Size Matters

by Stephanie Haefner

  The women pulled up chairs to the front counter. Bryn poured drinks, Mia handed out plates and plastic ware, and Penny brought up her notes on the computer.

  “I already filled Gilles in on our retro theme and he loved it,” Penny said. “I want to show him the catalogue with the lingerie we plan on ordering for the show.”

  “I’m all for neon, as you can tell.” He smiled and scooped some Caprese salad onto his plate. “And I adore eighties and nineties music. Reminds me of my youth and all the inebriated joy I had back then. The things I’ve seen and done,” he said with a wink, “would make you ladies blush.”

  “I think it’s going to be a fabulous party,” Bryn said. “It will be fun to coordinate lingerie with music. We need some really upbeat songs. Maybe some cheeky stuff. I want everyone dancing and singing along.”

  “Exactly.” Gilles sipped his soda. “And I’ll have my bartender come up with some kind of signature cocktail for the night. Something tasty and pretty to look at.”

  “Love it. And we need favors to hand out. Something people can wear to enhance the party. Are glow bracelets and necklaces lame? Or maybe jelly bracelets and those plastic glasses with the lines across them?”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Mia said, the voice of responsibility and practicality speaking up. “We need to watch how much money we spend. We already ordered colored condoms and flavored lube samples to hand out. I’m not sure we need more party favors than that.”

  “Everyone loves a fun trinket.” Gilles smiled at Mia. “I’ll handle those, honey. Can you just picture the whole crowd decked out in those cheesy eighties glasses? It will be fabulous!”

  “But will people even be able to see the lingerie if they’re wearing them?”

  “Oh. Good point. I’ll come up with something else then.” Gilles took another bite of salad and dabbed at the corner of his mouth with a napkin. “I do have a serious matter to discuss, though. What about security? I always have bouncers throughout the club, but should I hire extra for the event? I’ve done that in the past.”

  Bryn and Mia looked at each other and shrugged. “I don’t know,” Bryn said. “We’ve never had to deal with security issues. I guess we should do whatever you think is best.”

  “I’ll talk to my contact at a security company and see what he thinks. A few extra bodies won’t be a bad thing.” He leaned in toward the girls. “Especially when the ones they sent me last time were off-duty police officers. Yum. Tall, muscled, and packing heat. A lethally delicious combination.”

  Bryn’s mind wandered to Eli. She’d seen him in his uniform only once, but it had been hot. That whole protector thing was such a contrast to who he was in the bedroom.

  “Next on the agenda is the models,” Penny said, interrupting Bryn’s thoughts. “We’ve got Logan, of course, but we’re losing Oliver soon.” She turned to Mia. “Is he doing the show or not?”

  She sighed. “I tried, but he won’t do it. It’s probably for the best anyway. We’re not restocking his toy, so this way we won’t have people disappointed when they come in wanting one and we don’t have them.”

  “Okay, so are we going to find a new penis model before the show and mold him?” Bryn asked.

  “Are you offering yourself up for the interviews? ’Cause I’ve been there, done that, and I’m not going back.”

  Bryn had to laugh. Who could’ve ever thought their new business venture would require them to search for the perfect penis? Poor Mia’d had to take on the horrible task of “interviewing” all the guys. So many days Bryn had been insanely jealous of Mia and all the no-strings sex she’d been having with hot models to make sure their penises worked the right way.

  “As tempting as that sounds, I don’t think so. I couldn’t even have sex with a man I’ve known for a while. I imagine strangers will be a whole lot tougher.”

  “Um. I didn’t actually have sex with all the interviewees . . .”

  “You didn’t?” Bryn and Penny said at the same time.

  “Oh, I gotta hear this story!” Gilles said leaning in closer.

  “I only had sex with Oliver. I just kinda examined the rest.” Mia’s cheeks pinkened. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t do it.”

  “But you told me you screwed them all. I thought we were making an educated decision when we chose Oliver and Logan.”

  “I couldn’t do it. So I fibbed. Don’t be mad.”

