Wanting him back

by Mary Norton

- I do, asshole. - Cry with him. - You can leave it here, sir. Look, Joaquim, I hope you have a good reason to be hiding it.

  - I have, and please, even if you do not like, do not hate me, okay? All I do is to see my little sister happy. Now get out there.

  Rolling my eyes I try to calm down a bit, but I go anyway.

  - I'll kill you if anything happens to my babies.

  That said I leave my apartment and go to where you will be my newest job.

  15

  Joaquim is strange, by the way Cass look at it, I know she feels the same way. And the way he opens and closes his right hand, says he did something he should not.

  - What's wrong with your hand? - I wonder how those who do not want anything.

  As everyone in the family, Joaquim can not hide when you're lying. And the way he looks desperate for his wife, just says to me that there's something going on.

  - I had the prowess to fall when I got off the car last night. I just grated palm.

  I look at Cass who returns the look with an arched eyebrow.

  - And how his knuckles are bruised too? - My sister caught him in a lie.

  If I was not wondering why he was lying, he would be laughing at the silly guy he is doing now. Joaquim drops his briefcase and fumbles when all bends to pick it up.

  - I supported with the palm and then with his fist, Cassandra. So it is hurt.

  I take my coffee and Cass finished chewing his food.

  - What a strange way to find out that my brother is masochistic.

  Bianca turns to look at us and did not resist and surrenders to laugh. Today is the day that we will all go back to work. I, my father and brother are going to the clinic before nine. Even on Friday and Saturday we stayed up late, arranging everything and training girls who will work at the front desk, do not want to be caught off guard by anything that can go wrong.

  Cass is inda to school where he works. Put away the contents of the first half of their brats. And Bianca goes with it, to know the school where your child will be. I, being a tease, asked a thousand times if they trust Cass to educate their daughter. The first few times, my sister just got angry after that started to pretend he was not with her.

  - Go get ready before I end up leaving you here on purpose. - Tell Cass when you take your daughter.

  She runs to her room while I stare at my phone.

  Three unknown number of messages. Five missed calls. And I will not read and do not meet. The sound of the Opening Game Of Thrones begins to sound again. Number that is not in my contacts. I leave the phone ringing until it stops, but humans are annoying when they want. And my phone starts ringing again.

  - You will not answer? - My sister asks when Nicole leaves the bag beside me.

  - No!

  It does not say anything else and will take your coffee. Without waiting for them, I take my car and go to work. When I pick up the keys on the table, I see the roses I received last week. They are beginning to wither, but Mom will make them stay beautiful for a few more days.

  This will not ruin my mood. Coming out of my parents' house, I get in my car and go where I can have full attention on something other than my broken heart and not the psychopath who is calling me every half hour.

  - I was wrong with you, the way I was wrong with Peter Hale.

  I pull the car out of the house. With the radio on, start to play the old. Increase the volume, not the least bit worried about noise pollution. But it is not noise pollution when it comes to the king. Hearing the letter now, I might as well answer the phone and let the asshole listen to what music can tell me.

  You have a whole life to live

  And knowing what is good and what is bad

  It is better to think quickly and to choose

  Before the end

  From now on

  Everything will be different

  You have to learn to be people

  His pride is worth nothing, nothing

  You do not know

  And never sought to know

  When we love for real

  Well it is to be happy and nothing more, nothing

  - I would have taught you how to live in truth, idiot. - Whisper when I grab the steering wheel tighter. - I would have given you all of me, because that's what people do when they love. Damn it! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot.

  Extravaso all my rage these days on the steering wheel. I hate that he try to contact, hate that he makes me think back to it. I hate that he is still the last person I think about before bed. I hate that I still cry every night.

  - Stop your a spoiled girl, Juli. - I mean looking at the sign. - You're bigger than that.

  I wish if the words were magic and do everything better. But not. Life is cruel, and does not care if we can with it or not. But it's good, every creeping, you learn to get up and no longer hurts more next fall.

  I park in one of seven places that clinic has. There are two cars next to my telling me that some of the doctors arrived.

  I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

  Dear God. That all that will do is the best. That all decisions are taken wisely. My concepts continue to be the same. Give me wisdom and control. Amen!

  I enter the room and see who started it all. And it makes me smile widely.

  And I lose half of my day as well. Tidying little things and helping the girls on reception. They are smart and quick grab things. And doctors are patient and good-humored. I very much hope that things stay that way.

  Dad and Joaquim will not have lunch now, so it's my cue to flee. After lunch, things started to calm down a bit, but still has much work to be done. Picking up my wallet purse, my extension rings.

  - Sorry, Miss Juliane. But it has a representative wanting to talk to you.

  The girl on the phone seems uncertain. I look at the clock and see that it's quarter past two and I have not had lunch.

  - If you want, I can ask him to come back another time.

  I can not avoid. I smile when I hear it. A few weeks ago, it was me who said it, not people who were with me. That twist, huh, Juliane ?!

  - No, all right, you can leave it up, but after him, I'll have lunch, my legs are shaking.

  - Of course. - I hear her say it may come before hanging up the phone.

