The Blue-Haired Bombshell

by John Zakour

  Lea looked up at the stars in the sky. She inhaled. She exhaled. ‘‘Earthers,’’ she mumbled, though she obviously wanted me to hear it. ‘‘You all think you know it all.’’

  ‘‘I just know what I saw,’’ I said. ‘‘It looks like it takes a bunch of you to equal one Elena.’’

  Lea’s golden skin turned bright red. It didn’t look right, not right at all. That meant I was onto something. So I dug in deeper.

  ‘‘I guess her dad must have given her more mojo than you.’’

  ‘‘We are entirely equal,’’ Lea shouted at me.

  Melda moved forward and put an arm around her daughter. ‘‘Lea, calm, please.’’

  Dealing with Lea, Melda had an uncharacteristic rigidness about her, like she was a bomb squad member dealing with a very sensitive explosive. Lea was one of those ‘‘calm on the outside, powder keg on the inside’’ kind of people. ‘‘Please take a nice, slow, deep breath,’’ Melda said to Lea. It was much more of a request than an order.

  Lea sat back in her chair, closing her eyes. I watched as her chest rose, then fell, then rose again.

  ‘‘Don’t watch too closely there,’’ Carol said in my head.

  ‘‘Ah, he is a man,’’ HARV said.

  ‘‘I’m fine,’’ Lea said, pulling her legs up and curling them under her. ‘‘I’m fine.’’ She looked me dead in the eyes. ‘‘See, Zachary, my cousin and I share power, not personality.’’

  ‘‘I understand,’’ I said. The thing I understood was that Lea was far more like her cousin (who was actually her genetic sister) than she wanted to believe. That made her another person of interest to me.

  The dome of the colony was now clearly in view. I was anxious to end this excursion. Entering the dome, I looked down and noticed everybody was looking up. Gazing upward I saw the entire dome was acting as a giant movie screen. It didn’t take long to figure out why everybody was so interested. The message EARTH TO VOTE TOMORROW ON MOON FREEDOM was scrolling across the dome. Didn’t matter where you looked, you saw the same message.

  Our transport landed and shifted into ground-based mode. As we drove through the streets they were buzzing with anticipation. Tomorrow could be it. Tomorrow could be the day they were free at last, free at last. I wasn’t picking that wording, that message was now scrolling across the dome in huge letters.

  Lea and Melda were both gently touching their PIHI-Pods putting them closer to their ears as if to give themselves more privacy. They were listening intently.

  I glanced around at everybody else gazing upward.

  ‘‘HARV, how is the council pulling off a vote so soon after losing three members?’’ I asked in my head.

  ‘‘They have replaced the three already,’’ HARV answered.

  ‘‘With who?’’

  ‘‘With whom,’’ HARV said.

  ‘‘Just tell me.’’

  ‘‘Well one of them is easy,’’ HARV said.

  I took a deep breath. ‘‘Ona,’’ I said, though I was hoping either the council itself had decided against it or Ona turned it down. Though I figured I was blindly grasping at razor-sharp straws on that one.

  ‘‘Ona happily accepted,’’ HARV said. ‘‘It makes sense since the world looks up to her anyhow.’’

  ‘‘They only look up to her because she’s rich, powerful, and beautiful, not because she’s meant to be a leader,’’ I said.

  ‘‘That makes her far more qualified than 99.99 percent of the others elected to positions of power in the history of history,’’ HARV huffed.

  ‘‘Who are the other two?’’ I asked despite my better judgment.

  ‘‘You know them,’’ HARV hinted.

  ‘‘Do I know them, know them? Or know of them?’’ I asked.

  ‘‘You know them, know them, but not in the biblical sense, because, well, Electra would kill you.’’

  I had an idea where HARV was going with this, but I was afraid. It couldn’t be. What I was thinking made absolutely no sense. DOS, it had to be.

  ‘‘The other two council members are Twoa and Threa,’’ I sighed while mumbling out loud.

  Everybody else turned their attention to me. ‘‘Yes, how did you know that so soon?’’ Melda asked.

  I pointed to my wrist communicator just to remind them. ‘‘Remember, where I go, HARV goes,’’ I said. ‘‘He’s like a PIHI-Pod but better.’’

  ‘‘Much better,’’ HARV said, appearing from my communicator. ‘‘I have just updated Zach on the situation.’’