  Bryn tried not to be, but she couldn’t help being a little miffed. Her best friend had lied to her. And about something that was pretty important. “You should have told me. I would have been fine with it.”

  “No, you wouldn’t. We were barely keeping it together back then. We were all on edge worrying about the shop. This toy line needed to go off without a hitch and I thought keeping that small detail from you was the best way to keep it hitchless. It all worked out, we found two great guys.”

  “Yeah. You’re right.” Bryn tried to brush it off, but the lie hurt. She probably should have figured it out herself. Mia had been so against the live testings. It really wasn’t a shock that she hadn’t gone through with them. And if anyone could understand the anxiety of jumping into bed with a new man, it was Bryn. “So we’ll need extra models just for modeling the lingerie, maybe two more, so we have three men total. How many women should we hire?”

  “I think you ladies should do it.”

  All three of them turned to Gilles and burst out laughing.

  “You’re out of your mind,” Mia said first.

  “Not happening,” Penny said with a huge grin, but shaking her head back and forth. “I might be all pregnant and bloated by then. Fingers crossed.”

  Penny and her husband had been on the baby-making train for a while now, with no luck.

  “I have no intention of ever being pregnant again,” Bryn said. “But my body is so not model material.”

  “And? How many of the people coming to the show are models? Don’t you think real women should model the lingerie for the real women who will be buying it?”

  Damn. The man had a point. “Then should we get real men instead of models?”

  “Hell no. I want some man candy to hoot ’n’ holler at.”

  “Well, don’t you think the straight men and gay women will want hot women to ogle instead of us?”

  “Oh honey. You ladies have no clue how hot you are. I mean it. Stick-thin models have nothing on you three. Seriously. Think about it.”

  Was she actually going to give this some thought? Gilles had never steered them wrong before. She trusted his opinions. I can’t believe I’m really considering this.

  ELI HEADED back to the police station, ready to end his shift. He’d been on patrol since 6 a.m. after a not-so-great night. He was lucky he caught three hours of broken sleep. He couldn’t stop thinking of Bryn and all the ways he’d fucked it up with her.

  He searched out the lingerie shop’s number in his cell and hit send. He hadn’t heard from her since he’d dropped her off at home the other night—not even after he’d sent her flowers. He hoped maybe she was just busy. Or maybe the flower shop hadn’t delivered the bouquet. It might not have anything to do with what he’d confessed.

  But that thought is exactly what had kept him tossing and turning all night.

  The line picked up after a few rings. “Classy ’n’ Sassy. Can I help you?”

  “Hey, Mia. It’s Eli. Is Bryn free?”

  “Um . . . I think so. Let me check.”

  Yeah. She was checking to see if her friend wanted to talk to him or not. God, did Bryn tell her what happened? Most likely. Women told their best friends everything. Great. Now Mia knew about his small dick, too.

  After a few minutes on hold, Bryn’s voice came through the receiver. “Hey, what’s up?”

  She didn’t seem all too enthused to be talking to him. And that’s what he’d
feared. “Hi. I was wondering if you got the flowers I sent yesterday?”

  “Oh. Yeah, I did. I’m sorry I didn’t call. It was a really busy day and then I had stuff to deal with after work with the kids and all. But, thank you. They’re beautiful.”

  It could be a legitimate reason, but in the pit of his stomach he knew he was losing her. He needed to fix this. “You’re welcome. Can I see you again? Maybe this weekend sometime?”

  “I don’t know. We have so much prep to do for the fashion show. And I’m not sure about a babysitter.”

  Sounded like a brush-off. “Can I call you tomorrow?”

  “Uh. Yeah. That’s fine. I’ll talk to you later then. Bye.”

  And she was gone. Shit. Maybe he should have kept his big mouth shut the other night. But it was too late now. He’d just have to deal with the situation and pray he could salvage what they had, repair the damage his confession had made. He needed to show her he was so much more than a small dick.

