Returning Home

by Toni Shiloh

  Evan knew his mother still carried a grudge against his ex-girlfriend, but it paled in comparison to how he felt right now. She had left him, left him stranded in a hospital with a missing leg. Granted, she hadn’t waltzed out of the place but she certainly never looked back.

  Brenda sat down, pulling her black-and-white purse onto her lap. Her cropped-style hair made her appear more angelic and petite. Evan recalled from memory how small she was. She barely made it to his shoulders...when he stood, that is.

  He stared at her, trying to find the words to begin.

  “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m here.” The softness of her words grated against every nerve in his body.

  “It crossed my mind.” The harshness of his tone echoed.

  “I wanted to see how you were doing.” Her eyes dipped downward in sadness.

  Her doe eyes were accented by white eye shadow which made them all the more piercing. Why was he noticing these details? “Wow, you care now, huh?”

  “Evan, you know I care.”

  “Do I? How do I know that? Was it the many calls you placed to my room? The daily visits?” He snapped his fingers. “I know. It was the time you took to bring me my favorite foods.” He made a tsking noise. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t you. You didn’t come except to say you were breaking up with me. Well, you’re about six months too late.”

  “I can see that.” She looked away as if gathering her thoughts. When she looked back, resignation filled her face. “I just wanted to be sure that you’re doing well.”

  Evan snorted. “That’s the only reason you came? To see if I’m doing well?” He couldn’t believe her. He never had a reason to distrust Brenda before, but that was before she decided she couldn’t handle a ‘cripple’ for a boyfriend.

  “Well, no.” She stared at her hands. “The real reason I came was because I miss you.” She looked back up and made direct eye contact. “Since you moved back here, I’ve become aware of this gaping hole in my life. The one you used to fill.” Her voice had gotten softer as she continued, ending on a barely held back sob.

  I’m going to be sick. Disgust filled his being. He couldn’t help it. Her tears weren’t going to work on him. In the past, this would have been the point he would rush to her and console her. But all he felt now was anger and betrayal. She’d professed to love him, and when the going got tough she left. That wasn’t love.

  JO JUMPED OUT OF HER truck, eager to see Evan. She’d stopped at the local deli to bring him his favorite sub. Of course lately, she’d use any excuse to see him. It seemed like days instead of hours since they last talked.

  She walked up the B&B’s front porch and rang the doorbell. Excitement, or maybe the cold, shook her body. She stared at the spot where the hole used to be. She’d finally plugged it the other night. Right before Evan had kissed her good night. Who knew he found a working woman in overalls so desirable. Her face warmed at the memory.

  Mrs. Carter opened the door. “Good afternoon, Jo Ellen. What brings you here?”

  Her brow wrinkled in confusion. Mrs. Carter always ushered her in with a warm hug. Why was she blocking the doorway? Her features seemed strained, the smile false.

  “I brought Evan a meatball sub.” Unease tingled her spine.

  “Oh, how nice, dear. I’ll make sure he gets it.” Mrs. Carter reached for the bag.

  Jo backed up. “How about I give it to him myself, Marilyn?”

  “Oh honey, now’s not a good time.”

  “Why? Is he feeling bad? Did something happen?”

  The older woman’s eyes softened. “He’s fine. I just don’t think now’s a good time.”

  “Excuse me, Mrs. Carter.”

  Jo raised an eyebrow as a woman’s voice spoke behind Evan’s mom. Did they have a guest? She thought they took the month of December off?

  Marilyn threw a worried glance at Jo then moved aside. A petite woman stood behind her, clearly startled when she saw Jo. Her eyes were red-rimmed, but that was the only sign that she wasn’t composed. Her black-and-white-checkered peacoat had been cinched tightly at her waist, and a white scarf spilled over at the neckline. The whole ensemble seemed to match which, guessing from the gold label, also cost a pretty penny. She looked like she had been shopping in Michelle’s closet.

  Suddenly, Jo felt very self-conscious in her jeans and giant red parka. She shifted to the side as the woman slipped out. Her eyes fixed upon the woman’s retreating back. When she faded from sight, Jo turned back to the house. Evan sat in his chair, looking troubled, and there was no sign of Marilyn.