  I shook my head. Ona was bad enough but at least she was relatively sane. ‘‘Twoa and Threa,’’ I moaned. ‘‘That makes no sense.’’

  HARV patted me on the shoulder. ‘‘Zach, we’re talking politics; the less sense something makes the more likely it is to happen.’’

  Now don’t get me wrong. I like Twoa and Threa— I mean what sane man wouldn’t. They are each drop-dead beautiful (literally—it’s happened) and certainly have their own strengths, but they are also loons.

  ‘‘I didn’t think psis were allowed to be on the council,’’ I said.

  ‘‘That’s true,’’ Melda said. ‘‘It’s unfair but true.’’

  ‘‘Technically, Ona, Twoa, and Threa aren’t psis, as they were genetically altered, not born that way,’’ HARV said.

  ‘‘There’s a difference?’’

  HARV shook his head. ‘‘No, not really, just technically.’’

  ‘‘Twoa and Threa are interesting choices,’’ Carol said. ‘‘The council must have thought . . .’’

  ‘‘The words council and thought aren’t usually spoken in the same sentence,’’ I interrupted.

  ‘‘I am downloading the official press release now,’’ HARV said. ‘‘It states they are already superpowerful, superstars who have conquered everything else. Politics was the next logical step.’’

  ‘‘Politics and logic aren’t ever mentioned in the same sentence either,’’ I said.

  ‘‘Their appointments are only temporary. There will be elections next month. Anybody who chooses may run against them,’’ HARV finished.

  ‘‘Twoa, a politician,’’ I said. ‘‘Her crime fighting causes as much trouble as it solves.’’

  For those of you living in a media blackout, Twoa thinks of herself as a superhero called Justice Babe. To me, her most amazing superpower is the fact that her skimpy outfit is able to reign in her ample breasts. She is so hot, criminals (and starving actors) perform crimes just so she’ll pummel them on worldwide HV.

  ‘‘Part of the deal was she gives up crime fighting except on weekends,’’ HARV said.

  ‘‘And Threa! She doesn’t even claim to live in this plane of existence! Just a couple of days ago wasn’t she being accused of not paying her taxes?’’

  HARV nodded. ‘‘True. Apparently politicians, unlike scorned lovers, have very short memories. She agreed to pay those taxes.’’

  Threa . . . in politics. I guess there have been stranger things than a self-proclaimed fairy princess holding a political office. I do recall that the Terminator was once governor in the old days. Of course the Terminator wasn’t appointed just a couple of days after he tried to kill the very person he might be replacing.

  ‘‘Sexy was afraid of Threa. She could very well be a suspect in the killings,’’ I noted.

  ‘‘I didn’t know Threa was ever a suspect,’’ Melda said.

  HARV just looked at me. ‘‘She was never a real suspect—at least not in the eyes of the council and the law.’’

  ‘‘She sent ogres to shake down Sexy,’’ I said.

  Lea’s eyes shot wide open. ‘‘Really? How subzero!’’

  ‘‘Zach, you brokered an end to that dispute yourself. You’ve talked to Threa since then. You know she didn’t kill the council members.’’

  All of what HARV said rang true. It still didn’t vibrate well in my gut. ‘‘I don’t like the idea of Threa on the World Council,’’ I said.

  ‘‘Nobody asked for yo
ur approval,’’ HARV said.

  ‘‘I don’t like that either.’’

  We pulled up to the hotel. I figured no good would come from me further pointing out how no good could come from the Thompson girls’ dip into politics.

  ‘‘Thanks for the trip, ladies,’’ I said with a tip of my hat.

  ‘‘It was our pleasure,’’ Melda said.

  Melda glanced over at Lea. She was sitting next to us, but she might as well have been on another planet in another galaxy. Melda nudged her daughter in the ribs with an elbow, not the most motherly of moves.

  Lea’s green eyes opened wide. ‘‘Yes, a pleasure as always,’’ she said.

  I quickly got out of the car, hurried around it, and opened Carol’s door for her. Carol slid out.

  ‘‘And they say chivalry is dead,’’ Carol said with a wry smile.

  ‘‘Nope, just on life support,’’ I told her.

  ‘‘That marks the hundredth time in the last year that I am glad holograms can’t barf,’’ HARV said, finger down his mouth.

