Our Secrets and Lies

by Sinéad Moriarty

  St Jude’s played out of their skin in the second half. Dylan scored a hat-trick and won the match with a volley to the top right corner. The goalie hadn’t a hope of saving it.

  Jordan was thrilled with them, and all the parents came over to congratulate the team. Dylan was the star, though. He’d really shown his talent.

  ‘I’m so proud of you,’ Lucy whispered in his ear. Her eyes were filled with tears. Dylan hugged her. He wished Billy had been there to see it, but getting Billy out of the shop on a Saturday was a tall order.

  Dylan basked in the praise of his peers, parents and the headmaster.

  ‘Dylan, you are a credit to this school,’ Mr Gough said, in front of everyone.

  ‘Thank you, sir,’ Dylan said, as Lucy beamed beside him.

  He was glad to see his mum so happy and he felt good. He’d proven his place on the team today. As he walked towards Lucy’s car, he saw Taylor and stopped.

  She was talking to Josh. She threw her head back and laughed at something he’d said. She had her hand on his arm. He reached out and pulled her scarf so she moved closer to him. His tongue was practically hanging out. Dylan’s blood boiled and he felt sick. He wanted to go over and punch Josh in the face. How dare he flirt with her like that? The prick.

  ‘Dylan?’ Lucy called him.

  He peeled his eyes away from Taylor. ‘What?’

  ‘The car’s over here.’

  ‘I’ll be with you in a minute.’

  Dylan walked towards Taylor. She ignored him. He knew she’d seen him. She laughed even louder as he approached them.

  ‘Hey, Dylan, great game,’ Josh said.

  ‘Thanks.’ Dylan turned his back. ‘Hi, Taylor.’

  She looked over his shoulder. ‘I have to go, Josh, but I’ll see you tonight. It’s going to be awesome.’ She flicked her hair and strutted off. Josh and Dylan watched her as she walked away in her tight black jeans.

  ‘I heard you guys broke up. Man, what did you do? She totally iced you out there.’

  ‘Nothing. She’s not available so hands off.’ Dylan glared at him.

  Josh put his hands up. ‘Hey, no need to rip my head off. She told me she was single and that she was having a party tonight. She’s hot and, if she’s available, I’m going for it, man.’

  Dylan grabbed Josh by the front of his jersey. ‘Stay the hell away from her.’

  Josh pulled away. ‘I’ll do what the hell I want. Now back off, Murphy.’

  Dylan tried to calm his breathing. He heard a beep. It was his mum in the car, calling him over. He unclenched his fists, walked across to her and climbed in beside her.

  ‘What was that all about? You look furious. You should be smiling from ear to ear after that game. Did something happen with that girl? Are you fighting with Josh over her? For God’s sake, Dylan, don’t let a girl come between you and your teammates. Forget about girls for now. You need to stay focused.’

  Dylan didn’t trust himself to speak. He was trying to work out what the hell to do. He’d played out of his skin today because he’d been in bed early and focused on football, but the thought of Taylor with anyone else made him want to throw up.

  As they drove home his mum talked about the game and how brilliant he was, but Dylan was thinking, Taylor, Taylor, Taylor.

  Dylan put on some of the designer aftershave Taylor had given him and the blue shirt she said was gorgeous on him. If she was having a party, he was bloody well going to it. No one was getting their hands on her. He couldn’t stay away. He had to be with her.

  ‘Where are you going?’ Kelly asked.

  She watched him pulling on an old sweatshirt over his good shirt.

  ‘Out with a few of the lads on the team to celebrate the win.’

  ‘We both know that’s a lie. Don’t go to her party.’

  Dylan looked at her. ‘What party?’

  ‘Come on, Dylan, it’s all over Facebook. Taylor’s free house party. Don’t go. Look how well you played today without her distracting you. Mum is on a high. Do you know what she said to me? “He’s nailed it. He’s shown them all how much he deserves to be in that school.” I found her dancing around the kitchen to the radio earlier. Mum, dancing!’

  Dylan ran his hands through his hair. ‘I tried, but I can’t, Kelly. I can’t do it. I want to be with her and it’s driving me nuts.’

  ‘Come on. It hasn’t even been a week,’ Kelly reminded him.

  ‘I know, and I’m miserable. Life’s too short. I have to get her back. I’ll make sure I focus on football and school too. I’ll work it out. I might be late tonight, though, so cover for me, okay?’