  Eli left the police station and headed to his ex’s. Sometimes he still couldn’t believe he didn’t live there anymore. He loved that house. They’d designed every last detail together. But man, she’d been a horrendous bitch through that. It should have given him some idea of the monstrosity she had the potential to be.

  He rang the bell, which also still felt odd, and Austin came to the door. “Hey, Dad.”

  “Hey, bud. You guys ready?” He stepped inside the house.

  “I am. But Amelia’s still packing her bag.”

  “Okay. Go tell her I’m here.”

  Austin bounded up the stairs, leaving him in the foyer alone. Until Kristen walked in. Damn it.

  “I hear you’ve been spending a lot of time with that Bryn woman.”

  “Yep.”

  “So, like, what do you guys do? Do you take her out to dinner all the time?”

  “No. Not that it’s any of your business.”

  “It is my business. I have a right to know what you’re exposing my kids to.”

  “I would never expose them to anything bad. Bryn has kids. We mostly hang out with all the kids. We’ve only gone out alone a couple times.”

  “Are you sleeping with her?”

  “That’s really none of your business.” He stepped toward the staircase. “Austin. Amelia. Come on, it’s time to go.”

  “I’m gonna take that as a no. One time with you and she’ll be ready to move on to someone else anyway.”

  What a bitch. He wasn’t going to justify the insult with a response. Austin ran down the stairs followed by Amelia, her pink suitcase behind her, bumping down each stair.

  “Hi, Daddy!”

  “There’s my sweetheart.” He took the suitcase from her. “Ready to go?”

  “Yep. Are we gonna see Bryn and Jaxson and Zach and Cammie?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe.”

  “Mommy, you should meet Bryn. She’s super nice. You’d like her.”

  Kristen flashed her fakest smile for their little girl. “We’ll see.” She pulled her in for a hug. “Be good and have fun. I’ll see you on Sunday.”

  After she hugged Austin, Eli followed the kids out to the porch. Kristen was right behind him, her voice low. “I don’t want my kids spending time with some random woman who might not be in your life for very long.”

  “I’ve got it under control. They’re my kids, too.”

  “They come first. You better remember that.”

  God, he was so sick of her attitude. She’d wanted out of their marriage, too, so why couldn’t she just let him be happy?

  CHAPTER Six

  BRYN WAS more than ready to end her day of work. Mia was on the phone, so Bryn gave a quick wave as she headed for the door, but Mia summoned her back.

  “That was Oliver,” Mia said as she replaced the receiver. “He thinks a friend from work might be good for you.”

  “Yeah?”

  “He’s successful and pretty down to earth.”

  “I like down to earth. Set it up. Can we double for the first date?”

  “Been a long time since we’ve done that.”

  “It’ll be fun. Call me with the details. I’m gonna head out now, if that’s all right?”

  “Yes, definitely. See ya later.”

  Bryn turned toward the back door and heard the chime of the front door. She ignored it, but just as she reached for the handle, Mia called her name. Ugh. One second shy of freedom.

  She walked back to the showroom, and standing there was Eli. She sucked in a breath. Her heart was racing, but she couldn’t tell if it was out of fear or lust. Why did he have to look so damn good all the time? Her eyes locked on his and a weird feeling washed over her. Like she hadn’t seen him in months, rather than just days. Was it an absence-makes-the-heart-grow-fonder thing? Regardless, seeing him did things to her. And she wasn’t sure what any of it really meant.

  As Amelia ran up to her, she realized his kids were there, too.

  “Bryn!” She wrapped her arms around Bryn’s waist.

  “Hi, honey!” She squeezed Amelia and looked up at Eli again. “What are you guys doing here?”

  “I know I said I’d call tomorrow, but Amelia couldn’t wait to see you, and neither could I. So we stopped by.”

  The little girl loosened her grip on Bryn and pulled away. “We so need to do something fun together this weekend. Like that time we went to the park and played kickball, boys against the girls? We kicked their butts! Remember?”

