Size Matters

by Stephanie Haefner

  “Of course. I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t.”

  “Good thing Oliver and I drove you here. There’s no way you can find out tonight.”

  “Party pooper.” Bryn stuck out her bottom lip, then applied a layer of gloss.

  The door opened and a woman came in. Tall, thin, really cute. She’d almost be jealous if the girl didn’t have such a warm expression. Bryn smiled back as she stepped to the mirror next to her.

  The woman rummaged through her purse. “Oh darn.”

  “Do you need something?”

  “Yeah. I must have left my eyedrops at home. My contacts are killing me right now.”

  “Oh. Mia might have some.” She turned to Mia, already digging in her bag. She pulled out a small bottle and handed it to the girl.

  “Thanks. You’re a lifesaver.” She tilted her head back, put a couple of drops in each eye, and handed it back. “I’m on a first date and I really don’t want my eyes to be all itchy.”

  “Oh? Me, too. How’s it going?” Bryn asked.

  “Good, I think. It’s my first date in years. I just got dumped by my boyfriend of four years and I’m nervous beyond belief. I think I already bored him by talking too much.”

  “I’m sure it’s fine.” Bryn couldn’t believe such a pretty girl was nervous. “You’re beautiful. I bet he can’t stop staring, regardless if you’re babbling or not.”

  “I hope so.” She gave another wide grin and turned to leave, but swung back around. “Can I ask for some advice?”

  “Sure. Go ahead.”

  “I really like this guy. He’s gorgeous and mature, which is so not what my ex was like. I’m having a great time and I don’t want it to end. So . . . should I go home with him?”

  “I’m not against sex on the first date,” Bryn said.

  “But I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Mia added, then turned her gaze on Bryn. “For either of you. If it’s meant to happen, it will. There’s no need to rush.”

  “But if this beautiful girl here is like me, and hasn’t had great sex in a long time, and there is a gorgeous guy ready to ravish her, then why not? Seize the moment.”

  “You could ruin the relationship by sleeping together too soon. Then it’s all about sex and nothing else.”

  “And how long did you know Oliver before you had sex with him? An hour? Maybe forty-five minutes?”

  “That was different and you know it.”

  “Regardless, it still proves my point.” She turned back to the woman, who was surely dying to know what the hell she and Mia were talking about. “I think having sex on the first date has no bearing on the relationship. If the guy is a dick, he’s a dick, and it doesn’t matter. You could date him three months and wait till then, and if he’s a hit-it-and-leave kind of guy, it’s gonna happen no matter what. So I say do it.”

  “Thanks. You guys are really awesome.”

  They all stepped to the door and back into the restaurant. The woman turned and pointed to a guy in a royal blue dress shirt, sleeves rolled a few times. The color made his eyes stand out, even from across the room. Eyes Bryn had looked into before. Eyes that had undressed her, caressed her, and made her smile and swoon.

  “He’s cute, right?”

  Bryn shook out of her daze. “Um. Yeah. He’s really cute.”

  “Okay, bye. Thanks again.” The hussy practically sashayed back to her table and Eli.

  Bryn’s chest constricted. He’s dating someone else already? And she’d just advised her to have sex with him. What did I do?

  She needed to remember Eli was no longer her concern. She shouldn’t be jealous that he had a beautiful girl with perky boobs and legs that went on for miles. She wanted him to be happy. She was moving on, so he should be able to as well. He deserved to find a woman who was perfect for him.

  But Bryn didn’t expect to feel like this. She never thought she’d be completely jealous over a man she didn’t want.

  She didn’t want him, right?

  CHAPTER Seventeen

  SUNDAY MORNING and Bryn stood at her stove, almost in a daze, as she made pancakes; heart shaped for Cammie, regular ones for the boys. She couldn’t stop thinking about the night before.

  After her heart filled with insane jealousy, Bryn had a hard time focusing on Troy. She’d tried to laugh, but found herself faking it. She’d tried to eat her Belgian chocolate cake, but it tasted funny. She’d sipped her wine, but it just didn’t have the same effect on her. Yearning for her fuzzy pajamas and her bed, Bryn claimed she’d had a headache.