  Jo stepped inside, closing the door. “Hey, Ev, you okay?”

  “Long day.” He rubbed the back of his neck.

  The atmosphere felt oppressive. What had happened since the last time she spoke to him? Jo cleared her throat. “Brought you a sub.” She held out the bag, no longer feeling jubilant, but not sure why. Did that woman have something to do with his downcast face? “Who was that? I thought your mom didn’t take guests in December.”

  “She doesn’t.” He sighed and ran a hand down his face. “That was my ex-girlfriend.”

  What? Jo stepped back, suddenly feeling lightheaded. “What was she doing here?” Her voice sounded shaky to her ears. She swallowed.

  “Apparently, she wanted to ‘check on me.’” He rolled his eyes, then rolled around, presumably headed for the kitchen.

  She followed, but her steps felt unsteady. His ex must want him back. That was the only logical explanation for her to travel out here to ‘check on him.’ Jo wanted so badly to ask Evan if that’s what his ex wanted, but a part of her was afraid to hear the answer. Although, if the woman’s red-rimmed eyes were any indication, she didn’t get what she came for. The thought added a small measure of comfort.

  Evan grabbed a plate from the counter and put it on his lap. He wheeled to the table. “Are you going to eat with me? I know there’s more than a sub in that bag.”

  “Sure.” She sat down on the bench seat. Eating no longer sounded appetizing. Not when her insides churned, imagining the conversation that had happened moments before.

  “Hey, why the long face?”

  “Does she want you back?” The words flew free as a bird. Jo couldn’t grab them back and didn’t want to either. She needed to know what she was up against.

  “So she claims.”

  “And you don’t believe her?” Her hands fisted in her parka pockets. Was Evan just saying what he thought she wanted to hear?

  “I believe her as far as I can throw her.” His lip curled in disgust. “And if she is telling the truth, then I don’t care. You don’t walk all over someone and then expect them to just give you a second chance.”

  The bitterness flowing from his mouth shocked her. She had no idea he harbored such resentment. Did that mean he still cared for his ex? “You wanted me to give you another chance.”

  His eyes widened in surprise. “Come on, that’s not even the same thing.”

  “Why not?”

  “I was a teenager for heaven’s sake. And furthermore, the two of us weren’t even dating, let alone engaged!”

  She jumped back as he shouted.

  Engaged? They were engaged?

  “I thought she was just a girlfriend?” How she managed to croak out the words she couldn’t even fathom.

  “Jo,” he sighed wearily, rubbing his forehead. “I was going to propose that night, but got my leg chopped off instead.”

  “Don’t give me attitude, Evan Carter. You know good and well that’s something that should be disclosed in a relationship.”

  “We’ve only been on one date.” He held a finger up as the words echoed in the air.

  “What?” she whispered. A tear slipped out before Jo could stifle it. She swiped at it, angry that she had let him see how much his words hurt.

  “Jo, I didn’t mean that like it sounded.”

  “Sure, forgive me if I don’t believe you or want to give you another chance right now.” She stalked out of th
e kitchen.

  Stupid!

  How could she have believed that he would ever truly change? She stormed past Mrs. Carter, eyes cloudy with unshed tears.

  “Jo, come back.”

  She kept walking, ignoring Evan’s pleas, and slammed the door shut. Jo didn’t stop until she made it into the cab of her truck. As she shut the door, tears fell freely and sobs wracked her body.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Evan stared up at the ceiling. Once again, he’d ended up in a bed. But this time, he had the strength to hobble to the hallway where his chair waited for him. This time he wasn’t plagued with the nightmare of his crash.

  No. Instead, his nightmare had been the look on Jo’s face when he mentioned they’d only been on one date. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the image. Unfortunately, the look of hurt on her face became more clear. The sheen of tears glossing over her beautiful brown eyes took a prominent place in his mind’s eye. No matter what he did, he couldn’t escape the hurt that he’d caused Jo.

