by Erin Osborne
Steel
Waking up in bed with my angel tucked around me is a feeling that I didn’t think I’d ever get to experience again. Even though there weren’t any other beds here, I would’ve run out to get her one if Harley decided that she wanted her own room for now. Instead, she walked in our room and is slowly making it her own. The clothes I bought her hang in the closet and fill the drawers of the dresser. There’s a baby monitor sitting on the stand that I brought in last night, and her favorite body wash, shampoo, and lotions decorate the bathroom.
I’m laying as still as I can so I don’t wake Harley up when I feel her breathing change and know that she’s waking up. Just as she goes to stretch, I stop her from raising her arms up and hurting her ribs. She can’t just stretch and move her body the way she wants to right now. So, if I get to remind her every single day for the rest of our lives, I’m going to enjoy that. I’ll relish every moment we get to spend with one another and cherish every single memory we get to make with Quinn. And any other children that we get to have.
“I’m not dreaming?” Harley asks, sleep still filling her voice while she runs her fingers up and down my bare chest.
“No, you’re not dreamin’. This is our life from now on,” I tell her, pulling her closer to my chest and wrapping my arms loosely around her body.
I watch as my girl curls back up around me until she gets up and makes her way to the bathroom. In the meantime, Quinn wakes up and I walk in to see her laying on her back, waving her arms and legs in the air while babbling to the mobile attached to the side of the crib. As soon as she sees me, my heart melts at the smile gracing her beautiful face. Her little arms stop moving and I swear that she’s reaching up for me. Like she knows that I’m her daddy. So, I bend down and pick her up, letting Quinn curl her little body into mine until I lay her down to change her before going in search of Harley.
When I walk back in the bedroom with my daughter, Harley is wrapped in a towel and making her way into the closet to get dressed. What I wouldn’t give to unwrap that towel from her body and take stock in every single change that has happened to her body since giving birth to our daughter. We have too much to do for me to take the time and appreciate those changes the way I want to right now. And, I told her that we couldn’t have sex right now. We need to get the shit out of the way and she needs to learn to trust in me before we add that element back into our relationship.
“Do you have anything in mind for getting furniture for the house?” I ask, hearing her sweet voice come from the closet while she gets dressed.
“If you want, we can go today and pick some things out. Most places will deliver it and if I know a date, I can have a prospect here to help us get everything set up,” I answer, setting Quinn down in the middle of our bed and surrounding her little body with pillows.
“Yeah. I’d rather get it all done as soon as we can. Then you can focus on what you want to do with the basement and your game room. Plus, we can get the house done and won’t have to worry about it,” she tells me, walking out of the closet wearing a pair of jeans with rips in all the right places down the legs, a tank top under a white shirt that falls off one shoulder. Her hair is still down and wet as she runs a brush through it before throwing it up in a messy bun on top of her head. Even in an outfit so simple, Harley looks absolutely stunning.
“Whatever you want to do,” I tell her, not caring how long it takes us to put our home together. We’ll be doing it together and that’s all that matters to me.
Harley sits on the bed with our daughter while I get dressed quickly. As soon as we’re ready, we make our way out to the SUV parked in the driveway. I’m going to have to think about getting a new one for her so that the club can have theirs back. There’s no way I’m letting her or Quinn back in that heap of junk she calls a car when I can afford to get her a new, and safe, car for my family. I know it’s going to be a fight, I wouldn’t expect anything less from the girl that’s capturing my heart all over again.
We stopped at the furniture store first. Harley was so out of her element that I couldn’t help but think of everything she’s missed out on since losing her parents. She waited to see my reaction before she chose any single piece of furniture for our home. So, I started schooling my face so that it was blank, and she couldn’t get a read on what I thought about anything. From then on, she began to relax and pick out pieces that she liked. We now have a dark couch covered in a fabric that’s supposed to be stain resistant and easy to clean. It’s got recliners on each end alone with a matching love seat. There’s a large table that will go perfectly in the middle of the couches. She also chose a dark colored dining room table that seats ten comfortably. Once everything was paid for and set to be delivered later today, we left to head to the store for food and any other items we needed for the house.
After witnessing her wanting to please me in the furniture store, I decided that everything else for the house would be a girl’s day. I don’t want any influence over her when it comes to decorating the house that we’ll be sharing for the rest of our lives. I’ll talk to Darcy and Riley later today and make arrangements for them to all go shopping once things have settled down a little bit. But, I know that Harley isn’t going to want to wait and she might take things into her own hands if I leave it to long. For now, I have to focus on getting prospects to the house this afternoon so that they can help unload everything we got and make sure it gets to the rooms my girl wants it in and then set it up. I’m not going to have some random person in our home helping. Not when Alan is still out there, and we don’t know what’s going on or where he is right now. I’ve got eyes out looking everywhere between Dander Falls and Savage Bend.
“Steel are you ready to head to the grocery store?” Harley asks, bringing me out of my head.
“Yeah, angel. Let’s finish up so we can meet Shadow and Mike at the house,” I answer, taking the car seat with Quinn in it from her hand so that we can load up and head out.