  Oliver drove her home and Troy walked her to the door. She’d let him place a soft kiss on her lips after thanking her for a great time. She hadn’t had the energy to even try and turn it into more.

  Several hours later, as she flipped the pancakes, she still wasn’t able to shake out of her melancholy. It was crazy to feel this way. Troy was a great guy—he could be the one for her. So why was she so stuck on Eli and that woman? Bryn had lain in bed most of the night envisioning them together, and the visions were returning.

  “Mommy, I smell something funny.”

  Bryn shook away her thoughts, and indeed, the first batch of pancakes was black.

  Enough of this shit. She did not want Eli. End of story. He deserved to find happiness with someone else. Bryn had just started something good with Troy. And there was Joel, too. Everything was going to work out exactly how it was supposed to. No more acting like a moody, jealous bitch.

  After tossing the burned pancakes, Bryn poured more batter. She laughed with her kids as they ate breakfast, vowing to make this day a great one. Life was far too short to waste time being miserable for no reason.

  While the kids were getting dressed, Bryn popped online to check her email. She had a message from Joel. Her butterflies stirred.

  I enjoyed chatting with you the other night, and I think we should take this a step further. Say the word and I’ll be at your house, ready to do all the dirty things I’ve dreamed about since our chat. I can’t wait to taste you, feel your skin, be inside you.

  Well, this was a little more than she’d expected. The new message kind of weirded her out. Bryn was all for the kinky stuff, but with someone she knew, and knew well. She’d just met the guy. And yeah, the night before, she’d made a convincing argument for sex on the first date being okay, but this just felt odd. Way too fast. Maybe Joel wasn’t as great as she’d originally thought. And he’d seemed so nice and normal the other night when they’d gotten coffee.

  What should she do? She definitely wasn’t making anything a reality. The vibe she got made her not want to see him again at all. So much for having two great guys to date.

  ELI’S EYES popped open when his cell phone rang. Almost ten. Shit. It had been a long time since he’d slept this late on a Sunday morning. He grabbed the phone and answered without looking at the screen.

  “Good morning! How are you?” It was Michelle, all bright and cheery and annoying as hell.

  After she’d come back from the bathroom the night before, she’d been different. Weird. It seemed like she was trying to be sexy, but she didn’t know how. Licking the straw of a drink was not sexy. It was just odd. And her attempts at getting him to come inside her apartment when he dropped her off bordered on desperation. He felt kind of bad for her. She really was a nice girl. But she wasn’t Bryn.

  Somehow he managed to convince her he was exhausted—not a lie—and got away from her with only a peck on the cheek.

  But here she was, in his ear. Why had he given her his number? “Good. You?”

  “Great. Best night of sleep in forever. I had such an awesome time last night with you.”

  “Yeah. It was fun.” He didn’t know what else to say.

  “So, what are we doing today? It’s gorgeous out. I thought maybe we could walk by the river and get some brunch. Maybe go to the
farmers’ market. I can’t wait to see you again.”

  Eli had gone on a few dates since the divorce, but his failure to call afterward had been an easy get-out-of-dating card. He wasn’t sure how to handle Michelle, but he needed to end it. He was no stranger to the opposite side of rejection, but could he flat-out tell this girl he didn’t want to see her again?

  If he was gonna do it, he needed to do it now. “Well . . .” This was so hard. “I think maybe we should . . . um . . .” Fuck. “Is eleven good?”

  “Yes!” Unadulterated giddiness flooded through the phone. “I’ll be ready and waiting.”

  Eli hit end. What did he just do? But he didn’t have the heart to crush this girl. And besides, if he spent more time with her, maybe she would ease up and not be so weird. There was always a chance.

  An hour and a half later, they were seated on the patio browsing the brunch menu at The Riverside Inn.

