Size Matters

by Stephanie Haefner

“Come to the park with us.”

  “I can’t. I have to work so your mommy doesn’t have to.” She smiled at Bryn. “How’s it going?”

  “Okay.” Then she remembered her coffee date from the night before. “Good, actually.”

  She turned to the kids. “Why don’t you guys go play in the break room? Just for a few minutes.”

  “There are doughnut holes in there,” Mia added, and all three kids ran toward the back of the shop.

  “I went out last night for coffee with the Internet guy.”

  “What about Troy?”

  “I’m still gonna meet him, but Joel was so amazing.”

  “You didn’t sleep with him, did you?”

  “No! What kind of woman do you think I am?”

  “One who’s desperately horny.”

  “Yes, but I do have a brain, even if it’s overruled by my vagina at times.” Bryn leaned in a little closer. “We chatted last night online and it got a little steamy.”

  “You were computer sexing him?”

  “No, not really. I just met the guy. I wait at least a week before I start that.” She stuck out her tongue. “But seriously though, this guy seems perfect.”

  “Do I need to remind you of the lecture you gave me about ‘no man is ever perfect’? There has to be something wrong with him. Oliver leaves socks everywhere. Like, every day. I find them shoved in the couch cushions. It’s so annoying.”

  “If Joel’s worst issue is dirty socks, I think I can deal.”

  “Well, I hope you’re still excited for Saturday. Troy is anxious to meet you. Oliver’s been talking you up for a week.”

  “Aww. What a sweetie. You really did hit the boyfriend jackpot. And speaking of, since his penis-cloning days are over, we need to find a replacement.”

  “I know. And obviously, I am off the hook for finding a new guy.”

  “I might be ready to tackle that chore this time.”

  “Uh, yeah. It’s a blast.” The monotone of her voice made Bryn laugh.

  The kids came back into the showroom. “We’re bored,” said Cammie and Zach together. Jaxson just kind of stood there, eyes darting around the shop. It’s not like he’d never been there before, but maybe he was seeing it differently now that he was getting older. Might be a good idea to get him out of there.

  “After the fashion show we’ll talk about replacing Oliver. Maybe I’ll be braver than you and actually test them out the right way.” She was still a little pissed her BFF had lied to her about not properly evaluating the models the first time around. Lowering her voice to a whisper, she told Mia, “I think I’d be up for no-strings sex with some hot guys.”

  “Okay. We’ll just see what happens when it’s your turn.”

  Bryn noticed a new catalogue on the counter, this one with various whips and handcuffs and such. She flipped through. Maybe someday they’d venture into BDSM gear.

  “Uh . . . Bryn?”

  She replied without looking away from the catalogue. “Yeah?”

  “You might want to check out your son.”

  She turned and there was Jaxson, fondling the crotch of a lacy teddy. “Oh, God.” Deep breath. “Jax, Zach, Cammie. Let’s go!”

  Jax jumped and ran to her and the other kids trotted behind.

  “Can we go to the park now?”

  “Yes. Everyone say good-bye to Aunt Mia.”

  The kids waved as Bryn ushered them out the door. Note to self: no longer bring kids to the shop. When had her life gotten so damn complicated? Bryn was ready to put the brakes on. She couldn’t handle much more. Was it a faux pas to stop at the liquor store on her way to the park?

  BRYN HAD barely put the van in park before the kids were out and running to the playground. She grabbed her cell phone and a book and set her sights on the bench under a nice big tree across from the twirly slide. But as she crossed the playground, someone else beat her to it.

  “Aw man.” She stopped midstep and looked around for another bench, but snapped her head back. The guy looked familiar. Oh no. But it was too late. Eli had already seen her. He gave a half smile and a little wave. Damn, that was cute.

  No. She wasn’t supposed to think that. And now she had no choice but to go say hello.

  Bryn walked over and sat down, looking out at the playground. Cool, calm, and collected. “Hey. How’s it going?”

  “Good. Did you get my message?”