The five-minute ride to the store is filled with silence and I can tell that Harley is in her own head. She’s probably overanalyzing what I did at the first store and is wondering what’s going to happen when we get food. I’m leaving it up to her. But, I honestly don’t know if she can cook all that much. She’s made me one or two simple things, but that’s about it. I can cook enough to get by, but it’s nothing outstanding. We may end up eating out a lot and I know that’s not something I want to do. Not that I don’t want to be seen with my girls, but I don’t want to put them in danger until this situation with her brother is taken care of. Plus, she already has to go out more than I’d like with her appointments with Karen. I think she’s going to have to go there a few times a week to start out with. Unless I can talk her into coming to our house instead for the appointments.
Pulling into the parking lot of the store, I do a scan to make sure that nothing seems out of the ordinary. I’ve been watching to make sure that no one’s been following us and that we’re completely safe at all times. I’m not going to be with Harley and Quinn every second of the day though and it’s going to weigh on my mind every minute I’m away. She’s got to start making sure to check her surroundings and look out for anything that doesn’t seem right to her. Looking over at her, I don’t have to worry about a thing. Harley’s already looking around the parking lot and making a scan of her surroundings without me saying a word to her about it. She’s used to looking over her shoulder and making sure that her brother is as far away as he can be. As much as I hate that for her, her protective instincts will come in handy when I’m gone on club business.
“I want to get this done and get back home,” Harley says suddenly, pulling my attention to her while scanning the area once more.
“Do you see somethin’?” I ask, needing to know what changed her mind all of a sudden.
“No. I just don’t like the feeling I’m getting. It’s like Alan is out there somewhere looking and waiting for the perfect moment to get me. Now he knows about Quinn
and I don’t put it past him to try to take her to get to me. I’ll do whatever I can to protect her, but I know that’s the route he’s going to go,” she tells me, letting me in on her worst fear ever.
“We’ll keep her safe. He’ll put his hands on our daughter over my dead body,” I tell her vehemently, letting her know if I’m around, I’ll do what I have to in order to ensure their safety.
Walking across the parking lot, I let Harley push the cart we placed Quinn in. I’m a step behind them so I can keep my eyes searching everything around us. Fuck! I should’ve taken care of Alan when my girl disappeared. If I had she wouldn’t be worrying about him taking our daughter right now. She wouldn’t have ended up in the hospital, and I could make sure that Alan was nothing more than a distant memory that only took up a portion of her mind and heart. She’s got enough on her plate and her brother is doing nothing more than adding to the shit that Harley’s going through.
We make our way up and down the aisles of the store with me continuing to follow behind. I throw things in the cart every now and then while I leave the majority of the shopping up to my girl. Once we get to the meat section, I may go a bit overboard and almost run to get a second cart. But, you never know when someone’s going to randomly stop over for a meal. I want to be prepared in case that happens. In the back of my mind, I know that it’s only a matter of time before the girls start making regular visits to slowly work my girl into their inner circle.
Harley finishes up getting groceries by throwing formula, cereal, and baby food into the cart. I haven’t really seen her feed Quinn anything but formula so I’m going to follow her lead on this one. If she thinks Quinn’s ready to be put on baby food and cereal, I’ll watch her and make sure that I make it the same way and feed it to her when she does. Even though the Clifton Falls chapter has a lot of babies and there’s starting to be kids around here, it doesn’t mean that I’ve interacted with them all that much. I’ve always let the parents and prospects take over that role. I didn’t have Harley in my life then and the thought of having kids never entered my mind. I didn’t want mine growing up in a family like mine. I’ll do anything to make sure that Quinn, and whatever other children we have, never feel the way we did growing up.
Once we have everything paid for and loaded up in the SUV, I let Harley drive home. She’s shocked and I can see the fear clearly written on her face. I need to know if she can handle an SUV though. The best way to see for myself is to let her drive the short trip home. It’s more than enough time to tell me everything I need to know. Harley is a very careful driver and watches everything around her. She doesn’t try to beat the yellow lights but chooses to stop and wait for the next green one. As we near the driveway to our house, I see the prospects sitting right where I told them to in the small driveway. She needs to get used to pulling in with bikes around and parked wherever there’s a spot. My girl doesn’t disappoint or throw a fit. Instead she calmly pulls in and keeps the passenger side tires on the grass so we’re not too close to Shadow and Mike sitting against their bikes.
“Thank you,” Harley says, turning to me after putting it in park and shutting the engine off.
“For what?” I ask, confused as hell about why she’s thanking me.
“For letting me drive and making sure that I’m going to be comfortable around bikes and driving something this big. Don’t think I don’t know what you’re up to Steel. I know it’s only a matter of time before there’s a similar SUV parked in our driveway that you’re going to expect me to drive. I’m not going to fight you on this. It’s something we need, and I appreciate your confidence in me to handle things,” she responds, completely surprising me and accepting what’s going to happen. What really completes the looks of shock on my face is when she leans over and places a gentle kiss on my lips.