  He called her repeatedly, but she wouldn’t answer. Her voicemail was registered as full and no longer accepting any messages. Which left him alone, in the butler’s pantry, to stare up at the ceiling. It always came down to him and the ceiling.

  Alone.

  With his thoughts.

  Why did Brenda have to come back? If she hadn’t arrived, he and Jo would be just fine. But no, she wanted to ask for a second chance. And what was with Jo reminding him of his own second-chance request. The two weren’t even on the same playing field.

  One night. One drunk driver. And poof. His life as he knew it had been over. He lost the job, lost the girl, and now he was in danger of losing Jo. The one who really mattered, judging by the ache in his chest. He knew loving her wouldn’t be easy.

  A knock sounded.

  “Come in,” he heaved out. Talking was just a waste of energy. If his mother wasn’t knocking to tell him Jo was here, then he didn’t want to hear anything else.

  “Ev, you want something to eat?” His mom peered at him as if assessing how severe his pity party was.

  “No, thanks, Mom.”

  “Good.” She nodded briskly. “Because Brenda’s back. Now, you won’t have to worry about losing your lunch.”

  “What?” He sat up straight. Why was she back? What more was there to say?

  “She’s in the parlor.” A look of sympathy flashed across her face. “Do you want me to leave her there or what?”

  Evan ran a hand over his face. It was bad enough she came yesterday. Two days in a row was a bit much. “Yeah, fine. I’ll be there in a few.”

  His mother nodded and left the door open. He took a deep breath and stood up, leaning on the dresser. Evan stood there, indecision warring through his mind. Should he remain in the chair? Would he feel better if he could look down on her? Taking a chance, he grabbed his crutches that Julie had recently given to him. He hobbled into the parlor on them.

  Brenda looked up, startled. “You’re...you’re walking.” Her mouth dropped open and the wide, doe-eyed stare got bigger.

  “They’re just crutches,” he huffed.

  “Have you tried a prosthetic?”

  He clenched his jaw. “How is that your concern?”

  “I’m sorry. I just...I just want to make sure you’re doing well.”

  “Yeah, you said that yesterday. I’m fine.” He indicated toward the door with his head. “You can leave now.”

  Brenda stood, wrapping her hands around the strap of her purse. “I didn’t get to tell you everything yesterday.”

  Ugh. “Just get on with it already.”

  “Fine,” she snapped. “I’m so sorry I can’t move on as swiftly as you can.”

  “Are you kidding me?” By the shocked look on her face, he knew she was serious. Unbelievable. “You left me. Me, the one you’d been dating for two years. Two years! But as soon I got more than half my leg chopped off, you left. So excuse me, if I don’t join your pity party. You’ve disrupted my life enough, so just say what you have to say and leave me alone.”

  His heart pumped so fast, Evan thought he might fall over. He could feel his pulse pounding in his head. His eyes glazed over as the anger swelled and took over his body.

  “Thomas called me. He didn’t know how to get in touch with you. They want you back.”

  He blinked. What?

  Evan blinked again, staring down at the empty pants leg. They wanted him back? But...he was missing a leg. How useful could he be as a coach?

  Brenda continued. “He wanted me to pass the information on to you and ask that you call him.”

  Her words stunned the beast inside and his anger fizzled out. They wanted him back.

  “He gave me his card with all his contact information.” She pulled a business card out of her purse and held her hand out.

  He took it, but it was like he watched the scene from above. They wanted him back.

  “Evan, I know how you feel about me and I understand. But don’t let that stop you from getting your old job back. I know how much it meant to you to coach basketball at the high school.” Brenda looked down as if she didn’t know what else to say. A sigh escaped her lips. Everything she did had a gentleness to it. Always had.

  And now he wondered what she hid with it.

  “Anyway, just call Thomas. I’ll stay out of your hair.” She sidestepped him and headed down the hallway.

  “Brenda, wait.”

  “Yes?” She whirled around, almost falling from the speed of it.

  “Is that why you really came? To deliver Thomas’ message?”

  “No, that was just the excuse I needed.”

  A pause.

  An inhale.

  “Goodbye, Evan.” A look of resignation filled her face, and she walked away.