  “I did. It should be a fun party. I’m glad you can make it. I mean the kids. That the kids can make it.” Awkward. Just shut up now. “That you and the kids can make it.”

  She tried not to look over, but she could see his smirk out of the corner of her eye. And she couldn’t contain her own. So she turned to meet his gaze. “I’m glad that after everything that’s happened between us, you still want to come to the party.”

  “My kids love your kids. I would never make them stay away.”

  “Thank you. I appreciate it.”

  They sat quiet, watching their kids run to and fro. The children really adored each other, and if Bryn was honest with herself, she’d admit she adored Eli’s kids, too. Seeing them now, she realized just how much she’d missed them.

  It was a gorgeous summer day. If it had been any other guy in any other circumstance, she would feel so good just sitting and chilling out while the kids played. But this was the guy she was trying to forget. Despite how cute he looked in that T-shirt and shorts. And the baseball cap. God, she was a sucker for a guy in a baseball cap.

  “So,” he started. “I hear we have somewhat of a budding romance on our hands.”

  “Yeah. I was kinda shocked by that. Aren’t they too young for that stuff?”

  “I guess. But there’s nothing wrong with a harmless crush.” He forced a laugh. “For a minute there I thought they’d be brother and sister, not boyfriend and girlfriend.”

  Whoa. She knew he’d been in a different place about their relationship than she was, but wow. Why was he thinking marriage already? She felt kinda bad. He’d wanted more with her and she just wasn’t in that place. She might have been able to get there, eventually, but too much had happened between them.

  And why bring it up? Was he trying to lay a guilt trip on her? It was all too upsetting and awkward and she needed to get away.

  Bryn stood and threw her bag over her shoulder. “I should get going. I’ll see ya later.” She started for the swings where Jax and Amelia were.

  “Bryn, wait.” Eli caught up to her. “I’m sorry if I said something wrong. I was just being honest.”

  She forced a smile and used her fake cheery voice. “I know. It’s okay. I’ll see you at the party.”

  Bryn gathered her kids as they whined about leaving the park. She bribed them with an afternoon at the movie theater, popcorn and all. She needed to get away from Eli, and if a bribe worked, so be it.

  Why was he messing with her head like this? She didn’t need this right now. And the last thing she deserved was a guilt trip. She wanted to get married again—make her family complete—but she wasn’t ready to do that yet. She thought she’d be dating someone for a long time before that happened. Between the weird self-consciousness and this awkward conversation, she needed to distance herself from Eli. Forget about him.

  ELI SANK back down on the park bench. Shit. Bryn couldn’t get away fast enough. Why had he opened his big mouth? He kept scaring her away instead of bringing her closer. Truth was, he missed her. He wanted her back in his life, back where they were before the sex part had ruined it. Why did he have to be so damn idiotic?

  The text alert on his phone sounded and he pulled it out. A message from Michelle, the woman he had tentative plans with for the following night.

  Hello! Is seven good for our date? I should be done delivering all my cakes by then. Let me know!

  She was a wedding cake baker, ne
ver married, no kids. She was a little on the young side at twenty-eight, but his partner at work had set them up. Friend of his wife’s or something. Eli wasn’t much into setups, but he needed a distraction.

  He texted her back saying he’d pick her up at seven. There. Maybe now he’d stop thinking about Bryn.

  CHAPTER Sixteen

  BRYN THREW a frozen pizza into the oven, then jumped into the shower. When she stepped back into her bedroom, Jaxson was there, sitting on the edge of her bed.

  “Oh! You scared me. What’s up, honey?”

  “Do we have to have a babysitter again?”

  “Yes. I have somewhere to go tonight.”

  “Why? Can’t you stay home with us instead?”

  How could she explain this to him? “I love you very, very much, but sometimes I need to go out and be with adults, okay?”

  “Are your friends funner than us?”

  “It’s not that at all.” She sat down at her vanity and began brushing her wet hair. “You’ll understand when you’re a grown-up. You guys mean the world to me, but everyone needs time apart. You like playing with your friends without me around, right?”