  ‘‘Not very civil there, HARV buddy.’’

  I looked into the shuttle, ‘‘I’m sure I’ll see you ladies later,’’ I said.

  ‘‘Bo would like to invite you for dinner tonight at the Head Administrator’s home,’’ Melda said.

  I hesitated. Part of me was sick of Bo and his psi ladies. I needed a break. The other part of me, the business part, knew I should stay close to Bo. They were making my job easy by inviting me.

  ‘‘Of course Zach will accept,’’ HARV said to the ladies.

  Melda’s entire face started to glow, not actually (you can never be sure with these ladies), but she still lit up the area around her with her sparkle. She clasped her hands together. ‘‘Splendid,’’ she said. She pondered for a second. ‘‘You don’t have any allergies. Do you?’’

  ‘‘Neither of them do,’’ HARV said.

  ‘‘Great, then let’s say 1900 hours, standard Moon time,’’ Melda said.

  ‘‘That’s seven o’clock,’’ HARV whispered needlessly in my ear. Sometimes I don’t think HARV has a lot of faith in me.

  ‘‘We’ll be there,’’ I said. ‘‘Then tomorrow morning I can see Electra?’’

  Melda lowered her head and her lips curled upward in a polite, politically correct smile. ‘‘Of course.’’

  ‘‘See you tonight then,’’ I said closing the door.

  Carol and I started into the hotel. I heard another of the shuttle’s door close behind us. I winced. That could only mean I didn’t close the door properly the first time or that somebody else had gotten out of the car. I knew it had to be the second.

  ‘‘Wait a nano please,’’ Lea called.

  DOS, I hate it when I’m right. Against my better judgment I turned. Lea had popped out of the shuttle and was heading toward us. My first instinct was to run. I fought it. If I’ve learned anything over the course of my career, it’s that life is easy when the superwomen are on your side. You don’t want to piss off somebody who can melt you with a thought. I stopped walking, turned, and started talking. ‘‘Yes, Lea?’’

  Lea was back to the calm controlled Lea. She held out her hand to me. I accepted it. ‘‘I’d better walk you to your rooms,’’ she said.

  ‘‘I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself,’’ I said.

  ‘‘Plus he has me,’’ Carol added.

  ‘‘And me,’’ HARV added.

  ‘‘Don’t forget me!’’ GUS chirped from under my sleeve.

  Lea squeezed my hand a bit tighter. ‘‘Yes, but you are on my world now,’’ she said. ‘‘I feel I would be amiss if I didn’t bodyguard you myself.’’

  ‘‘Fine,’’ I said with a little bow, swinging my arm gently toward the door. ‘‘Lead the way.’’

  Lea entered the hotel with us in tow. A couple of ape bellhops hopped toward us, eager for tips. They weren’t going to let the little detail that we had no luggage stop them. I looked around the hotel’s lobby. It was big, inviting, and quite empty. No wonder why the apes were tip mining. Lea waved them away though without a word. The apes obviously knew who she was as they didn’t even attempt to try to help us. The nano she made it clear to them to stay clear, they stopped, turned, and sulked away.

  As we walked through the lobby to the elevator, Carol picked up on my vibe.

  ‘‘Why is the place so empty?’’ she asked.

  ‘‘Remember, due to the ARC convention the Moon is closed to Earth travel,’’ she said.

  ‘‘I still would have thought there’d be a few leftover Earthers around,’’ Carol said.

  We reached the elevator. Lea pushed a button. She turned to Carol. ‘‘You thought wrong,’’ she said.

  Carol’s eyes glazed over. ‘‘Yes, I thought wrong.’’

  The elevator door opened. Lea walked in, I followed. Carol just stood there. ‘‘Come,’’ Lea said to Carol.

  Carol trailed us in.

  ‘‘I assume you are going to the suite section,’’ the elevator said.

  ‘‘Correct,’’ Lea said.

  I felt the elevator moving upward.

  I grabbed Lea by the arm hard, not too hard, just enough so she knew I meant business. ‘‘What’s the deal with mind sweeping Carol?’’ I asked.

  ‘‘Stop!’’ Lea ordered.

  ‘‘But we are between floors,’’ the elevator protested.

  ‘‘I know,’’ Lea said. ‘‘Now stop or I will fry your circuits.’’

  The elevator came to a jarring halt. I prepared to go for my gun.