  ‘I really wish you’d leave it, Dylan. She’s not good for you.’

  ‘She’s what I want.’ Dylan walked out of the door.

  He cycled over to Taylor’s house and could hear the music from halfway down the road. Cars were parked all over the driveway and he could see people streaming through the front door holding bottles of beer, wine, vodka and gin under their arms.

  He waved at a few but didn’t want to get caught up in chat. He was on a mission. The front door was open and the music was blaring out from huge speakers. Dylan went into the kitchen looking for Taylor, but there was no sign of her.

  He went through to the living room, but she wasn’t there either. He went across the hall and into the room with the big snooker table. There she was, cheering as Josh hoovered up a line of cocaine. She was wearing a tight sparkly silver dress and her hair was all wavy, like she’d just been surfing.

  She looked up and saw him. Her eyes widened in surprise. Then she turned away and put her arms around Josh. ‘I’ll have some, please.’

  ‘Anything for you, babe,’ he said, and cut her a line of coke.

  Dylan watched. Taylor snorted and wiped her nose, laughing. ‘Dylan doesn’t approve of having fun. I’m glad you do, Joshie.’

  Dylan was over like a shot. He grabbed Taylor by the waist.

  ‘Hey, get your hands off me.’ She squirmed in his arms.

  ‘Dude, let her go,’ Josh said.

  ‘Get out of my way.’ Dylan elbowed Josh sideways and lifted Taylor over his shoulder. He carried her upstairs.

  ‘Let me go, you pig.’

  ‘Not until we’ve talked.’

  ‘I’ve got nothing to say to you. You made your choice very clear. Football over me.’

  Dylan placed Taylor on her bed and locked the bedroom door.

  ‘This is my house and my party and no one invited you. Open that door,’ she shouted.

  ‘Not until you listen to me.’

  Taylor stood up and turned her back to him. ‘You dumped me. I don’t ever want to see you again. End of.’

  Dylan went over and put his arms around her. She shrugged him off and wiped her eyes. ‘I’m sorry, babe, I freaked out. I was worried about the scholarship and all that, but I made a mistake, a huge mistake. I miss you.’

  Taylor turned to face him. ‘You can’t just dump me then change your mind, click your fingers and expect me to fall into your arms. I’m Taylor Lyons. Guys beg me to go out with them and you … you just come into the school and use me, then break up with me. You hurt me, Dylan. I thought things were going really well and then out of the blue you blow me off.’

  Dylan reached out to take her hand, but she pulled it away. ‘I didn’t use you, Taylor. I’m crazy about you. You’re the most beautiful, sexy, amazing girl I’ve ever met. I’m sorry about ending it like that. I made a big mistake.’

  Taylor twirled a strand of hair around her finger. ‘Yeah, well, I am pretty amazing. Josh keeps telling me how fab I am and trying to stick his tongue down my throat.’

  ‘I’ll kill him. I want you back. I need you in my life.’

  ‘What about football and me distracting you?’

  ‘I’ll work it out.’

  ‘How do I know you’re not going to dump me again if you lose your next match?’

  Dylan went over and put his arms around her. ‘I will never, ev
er break up with you again. I’m nuts about you. Come here.’

  She punched him playfully in the chest. ‘If you weren’t so bloody gorgeous and strong and sexy and …’

  Dylan leant down and kissed her, deeply and passionately. He felt her melt into his arms. He held her tight, wanting never to let go.

  33

  Kelly took the tub of ice cream from the huge supermarket freezer and put it in her basket beside the chocolate and popcorn. As she headed down the aisle towards the checkout, her way was blocked.

  ‘Look who it is. Kelly Murphy, the biggest loser in St Jude’s,’ Melissa sneered. ‘We thought we’d find you in this dump. We came to see how you lowlifes live. We saw your granddad’s crappy shop. What a kip.’

  Kelly’s heart sank. It was bad enough to have to deal with Melissa in school, but to have her here, in her neighbourhood, insulting Billy’s shop, was too much. She felt tears of rage and hurt well up. ‘Why don’t you fuck off home, then?’ Kelly hissed.

  ‘OMG, have you no shame? You look like a hobo,’ Alicia said.

  ‘I have to post this.’ Melissa took a photo of Kelly.

  Kelly tried to push past them, but they shoved her back.

  ‘Charity cases like you shouldn’t be allowed to go to St Jude’s. You’re dragging the school down,’ Chloe said.