No matter how much I want to take things to the next level, I’m holding myself back. Harley is in complete control of what does, or doesn’t, happen between us. I’m just along for the ride right now. We’re taking this at a slow pace and letting everything out in the open. A kiss here and there isn’t taking things to the next level, it’s not even in the same ballpark. Harley will let me know when she’s ready to take that step. Right now, my main concern is making sure that she’s seeing Karen, growing the way she should have done as she was growing up, and making sure that all of her dreams, wants, and needs are met.
Alan
I’ve followed my slut of a sister back to fucking Dander Falls. They don’t know I’m here yet, but they soon will. See, when I trashed her apartment I found out her dirty little secret. Now, I know exactly how I’m going to get her to come back to me and take down the low-life fucker that’s making her think she deserves to have a happy life. A life that I’ve never had and wouldn’t want if I could. Yeah, he got me sober and made me realize that I was going about the situation with my sister all wrong. I need to break her again, make her realize that she’ll never have what our parents had. They didn’t have a perfect life, and she’s going to live in my shadow. Just like I had to live in her shadow all those years. Harley will know what it’s like to know she’s nothing more than the scum on the bottom of my shoes.
So, for now, I’m camped out just down from their house. Watching them play house and the smile that lights up Harley’s face when the dirty fucker and that bastard of a baby are around her. She doesn’t know that her entire world is about to fall down around her, but she will soon. I just have to wait for the perfect opportunity to strike. There’s going to be a minute when everyone has their guard down and that’s when I’ll strike. See, they also don’t know that I’ve taken over the apartment that Steel used to rent. As soon as his shit was out, and I saw the sign, I went in and rented the place for myself. Their precious little girl will be so close and yet no one will ever know where I am.
Since I’ve had nothing to do on the long drive and the sitting around watching, I’ve had ample opportunity to think of a plan. A foolproof way to make my sister see that she’s nothing more than a biker whore and that her daughter is disposable. Does this make me a fucking asshole? Yep. I don’t give a shit though. Why should Harley be the one that gets to live the life she’s always wanted to live? Why shouldn’t she be dragged down to the depths of hell that I live with daily? I’m going to make her pay for every perfect opportunity she stole from me when we were kids and make her feel as insignificant as my parents made me feel.
Chapter Nine
Harley
THE PAST MONTH HAS BEEN HARD. I’ve been seeing Karen three times a week and I’m making really good progress with working through everything that’s happened in my life. Steel made it possible so that she came to the house to meet so that I didn’t have to go to her. There’s been no sight of my brother, but I know it’s just a matter of time before he makes an appearance and does something that Steel and I won’t be able to come back from. Quinn is going to be his next victim, I can feel it deep in my soul.
On top of that, I’ve been working at the Kitty Kat and Darcy’s salon. When I’m working, and Steel is tending to club business one of the club girls has my daughter. The same with Darcy and Riley’s kids. They stay at the clubhouse and Gage has made sure that there’s always prospects and men of the club around to watch over them. Especially with the threat of Alan still out there. So, two nights a week I’m working with Addison and four days a week I work with Darcy. It’s been fulfilling, and I’ve been making friends of the three women that I work with. It’s been good for me to realize that I can make meaningful relationships with those people that surround me in life now.
Karen is due here in a few minutes, and I’m laying Quinn down for her nap while we meet and go over everything that’s happened over the last week. After my appointment with her, I’m supposed to be going shopping with the girls. Darcy and Riley are coming to get me, so I can finish getting things for the house. Steel wants that all done before he starts working on his mancave. I’m not sure that it’s how things should be done,
but he won’t budge. So, today we’re going to finish getting whatever I want to have in our home.
Just as I walk back downstairs, I hear a knock on the door. My heart rate instantly kicks up a notch because Steel isn’t here. One of the prospects are outside, but I know Alan would have no problem taking someone out to get to me and Quinn. If he didn’t hesitate to kill our parents when he saw an opening, I know that there’s nothing Alan won’t do to make sure he gets what he wants. Using the peephole, I take a deep breath when I see Karen standing at the door. Opening it up, I get a strange feeling of being watched. This has happened a few times over the last week and I’m on edge with not knowing where this is coming from.
“Hi Harley! How are you today?” Karen asks, walking in and heading to the living room where we usually sit.
“Hi! Um, I’m okay I think,” I answer honestly, trying to calm myself down as I close and lock the door before following her inside.
“What’s going on?” she asks, taking her seat on the love seat while I sit on the end of the couch.
“The last week or so, I’ve had a feeling like someone’s watching me. I haven’t told Steel because he’s so overworked between club business and making sure that nothing touches Quinn and me. He’d go overboard if I told him that I was feeling off or something,” I tell her honestly, not ashamed of what I’m feeling.
Karen has been helping me see that everyone leaving me had nothing to do with me. It was just the circumstances of my life that made people leave. I can’t really blame the parents of the friends I had in school not wanting their children around my brother. If I were a parent, I would’ve made the same decision they did. In my young mind, I didn’t see it that way then. The years that followed haven’t given me a chance to really open my eyes and see what was going on until I started talking to the counselor that has helped me open my eyes and start to fully let everyone around me in.