  “Yeah, I guess. But do you have to go tonight? Can’t it be another night?”

  “No, honey. I already made plans with Aunt Mia and Oliver for tonight. They’re picking me up in a little while.”

  “Call and tell her you’re sick.”

  “You know lying is wrong. And I don’t want to do that.” Why was he acting so strange? “Is there something else bothering you?”

  “No.” He fidgeted with his thumb, picking at a hangnail. “Maybe. Are you meeting a boyfriend tonight? Are you gonna wear that fancy underwear you sell at your store?”

  Bryn was completely thrown off guard. She didn’t know how to answer that. “Well, first of all, it’s none of your business what kind of underwear I or any lady wears. You should never ask that. And secondly . . .” Ugh. This was so hard. “Yes. I will be meeting a man tonight. A friend of Oliver’s.”

  “Why? I thought you liked Amelia’s dad.”

  This dating thing was difficult. For so many reasons. “It’s probably hard for you to understand, but sometimes grown-ups get along great at first, and then later on, things change. I think Eli is a very nice man, but we’re not going to be seeing him as much anymore.”

  “What? Why? I still want to be friends with Amelia and Austin. It’s not fair that you don’t want to be friends with their dad anymore. How am I ever gonna see them?” The poor kid was on the verge of tears.

  She moved to the bed, wrapping her arms around Jax. “You will. Don’t worry. Eli and I are still friends, we just don’t want to be boyfriend and girlfriend. That’s all.”

  “Okay.” He seemed a bit more relaxed. “So you want to be boyfriend-girlfriend with the guy tonight?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t met him yet.”

  “This is so confusing.”

  “I know, baby.” She hugged him again and rocked a little, kissing the top of his head. The kitchen timer bell sounded. “Are you hungry?”

  His head bobbed beneath her.

  “Okay. Let’s get you some food.”

  With the kids holding plates full of pizza and watching a cartoon show on TV, Bryn rushed back to her room to desperately try to pick an outfit. She was going for sexy without being slutty, an outfit that said “I’m a mom and I’m busy, but I still have time for a man in my life.” Could an outfit even say that? She was sure as hell going to try.

  The doorbell rang at 7:05 and Bryn’s nerves went all kinds of wacky. She’d never been on a blind date before. With Eli, they’d met and became friends first. There’d been no expectation for more. With Troy, there was expectation. Why the hell had she asked to do this again?

  She took a deep breath, hoping to calm the insanity in her gut before opening the door. Three adults stepped into her house—two familiar ones, and one very handsome one she’d never laid eyes on before. Tall, dark hair, dark eyes, freshly shaven. Nerves were officially calmed.

  “Hi. It’s nice to finally meet you.” Troy held out his hand and Bryn shook it—warm and strong. “Oliver hasn’t stopped talking about you all week.”

  “I hope he didn’t bore you.”

  “Not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. The lingerie business sounds intriguing. I bet you have a million stories.”

  “Oh, we do,” Bryn said, meeting Mia’s gaze, unable to control her smile. Troy was adorable. She grabbed her purse from the foyer table. “Are we ready to go?”

  Oliver, Mia, and Troy headed out the door while Bryn gave kisses to the kids and some last-minute instructions for Lindsey. Her heart raced beneath her chest as she met up at Oliver’s car. Troy opened the door for her then slid into the backseat next to her. It had been a long time since she’d been in the backseat of a car with a boy.

  Conversation flowed freely between all four of them. Troy seemed genuinely interested in Bryn and her business. But not in a pervy way. He was a businessman and it showed. He wanted to know about the important stuff, not specifics on panties and bras.

  They started with drinks at the bar, Troy offering to buy the first round. And when their table was ready, he pulled her chair out for her. So gentlemanly. Talk turned to current affairs, which Bryn wasn’t all too up on. She barely watched any TV that wasn’t kid-friendly, and didn’t have time to read the newspaper. But she liked listening to Troy talk. It didn’t matter what he was saying.

  Intelligent, humorous, insanely gorgeous. Three major pluses on the checklist. This was going far better than she’d ever anticipated. How the hell had she gotten so lucky and met two wonderful guys this week? Eli who?