  ‘You look like you’ve just climbed out of a dumpster.’ Melissa wrinkled her nose.

  ‘Where did you get that jumper? It’s, like, the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. I’d rather die than wear that,’ Alicia said, snapping another photo of her.

  ‘Please borrow it and die,’ Kelly snapped.

  ‘You’re so pathetic,’ Melissa said. ‘Everyone thinks you’re such a loser. And I mean everyone. Why don’t you just do us all a favour and go back to your old school and scummy friends?’

  ‘What’s going on here?’ Shannon appeared from behind Kelly, holding a two-litre bottle of Coke and a six-pack of crisps. ‘Are these girls bothering you, Kelly?’

  ‘Oh, my God, is this one of your friends from Scumtown?’ Melissa snorted.

  ‘I’m Shannon, and you’re Melissa. I recognize your ugly mug from Instagram. You’re actually even more vile-looking in real life, you poor cow.’

  Melissa’s face went bright red. ‘How dare you speak to me, you lowlife? You should put the crisps down – you’re obese.’

  Shannon roared laughing. ‘Obese? I’m curvy, love, and the fellas love it.’

  ‘Maybe the boys in this crappy neighbourhood do,’ Chloe said, ‘but not at St Jude’s, where people have taste and class.’

  ‘Class!’ Shannon whooped. ‘You’re a bunch of vicious bitches who eat each other for breakfast. You should lay off Kelly, otherwise me and my mates will have to come up there and sort you all out.’

  Melissa shook her hands in the air. ‘Oooh, I’m shaking in my boots. The only thing you could do is crush us with your revolting flabby body. Does everyone in your area look this gross?’

  Shannon grinned. ‘If I’m not mistaken, your sister is shagging Dylan morning, noon and night. So someone in your family can’t get enough of us.’

  ‘She’s just … going through a phase. She’s being a rebel, but it won’t last.’

  ‘I dunno, she seems very keen. All of her Instagram photos are of her wrapped around him. You and Kelly here are almost related.’ Shannon chortled. ‘Dylan is probably sticking his big dick into your sister right now.’

  ‘Fuck off, you scumbag!’ Melissa roared.

  ‘Dear, oh dear, I’m very surprised that a lady like yourself would curse. What would Mummy and Daddy think?’

  Kelly laughed. She couldn’t help it – Melissa looked so out of her depth.

  Melissa glared at Kelly. ‘I’ll get you for this.’

  ‘Don’t you threaten Kelly.’ Shannon put her face right into Melissa’s. ‘If you hurt her, I’ll come up to that school and give you a good seeing-to. I hate bullies.’

  ‘Come on, Melissa.’ Alicia pulled her friend away.

  Shannon turned to Kelly. ‘What a shower of bitches.’

  ‘They make my life hell.’

  ‘You need to stand up to them, Kelly. I know it’s hard when you’re on your own, but if you let them think you’re in any way weak, they’ll get worse.’

  ‘I do try but I have to be careful not to get into trouble in school. If I tell them where to go, I’ll end up in the headmaster’s office.’

  Shannon was so frustrated for Kelly. Putting up with that kind of abuse all the time must be a nightmare. ‘It’s really crap for you, Kelly. You need to tell Lucy.’

  ‘I can’t, Shannon. I don’t want to burst her happy bubble.’

  Shannon handed the crisps to the checkout lady. ‘Well, at least we sorted them out today and gave them a bit of a scare. Hopefully I’ll have made them think before they’re horrible to you again.’

  Kelly smiled, but she knew nothing had been sorted out. She knew she’d pay for this in school.

  They went back to Shannon’s house and set up the coffee-table with drinks, crisps, chocolate and popcorn.

  ‘Right,’ Shannon said, coming in with two glasses and curling up on the couch in her zebra-print onesie. ‘Let’s watch Gossip Girl. I love that Chuck Bass, he’s so fit.’

  Kelly sat back and tried to block out the supermarket incident, but she was already dreading the fallout.

  Kelly trudged out of the school gate, head down, after a day of taunting from Melissa and Co, slagging off her ‘fat friend’.

  ‘No wonder you don’t fit in here. You clearly like hanging around with foul-mouthed, obese lowlifes.’

  It had taken all of Kelly’s resolve not to punch Melissa in the face. She could handle people being mean about her, but not about her friend. She had tried to avoid them as much as possible, but Melissa was relentless. Kelly was never so glad that school was over. She wanted to kick the wall and scream.