  “I’m dying to try the eggs Benedict here, but the crème brûlée French toast sounds divine, too.” She looked up at him, wide grin. “Wanna get both and share?”

  This was only their second date and she wanted to share meals? He’d been married to Kristen for twelve years and they had never done that. But what the hell? Both dishes did sound good. “Sure.”

  Her smile widened. He was amazed that was even possible. “Awesome. This is so fun. I love having a boyfriend.”

  What? Hold on. Two dates did not make a relationship. Crap. He was stuck on a date with a stage-five clinger. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

  Michelle gave their order to the waitress as Eli downed his Bloody Mary and ordered another. Then she started talking about more cake stuff. He tried to be interested, but when she started on the specifics of making the perfect frosting, his mind wandered.

  Eli managed to make it through brunch and thought he was home free, but oh no. He wasn’t getting off that easy.

  “We need to head over to the farmers’ market now. I have to get fresh berries and the honey I like.”

  It wasn’t a request. More of a direct order. How had they gone from “Hi, nice to meet you” to “Do as I say” in just over twelve hours? If he got through the day, he could end it and be done with her. Sounded like a good plan.

  But then they got to the market and she looped her arm with his and rested her head on his shoulder. “This is so fun. I feel like we’re already married.”

  Oh hell no.

  Eli plastered on his fakest smile and let the crazy woman drag him around to every damn booth at the market. He carried her bag of berries, the bag of baked goods, even the potted plant. He let her feed him a sample of bread dipped in fancy oil and helped her find the one cantaloupe that did not smell funny. They all smelled the damn same to him.

  “I just need to get my honey and then we can go. The market is closing soon anyway,” Michelle said as she walked off toward a table at the far end of the market.

  This day had to end soon or he’d go bat-shit crazy. He pulled out his cell phone to check the time. Aw fuck. It was quarter after four. There were three missed calls and two text messages from Kristen. He’d forgotten to turn the ringer back on after brunch. The other crazy bitch in his life was going to flip out. Probably already had. He was supposed to pick up the kids fifteen minutes ago.

  “Michelle, we have to go,” he said as he trotted over to the honey farmer’s table.

  “But I didn’t get my honey yet.”

  “I’m late picking up my kids. Can you get it later?”

  “We’re already here. It will just take a minute.”

  “You don’t understand. We have to go. Now.”

  “Is this how our relationship is gonna be?” She crossed her arms over her chest. “You making demands and me just following along like a trained animal?”

  He took a deep breath before he lost it and made the situation even worse. Using his calmest voice, he continued, “I’m late and I really need to go. So can you please hurry and get the honey so we can go? Please?”

  He threw in the extra “please” for emphasis.

  “Sure, honey.” Her smile returned. “Oh! Ha. That was funny! I called you honey, and we’re at the honey stand!” She continued to giggle as the farmer wrapped up her purchase.

  Eli checked his phone again and decided to text Kristen. He’d make something up that would hopefully lessen her displeasure.

  Sorry. Had some car issues. Be there in twenty.

  And that was if he took Michelle with him to pick up the kids. This was a nightmare. He’d have to deal with Kristen, who was already pissed, and bring a woman with him to her house. Great. Just great.

  His text alert sounded.

  You better get here soon. I have somewhere to be.

  Michelle finished her honey purchase and Eli beelined for the car. She actually kept up with him and didn’t dillydally like he’d expected.

  “I have to pick up my kids before I take you home, okay?”

  “I get to meet the kids?” Her face lit up like a damn Christmas tree with forty million bulbs.

  She babbled on while he drove. He tuned most of it out, catching only bits and pieces here and there. Something about cupcakes and the kids. Another bit about wanting three but would settle for two if she had to. Was she talking about kids? The baby-making train had chugged away a long time ago for him. He didn’t want any more kids. Well, if Bryn had wanted more, he might have considered it. But definitely not with Michelle. This relationship had a shelf life of about thirty more minutes.