  ELI SAT across from his date and couldn’t help but glance at the clock on the wall. If his calculations were correct, Michelle had babbled on about that day’s wedding cake deliveries for about twenty-five minutes. Definitely through his entire meal. She’d hardly eaten any of hers since she’d been talking so much. No wonder she was as thin as a rail. The girl didn’t stop talking long enough to eat more than a few bites.

  Eli tried to be fair. She was probably nervous, and wedding cakes were her life. It was an easy thing to talk about. But did he really need a minute-by-minute replay of her setting up a cupcake display for a cowboy-themed wedding?

  Bryn had never rambled on like that about her job. Idiot. You have to stop doing that. He’d already compared Michelle’s hair to Bryn’s. Bryn’s was shinier, longer, softer looking. Bryn’s lips were plumper. Bryn wore more stylish clothes. Bryn let him get a word in once in a while. A lot more than one actually. But he wasn’t being fair to Michelle. She wasn’t Bryn and he needed to accept that and try to make the best of this night.

  The waiter came by and cleared Eli’s empty plate. “Would you like a box?” he asked Michelle.

  “No, I’m still working on it.”

  He left and she turned back to Eli, giggling. “I’m sorry I’m so slow. I know I talk a lot. I get it from my mom. She’s way worse than me. I promise I’ll hurry up and eat now.”

  “It’s okay. Don’t rush.” He looked at the clock again. If she finished in the next five minutes and they skipped dessert, he could be home in time for the last few innings of the Yankees–Red Sox game.

  As Michelle ate, quiet for the first time in over a half hour, laughter drifted through the crowded restaurant to his ears. An unmistakable comfort, like a symphony caressing his eardrums. Bryn. He looked around, trying not to make it completely obvious to his date that he was not paying any attention to her whatsoever. And finally, when a busboy moved, he saw her. That luminous hair cascading over bronzed shoulders. That smile, those curves. Her hand touching another man’s arm. Eli wanted to take the steak knife still sitting on the table and jam it into his chest.

  “Hello? Eli?”

  He shook out of his misery.
“Yeah?”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Just looking for our waiter. I need some more water.”

  “But you still have some.”

  “Oh.” He picked up his glass and chugged it, dousing some of the flames raging in his body.

  “I’m all set,” she said. “That was really tasty.”

  “Great. I’ll get the check then.” He waved to the waiter.

  “But don’t you want dessert? It’s really good here.”

  What was he supposed to say? “Sure.” He smiled his fakest grin. “Anything you want.”

  Her smile matched his, and yeah, he did feel bad knowing hers was real. But he didn’t have much of a choice. The woman he wanted was on the other side of the room with another guy. There was no way he could smile for real.

  BRYN, AND everyone else, had cleared their plates and finished the bottle of wine. The food had been excellent, the wine divine. And the conversation? Electric. She hadn’t laughed that hard in years.

  Troy ordered another bottle of wine and the waiter promised to bring back dessert menus when he returned. Bryn used this as an opportunity to visit the ladies’ room and fix her face. She’d laughed so hard her eyes had watered, surely smudging her eye makeup.

  “I’ll go with you,” Mia said, standing with Bryn.

  Girl talk! Maybe Mia did have to use the bathroom, but most likely she just wanted to beg Bryn for her thoughts on Troy. She didn’t expect anything less from her friend. And she’d dish every detail, too.

  The bathroom door had barely shut and already Mia was asking questions. “He’s great, isn’t he?”

  “He is.” Standing at the mirror, Bryn grabbed a paper towel, wet the end, and dabbed away the errant mascara. “Smart, funny, and an ass I want to sink my teeth into.”

  Mia rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. He’s hot. But he’s also successful and driven. He’s got everything.”

  “The total package.” Bryn applied a little more concealer and dusted some powder. “And I hope the package in his pants matches how great the rest of him is.”

  “You always gotta go there, don’t you?” Mia’s smirk told her she was amused.