looking down at her hands as she nodded. “I understand.” She did understand. After all, Carrabelle was important to her. Almost as important as Spring Haven.

  He reached over and took her hand. “Thanks.”

  She felt her heart flutter when he looked at her. For the rest of the drive home, he kept hold of her hand, rubbing his thumb over her skin in slow circles. Which only reminded her of how he’d touched her the night before.

  By the time they pulled into her garage, the light rain had turned into a small monsoon. He was thankful that she had a cover from her garage to her back door as he carried the sleeping Reagan inside. The boy slept all through Missy pulling off his shoes and jeans.

  When she tucked the blanket over him, he snuggled in and rolled over.

  “He’s a good sleeper,” she whispered as she shut his door. When she turned around, he took her hand and walked with her until they stood out on the front porch. When he dropped her hand, he walked over and stood against the railing, watching the rain pour down.

  “Your gutters need cleaning,” he said absentmindedly.

  She glanced up and noticed that the rain was pouring out of several spots. “I have a guy that does that once a year. I’ll call…”

  “I can do it.” He turned to her, a slight frown on his lips.

  She nodded and wrapped her arms around herself.

  “Before…” He shook his head and took a deep breath. “Before we go any farther, I need you to know that I’m not going anywhere. I plan on being in Reagan’s life from here on out.”

  She nodded again and walked over to the railing to stand next to him. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

  He turned to her and ran his hand up her arm, pulling her a little closer.

  “That means that he’s part of our family, as well.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. “I won’t do anything to jeopardize his safety.”

  He nodded. “Neither would the family.”

  She shook her head. “No, you don’t understand. We can never go back to Spring Haven.”

  He frowned and pulled her closer. “We’ll find a way.”

  She felt tears rolling down her face. For too long, she’d wished to return home, but Reagan was too important and she had never wanted to chance being discovered. She didn’t know if her family… if the CoF was still looking for Reagan. She’d prayed for years that they would just give up, but something told her they hadn’t.

  Roman’s visit had only heightened her fear. She’d stopped looking over her shoulder years ago, believing that Doug had done everything to protect them here.

  But fear kept surfacing now. If Roman had found her, how easy would it be for the CoF to?

  “Roman?” She pulled back and looked up at him. “How did you find me?”

  He chuckled and shook his head. “It wasn’t easy.” She waited. Finally, he walked over and sat down on the porch swing and patted the spot next to him. She walked over and sat next to him. He kicked off, sending the swing swaying. She enjoyed his warmth when his arm went over her shoulders and pulled her closer.

  “Do you remember Liam?”

  She blinked a few times, and then a memory of a tall, skinny, red-haired boy who had always been a big joker popped into her mind. “Freckle face?”

  Roman chuckled and nodded. “He’s stationed at Port St. Joe air base. One weekend, Liam and his new wife, Barb—you went to school with her—”

  “Barb Kensington?”

  He nodded and smiled.

  “Anyway, they wanted to get away for the weekend and decided a short trip to Dog Island would be just the thing.”

  She closed her eyes and sighed, knowing the rest.

  “He called me immediately, since he knew I’d had a PI looking for you for years.”

  She gasped and looked at him. “You have not.”

  He nodded, his eyes turning even darker. “Did you think we—that I—wouldn’t look for you?”

  She felt his warmth pulling her closer. “I…” She shook her head.

  His hand came up to brush a strand of her hair away from her face. “I’ll always look for you,” he said softly. “I’ll always find you,” he whispered just before his lips rested over hers.

  Chapter Eleven

  Roman wanted to go slow. After last night, he’d made sure to come prepared and planned on spending time enjoying himself while he made sure she enjoyed herself just as much.

  Even as his lips traveled over hers, he could feel himself wanting to take what he wanted. He’d come onto the porch instead of going back to her bedroom to try to slow himself down.

  The sound of the rain grew softer as his hands roamed over her body. He’d noticed slight changes in her since they’d been kids but had marveled at every curve, every dip she now carried as a woman.

  “Missy,” he spoke against her lips. “You’re making it very hard for me to go slow.

  She giggled against his neck. “Then don’t.” Her hands gripped his shoulders, pulling him closer. Her breath was hot on his skin, turning him on even more. Finally, after she started tugging on his shirt, he stood up, lifting her easily into his arms, and marched them through the house quietly.

  When he kicked her door shut behind them, he felt a wave of desire hit him full force. She was looking up at him with her caramel eyes full of lust. Several steps later, he was following her down to the bed where their mouths slanted over one another’s again. This time, when clothing hit the floor, he made sure to pull out the packages of condoms he’d stored in his back pocket.

  Missy smiled when she saw that he’d brought more than one. “You came prepared.” He nodded, since his throat had gone dry just looking at her.

  “I did, too.” She reached over and opened her top drawer to her nightstand. “We sell them at the store.” She nodded to the box of condoms sitting inside.

  He smiled. “I know, where do you think I got these. You’ll have some explaining t
o do to Jenny tomorrow.”

  She giggled. “Explaining?” She smiled. “More like bragging.”

  He laughed as he pulled her back underneath him. “Then I suppose I’d better make this good.”

  She moaned when his lips covered hers. Her fingers dug into his skin as he trailed his mouth lower to cover her breasts one at a time.

  “Roman, I need…” She pulled his hair until he was back at her lips. “Now.” He watched her bite her bottom lip.

  “You have me so hot.” He almost growled it. “I can’t decide what’s what.” He slipped on a condom and settled in between her thighs. “Look at me.” He waited until her eyes locked with his before plunging into her.

  When she threw her head back and moaned, he almost lost control. She was tight and wet and he realized he should have taken it slower. But as her legs wrapped around his hips, he was powerless to her silent demands.

  Their lips locked and their tongues dueled as his hips pumped quickly. His fists dug into the sheets as he tried to maintain some hold on his control. Then she ran her tongue over his neck and nipped at the spot just below his ear and he went blind with lust.

  ***

  Missy held on and enjoyed the ride until she felt his control slip, then she couldn’t maintain a hold on her own control. Her thighs tightened around him as he continued to slide in and out of her quickly. Her inner muscles stretched to welcome him, even thought it had been years.

  When he rained hot kisses down on her face, she gripped his hips and threw her head back in pure ecstasy.

  Her heart felt like it was trying to jump out of her chest. He’d fallen down on her and covered her body with his warm one. They were slick with sweat and as the evening air cooled around them, she shivered.

  He rolled and pulled the comforter over them as she snuggled closer to him.

  “Why didn’t you tell me it had been a while?” he asked, slowly running his hands over her.

  “How do you know?” She frowned into the darkness of the room and heard him chuckle. “Well?” she said after a while. She propped her head on her elbow and looked in his direction, but it was a little too dark to see him.