  ‘‘No need for your weapon,’’ Lea told me.

  DOS, she was good.

  ‘‘If I wanted to hurt you, you’d be a pile of dust by now,’’ she said.

  Yep, she and Elena were related all right.

  ‘‘So what’s this all about?’’ I said using my best tough guy voice and icy swagger.

  Lea smiled. She gave me a dismissive touch on the shoulder. I’m sorry to say, it worked. The ice melted. It took all my strength not to drop to my back with my legs raised in the air. The smile on her face froze then reversed.

  ‘‘HARV, are you still with me?’’ I thought.

  Silence.

  ‘‘I’ve blocked the connection you have with your computer via your brain and shut down your communicator,’’ Lea answered.

  Not a good sign; but I didn’t mind.

  ‘‘You know Ona, Twoa, and Threa,’’ she said.

  I had to play this one coy. Well I didn’t have to, I wanted to. I didn’t need Lea thinking she could have her way with me.

  ‘‘Don’t play coy with me, Zach. I know you have them on your friends list.’’

  I decided to stick with the strong, silent type.

  ‘‘If that’s how you want to play it,’’ Lea said.

  The elevator started to plummet. I watched in horror as the holographic numbers over the door dropped from forties almost instantly to thirty then the twenties.

  I braced myself against the wall. I supported Carol. ‘‘I’m familiar with them,’’ I said, hurriedly.

  Lea smiled again. ‘‘See, that wasn’t so hard! I could have ripped it out of your mind, but I need your mind in one piece.’’

  The elevator came to a controlled stop, far smoother than I would have guessed possible. The holographic numbers on the door started clicking upward.

  ‘‘Warning! Warning!’’ the elevator shouted. ‘‘My system was offline. I detect that we have dropped thirty-three floors from my last known position. Are all my passengers okay? Your safety is important to me. And not just because of potential lawsuits.’’

  ‘‘We’re fine, elevator,’’ Lea said, without unlocking her gaze from me.

  ‘‘It doesn’t hurt to be on good speaking terms with the three most powerful woman on the planet,’’ I added.

  Lea rolled her eyes. ‘‘On your planet,’’ she said.

  ‘‘I don’t think this is about who’s more powerful than who,’’ I said.
<
br />   Lea nodded her head. ‘‘You’re right. For now it isn’t.’’ She thought for a nano, ‘‘You need to convince them to vote for the Moon’s freedom.’’ She thought a bit more. ‘‘And they need to convince others.’’

  Now I shook my head. ‘‘I don’t think those three women can be convinced of anything.’’ After saying that I was starting to see why they just might be perfect for politics.

  Lea touched me gently on the shoulder again. This was more out of compassion than a power play. ‘‘For the sake of everybody on Earth, I hope you are wrong,’’ she said, talking as much with her eyes and heart as her mouth. ‘‘Talk to them. Make them see the light or else the dark will soon follow.’’

  The elevator came to a halt. The door opened. We were at my suite. Carol came around. HARV came back online.

  ‘‘I will see you at dinner,’’ Lea said. ‘‘I hope you will have good news for me.’’

  ‘‘I’ll see what I can do.’’

  Carol and I walked out of the elevator. We watched in silence as the door closed.

  ‘‘What was that all about?’’ Carol asked.

  ‘‘Lea wants me to relay a message that I’m a little teapot, short and stout . . . ,’’ I sang.

  ‘‘Why does Lea want you to tell people that?’’ Carol asked.

  Ah, DOS! I thought. Lea has spammed my brain.

  ‘‘That’s not what I wanted to say,’’ I said, ‘‘but if I try to say,’’ I paused. I sang, ‘‘I’m a little teapot, short and stout . . .’’ I frowned.

  ‘‘Wow, you have a terrible voice,’’ Carol said.

  HARV appeared. ‘‘Lea must have put a mental block in you preventing you from telling us what she told you.’’

  ‘‘Duh . . .’’ I said.

  ‘‘No need to get snippy,’’ HARV said. ‘‘Really, Zach, it’s not our fault you get yourself into such problems.’’

  Carol and I looked at each other. Carol almost always looked like she came from a fashion shoot, every hair, every lash, everything, just where it should be. Not at this moment though. She wasn’t exactly disheveled, but far closer to it than I had ever seen her.