  When'm sitting, the door opens, revealing my most terrible nightmare in person. It is really terrible. There is a large bruise on her left cheek. The right side of his lower lip is cut. And the two steps he has to go, I saw how he held on the left ribs.

  But his unexpected and destroyed arrival does not make me feel sorry for him. His blue eyes are full of fear and longing.

  - What do you think you're doing here? - I asked him going back to my desk. Putting some barrier between us.

  Augusto continues to face me, I see when he winces when breathing deeply. He still does not answer me. He comes to me, not calling to find out if I'm the glaring with the look or not.

  - You are so Beautiful. - He kneels in front of me. Her fingers reach a layer of my hair short. Augusto feel the texture of it, as if it were their main food.

  I push my chair back away from him.

  - Look, I do not know what you think you're doing and I do not care. - Lie. - I'm in my new job and do not want you to spoil it too.

  I did not intend to hurt him, but it happened. I do not want any of us get more hurt than we are already. And this here is all I tried to avoid. So I came away.

  Augusto does not say anything, he just lays her head on my legs and looking at my hands. I hesitate for a few seconds, but only with a simple contact, I give to him.

  It's because you love this idiot.

  I say nothing, wait for him to do. In our last conversation, he wished me all the best and that I hoped to be happy. I took it from him and took my decisions deciding what was best for me. And the distance was everything I needed it all.

  - Augusto?

  - Excuse me. - Said hoarsely.

  - What are you doing? - I ask hesitantly.

  Augusto
lifts his head and holding my hands in his, he answers me.

  - I needed to see you.

  - Well, you've seen me, actually. I could have asked for a 3x4 photo that I would not mind.

  He presses his lips and I think it hurt when did it because shudders. But still manages to smile.

  - You do not answer my calls.

  I do not answer it. He knows he do not answer numbers I do not know. Taking a deep breath again, Augusto sees me and starts talking.

  - I broke up with Paula, finished with everything.

  I know my eyes are wide at that point.

  - I should have done it when I found out about the betrayal. - Said pathetically. - I thought I loved her at the time, tried to do things right because he thought she was the woman of my life. - He gets up slowly and secure his left ribs.

  - Sit down. I hate you, but do not like to see any human being in pain. - I get up, I give back and do sit.

  He seems grateful and admired it.

  - You have the most beautiful heart I have ever known, Juli. - Said simply.

  Nod your chin up so that it continues to speak.

  - But I was only settled with the life that was having with her. The things we did, the plans, all I thought it was what I wanted next to the woman who for me was all, but was merely a stupid way to get everything I wanted, all I wanted. That would be more than happy with it. - Augusto looks away, as if in pain to say those things. - But it was not.

  - You say that because you had the heart hurt.

  He gives me a look of anger. As if to strangle me for saying that. But soon his features change.

  - I also thought so, so be finished soon with her, accepted the idea of taking a break. But deep down, I knew we could not continue.

  I sit at the table. His eyes go to my arms crossed under my breasts. Snap your fingers for him to stay focused.

  - Excuse me! - Said clearing his throat. - I was lost, wondering where in my life I lost. Because that was what I was. Lost.

  He gets up. And hold my hands when I try to make him feel again.

  - No, I want to be near you. - Augusto holds my hand. - I did not discover this until you, Juliane.

  It's my turn to look away.

  - I did not know I was missing something until I found suddenly. Until I saw how things fit together, until I lost again. - His hand holds my chin, making me face him. - Paula was just a false glow that I thought was important in my life. - Your thumb circumvents my lips lightly. Having it so close too, makes me stupid and sad too.

  He looks into my eyes and see something that makes you swallow.

  - I could not have it with her. And I would not know it if she had not done all that back there. And I do not find that was ruining my life. - Your hand down my neck and let it happen.

  Even though I hate me later. Me feel weak and stupid, I miss that. I miss him.

  - Do you know who made it happen, Juliane? - He asks with the next my mouth.

  I have to answer that question?

  His hand put my hair behind her ear. His hot breath on my face cause chills. I squeeze my hands on the table, avoiding to touch it. Feel your skin. Preventing me from succumbing to the desire I have for this man.

  - You, Juli. - He kisses my forehead and continues with his lips on it for several seconds. Squeeze even more my hands on the table. - You were the light that was missing in my life. I was so stupid for not realizing it before. I just did not realize what it was, even if he had a neon light indicating you. But when you went away ... - Augusto hesitantly, clean the tears falling from my face. - I died a little. I felt nothing, not even when Paula betrayed me. Nothing came close to the pain that my heart suffered when I was not with you. You ... you ... Wow! Amazing. Intelligent, smart, good-natured, beautiful. - He looks good in my eyes. His pale eyes are lustful holdover. - Damn girl, determined, with a bit of madness that makes me laugh at any time. With its chatter I do not know live without.

  I look at him, considering everything he said. I wanted to hear it that night he left me alone after almost have begged him to choose me. I wanted this to happen, instead of him stepping on my heart.

  I go to the side and go out from him. Wiping the tears fall, I pronounce me about your sudden urge to pack up.