  She kept her head low and hurried down the road to the bus stop. Then she heard a familiar whistle. She looked up from beneath the hood of her uniform coat. ‘Sean?’

  ‘Hey, gorgeous, I thought I’d come and meet you. I missed you.’

  Kelly wanted to weep. Sean had cycled miles to see her. He’d missed her. His timing couldn’t have been more perfect. Kelly ran over and threw her arms around him.

  ‘Woah, careful, you’ll knock me over.’ Sean steadied himself and hugged her back. ‘Bad day?’ She nodded into his neck. ‘Poor Kelly. Don’t let those bitches get to you.’

  A car pulled up. ‘OMG, is this your boyfriend?’ Melissa squealed.

  Kelly’s heart sank. Melissa was leaning out of her car window, Alicia was in the passenger seat and Chloe was in the back, sniggering.

  ‘Nice bike. I think I saw one like it in a skip,’ Melissa said.

  ‘What is that uniform, Scumtown National?’ Alicia laughed, taking a photo of Sean.

  Sean let go of Kelly and walked over to the window. Leaning in, he said, ‘Hello, bitches. How’d you like to climb out of the car and say that to my face?’

  ‘Why? Are you going to beat us up? Is that how boys behave in Scumtown? Beat their women?’ Melissa said.

  ‘Oh, no, love, we’re really nice to the good-looking ones, but ugly girls like you and your two mates, well, we set them on fire. We can’t have ugly birds messing up our view.’

  ‘How dare you, I’m –’

  Sean leaned in further. ‘What are you going to do? Run to Daddy and Mummy? Take another photo of my bike? Seriously, you’re pathetic. Piss off and leave Kelly alone.’

  Melissa drove off, shouting out of the window, ‘Nice boyfriend, Kelly, a lowlife just like you.’

  Sean turned to Kelly. ‘Are you okay?’

  She nodded. ‘Yeah.’ She was lying. Melissa had seen Sean. He was her other life, her private life. She didn’t want them to know what he looked like or the bicycle he rode. She was proud of him and he was gorgeous. But she knew they’d say horrible things about him to hurt h
er and it would hurt. It would hurt so badly because Sean was so special to her. She was thrilled he’d come all the way to meet her after school, but now she kind of wished he hadn’t.

  ‘Hey.’ Sean lifted her chin to look into her eyes. ‘Don’t let them get to you. They’re jealous of you because you’re gorgeous and you have a hot boyfriend. Just ignore them.’

  Kelly gave him a smile. He didn’t get it. No one did. You can’t ignore girls who torment you all day long. It’s not that easy. It was so bloody hard to deal with it day in, day out, and now they would be cruel about Sean and she couldn’t bear that. She swallowed back her tears. ‘Come on, let’s get away from here. I hate this place.’

  ‘Your wish is my command. Hop up,’ Sean said.

  She sat on the crossbar, holding him tightly as they cycled home. He kissed her neck and slowly the tension began to fade.

  When she got home, she checked WhatsApp and her heart sank. There was a string of photos of her and Sean, then the inevitable list of comments, going on and on … Kelly’s boyfriend and his Ferrari … Kelly’s boyfriend the thug … Kelly’s boyfriend goes to Scumtown National School … Kelly and Scumbag, a match made in Heaven!

  Kelly switched her phone off and tried not to cry, but she couldn’t help it. It felt like Melissa had reached into her life and taken possession of the one thing that she really, truly cared about. She didn’t want those cows anywhere near Sean, and now the whole class was staring at him and judging him. Kelly sobbed into her pillow to muffle the noise. She felt like she was being dragged lower and lower. If this didn’t stop, she didn’t know what she’d do.

  34

  Jenny threw open Lucy’s bedroom door and twirled.

  ‘Nice dress.’

  ‘Made by your very clever daughter. She really is a wonder with clothes.’

  Lucy ignored her. The dress was lovely, but she didn’t want to get into an argument about Kelly’s talent for clothes designing and that she should pursue it as a career. It wasn’t stable enough. So few people made a living from it. Lucy wanted Kelly to be independent and financially secure. For every Victoria Beckham, there were millions of designers earning peanuts. Lucy didn’t want Kelly to live hand-to-mouth, she wanted her to have a comfortable life where money wasn’t a constant source of worry. She could design in her spare time.