  JO WAS SUPPOSED TO be at Evan’s house finishing his master bathroom, but she couldn’t go there. Not today and not after what happened yesterday. She stood on her Nana’s front porch, legs jiggling to keep her warm.

  She knocked again. What was taking her so long? It never took her this long to answer. She frowned as her upper thigh vibrated. Jo reached into her jeans pocket and pulled out her cell.

  “Hello?”

  “May I speak to Jo Ellen Baker.”

  The man’s voice was kind, but she had no idea who it was. “Speaking.”

  “Miss Baker, this is Dr. Daniel Philips at Freedom Lake Hospital. I’m calling you regarding your grandmother, Rosemary Baker. She asked us to contact you.”

  “What? What’s wrong with her?” She glanced at Nana’s front door. No wonder she wasn’t answering.

  “First you need to know that she’s in stable condition. She’s had a heart attack. We’re in the process of doing some tests to get a full prognosis.” He continued on, but it didn’t penetrate the fear roaring in her ears.

  “I’ll be right there.” She jumped into the car.

  Please, Lord, please. Don’t let her die. Please, she’s the only other person who loves me.

  The key shook as she tried to get it into the ignition. Why wouldn’t her hand stop shaking? “Come on!” She slammed her hand against the steering wheel. Sobs racked her body as her control slipped precariously. She was in no condition to drive. She dialed Michelle.

  “Hey, girl.”

  “Nana just had a heart attack. The doctor called. I need to get to the hospital right now, only my hand won’t stop shaking and I can’t get my truck to start.” Her last words ended on a sob as her body once again began to shake.

  “Where are you?”

  “At her place.”

  “I’ll be right there, don’t move.”

  Jo hung up, her hands still shaking. Her pulse pounding. Tears ran down her face, and she knew any minute her nose would join the disaster.

  Please, Lord, please. Don’t let her die.

  Trust Me.

  A sob escaped Jo and her hand flew to her mouth to muffle the sound. She’s my grandmother! She’s more of
a mother to me than my own. Please, don’t take her.

  Trust Me.

  “Open the door, JoJo.”

  She glanced at the window and noticed Michelle. Her friend motioned for her to get out. Jo complied and Michelle immediately wrapped her arms around her. “I’m here, girl. I’m here.”

  As Michelle drove to the hospital, Jo couldn’t contain her tears. They fell without restraint as she pleaded with God the entire way.

  Once at the hospital, Jo walked up and down the halls. She couldn’t sit. Couldn’t remain in the spot where she’d received the news that her father had passed away. Nana had gone into surgery over an hour ago. The doctor informed her that her grandmother had hardened plaque in her arteries. They were going to do bypass surgery.

  She was so scared. It was like the nightmare of her dad’s death repeated all over again, sort of a depressing twist to that movie Groundhog’s Day. And she desperately wanted to call Evan. The desire to hear his voice, to hear his words of comfort, called to her. Except, every time she went to dial his number, the echo of his words greeted her. We’ve only been on one date.

  The words hit her like a punch to the gut. It took her breath away. She hadn’t told anyone what had happened. It had been the reason she went to see Nana Baker. Now the one person who could offer comfort was lying on an operating table, fighting for her life.

  Life was so unfair.

  Jo glanced over at Michelle. The girl had refused to leave her alone at the hospital. She wanted to unload and share her anxieties, but Jo didn’t know if Michelle was the best person to help her. Why couldn’t she trust anyone?

  What’s wrong with me, God?

  A tear dropped and she wiped it away, turning to face the window. She felt so alone. She felt...forsaken.

  Trust Me.

  She heard the words, but her heart felt closed off. How could she trust Him when she was so alone?

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  A few hours later, the sound of footsteps jolted Jo from her slumped-over perch in a waiting room chair. She straightened up, looking around to get her bearings. Her mother sat in a chair and, if that wasn’t shocking enough, Darius had shown up. Jo hadn’t wanted to call them, but Michelle had insisted, then promptly left upon their arrival. Vanessa was, big surprise, out of town. Dr. Philips strode down the corridor, headed their way.