  “I sure do.” Bryn met Eli’s gaze, a finger across his lips. He’d never told Amelia he’d let them win.

  “That was the best day ever. We can do that again, or go to the beach, but if it’s raining we can go to the museum, or the movies, or . . .”

  Amelia continued and Bryn tried to listen, but the words came out so fast.

  “Okay, sweetie. Give Bryn a chance to think.”

  Eli stood there, expectant smile across his face, eyebrows raised in anticipation. Talk about being put on the spot. She was supposed to be breaking it off with him. Could she turn him down in front of his kids? Definitely not Amelia. She’d be crushed. And Austin? He stood next to Eli, eyes darting around the shop from lacy nighties to silky thongs. His eyes bugged out a bit; he must have spotted a dildo. Yikes. She should probably give them an answer so they could get out of there.

  She rested her gaze back on Eli, feeling as if there was only one answer she could give at this particular moment. “Why not? I’m off tomorrow.”

  Amelia cheered. “Yay! What should we do?”

  “It’s supposed to be nice,” Eli offered. “How about the beach?”

  “Sure. Sounds like fun.”

  Amelia wrapped her arms around Bryn again. “This is gonna be awesome. We’ll bring the sand castle stuff.”

  “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then.” She flashed the biggest smile she could manage and Eli matched it, though his was real.

  “I’ll call you with the details.” He reached for Amelia’s hand. “Come on. Let’s go get some dinner.”

  The little girl waved as Eli led her and her brother to the door. It wasn’t even shut all the way when Mia spoke up. “Wow. So much for ending it with him.”

  “He had his kids. I couldn’t do it in front of them.”

  Mia just smiled. “Have fun tomorrow.”

  Maybe Bryn would. She’d have to approach the situation as if they were just friends again. Forget about the nights of almost sex. Forget about the small penis and confidence issues. Just go to the beach with the kids and try to have some fun. They could go back to just being friends, right?

  “SO WHAT do you guys think of Bryn?” Eli asked as he drove the kids to dinner. It was pretty obvious how Amelia felt, but he was more concerned about Austin. Teens and their moodiness.

  “I just love Bryn, Daddy. You s
hould totally ask her to move in with us. We could be one giant happy family.”

  “Like the Brady Bunch?”

  “The what bunch?”

  “Never mind. So you like spending time with her?”

  “Yes. She’s really nice and she lets me brush her hair. Mom never lets me do that. And she makes fun food with faces and stuff. Remember when she made us waffles for dinner and used blueberries for eyes, a banana slice for a nose, and a strawberry for lips? And the hair! She used coconut that she dyed with food coloring.”

  Eli smiled at the memory. “That was a fun day.”

  “And speaking of hair, do you remember that other time when I got gum stuck in my hair and I was crying and she hugged me and took me to her fancy hairdresser? She was so awesome that day.”

  Geez. Did his daughter ever take a break from talking? He spoke quickly before she started up again. “Austin, what do you think of Bryn?”

  Eli looked in the rearview mirror; his son was focused on the world rushing by his window. “She’s okay.”

  “Okay in a good way or a bad way?”

  “Good, I guess. She’s fun.”

  It wasn’t much of a response, not compared to his sister’s, but Eli would take it. “I really like her, so I hope you guys like her, too.”

  “Oh, I super-duper cross-my-heart like her!”

  Eli couldn’t contain his chuckle. If he could bottle the exuberance of his nine-year-old girl, he’d make millions.

  “Mom says Bryn’s store is a dirty porn shop,” Austin said.

  The comment startled Eli and he jerked the steering wheel, righting the car immediately. “What?”

  “She says she sells disgusting things there. I saw the rubber penis. Is that what she’s talking about? That’s gross. Why would anyone need that?”

  Fuck. Looks like the lingerie shop was not the best place to take the kids. “It’s a store for adults. And they sell adult things there.”

  “Yeah, I know. But why would anyone want to buy a fake wiener?”

  How the hell was he supposed to answer that? “Well, uh, it’s kind of hard to explain.”