  - Do you think coming here and saying all this will make me forgive you and throw me in your arms? For your face, you thought it. But I can not, Augusto. I can not forget you left me without thinking. - A sob breaks my speech. - You can not just come here and ...

  - I chose you, Juli. - He is quick to tell me that. - You are important to me. You are the only important thing. I love you, dammit!

  I shudder when he says it.

  - The crazy here I am. Not you. Do not try to take me. - Shooting my glasses and squeeze my eyes. - You said you chose me, but until when? Even when I'm going to be important to you? Who can assure me that you will not leave me for another socialite blonde who is heir to something? And besides, I do not believe you.

  We stared at each other for several minutes. Until I, not putting up more, I give the conversation closed.

  - Look, you lost time traveling here. I will not return with you. I do not have anything there. Everything I have is here. Just ... just go away, Augusto. I'm not asking you very much.

  I reach for my wallet and when I'm leaving, I see the package near my printer.

  - I brought you fries with bacon. - He says stopping behind me. - Coca-Cola, his brother is bringing, I know you do not like it hot, so ...

  He leaves the sentence in the air.

  - I'll show you that I chose you forever.

  Ω

  Five days later

  I can find me after two days of change. Everything is in its place. For my father and brother were here, as the punishment they act behind my back. But it was easy to forgive, because my brother was proud to tell me that it was he who caused the bruises on Augustus. So the bruises on his hands. Well, that was a big question for him to be the brother of the year.

  I am not in favor of violence. But I accept the act when it comes to a brother who wants to avenge the sister who had heart hurt by some idiot.

  The bell of my apartment touches. For a stupid thing I open without looking through the peephole. And I regret that.

  Augusto is in front of me, in a black shorts, the same color as your race. He has letters in his hands.

  - Hi, I live next door. - He points to the apartment on the left. - I took by mistake his cards.

  Augusto extends the cards for me and I get more lost than any people start to watch a series for a third season.

  - My brother too beat in your head?

  He laughs and scratches his beard is beginning to grow.

  - I know your brother?

  Oh my God. Joaquim left sequelae in poor guy.

  - I thought I'd meet my neighbor, but I end up having a lovely surprise. - He reaches out - Pleasure, my name is Augusto, just moved.

  - Juliane.

  It's automatic response.

  - I'm new here, I thought it could help me to know the city.

  Scowling at him, I give a direct answer.

  - Sorry, but the last time I helped a guy, it turned out just to end my life.

  Augusto even hesitate with my sudden anger. It looks pretty quiet with himself.

  - He was an asshole then.

  - You described well. So good hunting for someone to help you. I really can not.

  - Give me a chance. - He says begging. And I realize that this is not a game to him. It's my Augusto talking now. - Damn, Juli, I'm here. Living on his side, saying I'll stay with you. What else do you want?

  Now he is crying. Oh my father, here comes my first shack in the building.

  - Want me to kneel for you? I do. - He falls to his knees in front of me and holds my waist. - I give a desperate attack, Juliane.

  I take a deep breath and count to ten.

  - Goes into. - I say through gritted teeth. - Now.

  He gets up quickly and goes
in my apartment.

  - Seven steps back, or I'll throw you on the seventh floor and I'm not care if I will be arrested or not.

  Augusto sees me nervous, but do what I ask. I swear I try to stay calm, but I can not.

  - You are making me crazy. Chasing me at work, helping my mother in the market. Now living on my side. What the hell is this? Has given it, Augustus. You're getting psychopath.

  - You are creating one. - He approaches me. - I am getting crazy. Is that even possible? Go crazy for not being close to someone you love? It's crazy to leave the new home to go after someone you love? It's crazy to rent an apartment next to the person who loves to be closer to her? It's crazy staring at a picture of her before bed? To wonder the beautiful daughters that she would give you. Thankful of nonsense that she does, but no matter, as it leaves its most amazing life. Tell me, Juliane? I am getting crazy?

  Augusto seems desperate. But the way he says it makes me want to hit him in the face for several minutes.

  - You could have had it, Augustus.

  It's the only thing I tell him.

  He gets the slap without grumbling. I should not do this, but it's a little revenge. His shoulders slump and with a last breath he goes away from my apartment. I look at the clock and hope to three minutes.

  Augustus was so strong playing his feelings for me, which I felt to the last vein attached to my heart. It's obvious that he chose me. He will be with me. I can still see the truth in his eyes. I can feel the feeling in his words. And that day at the clinic, I knew he would not accept my first "no" and return home with their tails between their legs.

  But I had to assert that I am more important than him. I was not just declare your love, that everything would be right. But I knew he could not say "no" to the man who chose me. What changed all plans to show me that I am more important than anything in the world for him.

  Closing my apartment, I take a few steps and knock on your door. I hear your grumbling across the door and smile with your bad mood. Lucky for him I realized that I love you and I forgive you. Because if you follow the plan of my sister, he would be suffering more than that.

  - The ... Uh ... Juli? The ... - He does not talk much.

  - First of all: This is your last chance.