  Eli pulled up in front of Kristen’s house and she was on the porch, swinging on the swing he’d put up when Austin was a newborn. The kids were on the steps, each engrossed in their own electronic wonderlands, bags packed and sitting next to them.

  Kristen came down the walkway as Eli strolled up it. Michelle was at his heels. Damn it. He should have told her to wait in the car.

  “Hi!” Michelle said, pushing past him and holding out her hand for a shake.

  Kristen kept her arms tightly crossed. “You must be Bryn.” Her words dripped with disgust.

  Michelle’s hand dropped and she turned to Eli. “Who’s Bryn?”

  Kristen snorted and made a feeble attempt to hide her laughter. But she didn’t try very hard.

  “Nobody. Don’t worry about it.” Eli ignored Michelle’s pissed-off expression and yelled to the kids. “Austin. Amelia. You guys ready?”

  Faces still glued to their screens, they grabbed their belongings and trudged to the car. Michelle followed behind them.

  “I’ll have them back on time on Wednesday,” Eli said, and turned away from Kristen.

  “Don’t be early though. I won’t be home.”

  The kids settled into the backseat, their attention still on their handheld electronics. Michelle sat in the front, sneer on her lips, as she stared straight ahead. The fire in her eyes was so hot it might melt the glass. Yikes. Only ten more minutes he had to spend with her and then it would be all over.

  Eli pulled away from the curb and made it a few blocks in silence, but that’s all she gave him.

  Turning her psychotic gaze on him, she asked, “So, who’s Bryn?”

  “Just someone I was seeing. But I’m not anymore.”

  “Did you love her? Is she prettier than me? Does she have a nicer body?”

  The crazy was multiplying. “Can we not discuss this? My kids are in the backseat.”

  She turned back to the windshield. “Fine.”

  The rest of the drive was silent, thank God. Eli pulled up in front of Michelle’s apartment building. He got right out and jogged to the trunk, hoping to have it open before she got there. She stepped to the back and grabbed most of the bags. She tried to pick up the plant, too, but struggled.

  “I’ll get it,” Eli said.

  “I can do it.”

  Bag
s looped over both arms to her elbows, she somehow managed to get everything. She stomped toward the door, pausing just before the stoop to turn slightly. “Call me later.”

  Yeah. That wasn’t going to happen.

  Eli got back in the car, the kids oblivious to what had gone on. He rubbed his face with his hands. This dating thing was supposed to be fun. The first woman he’d found, he’d fallen for, but somehow that had gotten messed up. And now this second one. Wow. He was too old to handle crazy. Truthfully, in his opinion, he was too old to be single. He just wanted to relax and live a peaceful life with a woman he loved. That wasn’t too much to ask for.

  CHAPTER Eighteen

  BRYN SAT on the back patio watching the kids play in the yard. Sometimes they actually did act like they loved each other.

  But then Zach came up and sat on the edge of her chaise. “Mom, when are we gonna see Eli and Austin and Amelia again?”

  She’d already answered this question with Jaxson, but it wasn’t any easier the second time. “I’m not sure, honey. Sometimes people get close and then realize they can’t spend as much time together as they used to. Do you understand what I mean?”

  “No. I miss them. Don’t you?”

  “Yes.” It wasn’t a lie. She still couldn’t get the vision of him the night before at the restaurant out of her head. And then the visions her brain had made up. Him in bed with the beautiful woman. His lips doing wonderful things to her. “But it’s best if we just spend some time apart, okay?”

  “Come on, Mom. Just call them up and invite them over.”

  “It’s not that simple.” But surely to a kid, it was.

  Lucky for Bryn, Jax and Cammie lured Zach back to the yard with a new game to play and he forgot all about their conversation. She rested her head back and relaxed, wishing she’d brought her book out to read. Too lazy to go get it, she let her thoughts wander instead. And they went right back to Eli.

  She did miss him. He was a fun guy to be with. They’d been good friends and she really missed the ease of their relationship. They had connected on so many levels and he understood her need to go so slow. She knew not many other men were going to get that.